Done
After all the chaos of the last few weeks, I'm feeling rather fried.
For some reason, it's not the constant running around that bothers me - I mean, it kinda is, and it kinda isn't. I can take a bunch of running around if I know in advance what I've gotten myself into. A schedule that's jam-packed? I'm on it, dude. But it has to come pre-structured.
My problem comes in when I have to do a lot of running around, and there's no real plan beforehand. I have a hard time with this because I'm constantly thinking about how to structure my time most effectively (ha! right?) and the planning of the doing is what prevents me, to a large extent, from doing. And then the doing falls by the wayside and I'm totally paralyzed. I'm someone who needs structure and routine and a certain amount of predictability. Failing that, I feel crazy.
So in times of flux, I'm a basket case.
As for further runic ruminations, now that the schoolwork is done for a week or two, I've changed up my computer desktop bindrune. For now it's the "fulfillment" bindrune. Tonight I made it into a piece of flair on Facebook and sent it off to some of my buddies on there. Honestly, my main motivation at this point is just to be happy. I want to savor the fun of the Spring, and hopefully segue that into some fun for the summer. But even if no fun actually occurs, the feeling of fulfillment - ever elusive, but so rewarding - is what I'm after. Perhaps all it takes is learning to be happy in the present moment, regardless of circumstances. An interesting and worthwhile challenge.
For some reason, it's not the constant running around that bothers me - I mean, it kinda is, and it kinda isn't. I can take a bunch of running around if I know in advance what I've gotten myself into. A schedule that's jam-packed? I'm on it, dude. But it has to come pre-structured.
My problem comes in when I have to do a lot of running around, and there's no real plan beforehand. I have a hard time with this because I'm constantly thinking about how to structure my time most effectively (ha! right?) and the planning of the doing is what prevents me, to a large extent, from doing. And then the doing falls by the wayside and I'm totally paralyzed. I'm someone who needs structure and routine and a certain amount of predictability. Failing that, I feel crazy.
So in times of flux, I'm a basket case.
As for further runic ruminations, now that the schoolwork is done for a week or two, I've changed up my computer desktop bindrune. For now it's the "fulfillment" bindrune. Tonight I made it into a piece of flair on Facebook and sent it off to some of my buddies on there. Honestly, my main motivation at this point is just to be happy. I want to savor the fun of the Spring, and hopefully segue that into some fun for the summer. But even if no fun actually occurs, the feeling of fulfillment - ever elusive, but so rewarding - is what I'm after. Perhaps all it takes is learning to be happy in the present moment, regardless of circumstances. An interesting and worthwhile challenge.