Your troubles are only beginning...
The following utilizes summary, and vagueness to protect the identities of the innocent.
The other day a man came by my house. He was expected and he had a look at my basement mentioned some things that needed to be worked out and left. Later that day, an unexpected visitor came. He said he was with the city, and wanted to look around.
Now I'm not generally one to interfere with the law when it knocks on my door, and I reckoned it was just follow-up to the prior look around. So I showed him around, confident that he'd let me know about anything that ought to be worked out, just as the first man had, and he did. Much like the other man, he voiced a couple of things I would need to relay to the contractor working on my house, however, this man also required something from me: I would be required to get a renter's license.*
Of course that's no problem to me. He didn't give me any trouble, and I won't give him any trouble. I can take care of the paperwork and get that cleared up provided some transportation (Afterall, I helped buy a house instead of getting a car.). The main problem with it is the need to hold all work done to the house to a different sort of code. Thus, working through the issues dealing with the work on the house took priority.
Now, as I worked though that mess hoping dearly that I don't have to sacrifice the work already completed on the basement, I received an email announcing that a friend facebook messaged me. "Oh. I remembered to invite her to the party right? *Mental check* Yep. It's probably something related to that." After talking to my parents and leaving the contractor a message, I settled to read my messages and read something unrelated. To my chagrin, it's about the issue at-hand. She wants to know if it's true that I don't have a renter's license. Indeed, I reply, as far as the law is concerned I'm just having people over, and just happen to have legal agreements with them that they'll pay me for shelter and use of the premises. Isn't that funny, I think to myself weakly, the two are considered unrelated, so long as I'm not licensed to rent. I find another site to blow off some stress. (Desktop Tower Defense is highly recommended.)
The next day I get her reply. The night before, one of my escapist distractions was interrupted by the contractor's return call: We had talked it out and he'd agreed to talk to the housing official and and really nip the issues in the butt. That was a real load off. This was not. I had been very short with her, not going into the details of the process, and the obvious need and intention to get a renter's license, choosing instead to make light of it. She's a friend, and thus knows me well enough to know I won't leave her without a place to stay this semester, right? My assumptions indeed appear to have made an ass out of me, and well... me, but allow me to continue. She doesn't like this, she says. She wonders if I was going to tell her, accuses me of withholding important information, and informs me between one or two lines that she considers this a complete breach of trust, and that she's worried her parent's and family will force her to reconsider.
At this point I'm a bit hurt, still somewhat stressed, and now a fair bit pissed. Prior to this point my house had reached a decent ninety-eight, some odd, percent chance of being her residence for the semester. With less than a one in fifty chance of her not living there, I had included her in all of my worst case scenarios, guaranteeing her a place to live. A lowered chance means I might need to find someone to fill her spot, if a different place for her is given precedence. This introduces all kinds of complications. Her having a backup habitation was always assumed, given her intelligence, but now I have to worry about the possibility of overbooking and turning someone away essentially on a dice roll. This kind of doubt and complication is exactly the kind of thing I try to avoid by not going into depth with someone with limited interaction potential** in the solution of a problem.
My housemate whom I've entrusted with some discourse on various housing related subjects insists that it was her duty as friend to inform our mutual friend of my problems in order to give her more time to find a back-up plan and as a friend, I should have, too. I might point out my notably biased opinion that this stance holds horribly insulting implications to said mutual friend, as she has made clear on numerous occasions that my house is not the only one on the block; assuming that she had no backups is nothing short of calling her carefree, and dimwitted. My position was that I prefer to get answers before I tell people with limited interaction potential** about a potential problem, and that telling her without complete information does more harm than good.
The opinions at odds above are a moot point since mutual friend in question was clearly offended. So I wrap it up by posing a question: Was my lapse in judgement truly worthy of a social gut-jabbing, sorely in need of the proverbial make-over, or was I merely irresponsible, with mutual trust mended through patience?
~~Some Notes:
*: Apparently, you don't even need to collect rent for it to be considered a rental. If they're not in your family, and they're staying in a house you own, then it's a rental. This distinction can occur simultaneously with the owner occupied condition, and in such a case, stacks on the owner occupied regulations (in each case, the more restrictive taking priority), rather than being replaced by them as previously believed.
**: Someone who has very little input in the result, when presented with a problem, has very few options: s/he may either jump ship (get away from anything relating to the problem), attempt to increase his|her level of input (Sometimes, this simply isn't possible. At other times it's known as seizing the reigns of one's destiny. Still others resolve to making an arse of oneself and reaching down a hole and falling head-first. All in all, results vary), allow those with more influence on the outcome to do what they are currently doing to alleviate the problem (and perhaps even cheer them along), and|or worry about the result. The former two, and latter-most are most common, and tend to yield the lowest rates of success, and I should know.
The other day a man came by my house. He was expected and he had a look at my basement mentioned some things that needed to be worked out and left. Later that day, an unexpected visitor came. He said he was with the city, and wanted to look around.
Now I'm not generally one to interfere with the law when it knocks on my door, and I reckoned it was just follow-up to the prior look around. So I showed him around, confident that he'd let me know about anything that ought to be worked out, just as the first man had, and he did. Much like the other man, he voiced a couple of things I would need to relay to the contractor working on my house, however, this man also required something from me: I would be required to get a renter's license.*
Of course that's no problem to me. He didn't give me any trouble, and I won't give him any trouble. I can take care of the paperwork and get that cleared up provided some transportation (Afterall, I helped buy a house instead of getting a car.). The main problem with it is the need to hold all work done to the house to a different sort of code. Thus, working through the issues dealing with the work on the house took priority.
Now, as I worked though that mess hoping dearly that I don't have to sacrifice the work already completed on the basement, I received an email announcing that a friend facebook messaged me. "Oh. I remembered to invite her to the party right? *Mental check* Yep. It's probably something related to that." After talking to my parents and leaving the contractor a message, I settled to read my messages and read something unrelated. To my chagrin, it's about the issue at-hand. She wants to know if it's true that I don't have a renter's license. Indeed, I reply, as far as the law is concerned I'm just having people over, and just happen to have legal agreements with them that they'll pay me for shelter and use of the premises. Isn't that funny, I think to myself weakly, the two are considered unrelated, so long as I'm not licensed to rent. I find another site to blow off some stress. (Desktop Tower Defense is highly recommended.)
The next day I get her reply. The night before, one of my escapist distractions was interrupted by the contractor's return call: We had talked it out and he'd agreed to talk to the housing official and and really nip the issues in the butt. That was a real load off. This was not. I had been very short with her, not going into the details of the process, and the obvious need and intention to get a renter's license, choosing instead to make light of it. She's a friend, and thus knows me well enough to know I won't leave her without a place to stay this semester, right? My assumptions indeed appear to have made an ass out of me, and well... me, but allow me to continue. She doesn't like this, she says. She wonders if I was going to tell her, accuses me of withholding important information, and informs me between one or two lines that she considers this a complete breach of trust, and that she's worried her parent's and family will force her to reconsider.
At this point I'm a bit hurt, still somewhat stressed, and now a fair bit pissed. Prior to this point my house had reached a decent ninety-eight, some odd, percent chance of being her residence for the semester. With less than a one in fifty chance of her not living there, I had included her in all of my worst case scenarios, guaranteeing her a place to live. A lowered chance means I might need to find someone to fill her spot, if a different place for her is given precedence. This introduces all kinds of complications. Her having a backup habitation was always assumed, given her intelligence, but now I have to worry about the possibility of overbooking and turning someone away essentially on a dice roll. This kind of doubt and complication is exactly the kind of thing I try to avoid by not going into depth with someone with limited interaction potential** in the solution of a problem.
My housemate whom I've entrusted with some discourse on various housing related subjects insists that it was her duty as friend to inform our mutual friend of my problems in order to give her more time to find a back-up plan and as a friend, I should have, too. I might point out my notably biased opinion that this stance holds horribly insulting implications to said mutual friend, as she has made clear on numerous occasions that my house is not the only one on the block; assuming that she had no backups is nothing short of calling her carefree, and dimwitted. My position was that I prefer to get answers before I tell people with limited interaction potential** about a potential problem, and that telling her without complete information does more harm than good.
The opinions at odds above are a moot point since mutual friend in question was clearly offended. So I wrap it up by posing a question: Was my lapse in judgement truly worthy of a social gut-jabbing, sorely in need of the proverbial make-over, or was I merely irresponsible, with mutual trust mended through patience?
~~Some Notes:
*: Apparently, you don't even need to collect rent for it to be considered a rental. If they're not in your family, and they're staying in a house you own, then it's a rental. This distinction can occur simultaneously with the owner occupied condition, and in such a case, stacks on the owner occupied regulations (in each case, the more restrictive taking priority), rather than being replaced by them as previously believed.
**: Someone who has very little input in the result, when presented with a problem, has very few options: s/he may either jump ship (get away from anything relating to the problem), attempt to increase his|her level of input (Sometimes, this simply isn't possible. At other times it's known as seizing the reigns of one's destiny. Still others resolve to making an arse of oneself and reaching down a hole and falling head-first. All in all, results vary), allow those with more influence on the outcome to do what they are currently doing to alleviate the problem (and perhaps even cheer them along), and|or worry about the result. The former two, and latter-most are most common, and tend to yield the lowest rates of success, and I should know.