OOC: Log! Whee~~~

[hex_you_up]

Who: Ginny and Zuko
What: They needed to meet up and talk about some Issues.
Where: The park we keep having them meet in
When: Last Monday, the 2nd
Why: Because you people left us on our own for ten seconds. Bad things happen. I'd have thought you'd have learned by now. *shakes head*


Ginny Apparated to the park in London where she'd agreed to meet Zuko, still not totally sure she even wanted to see him. She was still sort of hurt that he didn't seem to have even tried to understand why what he'd done had bothered her so much. Lost in thought, she wandered over to the swingset and dropped onto one of the swings.

At this late hour, there were no children in the park, so she had the swingset to herself. She wrapped her arms around the chains and swung gently back and forth as she waited.

"Hey, how's it going?" Zuko called quietly as he dropped from a tree branch to sit on the top bar of the swingset. The side of his face that wasn't scarred was black and blue, a small ring around his eye.

Ginny yelped and jumped. "Don't do that," she snapped, tipping her head back to look up at him.

"It's fun," he replied with a hint of indignance as he flipped over and crawled down one of the supporting bars until he could easily jump to the ground. "Been awhile since we've been here."

"Yes," she agreed, keeping her tone as neutral as possible. "...Why'd Maru punch you?" she asked after a moment, watching him out of the corner of her eye.

"Because that's his form of punctuation when he lectures," he told her calmly. "Kept going on and on about 'feelings' and kept calling me an asshole. Whatever."

"Good," she said shortly, transferring her stare to the ground.

"You're not exactly innocent, yourself," he remarked as he stepped behind her to loosely wrap his arms around her waist. "Don't like being made fun of, now, do you?"

"Do not touch me," she said, her voice cold, twisting away from him in the swing.

"I don't think I will," he said with a hint of playfulness before he went back to being serious. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Too late," she snapped.

"You don't mean that," Zuko told her, kneeling down slightly so he could be more level with her. "You're just angry. I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry. But you were being hurtful too."

"You laughed at me, Zuko."

"You laugh at me all the time," he reminded her.

"But I don't mean it. You know I don't. That-- that--" she bit back all the nasty words she was thinking of to describe Misa. After all, she had promised him. "She called me a bitch, and you thought it was funny that I was hurt and angry."

"Other people agreed with her too," he pointed out. "Don't take it so seriously. It's an endearing character trait."

"It doesn't matter what anyone else said!" she cried. "What should have been important was that I was hurt!"

"I already told you I was sorry." He frowned. "What more do you want?"

"I want you to understand," she whispered, finally looking up at him with eyes full of hurt.

"I do understand," he replied softly, hugging her close against him.

"Then explain to me what it is you did wrong," she said, trying to push him away.

"I laughed at you even though your feelings were hurt." He sighed. "Come on... It's all right."

"You know, most people, if they did that, it wouldn't bother me," she said conversationally.

"Then why does what I say matter so much?"

"Because I actually care what you think of me," she said, her voice softer this time.

"But why?" he frowned.

"Why wouldn't I? You're one of my best friends. You care what I think of you, don't you?"

"Eh....Maybe," he shrugged.

She looked up at him. "Don't bullshit me. I can tell," she said flatly.

"I still think you're a bitch," he whispered in her ear. "But I like it."

She opened and closed her mouth a few times. No response made itself immediately available.

"It's something I find attractive," he told her, his voice still low and somewhat sultry. "In case you haven't noticed, Mai's somewhat of a bitch too. Probably more so than you are. But that's what I like. It's hot. 'Good' girls are boring."

"Zuko, stop," she protested weakly.

He chuckled softly and pulled her back flush against him. "Stop what?"

Ginny sighed heavily and relaxed. "Why do I always end up forgiving you so easily?" she asked rhetorically.

"Because I'm awesome?" he suggested with a smirk and then kissed her on the cheek.

"No." She stood up. "Come on, this isn't comfortable at all." She dragged him over to the grassy area bordering the swingset and dropped to the ground again.

He followed and sat down beside her, looking at her as if debating what to do next. "So..." Zuko said quietly. "We did the "make up".... Now where's the 'kiss' part?"

"Oh, Zuko, honestly--" She swatted at him, deliberately missing.

"Please?" He did his best pitiful wide-eyed pouty expression. "You didn't do anything for my birthday..."

"Oh, did I miss it?" she exclaimed. "Oh, Zuko, I'm sorry!"

"You did," Zuko frowned. "'Maru I can forgive....but Mai...and you... Well, Mai already made up for it. Your turn."

"Oh, I'm sorry, love." She threw her arms around him and hugged him. "I'm half-tempted to say my gift is forgiving you for being a prick, but I'll be nicer than that."

Laughing, he shifted himself so he was able to pin her down on the ground and hover over her, smirking playfully. "You'd better."

Ginny folded her arms across her chest and tried to glare at him, but the expression came out more amused than anything. "Oh, and now what."

"Hmm..." Zuko glanced around, considering the best choice of action. With a grin, he plucked several blades of grass and sprinkled them on her face. "I win."

She spluttered, reaching up to swat at him again. "Zuko! Oh, honestly." she giggled.

He slid off and laid beside her, smirking. "You know you missed this."

"What, you throwing grass at me?" She giggled at him some more.

"Us," he replied softly. "Like this."

She offered him a smile. "You know you're one of my best friends," she said, rolling onto her side and propping her head up on a fist. "I do wish I could see you more often."

"I'm sorry..." He sighed, biting his lip. "I've just been so busy... There's only a month or so until the comet....And we have to be ready..."

"I know you are. I'd rather you be ready." She rolled onto her stomach, folding her hands under her chin. "And it's not just you that's been busy. You were right, I haven't made much effort."

"I miss you... A lot..." Zuko told her quietly. "Despite all the people.... It's still lonely, you know? And I never get much time to myself...to relax..."

"I know." She propped herself up on her elbows. "Anything I can do to help..."

"NO!" he replied defensively, without hesitation, cheeks flushing red for a moment. "I'm fine... We're fine... You're better here... It's too dangerous..." He was about to add 'and I still don't trust myself' but didn't.

"Aww, Zuko." She smiled. It was nice for someone to worry over her for once. "Well, anything I can do that's not dangerous, then."

He was going to say something along the lines of "Oh gods please just close your eyes and cover your ears while I have my wicked way with you because I'm a desperate asshole...." but thought better of it. Instead he chewed his lip and replied with a grunt and a shrug.

"Hey." She poked him in the side. "Really, Zuko. I want to help you win."

"Eh..." He shifted his gaze to the side. "We're okay, really. It's the Avatar. We've got it good."

"Don't avoid me." She poked at him again.

"It's fine," he assured her. "Really, it is."

"I believe you. But the offer stands." Ginny pulled up a piece of grass and started shredding it. "I'm getting better at healing, did you know?"

"Really?" He asked, genuinely interested.

"Mm-hmm. I've been over on the Gurren Lagann a few times, trying to help out there. I can't actually go out and fight in their big war, y'know, but I want to help, so..." she shrugged. "My options are kind of limited."

"You can help me in other ways, you know," he smirked. "....Kidding, of course."

"Zuko!" She threw her bits of grass in his face.

He sputtered and wiped his face with the back of his hand. "Is that a yes?"

"Oh, Zuko, honestly."

"You know you like it...." he teased.

"What, you being an idiot? No, no that's just me putting up with you." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Do that again and I'll bite it off," he warned with a smirk.

"You'll do no such thing, it would be very bad for your health."

"I think my health can manage," he grinned.

"Not to mention your lifespan," she deadpanned, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm still debating whether or not it's worth the risk," he joked.

"You are ridiculous." She threw more grass at him.

He laughed and grabbed her so he could pull her on top of him. "But that's what makes me likable..."

She blew a raspberry at him. "Gods know why."

"You know why..." He smirked and then nipped at her lip. "Told you I'd bite it."

Ginny yelped and fell sideways off his chest. "Zuko! You can't do that!"

"Can't do what?" he blinked, looking very confused.

"Act -- like -- that," she stuttered. "You just can't."

"Act....like what?" His brow furrowed in confused. "I didn't hurt you...did I?"

"Please don't." She gave him an anguished look.

"Don't...what?" he whispered, the tone hinting of worry.

"If you... make a pass at me, Light'll kill you," she said, struggling to keep her voice steady and not meeting his eyes.

"Mai would too...." he mumbled then looked at her with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. "He doesn't have to know...." He nuzzled against her neck, inhaling her scent.

"Zuko, don't," she said, unable to stop herself from shivering.

"It's alright..." Zuko whispered, gently grabbing her hand. "Do you really not want this? Honestly? You... Not him."

"Don't make me lie to you," she replied, her gaze fixed on the ground.

"Then don't lie," he frowned.

She pressed her lips together and stared fixedly at the grass, refusing to answer him.

Zuko gave her hand a squeeze, not taking his gaze off her. "Come on... It's alright. I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know you're not."

"Then tell me," he whispered.

She shook her head again, not even sure what he was asking her to tell him anymore, but knowing nonetheless that she didn't want to.

He pressed his lips to her cheek then pulled away so his breath puffed against the shell of her ear. "...What's wrong? You can tell me..."

"Stop." She shivered again.

"What?" He asked her again.

"You have Mai. I have Light. Stop."

"I don't really want to...." he confessed, his voice a soft murmur.

"Please don't do this now," she begged him. "We just made up."

"You're really fuckin' me up," he laughed softly, chewing on his lip as he ran his hand through his hair. "You know that?"

"What d'you mean?" She finally looked up at him, frowning.

"Nothing..." He replied, shaking his head. "It's a guy thing."

"Don't give me that." The frown deepened.

"It's fine..." He sighed. "Living in practically solitary confinement makes me easily excitable... I guess."

She stared at him openmouthed for a second, then looked away, gnawing on her lip. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," he shrugged. "Really. No big deal. I'm a loser, so I'm used to it."

"No you aren't," Ginny protested weakly.

"I am too," he laughed. "Can't even get laid."

She gave a pathetic laugh. "Pregnant women generally don't, either."

"I'd still do it," he teased.

She flushed and turned her attention to the grass again.

"Seriously," he told her quietly. "You couldn't not look great if you tried."

Ginny snorted. "Sure."

"It's true," he assured her, lightly running his hand along her leg. "I wouldn't lie about that. You're pretty."

She shivered again, jerking away from him. "I know."

"You look great." he murmured softly, brushing his lips against her neck. "If anyone tells you otherwise, they're lying and deserve to get shot."

"Goddammit Zuko stop making me want you!" she finally exclaimed, shoving herself away from him and scrambling to her feet.

He leapt to his feet as well and gently grabbed her by the hand. "....I'm sorry."

"I can't want you," she said, her voice trembling, and jerked her hand away. "I'm married. To Light. I'm pregnant, for gods' sake."

"And I love Mai..." He said quielty then sighed. "Maybe...that's why I want it more... Fuck..."

"I'm sorry," she said, still shaking slightly, and backed up a few more steps.

He grabbed her harshly by the arm, without meaning to, and held onto her waist. "Don't be..." Zuko murmuring, his lips dangerously close to her ear. It was obvious he was trying so hard not to do anything.

"Don't do this," she whispered pleadingly.

He tried to distract himself. To think of really unappealing things. Like naked Maru...but it really wasn't working all that well. "I wouldn't do anything you wouldn't like..." he said quietly. One hand found itself crawling up her stomach.

"Don't," she protested again, shoving at him. "You don't really want to do this." She couldn't let him even if he did.

"I don't even know what I want anymore..." he told her, holding her even tighter against him so every bit of muscle could be felt, including his racing heartbeat.

"Stop. Please," she begged him, still trying to get away from him. He was far stronger than she was, however, and she wasn't having any luck.

".....I'm sorry," he murmured in her ear, after trailing a few light kisses down her jaw. His grip loosened slightly. 'I don't know what I'm doing..."

"Zuko, stop, you can't do this, you're not allowed--" She squirmed away from his lips, hating the fact that she could hear fright and tears in her voice.

He had stopped for the most part, now only holding her. Biting his lip, he rested his forehead against her shoulder for a moment. "...Why aren't you fighting me?"

"Please let me go," she said again, deliberately ignoring the question.

"Not until you answer me," Zuko told her, his tone a little firmer and less desperate.

"I am fighting you. Let me go." She pushed against his chest again.

"I know you better than that," he replied softly. "You're not."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"...You might have to..." He hugged her again.

"I don't want to turn this into another fight." Tears had started escaping her eyes without her realising it was even happening. "Zuko, please, let me go." She struggled to get some leverage against him.

"No... Don't.... Don't cry.... Shhhh....." he murmured and without even really noticing what he was doing, he kissed her. It was only for a second, and he pulled back, looking terrified.

Ginny yelped and wrenched herself away from him, stumbling backward several steps. A hand flew up to cover her mouth as she began crying in earnest, fear completely overwhelming her.

He turned away from her. "...I'd better go... Before I fuck up anymore...."

"Oh god, oh god oh god," she whispered to herself, only half-hearing him. At some distant level she realised that she was shaking, and not breathing properly, and probably that meant she was going into shock, but just now she was too scared to be overly concerned with it.

He could hear her breathing - like something about to die. Against his better judgement he turned around and grabbed her. "...You're all right. You're fine."

"No. He'll kill you, oh god, he'll kill you, oh god oh god..." She could feel her legs trying to give out from underneath her.

He sat down and pulled her onto his lap. "No. He won't. It's all right." His tone was reassuring, showing he had full confidence that nothing was going to happen.

"No, no," she sobbed, scrambling off his lap and crawling backwards away from him.

"I'll be fine," he assured her. "Really."

"Goddammit what is your problem?!" she screamed at him suddenly.

"I don't have a problem," he replied sharply.

"Bullshit," she snarled. "This is your fault, dammit, Zuko!"

"Maybe you are!" He snapped, glaring at her.

"What?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I don't give up on things all that easily," he told her. "--if at all. If I did I would've have spent over three fucking years working my ass off to get my father's approval to return home. After all the shit those children put me through, do you think, if I were someone who gave up easily, that I would still be sticking it out to help them? No. What makes you think we're any different?"

"...What the hell does that have to do with anything?" she demanded. "We're talking about how you probably just got yourself killed and I'm asking you what the fuck is your damned problem!"

"I'm not going to die," he informed her, as if he knew this all along. "And even if I did, it wouldn't be for long... You forget, there are different forces in my world. " He grabbed her wrist and drew her in close, pinning her hand behind her back. "There are several things I fear. Your pathetic husband and his magic powers aren't one of them. There are only two people who could end me and it would be with honor, and he isn't in that list either." His voice grew cold. "Have you forgotten I still feel something for you? I don't know why, considering Mai is the greatest woman ever born in history, but I do. I've been waiting for you to slip up. I know you well enough to know your limits and self control. And hey, if you did...let go. I'd rather it be with someone who really gives a damn about you than some pathetic whelp you pick up just because he thinks you're pretty. "

Ginny instinctively leaned away from him as he dragged her close. "I-- Zuko..." she began, and then trailed off, realising she had no idea how to respond. The anger was draining out of her quickly -- she was really only angry because she was scared for him, she knew -- and now she was just confused. She couldn't understand why he still felt anything for her at all after what she'd done to him. His little speech about Light wasn't helping, either; she knew her husband loved her, but Zuko knew how to prey on her moments of doubt. And what did he mean, 'let go'?

"You're starting to think poorly of yourself, aren't you? That you aren't as pretty as you were before? Only an idiot would believe that..." His nails dug into her wrist. "I know you. Few things hold your liking for long. It won't be much longer before you go utterly stir-crazy and seek something else. Why I should I allow the bastard to have any more bounties on other people? His biggest threat, when it comes to you, should be me. So, why not? I've got nothing to lose. Mai's too busy with the drooling little things to consider a real relationship. And there's no way in hell I'd go for one of those kids again. You may think low of my intelligence, but I'm not that dense. And wouldn't you like a small thrill? A little bit of danger?" His voice lowered as he neared her ear. "Or are you too much of a good little girl now? Nothing more than a wispy little damsel?"

"I am not going to cheat on my husband while I am pregnant with his child," she snapped, glaring at him.

"Do you really think he cares about that?" Zuko laughed darkly. "He only wants to kill me because he doesn't like to lose. I'm a threat because you're still feeling guilty and that is because you still care. And how can you be so sure he's not going around behind your back? He does spend and awfully long time at that job of his. How do you know he doesn't make a pit stop or two on his way home? He does have a thing for certain kinds of boys... I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he was doing something of the sort right now."

"I've already ruined one relationship with a man I loved, I'm not doing it again," she said, her voice icy. She didn't need to defend her husband to Zuko; she trusted him, and that was really all that mattered.

"You wouldn't be ruining it per say..." He smirked. "I know my mother had another man....most likely my uncle... and my father didn't care because he didn't know. He was busy. But...she was happy..." His voice faltered a little at the mentioning of his mother, remembering that her banishment was his fault. "I can give you things you want. I'm not a kid anymore. I've changed. I'm better."

"Yes, you are," she agreed seriously. "Until you go and do something like tell me to cheat on my husband with you!" The last words were screamed in his face.

He blinked at her, looking unfazed. "You do realize yelling lost its effect on me, right? Not to mention we're kinda out in the open... Don't make me kiss you again to shut you up."

Ginny shook her head sadly. "And you wonder why I never see you anymore. You keep pulling shite like this."

"Not always," he smirked. "Only when I like you."

"I am really not in the mood for you to try to be funny right now," she said quietly.

His grip on her changed from hostile to comforting as he pulled her into a partial hug. "You want me to make you some tea?"

"At the moment I don't much like you, actually," she said, her voice still calm.

"Fine," he sighed, letting go of her. "Whatever... Just...forget it, okay? I'm an idiot."

She stepped back out of his reach, before he could change his mind and grab her again. "Yes, you are," she agreed. "I came here so we could stop fighting. I want you to be my friend. But until you stop... doing things like this, that can't happen."

"You can't blame a guy for trying, only if he succeeds or fails," he shrugged, feigning nonchalance to cover up his bitterness.

"Yes I can," she disagreed. "You lost your right to try anything with me a long time ago."

He let out a low, brief laugh. "Heh. I'd like to think I've got more of a right than anyone else. Like I said before...just forget it."

She narrowed her eyes. "Like you said before, what?"

"Forget it!" he snapped, clenching his fist. A small burst of flame came off his hand.

Ginny didn't respond, just raised an eyebrow at him as if to say, Oh, really.

"You won't even admit that you still want me," he snarled. "You're not that hard to read. Thinking and doing are completely different things. If I acted on everything I thought and felt you and a lot of other people would be in a lot worse shape. If you can't even admit it, how the hell do you expect me to get over it?"

"You're wrong," she said, shaking her head. "Yes, I think you're attractive. That doesn't mean anything, Zuko. You can think someone's attractive without desiring them. You keep talking about how you don't want to lose me," she continued, folding her arms. "How you still want to be my friend. You get mad at me because we hardly ever talk anymore. But every time I see you, you do something to make me wonder why I keep trying. What am I supposed to do, Zuko?"

"I don't know!" He lashed out, sending a streak of red fire before turning his back to her.

Tired of his temper, she flicked her wand and silently cast a shielding spell. The flame flickered out uselessly against it as she sighed and said, "Look, Zuko. I'm just trying to get a straight answer out of you, here."

"I don't know what else to say to you," he said quietly.

"You haven't said anything helpful!" She threw her arms into the air in exasperation. "All you've done is shout and try to get me to cheat on my husband and then throw fire at me." She dropped her hands to her hips and glared at him.

"I already told you what I think and how I feel," he snapped, looking over his shoulder to glare back at her. "What more do you want?"

"...I want to know if we even can be friends anymore," she said after a moment.

"..." He was silent for a minute, refusing to look at her. "...Yes. We can."

"But not if you keep doing this," she said. She hated that she was having to make conditions on her friendship with him, but...

"Whatever," he sighed.

"I'm serious, Zuko."'

He shrugged. "I know."

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"I mean it. I can't--" She closed her eyes, a pained expression crossing her face. "I love my husband," she said finally. "More than anything. The only thing I've ever wanted out of life is to have my own family, with someone who loves me... and I'm finally there. If anything happened to ruin that..." She trailed off. "I don't think I could handle it."

"...Fine," he sighed, still not looking at her.

"Please tell me you understand," she said softly.

"I do," he nodded.

"Good." She chewed on her lip for a moment. "I'm going home," she added. "Please don't make me regret this."

"You won't. Have fun with that," he quipped, then leapt on top of the swingset and perched there, looking morbid.

Ginny stood watching him for a moment. Despite his promises, she still, somehow, felt worried. After a moment she sighed. "See you later, love," she said, and Disapparated.