Sandwiches, etc. Accessable by Jesus, Jon and Lauren.
i love me my Jesus. he is hella fuckin funny.
Tonight, when I was driving him home, he was falling asleep (as usual). He said something I didn't understand, and the ensuing dialog went something like this:
Sam: What?
Jesus: What?
Sam: What'd you say?
Jesus: Tony...some last name...what'd I say? I was talking to you and I told you his name. *falls asleep until I start coughing*
Sam: What were you saying?
Jesus: What?
Sam: You said something I didn't understand, then said something about it being Toni's last name?
Jesus: Oh, you know. I told you. Whats his last name? *looks at me urgently, as if i know* Oh shit. It was in my head.
Sam: It was in your head?
Jesus: I could have sworn we were having a conversation, but it was in my head.
Sam: What were we having a conversation about?
Jesus: *falls asleep until Sam has a cough attack, at which point he wakes up* What?
Sam: What were we having a conversation about?
Jesus: What?
Sam: *recounts the story thus far*
Jesus: Oh shit. I'm sorry.
Sam: So, what were we having a conversation about?
Jesus: Oh I didn't tell you what we were going to do?
Sam: No, you didn't tell me.
Jesus: Well let me tell you. I went to school, and then I got ready. *falls asleep*
There was some after that, but I totally don't remember it at the moment. Something about movies? Yesterday at Jon's he kept falling asleep as well. I have yet to figure out how to wake him up without scaring the crap out of him.
On a different day, we had an exceptional conversation via IM:
totally different day, but completely related:
Sam: *sings* my bologna has no first name, because it doesn't exist
Jesus: Existentialist Oscar Meyer
Jesus: Zero Calories
Jesus: Zero Food
Jesus: Zero World
Jesus: Are you here?
Jesus: No, No you're not.
What I was actually talking about:
Jesus: Did the chocolate upset your stomach?
Sam: sounds likely
Sam: hah, last night i ate the grossest thing
Sam: tortilla vegetarian bologna soy cheese=not good
Sam: so i soaked it in hot sauce lol
Jesus: Heh. That's actually not entirely gross. Back when I used to eat meat that's how I would sometimes make quesadillas with. Heh although the hot sauce soaking would make the experience better i'm sure.
Sam: yeah, when i ate meat it was good, but that soy cheese stuff isnt great, and the bologna is only sometimes good
Sam: *shrug*
Jesus: Ah the perils of vegeterian synchronized quesadillas (literal translation from the spanish Quesadillas Syncronisadas , or quesadillas with meat in them)
Sam: i will never understand the word bologna. the way to looks, i'd say it bo-lo-gna
Sam: but instead i say bo-lo-nee
Sam: and i'll be damned if the bastard of the sandwhich meats is like..french
Jesus: who the hell would think of making gna sound like nee
Jesus: HA!
Jesus: bastard of the sandwhich meats!
Jesus: LMAO!
Sam: you know it is.
Sam: theres all like, roast beef, ham, turkey, blah blah blah
Sam: and then bologna.
Sam: the word doesnt even look appealing or explain anything about it
Jesus: LMAO
Jesus: !!
Sam: anything in the fucking WORLD could be in bologna
Jesus: "well what exactly is in this?"
Jesus: "Bologna"
Sam: you know? its like hotdogs.
Jesus: Sharpie markers,
Jesus: old mocassins
Sam: precisely
Sam: medical waste
Sam: *shrug*
Sam: "tastes like bologna"
Jesus: ewww
Jesus: used condoms
Sam: eww
Sam: but yeah. its so the red headed bastard stepchild of the sandwhich meats.
Jesus: Nastyness with a capital GROSS!
Jesus: the cold cut NO ONE wants to talk about at Sandwhich meeting
Sam: lol
Sam: i'd like to attend a sandwhich meeting
Sam: i think it'd be delightful
Sam: the PB&J talking peacefully with the monte cristo or whatever they're called
Jesus: "Next on the agenda: Deliciousness. BLT would you like to start us off?"
Jesus: and then you'd have your sandwhich social classes
Sam: haha
Jesus: The Quizno's
Sam: they're like the mob
Jesus: The Subways
Jesus: and then like in the back the lil hick cousins
Jesus: The Arby's
Jesus: HA!
Sam: lmao
Jesus: The Godfather of Sandwhiches!
Jesus: Who would that be?
Sam: hmm
Sam: it'd have to be something italian sounding
Sam: im thinkin in the pastrami/philly cheese steak family
Sam: the bouncer...
Sam: club sandwhich
Sam: lmao
Jesus: LMAO!
Jesus: Ha!
Jesus: Oh God I just thought of something horribly racist!
Sam: ?
Jesus: The Greaseball.
Jesus: :-(
Jesus: Ha! The Tony Danza
Sam: would their leader by like, the Kaiser Roll?
Jesus: LOL Probably. Like their Military strategist.LOL
Sam: lol
Sam: *thinks of other sandwiches*
Jesus: How bout ice cream sandwhiches?
Sam: gasp
Sam: i forgot about those
Jesus: Would they go to the meetings
Jesus: I'd imagine they'd be pretty like slutty and exotic
Sam: yeah, but they'd be like weird social outcasts
Sam: lol
Jesus: Yeah.
Jesus: Plus they'd drip all over the place.
Sam: icecream sandwhich is the transexual prostitute of the sandwhich world
Jesus: Other sandwhiches would be like "eww icecream sandwhich"
Jesus: LMAO!!!!!
Sam: lmao
Jesus: LMAO!!!!
Jesus: HA!!
Jesus: Crazy ass sandwhiches.
Sam: "icecream sandwich, we dont want yo nasty ass hangin around here no mo, dripping neopolitan on our floor. take you skanky ass back to the icecream truck"
Sam: i searched "sandwiches" and found this:
Sam: This is my list of links to pictures of Girls Eating Sandwiches! Now with inane descriptions! NEW AS OF 1/23/04! What a pile of sandwiches!
Jesus: LMAO!!!
Jesus: HA!
Jesus: WTF?!!!
Jesus: There's like sandwhich/human porno
Jesus: That's so stupid
Sam: its actually...
Sam: girls eating sandwhiches
Sam: so far completely clothed
Jesus: that's like "XXX GiRlS EaTiNg ChIcKeN XXX"!!
Jesus: send me the link
Sam: GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS!!!....eating sandwiches...
Jesus: LMAO!
Jesus: Oh lord
Jesus: that's too funny
Sam: oh sandwhiches.
Jesus: OMG!!! Hillary Clinton eats sandwhiches!!!
Sam: of course. only a sandwich eating woman would ever marry someone like bill
Jesus: Ha! This is true right there!
Tonight, when I was driving him home, he was falling asleep (as usual). He said something I didn't understand, and the ensuing dialog went something like this:
Sam: What?
Jesus: What?
Sam: What'd you say?
Jesus: Tony...some last name...what'd I say? I was talking to you and I told you his name. *falls asleep until I start coughing*
Sam: What were you saying?
Jesus: What?
Sam: You said something I didn't understand, then said something about it being Toni's last name?
Jesus: Oh, you know. I told you. Whats his last name? *looks at me urgently, as if i know* Oh shit. It was in my head.
Sam: It was in your head?
Jesus: I could have sworn we were having a conversation, but it was in my head.
Sam: What were we having a conversation about?
Jesus: *falls asleep until Sam has a cough attack, at which point he wakes up* What?
Sam: What were we having a conversation about?
Jesus: What?
Sam: *recounts the story thus far*
Jesus: Oh shit. I'm sorry.
Sam: So, what were we having a conversation about?
Jesus: Oh I didn't tell you what we were going to do?
Sam: No, you didn't tell me.
Jesus: Well let me tell you. I went to school, and then I got ready. *falls asleep*
There was some after that, but I totally don't remember it at the moment. Something about movies? Yesterday at Jon's he kept falling asleep as well. I have yet to figure out how to wake him up without scaring the crap out of him.
On a different day, we had an exceptional conversation via IM:
totally different day, but completely related:
Sam: *sings* my bologna has no first name, because it doesn't exist
Jesus: Existentialist Oscar Meyer
Jesus: Zero Calories
Jesus: Zero Food
Jesus: Zero World
Jesus: Are you here?
Jesus: No, No you're not.
What I was actually talking about:
Jesus: Did the chocolate upset your stomach?
Sam: sounds likely
Sam: hah, last night i ate the grossest thing
Sam: tortilla vegetarian bologna soy cheese=not good
Sam: so i soaked it in hot sauce lol
Jesus: Heh. That's actually not entirely gross. Back when I used to eat meat that's how I would sometimes make quesadillas with. Heh although the hot sauce soaking would make the experience better i'm sure.
Sam: yeah, when i ate meat it was good, but that soy cheese stuff isnt great, and the bologna is only sometimes good
Sam: *shrug*
Jesus: Ah the perils of vegeterian synchronized quesadillas (literal translation from the spanish Quesadillas Syncronisadas , or quesadillas with meat in them)
Sam: i will never understand the word bologna. the way to looks, i'd say it bo-lo-gna
Sam: but instead i say bo-lo-nee
Sam: and i'll be damned if the bastard of the sandwhich meats is like..french
Jesus: who the hell would think of making gna sound like nee
Jesus: HA!
Jesus: bastard of the sandwhich meats!
Jesus: LMAO!
Sam: you know it is.
Sam: theres all like, roast beef, ham, turkey, blah blah blah
Sam: and then bologna.
Sam: the word doesnt even look appealing or explain anything about it
Jesus: LMAO
Jesus: !!
Sam: anything in the fucking WORLD could be in bologna
Jesus: "well what exactly is in this?"
Jesus: "Bologna"
Sam: you know? its like hotdogs.
Jesus: Sharpie markers,
Jesus: old mocassins
Sam: precisely
Sam: medical waste
Sam: *shrug*
Sam: "tastes like bologna"
Jesus: ewww
Jesus: used condoms
Sam: eww
Sam: but yeah. its so the red headed bastard stepchild of the sandwhich meats.
Jesus: Nastyness with a capital GROSS!
Jesus: the cold cut NO ONE wants to talk about at Sandwhich meeting
Sam: lol
Sam: i'd like to attend a sandwhich meeting
Sam: i think it'd be delightful
Sam: the PB&J talking peacefully with the monte cristo or whatever they're called
Jesus: "Next on the agenda: Deliciousness. BLT would you like to start us off?"
Jesus: and then you'd have your sandwhich social classes
Sam: haha
Jesus: The Quizno's
Sam: they're like the mob
Jesus: The Subways
Jesus: and then like in the back the lil hick cousins
Jesus: The Arby's
Jesus: HA!
Sam: lmao
Jesus: The Godfather of Sandwhiches!
Jesus: Who would that be?
Sam: hmm
Sam: it'd have to be something italian sounding
Sam: im thinkin in the pastrami/philly cheese steak family
Sam: the bouncer...
Sam: club sandwhich
Sam: lmao
Jesus: LMAO!
Jesus: Ha!
Jesus: Oh God I just thought of something horribly racist!
Sam: ?
Jesus: The Greaseball.
Jesus: :-(
Jesus: Ha! The Tony Danza
Sam: would their leader by like, the Kaiser Roll?
Jesus: LOL Probably. Like their Military strategist.LOL
Sam: lol
Sam: *thinks of other sandwiches*
Jesus: How bout ice cream sandwhiches?
Sam: gasp
Sam: i forgot about those
Jesus: Would they go to the meetings
Jesus: I'd imagine they'd be pretty like slutty and exotic
Sam: yeah, but they'd be like weird social outcasts
Sam: lol
Jesus: Yeah.
Jesus: Plus they'd drip all over the place.
Sam: icecream sandwhich is the transexual prostitute of the sandwhich world
Jesus: Other sandwhiches would be like "eww icecream sandwhich"
Jesus: LMAO!!!!!
Sam: lmao
Jesus: LMAO!!!!
Jesus: HA!!
Jesus: Crazy ass sandwhiches.
Sam: "icecream sandwich, we dont want yo nasty ass hangin around here no mo, dripping neopolitan on our floor. take you skanky ass back to the icecream truck"
Sam: i searched "sandwiches" and found this:
Sam: This is my list of links to pictures of Girls Eating Sandwiches! Now with inane descriptions! NEW AS OF 1/23/04! What a pile of sandwiches!
Jesus: LMAO!!!
Jesus: HA!
Jesus: WTF?!!!
Jesus: There's like sandwhich/human porno
Jesus: That's so stupid
Sam: its actually...
Sam: girls eating sandwhiches
Sam: so far completely clothed
Jesus: that's like "XXX GiRlS EaTiNg ChIcKeN XXX"!!
Jesus: send me the link
Sam: GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS!!!....eating sandwiches...
Jesus: LMAO!
Jesus: Oh lord
Jesus: that's too funny
Sam: oh sandwhiches.
Jesus: OMG!!! Hillary Clinton eats sandwhiches!!!
Sam: of course. only a sandwich eating woman would ever marry someone like bill
Jesus: Ha! This is true right there!