[Part 17] Nordics Try To Write Porn (3/?)
anonymous
June 7 2011, 14:32:06 UTC
"Norway! Guess what!"
Norway peered tiredly over his glasses. He was really starting to get sick of Denmark's intrusions. This time, Denmark had Finland, smiling sheepishly, and Sweden, who was glowering, as well as Iceland, who was still trying (and failing) to hide a smirk beside him.
Norway couldn't help but be curious. "How exactly did you get Sweden to agree to do this with you?"
Denmark shrugged, uncaring. "Finland talked to him. But now, Scandinavia as a whole can write the best porn ever!"
Norway thought about it, ignoring that Denmark ignored the fact he hadn't actually agreed yet. Writing porn wasn't exactly his top choice of a career, but his economy didn't seem to be improving much. Not to mention, he'd be able to spend some time with his brother and mock Denmark mercilessly as he fought with Sweden.
"Alright."
Denmark whooped and grabbed Norway into a bone-crushing hug.
Denmark was sent flying through the door, startling the old lady next door out of her hat.
Not love but not bad 1/3
anonymous
June 7 2011, 15:59:15 UTC
Hungary/Croatia, I'm not sure if I got the request right but it's at least based on this: http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/17337.html?thread=50033849#t50033849 I heard Serbia/Croatia and Hungary have the worst profanity in Europe but since I don't speak either I can't say for sure..."Thank you," Serbia said. "Most unexpected and a little random... But I think it's about time I got acknowledged for my progress in this area. I would like to thank Turkey, Hungary and Germany for invaluable inspiration. And Albania and Bulgaria for rewarding cultural exchange. And my neighbors should really be here with me because they speak my language too
( ... )
Not love but not bad 2/3
anonymous
June 7 2011, 16:05:25 UTC
“I always wanted you, you know,” Croatia casually said as his hand lightly touched her waist, then stayed here. “Can you guess who my teenage fantasies were all about? You always been such a pička, I wanted to fuck you and kill you at the same time
( ... )
Re: Not love but not bad 3/3
anonymous
June 7 2011, 20:00:00 UTC
Nice job anon! I was grinning and laughing so hard. Where to begin?
- Balkan nations and Hungary high-fiving when one of them created a new curse. Somehow the mental image cracked me up. - poor Croatia and his messed-up puberty. Oh Hungary, poor boy surely had some "interesting" ideas about himself. -bathroom sex. - Romania and Serbia trying to teach Sweden and Norway how to curse "like real men". Those mental images... :D
And don't worry, the Hungarian profanity you used exists. If anyone is interested, literal translation is "go to Death's cock".
America, sitting on his bed, wondered what the hell was taking England so long in the bathroom. He’d only gone to brush his teeth, and he’d been in there for about ten damn minutes, and America was getting impatient. The last two times he’d visited were full of running here and there and as soon as they had some downtime England would fall asleep, or claim to have something to do…or anything, actually. But tonight, there was nothing. They were solely on vacation now, and England was taking foreverHe got up and wandered over to the door, knocking lightly. “Arthur
( ... )
[Part 6] God Bless Hamburgers [2/2]
anonymous
June 8 2011, 17:52:14 UTC
“Arthur,” he said in his no-nonsense, don’t argue voice. “I don’t actually care what you look like. I’m not shallow, babe. I mean, it’s a perk, but I’m pretty sure you can make anything hot, because I already love your body, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to love it even with all that extra weight on it. Of course, I don’t know for sure, because you won’t take your damn clothes off so I can fuck you into the mattress and make you scream my name. I am dying right now, we haven’t had sex in two months and I want some, and you can do whatever you want to lose the weight or not, but right now I want you and a little fat is not going to make me lose my fucking erection
( ... )
[Part 15] A tale of two hair curls [3a/?]
anonymous
June 12 2011, 02:25:00 UTC
Something one should never try to do is write multiple things at the same time. No, not in quick succession, but having multiple Word windows open, half-formed chapters on each document. It ends only with low productivity and writer’s block. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next time Svalbard saw Spirit was a month later at another meeting.
What do you two talk about, anyway? Jan Mayen asked. It must be very interesting, since you chat the entire meeting, and shout across the room at each other if you . See, South Korea’s all the way on the other side of the room, but you’re still talking to-what’s his name again?
Spirit, Jan, Spirit. Generally, it was impolite to broadcast your conversation if you were a hair curl. What one spoke of was between them and the other person they spoke to. Due to this, and to the odd fact that Spirit didn’t usually talk to anyone but her, Jan Mayen didn’t know anything about the smiling ahoge, not even a name
( ... )
[Part 15] A tale of two hair curls [3b/?]
anonymous
June 12 2011, 02:46:31 UTC
What’s your favorite animal? Svalbard asked after a while.
What d’you think of tigers? I think they’re great! Tigers are really brave and strong! What about you?
Reindeer. They’re so fluffy, especially the babies…
Hmm, I thought you would like polar bears. I heard you had a lot! Svalbard would’ve rolled her eyes if she had any.
They’re annoying.
What? Why would you think they’re annoying? They’re probably very fierce, too!
They ARE annoying…you can’t even leave Longyearbyen without a gun, they’re so happy to disembowel you…if you go to the university, your first class is how to shoot a gun…Judging by his face, Spirit appeared rather surprised at that fact.
Really? There are that many polar bears in Norway? They’re that dangerous?
Not Norway, Svalbard. Which…is a part of Norway, but still.Her own statement made her think for a moment. She hadn’t been to Longyearbyen in…nearly a hundred years, back when it was an American settlement. She hadn't visited Sveagruva or Ny Alesund after she started floating around Norway, either, and
( ... )
Re: [Part 15] A tale of two hair curls [3b/?]
anonymous
June 12 2011, 02:47:26 UTC
Eh…um…Norge? Svalbard asked hesitantly once they arrived at the hotel where he was staying during the conference. When Norway didn’t answer, she tried again.
And again. And again. And again…
Norge Norge Norge Norge Norge Norge Norge Norge NORGE….Svalbard chanted. It got boring after a while, and she was tempted to give up…but she said she would try to talk to him!
WHAT?! Norway finally exclaimed-mentally, of course. For a second, Svalbard was rather surprised, but then noted that he was probably rather annoyed and it was very hard to hide emotions with thought connections. Before Svalbard could say anything though, he continued.
I’m hearing…your MURMURING all the time! Do you know how that makes me feel? I thought I could just ignore you, but it seems to me that I can’t! What are you, anyway? I had always thought that you were some…some voice at the back of my head, but that obviously can’t be it! Who and what the hell are you?If Svalbard could, she would have winced. That…was a bit harsh, she thought
( ... )
America discovers that Russia is plagued by terrible nightmares and had been for years. After finding a way to enter Russia's dreams (magic, alien technology, etc) he decides to travel into the nightmares to save Russia from whatever is tormenting him inside his head. That's what a hero does, right?
Bonus: Many of the nightmares are centered around things in Russia's past. Bonus 2: America accidentally stumbles upon some nice, fluffy dreams about himself in Russia's head.
Here and Now 1
anonymous
June 8 2011, 19:26:06 UTC
Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now? -John Lennon
America had never really given much thought to why Russia was always up before him until Lithuania had pointed it out to him. He had assumed it was simply the other nation’s quirk: early to bed and early to rise and all that. But now as he slowly woke up and studied the other nation’s pensive look, he couldn’t help but wonder if it was true.
Weak grey light seeped into the room, cold with the breaking morning. Birds chattered in the distance, their calls muted by the closed window. America didn’t move, watching Russia carefully. The other nation had yet to notice that America was awake, still looking out the window to where the sky began to slowly slide from the dark hues of midnight to the pale yellow of breaking day. His cheeks, nose, and eyes were glazed by the weak grey light, making him look more grave in his silent and private thoughts.
America finally shifted to glance at the glowing alarm clock and blinked tiredly at the
( ... )
Here and Now 2
anonymous
June 8 2011, 19:28:16 UTC
---
“I’m starting to think Lithuania was right.”
England glanced up from his paperwork, green eyes dull from the litany of signing and reading the dry reports. America sat across from him, feet propped up on the desk and signing his initials on the paper in his lap. “Get your feet down,” England said and looked back to the report on the hotel desk. “And what was Lithuania right about?”
“That Russia has really bad nightmares.” America began to chew on the cap of the pen, eyebrows furrowed together.
“We all have nightmares, lad,” England replied quickly, missing the pensive look on the North American nation’s face. He sighed softly as he flipped through a folder deftly, the rustling of papers filling the room along with the muted beats from America’s iPod.
“No shit.” America took his feet down and tilted further into his chair. “But do you have them every single night?”
“No,” England admitted, looking up once again to meet America’s worried blue gaze.
“Right, I mean, I’ve been staying up at night this week” And he had. He
( ... )
Here and Now 3
anonymous
June 8 2011, 19:30:07 UTC
With a sigh, England stood up and walked towards the hotel window, looking out at the dark Boston skyline. “Maybe he simply does not want to talk about it. We all have our sordid pasts that come to haunt us at one point or another.” The face reflected on the glass pane was stern and tinted with a well-hidden sadness. America watched the other nation’s back before looking at the wall. Outside the hotel door a woman was talking to her child as they walked through the halls.
“But Artie,” he muttered, “this is every single night. He doesn’t sleep anymore.”
“He’ll say something eventually.” England looked away from the skyline and drew the curtains closed.
America took a long sigh, the heavy scent of cleaning supplies filling his mouth. “No he won’t. He’s as stubborn as I am.” When England looked as if he were about to retort, he tacked on quietly, “He nearly fainted in a cross walk this afternoon. He could have been hit by a car if I hadn’t pulled him aside.”
Both England and America looked to the floor in thought and America
( ... )
Comments 9069
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"Hey, Norge, Iceland agreed to help! You want to write with us now? Brotherly bonding and all that!"
Norway looked from Denmark's eagerly expectant face to Iceland's barely concealed snigger and took two seconds to make his decision.
"Go away."
"But, Norway!"
Two seconds later, a troll kicked both intruding nations out the door.
Reply
Norway peered tiredly over his glasses. He was really starting to get sick of Denmark's intrusions. This time, Denmark had Finland, smiling sheepishly, and Sweden, who was glowering, as well as Iceland, who was still trying (and failing) to hide a smirk beside him.
Norway couldn't help but be curious. "How exactly did you get Sweden to agree to do this with you?"
Denmark shrugged, uncaring. "Finland talked to him. But now, Scandinavia as a whole can write the best porn ever!"
Norway thought about it, ignoring that Denmark ignored the fact he hadn't actually agreed yet. Writing porn wasn't exactly his top choice of a career, but his economy didn't seem to be improving much. Not to mention, he'd be able to spend some time with his brother and mock Denmark mercilessly as he fought with Sweden.
"Alright."
Denmark whooped and grabbed Norway into a bone-crushing hug.
Denmark was sent flying through the door, startling the old lady next door out of her hat.
Reply
This is so funny so far! Hope to see more soon!
Reply
I heard Serbia/Croatia and Hungary have the worst profanity in Europe but since I don't speak either I can't say for sure..."Thank you," Serbia said. "Most unexpected and a little random... But I think it's about time I got acknowledged for my progress in this area. I would like to thank Turkey, Hungary and Germany for invaluable inspiration. And Albania and Bulgaria for rewarding cultural exchange. And my neighbors should really be here with me because they speak my language too ( ... )
Reply
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- Balkan nations and Hungary high-fiving when one of them created a new curse. Somehow the mental image cracked me up.
- poor Croatia and his messed-up puberty. Oh Hungary, poor boy surely had some "interesting" ideas about himself.
-bathroom sex.
- Romania and Serbia trying to teach Sweden and Norway how to curse "like real men". Those mental images... :D
And don't worry, the Hungarian profanity you used exists. If anyone is interested, literal translation is "go to Death's cock".
Reply
----
America, sitting on his bed, wondered what the hell was taking England so long in the bathroom. He’d only gone to brush his teeth, and he’d been in there for about ten damn minutes, and America was getting impatient. The last two times he’d visited were full of running here and there and as soon as they had some downtime England would fall asleep, or claim to have something to do…or anything, actually. But tonight, there was nothing. They were solely on vacation now, and England was taking foreverHe got up and wandered over to the door, knocking lightly. “Arthur ( ... )
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Request: http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/17942.html?thread=56586774#t56586774
Parts 1 and 2: http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/18772.html?thread=75813460#t75813460
Reply
It ends only with low productivity and writer’s block.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next time Svalbard saw Spirit was a month later at another meeting.
What do you two talk about, anyway? Jan Mayen asked. It must be very interesting, since you chat the entire meeting, and shout across the room at each other if you . See, South Korea’s all the way on the other side of the room, but you’re still talking to-what’s his name again?
Spirit, Jan, Spirit. Generally, it was impolite to broadcast your conversation if you were a hair curl. What one spoke of was between them and the other person they spoke to. Due to this, and to the odd fact that Spirit didn’t usually talk to anyone but her, Jan Mayen didn’t know anything about the smiling ahoge, not even a name ( ... )
Reply
What d’you think of tigers? I think they’re great! Tigers are really brave and strong! What about you?
Reindeer. They’re so fluffy, especially the babies…
Hmm, I thought you would like polar bears. I heard you had a lot! Svalbard would’ve rolled her eyes if she had any.
They’re annoying.
What? Why would you think they’re annoying? They’re probably very fierce, too!
They ARE annoying…you can’t even leave Longyearbyen without a gun, they’re so happy to disembowel you…if you go to the university, your first class is how to shoot a gun…Judging by his face, Spirit appeared rather surprised at that fact.
Really? There are that many polar bears in Norway? They’re that dangerous?
Not Norway, Svalbard. Which…is a part of Norway, but still.Her own statement made her think for a moment. She hadn’t been to Longyearbyen in…nearly a hundred years, back when it was an American settlement. She hadn't visited Sveagruva or Ny Alesund after she started floating around Norway, either, and ( ... )
Reply
And again. And again. And again…
Norge Norge Norge Norge Norge Norge Norge Norge NORGE….Svalbard chanted. It got boring after a while, and she was tempted to give up…but she said she would try to talk to him!
WHAT?! Norway finally exclaimed-mentally, of course. For a second, Svalbard was rather surprised, but then noted that he was probably rather annoyed and it was very hard to hide emotions with thought connections. Before Svalbard could say anything though, he continued.
I’m hearing…your MURMURING all the time! Do you know how that makes me feel? I thought I could just ignore you, but it seems to me that I can’t! What are you, anyway? I had always thought that you were some…some voice at the back of my head, but that obviously can’t be it! Who and what the hell are you?If Svalbard could, she would have winced. That…was a bit harsh, she thought ( ... )
Reply
America discovers that Russia is plagued by terrible nightmares and had been for years. After finding a way to enter Russia's dreams (magic, alien technology, etc) he decides to travel into the nightmares to save Russia from whatever is tormenting him inside his head. That's what a hero does, right?
Bonus: Many of the nightmares are centered around things in Russia's past.
Bonus 2: America accidentally stumbles upon some nice, fluffy dreams about himself in Russia's head.
Reply
-John Lennon
America had never really given much thought to why Russia was always up before him until Lithuania had pointed it out to him. He had assumed it was simply the other nation’s quirk: early to bed and early to rise and all that. But now as he slowly woke up and studied the other nation’s pensive look, he couldn’t help but wonder if it was true.
Weak grey light seeped into the room, cold with the breaking morning. Birds chattered in the distance, their calls muted by the closed window. America didn’t move, watching Russia carefully. The other nation had yet to notice that America was awake, still looking out the window to where the sky began to slowly slide from the dark hues of midnight to the pale yellow of breaking day. His cheeks, nose, and eyes were glazed by the weak grey light, making him look more grave in his silent and private thoughts.
America finally shifted to glance at the glowing alarm clock and blinked tiredly at the ( ... )
Reply
---
“I’m starting to think Lithuania was right.”
England glanced up from his paperwork, green eyes dull from the litany of signing and reading the dry reports. America sat across from him, feet propped up on the desk and signing his initials on the paper in his lap. “Get your feet down,” England said and looked back to the report on the hotel desk. “And what was Lithuania right about?”
“That Russia has really bad nightmares.” America began to chew on the cap of the pen, eyebrows furrowed together.
“We all have nightmares, lad,” England replied quickly, missing the pensive look on the North American nation’s face. He sighed softly as he flipped through a folder deftly, the rustling of papers filling the room along with the muted beats from America’s iPod.
“No shit.” America took his feet down and tilted further into his chair. “But do you have them every single night?”
“No,” England admitted, looking up once again to meet America’s worried blue gaze.
“Right, I mean, I’ve been staying up at night this week” And he had. He ( ... )
Reply
With a sigh, England stood up and walked towards the hotel window, looking out at the dark Boston skyline. “Maybe he simply does not want to talk about it. We all have our sordid pasts that come to haunt us at one point or another.” The face reflected on the glass pane was stern and tinted with a well-hidden sadness. America watched the other nation’s back before looking at the wall. Outside the hotel door a woman was talking to her child as they walked through the halls.
“But Artie,” he muttered, “this is every single night. He doesn’t sleep anymore.”
“He’ll say something eventually.” England looked away from the skyline and drew the curtains closed.
America took a long sigh, the heavy scent of cleaning supplies filling his mouth. “No he won’t. He’s as stubborn as I am.” When England looked as if he were about to retort, he tacked on quietly, “He nearly fainted in a cross walk this afternoon. He could have been hit by a car if I hadn’t pulled him aside.”
Both England and America looked to the floor in thought and America ( ... )
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