Dear Francis...

[beau_bonnefoy]

Who: Francis, anyone, everyone.
Where:For Francis: radio studio in Student Activities Building
When: Monday-Thursday during the 9 o'clock hour.
What: Francis hosting his nightly radio show
Can other people participate? Of course!
Summary: Francis helps other students with relationship issues

Comments

[petr_slavik]

Petr reads his letter again:

Dear Francis,

I need some advice. I’m really shy and when I’m nervous I ends to be really rude to people. I don’t want to upset them with telling the truth (damn my parents to raise me like this).
And there is this one guy who keeps telling me that I’m cute! I don’t think I’m cute… see… there are… some things… on my body… some really ugly scars and tattoo… I … uhm…

So will you help me? I don’t know what to do anymore.

Desperate soul.

“This sounds so sappy. But I need some advice even if it’s from him.” He looks around. If somebody asks him why he was here… he will think something up. He will deny this letter is from him.

Later he turns his small radio on to listen if Francis picks his letter and if he will help him with his advice.

[beau_bonnefoy]

Dear Desperate Soul,

Telling the truth is important, but in certain cases, especially with those involving someone's feelings, it is okay to tell a little white lie. It will spare the person's feelings and you can avoid awkward moments. If this is something you cannot do, refrain from commenting or change the subject.

Mon cher, if someone thinks you are cute he is most certainly correct! You should tell that person thank you and take him out for coffee. Perhaps a lovely romance will blossom!

Remember, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Best of luck,

Francis ♥

[ichbin_preussen]

Dear Francis,

I've got a problem I hope you can help me with. It's not a big problem. It's pretty skinny, actually. But it's in my bed and totally stealing the blankets right now. That's why I'm up writing you; I'm cold, but I can't get my problem to come up off any sheets. He's a pretty sound sleeper.

He's pretty sexy, too. I'd say I wanna bang him, but I already did that. That's why he's sleeping; I'm that damn good. But I never have anybody spend the night, so I'm not sure what to do with him in the morning. Do I let him sleep as long as he wants, even though he's being a total sheet-stealer? Should I wake him up really early and bang him again for stealing my sheets? Or should I wake him up really early, bang him again, and make him breakfast afterward?

Totally lost here, which is weird for me, 'cause usually I'm really fuckin' suave and shit.

Thanks,
You'd Better Appreciate These Damn Pancakes, FrenchieSatisfied, Gilbert folded the letter up and stuck it in an addressed, stamped envelope. There. That would

[beau_bonnefoy]

Francis nearly spewed his coffee when he read the letter. Well! It was certainly a good thing he had read this before going on the air. And yes, he'd still be reading it on the air, he wasn't so much of a spoiled sport that he wouldn't.

Dear Pancakes,

First, you need to take a moment to appreciate what a wonderful problem you have. There aren't too many people who have had the particular pleasure of having their blankets stolen by such a lovely man. As for the blankets, he can't hog them if you're holding him while you're sleep, can he? You get your warm blankets, as well as earn points for such a sweet gesture.

As for what you should do, the third option is the best. There's nothing nicer than good morning sex accompanied by a homemade breakfast. Of course, after something like that, he might be more inclined to steal your sheets again.

Love Always,

Francis ♥

P.S. Those pancakes were delicious.

[koffie_tijd]

Dear Francis,

I've recently gotten a new hair cut and it's been driving me insane! Everyone has been calling me Edward Cullen. You know, the sparkling gay vampire? I'm really am getting sick, and quite offended by it.

It doesn't help the fact that a hoard of preteen girls (and guys) have been running up to me, telling me that their windows are open just for me to visit them in their sleep and bite into their necks as they wail in ecstasy. I don't even know what that means! Wouldn't that be considered child molestation?

P.S. I am disappointed at your lack of recycling.

~Stroopwafels

Lars look at his letter for the fifth time, debating with himself if he should turn it in or not. With a sigh, he shoved the paper through the drop off box and fled.

[beau_bonnefoy]

Dear Stroopwafels,

That is most unfortunate to hear! It really is insulting to be compared to a character from something that can hardly even be considered terrible literature. (And to think, that series has been translated into my language!)

There are several things you can do. Either try to ignore the comments, as infuriating as they may be, alter your hair style again, or if that doesn't work for you, wear a paper bag over your head.

Also, decline all offers from them unless you get off on fulfilling the twisted the desires of prepubescent children. (Yes, that would count as child molestation and that's illegal here.)

Best of luck,

Francis ♥

P.S.

I don't know where you're coming from; reusing condoms is always a bad idea.

[bloodyfullmoon]

Dear Francis,

I look forward to sending you letters as much as I did last year. ♥

So I am having another problem with getting people to like me. Recently there have been a lot of these um... I believe the term is outcasts, yes? They are very strange people that actually like being alone. This confuses me very much because I thought people do not like being lonely. That is why they hang out and make friends, yes?

I cannot figure out how to make friends with these people. It is hard trying to communite with them since they act so shy. They do not seem to like being touched either, so sex is not the answer this time sadly. What else can I do?

With love,

The Tiny Pink Sunflower

P.S. We should have a drink together sometime, comrade. ♥

Ivan was very content with his letter as he dropped it off in the box. He hoped Francis would read it soon. He liked hearing what the man had to say.

[beau_bonnefoy]

Dear Sunflower,

There are different types of people in the world. Some are very social, some are not. Some people who aren't very social are just really shy but otherwise would love to hang out with people and make friends. It's just really hard for them. The best thing to do would to continue being friendly and talking to them. I'm certain they'll warm up to you in no time. You've quite likable.

Good luck with this, mon tournesol. As always, feel free to write again as needed.

Always,

Francis ♥

P.S. Yes, we must!

[ilmiotesoro]

Hey bastard

How the hell do I get rid of this clingy Spanish bastard?? He always makes me feel nervous and giddy and makes me blush and and and I don't know if I want to punch him or kiss him and I just want to punch his face in god damn it.
Any help?

~NOTCUTE

PS: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.

Already late for his next class, Lovino didn't think of rewriting the letter and decided to deliver the little piece of crumpled paper with striked out text just as it was. His plan was flawless, anyway; no one could possibly figure out he was the one to write it, right?

[beau_bonnefoy]

Dear Lovino,

I'm not quite sure why you're asking how to get rid of him, when we both know how much you enjoy his company. There is no point in pushing him away if you enjoy his company, although I do have a suggestion in regards to all this anger you seem to display! Since you both love tomatoes, make a trail of them or your choice tomato-based products up to your bedroom.

You'll only have to wait for a moment and I'm sure he'll be up there. From there, there are a number of stress-relieving activities you can engage in that will also improve your relationship. Candles, scented oils, lube, and condoms are suggested items to have on hand.

Good luck!

Francis ♥

P.S. You are the one who pursues me.