KEVRON
Lil thangs I've written for Kevron Fest '09
clowns, nuts, dranks, and body hair (PRE-GAY 4 EACH OTHER)
At some after party for some premiere or other, Zac doesn't quite remember what for, he learns that Kevin has an intense fear of clowns.
"Why clowns?" Zac says.
"They try too hard," Kevin says. "Can you open this for me?"
Kevin hands Zac a pistachio inside a shell that doesn't have a very big or flexible opening. Zac tries to get his thumb nail in the little slit to pry the shell open, but it won't budge.
"Do you mind?" He asks, putting it up to his mouth. Kevin shakes his head, so Zac puts the nut in his mouth and cracks it open with his teeth. He tries not to touch the edible part with his mouth, but he figures if Kevin wants that specific pistachio that bad, he's not going to be deterred by a little saliva from someone else's mouth.
Kevin puts his hand out like he's accepting some beautiful treasure and Zac hands over the pistachio.
"Clowns aren't that scary," Zac says. "Just like, regular clowns. Obviously the ones that murder people are scary, but just like, the ones at the circus."
"This one time," Kevin says while he cracks open another pistachio, much more easily this time, "I was driving back home, and no paparazzi at all were following me."
Zac doesn't know how often paparazzi follow Kevin, if it's as much as they follow Zac or if it's hardly at all, but he lets Kevin have it.
"And I'm at a stop light, about to turn left, when I glance in my rearview mirror, and there's a clown driving behind me."
"No way," Zac says. Kevin's nut munching is making him want to munch nuts. He digs around in the dish of pistachios and gets a handful of them. He doesn't know whose hands have been in there besides Kevin's, but he doesn't really mind. He's facing the bar and his legs are starting to get cramped, being folded up on the stool, so he turns towards Kevin and crosses his legs. One of his knees brush against Kevin's leg, but Kevin doesn't pull his leg away.
"Yes, way," Kevin says. "I almost started to cry, I'm not even kidding. And he looked at me, like he knew. I had to call my mom and I was like, 'oh my gosh, what if he gets out?'"
"That's pretty deep," Zac laughs. "What if all our deepest fears were driving around behind us?"
"Oh, yeah?" Kevin says. "What would be driving behind you?"
"Nothing," Zac says.
"You're not afraid of anything?"
"I'd be afraid if you were driving behind me and crying on the phone and not paying attention to the road."
"Shut up," Kevin says. He licks his fingertips to get the nut salt off them. Zac does the same, because under his fingernails are starting to feel chapped from the salt.
"Have you had anything to drink?" Zac says.
Kevin shakes his head. He looks side to side shiftily and then leans in real close to whisper, like his mother is right behind him, "Should I?"
~*~
"I can't believe you're such a lightweight," Zac says, two drinks in Kevin later. "You don't look like you'd be a lightweight."
"Are you saying I'm fat?" Kevin says.
"No," Zac says. "You just have chest hair, that's all."
"You have chest hair," Kevin accuses.
"No, I don't really have any," Zac says.
"Get out," Kevin says. "Let me see."
Zac thinks about actually undoing his tie and a few buttons for Kevin to look at his chest before remembering they're surrounded by people in a public area.
"Let's get out of here first," Zac says.
~*~
"I'm gonna puke," Kevin says in Zac's car.
"You're not gonna puke," Zac says.
"I think I'm gonna puke," Kevin says.
"You only think you're gonna puke because you get all your information about drinking from the movies," Zac says. He stops at a red light and Kevin starts to unbuckle his seatbelt and unlocks his door to open it. Zac locks it again before Kevin figures out how to work the handle. He thought Kevin was only acting drunker than he was because he's never been drunk before, but now he's not so sure.
"Are you gonna prove to me that you're hairless or not?" Kevin says.
"Are you gonna stop trying to escape?" Zac says.
"No," Kevin says. The car starts dinging irritatingly because the passenger does not have his seatbelt buckled.
"Put your seatbelt back on," Zac says.
"The dinging isn't always true," Kevin says, clicking his belt back in place. "One time I had this huuuge potted plant in my passenger seat and it kept dinging. I was like, it's not even a person! What do I care if this huge plant flies through the windshield?"
"Well, I'd care if you went flying through the windshield, wouldn't I?" Zac says.
"You would?" Kevin says, like he can't believe it.
"Yeah."
~*~
Zac finds Kevin's hotel, gets Kevin inside, apologizes for Kevin when he makes an embarrassing statement in an elevator full of people ("I should've had more drinks! There are starving children in Africa who don't have any drinks!"), pats down a squirming, giggling Kevin to find his room key, and gets Kevin to sit down on the bed in a relatively efficient manner.
"Take off your shoes," Zac says. He's standing above Kevin with his arms crossed, looking down at him, at the way his cheeks are flushed and his forehead is shiny.
Kevin steps on his heel of his right shoe with his left foot until he gets the shoe off and then does the same thing for his left shoe. It takes a while. Zac does the same thing in half the time and sits down next to Kevin on the hotel bed to wait.
"Hey, you promised," Kevin says.
"What did I promise?" Zac says.
Kevin moves his hands towards Zac's throat like he's going to strangle him, but he lands on the knot of Zac's tie instead. It takes him a long time to loosen it, but Zac doesn't help him. He wants Kevin to do it.
"Let me see," Kevin says.
Zac unbuttons the first couple buttons on his shirt while Kevin stares at his fingers like the buttons are swirling and hypnotizing him.
"See," Zac says. "No chest hair."
Kevin runs his hand along the hairless smoothness of Zac's chest to feel for himself.
"It seems legit," Kevin nods. He pushes at Zac until Zac lies down and Kevin lies down on top of him, using the exposed skin of his chest as a pillow.
"I'm glad you think so," Zac says. He runs his fingers through the back of Kevin's hair, scritching his scalp a little. His curly hair feels soft against Zac's body and his hand, like it was freshly cut for tonight.
Kevin hums and turns his head ever so slightly and presses a kiss to Zac's collarbone. He falls asleep at the exact same moment, like Zac's skin has magical sleeping powder in it. Zac falls asleep with the feeling of Kevin's lips on his chest and Kevin's hair under his palm.
kevin washing zac's hair (ESTAB RELAYSH)
"When was the last time you showered?" Kevin says one afternoon, when they're being vegetables. Kevin likes to be a vegetable sometimes, especially on his time off, but he likes to think of himself as a freshly picked and peeled carrot: refreshed, refreshing, and good for your eyes. Zac, on the other hand, likes to be a potato that's rotting in the garbage.
"I dunno," Zac says. He scratches his armpit and looks at his fingers like he can gauge when the last time he bathed was by the amount of funk coming from them.
"Wrong answer," Kevin says. "Your hair looks like it got gum stuck in it so you put mayonnaise and peanut butter in it to get the gum out but it didn't work so you just left it all in there."
"That's... really specific," Zac says.
"Well," Kevin says, gesturing at Zac's smelly, yet still beautiful body. "You've been wearing a Snuggie for a week."
"You said you liked my Snuggie," Zac says.
"I like you," Kevin says, ruffling Zac's oily hair. It's not as gross as it looks, Kevin thinks. It's still soft, but soft like a dirty puppy with matted knots in its fur.
"I don't want to stand there and shower," Zac whines. He puts his arms in his Snuggie's sleeves more firmly.
"Let me at least wash your hair," Kevin pleads.
"The bathroom is so far away."
"We can do it in the sink, since you're being such a baby about it."
"I am not!" Zac says, pulling his Snuggie completely over his head to hide.
"Do you have some Johnson & Johnson No More Tears in your house for the baby?" Kevin says. He pokes at the blanket in various places to tickle Zac. Zac kicks out blindly and ends up spilling an old can of soda that was sitting on the coffee stable on the bottom of his Snuggie.
Zac comes out of hiding and gazes sadly at the mess he's made.
"Can I wash the Snuggie, too?" Kevin says hopefully. The Snuggie smells like Zac's old sweat, like the inside of Zac's baseball caps. Kevin doesn't mind the smell, but there are also a lot of stains on both the inside and the outside of the blanket from the various times Zac invited Kevin to join him under it.
"Hair first," Zac says. "Maybe Snuggie later."
~*~
Kevin runs upstairs and grabs the shampoo and comb Zac uses. When he comes back, Zac is standing in the kitchen in his boxers, backlit by sunbeams coming in through the kitchen window. He puts his hands on his hips to bend backwards to crack his back, and he lets out a pleased breath when his spine pops.
"Bend over the sink," Kevin instructs.
Zac does as he's told only after waggling his eyebrows for a few seconds.
Kevin turns the handles on the faucet until the water is warm. He runs his palm all the way up from Zac's tailbone to the back of his neck, and then gently pushes Zac's head closer into the sink. Zac hums, pleased. He takes the hose sink out and gently runs his fingers through Zac's hair while he gets it wet.
"This feels nice," Zac says. He sounds very deeply relaxed, like he did on his third day of couch potato-ing.
"Yes, being clean feels nice," Kevin says. He sets the hose down for a second to fill his palm up with shampoo.
"No, I mean you feel nice," Zac says.
"Oh," Kevin says.
He rubs the shampoo over Zac's hair and then sets all his fingertips against Zac's scalp to scrub. Zac moans softly, and his body and knees loosen up so much he's barely even standing anymore.
Kevin rinses the shampoo from Zac's head very slowly and thoroughly. When he turns the faucet off, Zac flings his head back so water splashes everywhere behind him. Kevin forgot to grab a towel, so he uses the dishtowel hanging on the fridge door to pat Zac's hair dry.
Zac stands still while Kevin combs the tangles out of his hair. Kevin cups Zac's face in one hand and combs Zac's hair back, away from his face. The comb gets stuck on a snarl.
"Ah," Zac groans, his eyes squinting shut.
"Sorry," Kevin says. He finishes combing and then kisses Zac's forehead to apologize for pulling his hair.
Zac's face is flushed and his eyelashes and eyebrows are wet from the warm water. He wraps his arms around Kevin's neck and kisses him on the lips.
"Let's get under the Snuggie," Zac says.
Kevin sighs, but he can't pass over dirty Snuggie time with Zac, even while the Snuggie itself is very dirty, so he joins Zac under the covers on the couch and touches his clean hair while they kiss and get naked.
clowns, nuts, dranks, and body hair (PRE-GAY 4 EACH OTHER)
At some after party for some premiere or other, Zac doesn't quite remember what for, he learns that Kevin has an intense fear of clowns.
"Why clowns?" Zac says.
"They try too hard," Kevin says. "Can you open this for me?"
Kevin hands Zac a pistachio inside a shell that doesn't have a very big or flexible opening. Zac tries to get his thumb nail in the little slit to pry the shell open, but it won't budge.
"Do you mind?" He asks, putting it up to his mouth. Kevin shakes his head, so Zac puts the nut in his mouth and cracks it open with his teeth. He tries not to touch the edible part with his mouth, but he figures if Kevin wants that specific pistachio that bad, he's not going to be deterred by a little saliva from someone else's mouth.
Kevin puts his hand out like he's accepting some beautiful treasure and Zac hands over the pistachio.
"Clowns aren't that scary," Zac says. "Just like, regular clowns. Obviously the ones that murder people are scary, but just like, the ones at the circus."
"This one time," Kevin says while he cracks open another pistachio, much more easily this time, "I was driving back home, and no paparazzi at all were following me."
Zac doesn't know how often paparazzi follow Kevin, if it's as much as they follow Zac or if it's hardly at all, but he lets Kevin have it.
"And I'm at a stop light, about to turn left, when I glance in my rearview mirror, and there's a clown driving behind me."
"No way," Zac says. Kevin's nut munching is making him want to munch nuts. He digs around in the dish of pistachios and gets a handful of them. He doesn't know whose hands have been in there besides Kevin's, but he doesn't really mind. He's facing the bar and his legs are starting to get cramped, being folded up on the stool, so he turns towards Kevin and crosses his legs. One of his knees brush against Kevin's leg, but Kevin doesn't pull his leg away.
"Yes, way," Kevin says. "I almost started to cry, I'm not even kidding. And he looked at me, like he knew. I had to call my mom and I was like, 'oh my gosh, what if he gets out?'"
"That's pretty deep," Zac laughs. "What if all our deepest fears were driving around behind us?"
"Oh, yeah?" Kevin says. "What would be driving behind you?"
"Nothing," Zac says.
"You're not afraid of anything?"
"I'd be afraid if you were driving behind me and crying on the phone and not paying attention to the road."
"Shut up," Kevin says. He licks his fingertips to get the nut salt off them. Zac does the same, because under his fingernails are starting to feel chapped from the salt.
"Have you had anything to drink?" Zac says.
Kevin shakes his head. He looks side to side shiftily and then leans in real close to whisper, like his mother is right behind him, "Should I?"
~*~
"I can't believe you're such a lightweight," Zac says, two drinks in Kevin later. "You don't look like you'd be a lightweight."
"Are you saying I'm fat?" Kevin says.
"No," Zac says. "You just have chest hair, that's all."
"You have chest hair," Kevin accuses.
"No, I don't really have any," Zac says.
"Get out," Kevin says. "Let me see."
Zac thinks about actually undoing his tie and a few buttons for Kevin to look at his chest before remembering they're surrounded by people in a public area.
"Let's get out of here first," Zac says.
~*~
"I'm gonna puke," Kevin says in Zac's car.
"You're not gonna puke," Zac says.
"I think I'm gonna puke," Kevin says.
"You only think you're gonna puke because you get all your information about drinking from the movies," Zac says. He stops at a red light and Kevin starts to unbuckle his seatbelt and unlocks his door to open it. Zac locks it again before Kevin figures out how to work the handle. He thought Kevin was only acting drunker than he was because he's never been drunk before, but now he's not so sure.
"Are you gonna prove to me that you're hairless or not?" Kevin says.
"Are you gonna stop trying to escape?" Zac says.
"No," Kevin says. The car starts dinging irritatingly because the passenger does not have his seatbelt buckled.
"Put your seatbelt back on," Zac says.
"The dinging isn't always true," Kevin says, clicking his belt back in place. "One time I had this huuuge potted plant in my passenger seat and it kept dinging. I was like, it's not even a person! What do I care if this huge plant flies through the windshield?"
"Well, I'd care if you went flying through the windshield, wouldn't I?" Zac says.
"You would?" Kevin says, like he can't believe it.
"Yeah."
~*~
Zac finds Kevin's hotel, gets Kevin inside, apologizes for Kevin when he makes an embarrassing statement in an elevator full of people ("I should've had more drinks! There are starving children in Africa who don't have any drinks!"), pats down a squirming, giggling Kevin to find his room key, and gets Kevin to sit down on the bed in a relatively efficient manner.
"Take off your shoes," Zac says. He's standing above Kevin with his arms crossed, looking down at him, at the way his cheeks are flushed and his forehead is shiny.
Kevin steps on his heel of his right shoe with his left foot until he gets the shoe off and then does the same thing for his left shoe. It takes a while. Zac does the same thing in half the time and sits down next to Kevin on the hotel bed to wait.
"Hey, you promised," Kevin says.
"What did I promise?" Zac says.
Kevin moves his hands towards Zac's throat like he's going to strangle him, but he lands on the knot of Zac's tie instead. It takes him a long time to loosen it, but Zac doesn't help him. He wants Kevin to do it.
"Let me see," Kevin says.
Zac unbuttons the first couple buttons on his shirt while Kevin stares at his fingers like the buttons are swirling and hypnotizing him.
"See," Zac says. "No chest hair."
Kevin runs his hand along the hairless smoothness of Zac's chest to feel for himself.
"It seems legit," Kevin nods. He pushes at Zac until Zac lies down and Kevin lies down on top of him, using the exposed skin of his chest as a pillow.
"I'm glad you think so," Zac says. He runs his fingers through the back of Kevin's hair, scritching his scalp a little. His curly hair feels soft against Zac's body and his hand, like it was freshly cut for tonight.
Kevin hums and turns his head ever so slightly and presses a kiss to Zac's collarbone. He falls asleep at the exact same moment, like Zac's skin has magical sleeping powder in it. Zac falls asleep with the feeling of Kevin's lips on his chest and Kevin's hair under his palm.
kevin washing zac's hair (ESTAB RELAYSH)
"When was the last time you showered?" Kevin says one afternoon, when they're being vegetables. Kevin likes to be a vegetable sometimes, especially on his time off, but he likes to think of himself as a freshly picked and peeled carrot: refreshed, refreshing, and good for your eyes. Zac, on the other hand, likes to be a potato that's rotting in the garbage.
"I dunno," Zac says. He scratches his armpit and looks at his fingers like he can gauge when the last time he bathed was by the amount of funk coming from them.
"Wrong answer," Kevin says. "Your hair looks like it got gum stuck in it so you put mayonnaise and peanut butter in it to get the gum out but it didn't work so you just left it all in there."
"That's... really specific," Zac says.
"Well," Kevin says, gesturing at Zac's smelly, yet still beautiful body. "You've been wearing a Snuggie for a week."
"You said you liked my Snuggie," Zac says.
"I like you," Kevin says, ruffling Zac's oily hair. It's not as gross as it looks, Kevin thinks. It's still soft, but soft like a dirty puppy with matted knots in its fur.
"I don't want to stand there and shower," Zac whines. He puts his arms in his Snuggie's sleeves more firmly.
"Let me at least wash your hair," Kevin pleads.
"The bathroom is so far away."
"We can do it in the sink, since you're being such a baby about it."
"I am not!" Zac says, pulling his Snuggie completely over his head to hide.
"Do you have some Johnson & Johnson No More Tears in your house for the baby?" Kevin says. He pokes at the blanket in various places to tickle Zac. Zac kicks out blindly and ends up spilling an old can of soda that was sitting on the coffee stable on the bottom of his Snuggie.
Zac comes out of hiding and gazes sadly at the mess he's made.
"Can I wash the Snuggie, too?" Kevin says hopefully. The Snuggie smells like Zac's old sweat, like the inside of Zac's baseball caps. Kevin doesn't mind the smell, but there are also a lot of stains on both the inside and the outside of the blanket from the various times Zac invited Kevin to join him under it.
"Hair first," Zac says. "Maybe Snuggie later."
~*~
Kevin runs upstairs and grabs the shampoo and comb Zac uses. When he comes back, Zac is standing in the kitchen in his boxers, backlit by sunbeams coming in through the kitchen window. He puts his hands on his hips to bend backwards to crack his back, and he lets out a pleased breath when his spine pops.
"Bend over the sink," Kevin instructs.
Zac does as he's told only after waggling his eyebrows for a few seconds.
Kevin turns the handles on the faucet until the water is warm. He runs his palm all the way up from Zac's tailbone to the back of his neck, and then gently pushes Zac's head closer into the sink. Zac hums, pleased. He takes the hose sink out and gently runs his fingers through Zac's hair while he gets it wet.
"This feels nice," Zac says. He sounds very deeply relaxed, like he did on his third day of couch potato-ing.
"Yes, being clean feels nice," Kevin says. He sets the hose down for a second to fill his palm up with shampoo.
"No, I mean you feel nice," Zac says.
"Oh," Kevin says.
He rubs the shampoo over Zac's hair and then sets all his fingertips against Zac's scalp to scrub. Zac moans softly, and his body and knees loosen up so much he's barely even standing anymore.
Kevin rinses the shampoo from Zac's head very slowly and thoroughly. When he turns the faucet off, Zac flings his head back so water splashes everywhere behind him. Kevin forgot to grab a towel, so he uses the dishtowel hanging on the fridge door to pat Zac's hair dry.
Zac stands still while Kevin combs the tangles out of his hair. Kevin cups Zac's face in one hand and combs Zac's hair back, away from his face. The comb gets stuck on a snarl.
"Ah," Zac groans, his eyes squinting shut.
"Sorry," Kevin says. He finishes combing and then kisses Zac's forehead to apologize for pulling his hair.
Zac's face is flushed and his eyelashes and eyebrows are wet from the warm water. He wraps his arms around Kevin's neck and kisses him on the lips.
"Let's get under the Snuggie," Zac says.
Kevin sighs, but he can't pass over dirty Snuggie time with Zac, even while the Snuggie itself is very dirty, so he joins Zac under the covers on the couch and touches his clean hair while they kiss and get naked.