Fan Rant (Hash it Out)
I've realized to really love a movie, I have to bitch about it first. I have to get angry and hate on it before I can really love it. So here goes my HBP hash:
Just so you know, I think this one will be my favorite.
Please note that no matter what I say about how much stuff drives me crazy, I will still like it because it is still Harry Potter.
I'll start with the beginning of the movie and list what I can remember, and then I'll digress to stuff that pops into my head.
(1) Harry is girl-crazy.
He seems to like every single girl he sees. Including that random girl at the non-existent diner at the underground station, Romilda Vane, and Ginny Weasley. Ginny already seems random to most movie-goers, but now they'll never know if he really likes Ginny, or he's just being his girl-crazy self.
(2) Gambon finally gets it right!
Since Michael Gambon has been over-excited and loud for the other Potter films, now he's finally the quirky twinkling Dumbledore we know and love. Of course this would be the last film that features Dumbledore.
(3) Slughorn is too thin.
I think this speaks for itself. But technically, I really don't care because Jim Broadbent is the best. The end.
(4) The Death Eaters do too much to Muggles.
'Nuff said. They are too obvious.
(5) Molly is too paranoid.
She never mistrusted Dumbledore's ability to keep the kiddies safe and she would NOT "go barmy" over the Death Eaters. She has too much sense. And calling Dumbledore old? WTF, guys?
(6) Ginny's taller than Harry.
This just amused me. XD
(7) Bill and Fleur?
Where did they go? Are they stuck in a pyramid, or something?
(8) Fred and George's shop = Awesomeness.
XD. Amazing and full of pretty colors. And placing both Cormac and Lavender there fills my foreshadowing self to death. Also: "How much?"/"Five Galleons"/"It's me!"/"Five Galleons."/"But I'm your brother!"/"Ten Galleons, then." Yep.
(9) Harry is too self-sneaky about Draco.
WTF, Harry? Of course you're going to get caught, dumbass.
(10) Luna is cute and the only colored character.
Pretty colors again. XD
(11) Oh yeah. Bellatrix is head bitch.
And this happened, how? She's suddenly at the forefront of everything.
(12) Poor Ron is treated like a tag-along.
Ron is not a tag-along. A sidekick, yes. But a kick-ass one. Not some stupid puppy that can't go to the bathroom by himself. This is one of my biggest peevs with this movie.
(13) DUMBLEDORE! OF COURSE HARRY ISN'T WITH HERMIONE!
Dumbledore knows better than that. He is very wise and sees all. He knows about "Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger".
(14) Harry is too attached to his Potions book. He wasn't like that.
(15) Cormac and Lavender
As much as I really do dislike that self-praising git, he was perfectly portrayed. Lavender was perfectly giggly and attached.
(16) Hermione shares too much.
Harry does not need you to spell it out and neither should the movie-goers!
(17) Hitting motif
I did enjoy the abuse of people with books and paper. The paper is truly mightier than the wand.
(18) Draco...
is the perfect amount of snide and scared. He suddenly realizes that the Dark Lord's service isn't all it's cracked up to be. He sees what he's doing is wrong. In short, Draco is awesome.
(19) Where are Dobby and Kreacher?
I bet they're in the pyramid with Bill and Fleur.
(20) Ginny...
why are you tying Harry's shoes? And why did you follow him into that suddenly occuring field? Fire is not your friend. You stole it's hair color.
(21) The Burning Burrow
Totally unnecessary! Why did the Burrow need to be burned down? It DIDN'T. Where are they going to have Bill and Fleur's wedding?! Where are Ron and Hermione going to dance? Not in a pyramid.
(22) Harry and Draco's fight?
Awesome.
(23) Aragog's Funeral?
Hilarious.
(24) Slughorn's Lily from Lily.
Fanfic in the works in my head.
(25) Oh! Ron in Love.
Funniest thing ever and the reason I love Rupert. He's so funny. Also, in the hospital. Hermione and Lavender's argument may be the best thing ever. (Lavender IS a daft cow.) And it was the cutest thing that at that exact moment, Ron turns over and say Hermione's name a bunch of times. And then she holds his hand? So adorable. I may start using the phrase Love's Keen Sting. XD
(26) Going to the Cave
DUMBLEDORE! YOU CAN'T APPARATE EITHER! I DON'T CARE HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE. "HOGWARTS, A HISTORY" DID NOT LIE TO ME.
(27) Inferi
Cool as anything and bloody creepy.
(28) Dumbledore drinking...
Apparently the Ariana subplot will not appear. Sigh. Subplots are clearly so overrated.
(29) Snape...
may be good, but is still a mean mo-fro.
(30) GINNY!
Harry does not want to leave that in the Room of Requirement. The end.
(31) Ron...
the last bit, I believe. He is distant from Hermione while she's crying. Which, considering the funeral was not in the movie, was needed to concrete non-readers. And he was away from Hermione and Harry while they were looking off into the distance. They are supposed to be next to each other. And this isn't like a big geek peev. This is "I'm mad because SOME PEOPLE think they can foreshadow to the next movie." WTF. They stand together, all three. Ron stands with them. It is not his own mind that dissents enough to be away, it was the Locket! He is not a guy with doubts, although I'm sure that's how they'll play it. Because some people just suck. So Steven Kloves/David Yates/David Heyman, that wasn't cool. This is my biggest problem with the movie, but it'll be the part I fall in love with, because I love foreshadowing. But really, I hate this, because Ron doesn't have doubts about standing by his friends, but he's silent in the movie. This is WRONG. I hate this. It makes me want to cry.
Nutshell?
All in all, I really did like this movie anyway. If it weren't for my big geekiness and my wish for the good ol' days of Chris Columbus that kept it real, this could be my favorite. It might end up being so.
Just so you know, I think this one will be my favorite.
Please note that no matter what I say about how much stuff drives me crazy, I will still like it because it is still Harry Potter.
I'll start with the beginning of the movie and list what I can remember, and then I'll digress to stuff that pops into my head.
(1) Harry is girl-crazy.
He seems to like every single girl he sees. Including that random girl at the non-existent diner at the underground station, Romilda Vane, and Ginny Weasley. Ginny already seems random to most movie-goers, but now they'll never know if he really likes Ginny, or he's just being his girl-crazy self.
(2) Gambon finally gets it right!
Since Michael Gambon has been over-excited and loud for the other Potter films, now he's finally the quirky twinkling Dumbledore we know and love. Of course this would be the last film that features Dumbledore.
(3) Slughorn is too thin.
I think this speaks for itself. But technically, I really don't care because Jim Broadbent is the best. The end.
(4) The Death Eaters do too much to Muggles.
'Nuff said. They are too obvious.
(5) Molly is too paranoid.
She never mistrusted Dumbledore's ability to keep the kiddies safe and she would NOT "go barmy" over the Death Eaters. She has too much sense. And calling Dumbledore old? WTF, guys?
(6) Ginny's taller than Harry.
This just amused me. XD
(7) Bill and Fleur?
Where did they go? Are they stuck in a pyramid, or something?
(8) Fred and George's shop = Awesomeness.
XD. Amazing and full of pretty colors. And placing both Cormac and Lavender there fills my foreshadowing self to death. Also: "How much?"/"Five Galleons"/"It's me!"/"Five Galleons."/"But I'm your brother!"/"Ten Galleons, then." Yep.
(9) Harry is too self-sneaky about Draco.
WTF, Harry? Of course you're going to get caught, dumbass.
(10) Luna is cute and the only colored character.
Pretty colors again. XD
(11) Oh yeah. Bellatrix is head bitch.
And this happened, how? She's suddenly at the forefront of everything.
(12) Poor Ron is treated like a tag-along.
Ron is not a tag-along. A sidekick, yes. But a kick-ass one. Not some stupid puppy that can't go to the bathroom by himself. This is one of my biggest peevs with this movie.
(13) DUMBLEDORE! OF COURSE HARRY ISN'T WITH HERMIONE!
Dumbledore knows better than that. He is very wise and sees all. He knows about "Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger".
(14) Harry is too attached to his Potions book. He wasn't like that.
(15) Cormac and Lavender
As much as I really do dislike that self-praising git, he was perfectly portrayed. Lavender was perfectly giggly and attached.
(16) Hermione shares too much.
Harry does not need you to spell it out and neither should the movie-goers!
(17) Hitting motif
I did enjoy the abuse of people with books and paper. The paper is truly mightier than the wand.
(18) Draco...
is the perfect amount of snide and scared. He suddenly realizes that the Dark Lord's service isn't all it's cracked up to be. He sees what he's doing is wrong. In short, Draco is awesome.
(19) Where are Dobby and Kreacher?
I bet they're in the pyramid with Bill and Fleur.
(20) Ginny...
why are you tying Harry's shoes? And why did you follow him into that suddenly occuring field? Fire is not your friend. You stole it's hair color.
(21) The Burning Burrow
Totally unnecessary! Why did the Burrow need to be burned down? It DIDN'T. Where are they going to have Bill and Fleur's wedding?! Where are Ron and Hermione going to dance? Not in a pyramid.
(22) Harry and Draco's fight?
Awesome.
(23) Aragog's Funeral?
Hilarious.
(24) Slughorn's Lily from Lily.
Fanfic in the works in my head.
(25) Oh! Ron in Love.
Funniest thing ever and the reason I love Rupert. He's so funny. Also, in the hospital. Hermione and Lavender's argument may be the best thing ever. (Lavender IS a daft cow.) And it was the cutest thing that at that exact moment, Ron turns over and say Hermione's name a bunch of times. And then she holds his hand? So adorable. I may start using the phrase Love's Keen Sting. XD
(26) Going to the Cave
DUMBLEDORE! YOU CAN'T APPARATE EITHER! I DON'T CARE HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE. "HOGWARTS, A HISTORY" DID NOT LIE TO ME.
(27) Inferi
Cool as anything and bloody creepy.
(28) Dumbledore drinking...
Apparently the Ariana subplot will not appear. Sigh. Subplots are clearly so overrated.
(29) Snape...
may be good, but is still a mean mo-fro.
(30) GINNY!
Harry does not want to leave that in the Room of Requirement. The end.
(31) Ron...
the last bit, I believe. He is distant from Hermione while she's crying. Which, considering the funeral was not in the movie, was needed to concrete non-readers. And he was away from Hermione and Harry while they were looking off into the distance. They are supposed to be next to each other. And this isn't like a big geek peev. This is "I'm mad because SOME PEOPLE think they can foreshadow to the next movie." WTF. They stand together, all three. Ron stands with them. It is not his own mind that dissents enough to be away, it was the Locket! He is not a guy with doubts, although I'm sure that's how they'll play it. Because some people just suck. So Steven Kloves/David Yates/David Heyman, that wasn't cool. This is my biggest problem with the movie, but it'll be the part I fall in love with, because I love foreshadowing. But really, I hate this, because Ron doesn't have doubts about standing by his friends, but he's silent in the movie. This is WRONG. I hate this. It makes me want to cry.
Nutshell?
All in all, I really did like this movie anyway. If it weren't for my big geekiness and my wish for the good ol' days of Chris Columbus that kept it real, this could be my favorite. It might end up being so.