Damn. T-This. I really like where it's going! ♥ I really love how sad it seems. America seems so broken and England is just so sad... ;A;
I think it's fine! There's only a few grammatical mistakes, but they can easily be read over~~ x3 If I had to say anything more useful other then my lavish praise cause I'm so excited that one of my requests have been filled ;A; It'd be that I think the beginning was a little rushed and maybe you should try pouring more emotion into it? Like more about how everything feels for the characters, or the main ones, anyway.
But still! Keep up the good work and shit, I cannot wait till Part 2. I really wanna see how England will take care of America!
Re: The So-Called Ever Burning Sun [1/?]
anonymous
June 14 2009, 19:29:15 UTC
Echoing the first commenter. Will be keeping an eye on this. Broken America is a rarity, and I'm curious to know what exactly happened that lead to it, and how England's going to handle this. Looking forward to the next part!
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I think it's fine! There's only a few grammatical mistakes, but they can easily be read over~~ x3 If I had to say anything more useful other then my lavish praise cause I'm so excited that one of my requests have been filled ;A; It'd be that I think the beginning was a little rushed and maybe you should try pouring more emotion into it? Like more about how everything feels for the characters, or the main ones, anyway.
But still! Keep up the good work and shit, I cannot wait till Part 2. I really wanna see how England will take care of America!
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Reply
I will post updates there from now on. Anon is sorry for this!
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