[ litter me with small awarenesses just to wake me up. ]

[hey_valentine]

Life's kind of rough, right now. For starters, & I know this is trivial: Bo didn't win American Idol, & now Carrie's going to release a single that Bo did SO MUCH BETTER WITH, OKAY. On top of this, waking up at seven & then playing every kind of tag imaginable with a bunch of adults today in an overheated gym was sort of trying, as non-sexual

Comments

[cercaluna]

Oh, you - I'm sorry (again), you know, and a little bit sadder for Graham and your mother. I want to be able to say it'll all be okay, or something reassuring, but all I can offer is a better spring, more hope, and the fact that I love you and will always, you know that. Because in a day, now, it'll be May 28, and soon it'll feel like spring for real, maybe even with heat lightning, and meanwhile, I love you so much. Sleep well, darling, and I'll talk to you again soon.

[hey_valentine]

I love you, darling, so much. I spent yesterday waiting, hoping that I'd at least get to talk to you after all of it; when I finally did, everything felt about to be okay again, at least. Thank you, for being you & for being here in whatever ways you can, always.

[cercaluna]

Also, you know that just having you here is helping your mom, right? I'm sure it helps to have you home & closer to her. Like, literally, and metaphorically too. I love you.

[ohme_ohmy]

aw sweetie. I don't know what to say. Our family has had it's share of pet losses though, and so I know how you feel. Did you ever see Garden State? The scene in the backyard where she has a grave yard for all her pets? That's what I think of now whenever I think of an animal that dies.

I love you. ♥

[hey_valentine]

I'm thinking of showing my mom that movie, or that scene, at least, because she seems ready to cry each time she climbs the stairs & Graham isn't following right behind her, the way he used to.
I love you, too, Sarah; it'll be so good to see you again.

[ohme_ohmy]

awww, I want my mom to watch the movie as well. Do you know the exact dates yet for when you're gonna be down here?? :) :) :)

[hey_valentine]

July 3-9, I'm almost positive. I'm just not sure which day we're leaving.

[razorw]

*great big hugs*. Sorry to hear about the dog. I hope your mother finds her closure though. There's something about dogs that say family more than anything, at least for me too. *extra squeeze* --Ray

[hey_valentine]

*clings* She'll be okay; she's already talking about wanting to maybe get another dog, although I don't know how much of that is just to make the house feel less empty, you know?
Thank you for this; now I'm even more glad that you're here. <3

[serialadykiller]

i'm sorry about graham---but i'm surprised that you're so heartbroken over him just because of the way you used to talk about/treat him.

[hey_valentine]

I don't even know what to say to this, Kel. True, I've never been a dog person, but I'm the one who pleaded with my parents to get him in the first place & named him after my favorite cereal & grew up with him, anyway, even if I wasn't always thrilled about it. Thirteen years of having such an obvious presence around would make anyone feel a bit unmoored upon saying goodbye, I would think, especially when my mother seems so lost without him.
I never mentioned the word "heartbroken", but I'm grieving a little bit here, okay? I didn't expect that to be such a shock.

[serialadykiller]

i don't know.. i was just thinking about how you said once that you shouldn't hold someone to a higher regard after s/he is gone than what you did during his/her life.

[hey_valentine]

True, but there are things you can't realize until after death, I think. I never counted on this house feeling so empty, I never appreciated how close my mother was to Graham, & I didn't love him the way I should have until four hours before we put him to sleep.
If you want to throw my words from years ago back at me, then, by all means, go ahead. I'm just curious as to why you're doing it now, is all.

[butterflyinlove]

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about Graham, I had no idea. I'm sorry I didn't. If you need to talk, then feel free to give me a call. I miss y'all so much. Hope all is well other than that.

[hey_valentine]

There's absolutely nothing for you to be sorry about, babe; you weren't to know. & it was for the best, really, as he was getting old, & apparently had cancer. This way was better than coming home to find him dying, you know?
I miss you, too, & am intent on seeing you sometime this summer, just you wait. Hope you're having a better time of it now, Ash; I love you.

[butterflyinlove]

Other than being exhausted, I'm okay. I can't wait to see you though!