Just bitching...
So, I write fanfiction. A lot. I have a fanfiction.net account. On one of my fanfics, someone anonymous, named themselves "Shaun" and left a review on every chapter :)
This story here, was meant to be angsty. Like, super angst. It's meant to be sad, not happy. I got tired of writing happy things. Anyway these are the reviews - edited to leave out the character names, cause, I don't want people knowing the fic XD
Chapter One -
Already a boozer, eh? The idea of ------- drinking is actually not bad and works out, but the chapter seems tilted specifically so that he is more or less ruined. Poorly done and not dramatic
Chapter Two -
Not dramatic as there seems to be no catalyst except jealousy- it seems as though you were reaching for something with ------.
There are ways to handle a slip into depression without a cause. This chapter does not do a good job in trying to convince me that in any way, shape, or form, that any of this makes sense.
Chapter Three -
Chapter has no purpose. You went out of your way to make the family disliked, outside of hte family, and you chose the poorest way to show it.
Chapter Four - Wildly OOC.
Chapter Five -
Cliche ridden. A big problem is you ruin one big strong point, that each chapter is written in first person with some decent character-centric styles, by screwing it with terrible cliches.
Chapter Six -
Cliche ridden. And that would be okay except for the -----, ------- and -------- parts. Amazing how any story involving the kids always seems to forget that others outside their class even exist. And add in the fact that this chapter mis-characterizes literally every crossdresser, transvestite, and transsexual that I have ever, ever known, and just wow.
Chapter Seven -
There seems to be no real point to this chapter beyond how shitty his parents are for no real reason. I don't get why they do it(major writing fail) and why he hasn't spoken to a counselor about his issues.
Chapter Eight -
Wow. Out of the blue and not even dramatic.
Chapter Nine -
Everyone in this town seems gay or bi or hell, if ------- fools them, bi even if they don't know it. The 'signs' here are weak and, generally, I'm not looking the fake-teenage vibe I get from the chapters.
Chapter Ten -
I've known people who have gone through this and will therefore award you half a point for the thought process that some have, and then I detract ten points for everything else here.
Chapter Eleven -
I knew how it would turn out the second the 'event' started, which is not a good sign, and the fact that somehow this wasn't mentioned before ~~~~~~'s - you know, because I guess EVERYONE KEEPS DAH SECRETZ OMFGZ!133- to be unusual.
Listen, I'll be honest: This story is a cliche-ridden mess that has little appeal to anyone who isn't, well, an emo teenager. Some of these are OOC, others are poorly done, and none of them were dramatic or made you care about the characters. There arw ways to do Angst, and you demonstrated one of the ways NOT to do Angst.
On the plus side: I enjoyed the writing in each chapter in terms of technicalities and style
~end~
I'm not hurt by this. I used to get hurt by the reviews people left, but this is ridic. This person is obviously just trying to make me feel bad. They were to pussy to stay signed in to leave the comments. They became anon, so they could yell at me, without having to be afraid. Big, strong, person, eh? Fucking loser =o= It's just annoying. Why go out of your way to comment on EVERY SINGLE chapter of my story, stating how much you HATE IT? Why did you bother reading it? I mean, this person sat and read until the VERY VERY VERY end. How ridic is this?
This story here, was meant to be angsty. Like, super angst. It's meant to be sad, not happy. I got tired of writing happy things. Anyway these are the reviews - edited to leave out the character names, cause, I don't want people knowing the fic XD
Chapter One -
Already a boozer, eh? The idea of ------- drinking is actually not bad and works out, but the chapter seems tilted specifically so that he is more or less ruined. Poorly done and not dramatic
Chapter Two -
Not dramatic as there seems to be no catalyst except jealousy- it seems as though you were reaching for something with ------.
There are ways to handle a slip into depression without a cause. This chapter does not do a good job in trying to convince me that in any way, shape, or form, that any of this makes sense.
Chapter Three -
Chapter has no purpose. You went out of your way to make the family disliked, outside of hte family, and you chose the poorest way to show it.
Chapter Four - Wildly OOC.
Chapter Five -
Cliche ridden. A big problem is you ruin one big strong point, that each chapter is written in first person with some decent character-centric styles, by screwing it with terrible cliches.
Chapter Six -
Cliche ridden. And that would be okay except for the -----, ------- and -------- parts. Amazing how any story involving the kids always seems to forget that others outside their class even exist. And add in the fact that this chapter mis-characterizes literally every crossdresser, transvestite, and transsexual that I have ever, ever known, and just wow.
Chapter Seven -
There seems to be no real point to this chapter beyond how shitty his parents are for no real reason. I don't get why they do it(major writing fail) and why he hasn't spoken to a counselor about his issues.
Chapter Eight -
Wow. Out of the blue and not even dramatic.
Chapter Nine -
Everyone in this town seems gay or bi or hell, if ------- fools them, bi even if they don't know it. The 'signs' here are weak and, generally, I'm not looking the fake-teenage vibe I get from the chapters.
Chapter Ten -
I've known people who have gone through this and will therefore award you half a point for the thought process that some have, and then I detract ten points for everything else here.
Chapter Eleven -
I knew how it would turn out the second the 'event' started, which is not a good sign, and the fact that somehow this wasn't mentioned before ~~~~~~'s - you know, because I guess EVERYONE KEEPS DAH SECRETZ OMFGZ!133- to be unusual.
Listen, I'll be honest: This story is a cliche-ridden mess that has little appeal to anyone who isn't, well, an emo teenager. Some of these are OOC, others are poorly done, and none of them were dramatic or made you care about the characters. There arw ways to do Angst, and you demonstrated one of the ways NOT to do Angst.
On the plus side: I enjoyed the writing in each chapter in terms of technicalities and style
~end~
I'm not hurt by this. I used to get hurt by the reviews people left, but this is ridic. This person is obviously just trying to make me feel bad. They were to pussy to stay signed in to leave the comments. They became anon, so they could yell at me, without having to be afraid. Big, strong, person, eh? Fucking loser =o= It's just annoying. Why go out of your way to comment on EVERY SINGLE chapter of my story, stating how much you HATE IT? Why did you bother reading it? I mean, this person sat and read until the VERY VERY VERY end. How ridic is this?