[fic] [fic challenge #12] The Girl Who Only Had The Road.
Title: The Girl Who Only Had The Road.
Summary: [Supernatural crossover, non-magical AU]. Lily Luna, at four ages.
Characters/Pairings: Lily Luna, James Sirius, Albus Severus
Genre: crossover, AU, gen
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for swearing.
Medium: Fic
Word Count: 1737
Notes: This is a companion piece to this fic. I fell in love with Lily, so I wanted to focus on her for a bit.
ten weeks old.
Lily’s not even three months old when she’s buckled into her car seat, crying and squalling. She doesn’t remember the way James shushed her, only a few years old himself. She doesn’t remember the way he held her hand in his, or the way he had Albus tucked under his arm. She doesn’t remember the way her dad sat in the driver’s seat, stoic and silent for over an hour before he turned the key in the ignition.
She often wonders if she knew what had happened, in some sense. She wonders if she knew her mama was gone, gone for good, and that their family was broken. James still likes to tell people that the only way he could get her to stop crying was to put a blanket over her face.
She never asks him if it’s painful for him to remember. She doesn’t even know if he understood what had happened.
eight years old
The first time Lily ever remembers having a crush was when she was eight years old. James likes to inform her that she’d proposed to him, Albus and Hugo all before then, but she doesn’t think that even counts.
No, her first crush was when she was eight years old. They were in Auburn, Illinois. She hadn’t seen her dad in five days and teachers were starting to ask questions. She wasn’t stupid though. She knew what to say when they asked why her big brother walked her and Albus to school every day. She knew what to say when they asked why her big brother had answered the phone when they called because she’d forgotten her jacket at school. She knew what to say when they asked who packed her lunches and why they were staying in a motel. She knew the answer was always daddy’s gotta work long shifts, daddy has to work a lot of jobs since mommy died, our house has a problem, pesto, daddy said. There’s pesto in the ceiling.
She covers for Albus too, because he’s shy, because he doesn’t have the same big wide eyes and long lashes that she does. He can’t make his chin just and his lip shake when he tells them about how daddy struggles since mommy died. She looks after him, even though he’s her big brother, because that’s what James always says to do.
She’s always sort of worshipped James - as a hero as a child, as a slightly annoying, but ridiculously cool brother as a teenager, and as the man who’s there for her no matter what as an adult - so it doesn’t come as a surprise to her, much later, that her first crush was on James’ first girlfriend.
Her name was Cady, and she doesn’t think James even remembers that. She had long, sleek blonde hair that she always had in a high ponytail. She smelled like bubblegum, and she didn’t call Lily ‘stinky’, like James did sometimes. She painted Lily’s nails like a rainbow; red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet, red, orange, yellow. She kissed James on the cheek when she said goodbye, and Lily was ridiculously jealous of the sticky mark left on James’ skin.
She’d follow them around at recess, butting into conversations to tell Cady all about the latest gossip from third grade, about all the stupid things James had done recently. James would get annoyed and tell her to go away, but Cady would always take her hand, stick her tongue out at James and say “girls have to stick together”. Lily repeated that for four years, usually adding a pointed look at James. Girls, she’d say, have to stick together. Me and you, James, she’d add, just in case he didn’t quite get it.
When Cady didn’t walk home with them one day, Lily asked where she was.
She didn’t speak to James for a week when the answer was that he’d decided he liked Marie better. She kept her hair tied up in a high ponytail for a month, but it didn’t look the same with her messy, black hair. Cady didn’t even talk to her anymore, anyway. She had a new boyfriend now. Lily hated him.
Unsurprisingly, her second crush was James’ second girlfriend. Marie, with her strawberry blonde curls and so many freckles she could have been their cousin. She didn’t paint Lily’s nails, but she did teach her how to skip. They left Auburn a week later.
thirteen years old.
Lily was never prone to being dramatic. She didn’t ever tell her father he didn’t understand her. She never slammed doors. She never thought the world was out to get her.
She did, however, forget all that the moment she went to the bathroom and found her underwear stained with red.
“James,” she screamed, her voice edging too close to hysterical. “James, get your ass in here.” The door creaked open, just the slightest. She looked up to see her brothers face, half in the shadow of the door, eyes squeezed shut.
“Don’t swear, Lily,” he muttered. “What do you want? Surely you’re old enough to use the bathroom by yourself.”
“James, I’m sick,” she said. Tears pricked at her eyes, burning as she choked on the lump in her throat and tried to swallow it down. She hadn’t cried in years. Not even the time she broke her leg following James up a tree. She wasn’t going to cry now. “There’s blood. It hurts.”
“What?” James’ eyes snapped open. He grimaced as he looked at her - pointedly only staring at her face. She remembers the moment he figured it out, because it was so clear on his face. His eyes went impossibly wide and his mouth dropped open. “Oh, fuck no, I did not agree to deal with this. This is Dad’s thing. No, this is mom’s thing or, or, or Aunt Hermione’s, this is not mine. Nope. I’m not doing this.”
“James,” she whined. “Dad’s not even here. What’s wrong with me?” She shook as she watched him. He had his eyes shut again. The door was open wider, his arm leaning against it, his palm pressed to his face. “Tell me.”
“It’s your period, Lily,” he muttered. “Please tell me I don’t have to explain to you how babies were made.”
She was silent for a moment. She gnawed at her lip. Tears still pricked at her eyes. She knew what a period was, of course. All the girls at school talked about them. Jenny, who already had boobs, big ones had started hers when she was ten, apparently.
Lily had kind of always assumed she’d never get hers. A lot of the time, she kind of forgot she was even a girl.
“Oh,” she finally said. “What do I do now?”
James swore again. Lily thought that maybe, just this once, she wouldn’t tell Dad.
sixteen.
The first thing Lily did when Albus told them he’d been accepted to the University of Chicago was laugh. She giggled at first, and then she tossed her head back and laughed long and loud. James had just turned twenty one, but he was laughing like he’s six again and dad’s just stolen his nose.
They both stopped dead when Albus threw the acceptance letter onto the table in front of them.
“How exactly are you going to afford it, Al?” James snapped, his tone changed as quick as the wind. He picks up the letter and frowns at it. It crumpled in his hand and Lily grabbed for it before he could tear it.
“I’ve got a partial scholarship. There’s loans. I can get a job.” Lily doesn’t like that Albus has thought of this. It’s not a spur of the moment decision. He’s been planning this, and neither of them have noticed. They’d been so wrapped in their own little worlds - James in his current girlfriend, in being twenty-one, in working twelve hour shifts because Dad’s fucked off and they don’t have enough money, Lily in whether or not she’ll get slapped if she kisses her friend Rebecca, in how she’s going to afford a dress for the prom, in how she’s going to explain that yes, she wants to go to the damn prom in the first place - that they haven’t noticed that Albus is leaving them.
“I’m going,” Albus said. “You can’t stop me.”
“So you’re just going to abandon us,” James said. His voice is even - too even, in fact. There’s not inflection to it, no anger, no sadness, nothing. “Your family.”
“I don’t want to be a hunter, James,” Albus snapped. “If we had normal fucking lives, this wouldn’t be abandonment. You’d be in college. I’d be going. Lily would be deciding who to go to prom with. I’m trying to be normal, James.” Lily doesn’t know who it would help if she pointed out she was trying to decide who to go to prom with.
“We’re not normal.” The chair he’d been sitting in tipped to the floor as James stood up. “You’ve never liked that. You’ve never wanted to be here.”
“Here?” Albus’s voice is pitched too high, a little too screeching. James tossed his hands up, like he doesn’t quite know what here means either. “Here? In shitty motel rooms and a tiny car that barely fits us? Here? Traveling around the country searching for monsters? Nobody sane wants to be here, James.”
James doesn’t say anything. He stood still, hands covering his face.
“If,” Lily said, staring down at the table. “If you want to go to university, then I’ll miss you, but,” she paused for a moment, looked at the letter in her hands and sighed. “But you never were meant to be a hunter. And there’s phones and email. We can visit you. It’s not the end of the world.”
“Thank you,” Albus said, and that was the last they spoke of it.
Two months later, Lily watched as her brother got on a bus to Chicago. It would be the last time she’d see him for four years. Every Sunday for two years, she’ll call him. He’ll never pick up the phone.
Emily/Gryff/63 points
Summary: [Supernatural crossover, non-magical AU]. Lily Luna, at four ages.
Characters/Pairings: Lily Luna, James Sirius, Albus Severus
Genre: crossover, AU, gen
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for swearing.
Medium: Fic
Word Count: 1737
Notes: This is a companion piece to this fic. I fell in love with Lily, so I wanted to focus on her for a bit.
ten weeks old.
Lily’s not even three months old when she’s buckled into her car seat, crying and squalling. She doesn’t remember the way James shushed her, only a few years old himself. She doesn’t remember the way he held her hand in his, or the way he had Albus tucked under his arm. She doesn’t remember the way her dad sat in the driver’s seat, stoic and silent for over an hour before he turned the key in the ignition.
She often wonders if she knew what had happened, in some sense. She wonders if she knew her mama was gone, gone for good, and that their family was broken. James still likes to tell people that the only way he could get her to stop crying was to put a blanket over her face.
She never asks him if it’s painful for him to remember. She doesn’t even know if he understood what had happened.
eight years old
The first time Lily ever remembers having a crush was when she was eight years old. James likes to inform her that she’d proposed to him, Albus and Hugo all before then, but she doesn’t think that even counts.
No, her first crush was when she was eight years old. They were in Auburn, Illinois. She hadn’t seen her dad in five days and teachers were starting to ask questions. She wasn’t stupid though. She knew what to say when they asked why her big brother walked her and Albus to school every day. She knew what to say when they asked why her big brother had answered the phone when they called because she’d forgotten her jacket at school. She knew what to say when they asked who packed her lunches and why they were staying in a motel. She knew the answer was always daddy’s gotta work long shifts, daddy has to work a lot of jobs since mommy died, our house has a problem, pesto, daddy said. There’s pesto in the ceiling.
She covers for Albus too, because he’s shy, because he doesn’t have the same big wide eyes and long lashes that she does. He can’t make his chin just and his lip shake when he tells them about how daddy struggles since mommy died. She looks after him, even though he’s her big brother, because that’s what James always says to do.
She’s always sort of worshipped James - as a hero as a child, as a slightly annoying, but ridiculously cool brother as a teenager, and as the man who’s there for her no matter what as an adult - so it doesn’t come as a surprise to her, much later, that her first crush was on James’ first girlfriend.
Her name was Cady, and she doesn’t think James even remembers that. She had long, sleek blonde hair that she always had in a high ponytail. She smelled like bubblegum, and she didn’t call Lily ‘stinky’, like James did sometimes. She painted Lily’s nails like a rainbow; red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet, red, orange, yellow. She kissed James on the cheek when she said goodbye, and Lily was ridiculously jealous of the sticky mark left on James’ skin.
She’d follow them around at recess, butting into conversations to tell Cady all about the latest gossip from third grade, about all the stupid things James had done recently. James would get annoyed and tell her to go away, but Cady would always take her hand, stick her tongue out at James and say “girls have to stick together”. Lily repeated that for four years, usually adding a pointed look at James. Girls, she’d say, have to stick together. Me and you, James, she’d add, just in case he didn’t quite get it.
When Cady didn’t walk home with them one day, Lily asked where she was.
She didn’t speak to James for a week when the answer was that he’d decided he liked Marie better. She kept her hair tied up in a high ponytail for a month, but it didn’t look the same with her messy, black hair. Cady didn’t even talk to her anymore, anyway. She had a new boyfriend now. Lily hated him.
Unsurprisingly, her second crush was James’ second girlfriend. Marie, with her strawberry blonde curls and so many freckles she could have been their cousin. She didn’t paint Lily’s nails, but she did teach her how to skip. They left Auburn a week later.
thirteen years old.
Lily was never prone to being dramatic. She didn’t ever tell her father he didn’t understand her. She never slammed doors. She never thought the world was out to get her.
She did, however, forget all that the moment she went to the bathroom and found her underwear stained with red.
“James,” she screamed, her voice edging too close to hysterical. “James, get your ass in here.” The door creaked open, just the slightest. She looked up to see her brothers face, half in the shadow of the door, eyes squeezed shut.
“Don’t swear, Lily,” he muttered. “What do you want? Surely you’re old enough to use the bathroom by yourself.”
“James, I’m sick,” she said. Tears pricked at her eyes, burning as she choked on the lump in her throat and tried to swallow it down. She hadn’t cried in years. Not even the time she broke her leg following James up a tree. She wasn’t going to cry now. “There’s blood. It hurts.”
“What?” James’ eyes snapped open. He grimaced as he looked at her - pointedly only staring at her face. She remembers the moment he figured it out, because it was so clear on his face. His eyes went impossibly wide and his mouth dropped open. “Oh, fuck no, I did not agree to deal with this. This is Dad’s thing. No, this is mom’s thing or, or, or Aunt Hermione’s, this is not mine. Nope. I’m not doing this.”
“James,” she whined. “Dad’s not even here. What’s wrong with me?” She shook as she watched him. He had his eyes shut again. The door was open wider, his arm leaning against it, his palm pressed to his face. “Tell me.”
“It’s your period, Lily,” he muttered. “Please tell me I don’t have to explain to you how babies were made.”
She was silent for a moment. She gnawed at her lip. Tears still pricked at her eyes. She knew what a period was, of course. All the girls at school talked about them. Jenny, who already had boobs, big ones had started hers when she was ten, apparently.
Lily had kind of always assumed she’d never get hers. A lot of the time, she kind of forgot she was even a girl.
“Oh,” she finally said. “What do I do now?”
James swore again. Lily thought that maybe, just this once, she wouldn’t tell Dad.
sixteen.
The first thing Lily did when Albus told them he’d been accepted to the University of Chicago was laugh. She giggled at first, and then she tossed her head back and laughed long and loud. James had just turned twenty one, but he was laughing like he’s six again and dad’s just stolen his nose.
They both stopped dead when Albus threw the acceptance letter onto the table in front of them.
“How exactly are you going to afford it, Al?” James snapped, his tone changed as quick as the wind. He picks up the letter and frowns at it. It crumpled in his hand and Lily grabbed for it before he could tear it.
“I’ve got a partial scholarship. There’s loans. I can get a job.” Lily doesn’t like that Albus has thought of this. It’s not a spur of the moment decision. He’s been planning this, and neither of them have noticed. They’d been so wrapped in their own little worlds - James in his current girlfriend, in being twenty-one, in working twelve hour shifts because Dad’s fucked off and they don’t have enough money, Lily in whether or not she’ll get slapped if she kisses her friend Rebecca, in how she’s going to afford a dress for the prom, in how she’s going to explain that yes, she wants to go to the damn prom in the first place - that they haven’t noticed that Albus is leaving them.
“I’m going,” Albus said. “You can’t stop me.”
“So you’re just going to abandon us,” James said. His voice is even - too even, in fact. There’s not inflection to it, no anger, no sadness, nothing. “Your family.”
“I don’t want to be a hunter, James,” Albus snapped. “If we had normal fucking lives, this wouldn’t be abandonment. You’d be in college. I’d be going. Lily would be deciding who to go to prom with. I’m trying to be normal, James.” Lily doesn’t know who it would help if she pointed out she was trying to decide who to go to prom with.
“We’re not normal.” The chair he’d been sitting in tipped to the floor as James stood up. “You’ve never liked that. You’ve never wanted to be here.”
“Here?” Albus’s voice is pitched too high, a little too screeching. James tossed his hands up, like he doesn’t quite know what here means either. “Here? In shitty motel rooms and a tiny car that barely fits us? Here? Traveling around the country searching for monsters? Nobody sane wants to be here, James.”
James doesn’t say anything. He stood still, hands covering his face.
“If,” Lily said, staring down at the table. “If you want to go to university, then I’ll miss you, but,” she paused for a moment, looked at the letter in her hands and sighed. “But you never were meant to be a hunter. And there’s phones and email. We can visit you. It’s not the end of the world.”
“Thank you,” Albus said, and that was the last they spoke of it.
Two months later, Lily watched as her brother got on a bus to Chicago. It would be the last time she’d see him for four years. Every Sunday for two years, she’ll call him. He’ll never pick up the phone.
Emily/Gryff/63 points