Ah, Amusement.
While this email in itself was rather amusing, simply knowing that it came from one of my lesbian friends makes it all the more amusing.
WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN
MAN: Can I buy you a drink?
WOMAN: Actually I'd rather have the money.
MAN: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
WOMAN: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
MAN: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
WOMAN: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
MAN: How did you get to be so beautiful?
WOMAN: I must've been given your share.
MAN: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
WOMAN: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
MAN: Your face must turn a few heads.
WOMAN: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
MAN: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
WOMAN: Okay, get out.
MAN: I think I could make you very happy.
WOMAN: Why? Are you leaving?
MAN: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
WOMAN: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
MAN: Can I have your name?
WOMAN: Why? Don't you already have one?
MAN: Shall we go see a movie?
WOMAN: I've already seen it.
MAN: Where have you been all my life?
WOMAN: Hiding from you.
MAN: Haven't I seen you some place before?
WOMAN: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
MAN: Is this seat empty?
WOMAN: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
MAN: So, what do you do for a living?
WOMAN: I'm a female impersonator.
MAN: Hey baby, what's your sign?
WOMAN: Do not enter.
MAN: Your body is like a temple.
WOMAN: Sorry, there are no services today.
MAN: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
WOMAN: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
MAN: Where have you been all my life?
WOMAN: Where I'll be the rest of your life -in your wildest dreams.
WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN
MAN: Can I buy you a drink?
WOMAN: Actually I'd rather have the money.
MAN: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
WOMAN: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
MAN: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
WOMAN: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
MAN: How did you get to be so beautiful?
WOMAN: I must've been given your share.
MAN: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
WOMAN: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
MAN: Your face must turn a few heads.
WOMAN: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
MAN: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
WOMAN: Okay, get out.
MAN: I think I could make you very happy.
WOMAN: Why? Are you leaving?
MAN: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
WOMAN: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
MAN: Can I have your name?
WOMAN: Why? Don't you already have one?
MAN: Shall we go see a movie?
WOMAN: I've already seen it.
MAN: Where have you been all my life?
WOMAN: Hiding from you.
MAN: Haven't I seen you some place before?
WOMAN: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
MAN: Is this seat empty?
WOMAN: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
MAN: So, what do you do for a living?
WOMAN: I'm a female impersonator.
MAN: Hey baby, what's your sign?
WOMAN: Do not enter.
MAN: Your body is like a temple.
WOMAN: Sorry, there are no services today.
MAN: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
WOMAN: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
MAN: Where have you been all my life?
WOMAN: Where I'll be the rest of your life -in your wildest dreams.