(no subject)

Dec 09, 2009 15:30

[PLAYER INFO]
NAME:Zen
AGE: 28
JOURNAL: zendequervain
IM:AIM: ZenobiaDeQue
E-MAIL: zendequervain at gmail dot com
RETURNING: I have uh, five characters. :D Toph, Xena, Slipstream, Blurr, and Agatha. I would like to go to six!

[CHARACTER INFO]
CHARACTER NAME: The Pro! :3
FANDOM: The Pro, published by Image.
CHRONOLOGY: ...The only one there is. circa 2002. Post nuclear explosion in space.
CLASS: Anti-hero, definitely. She'll keep the tags, since a free place to stay is free and that's good enough for her.
SUPERHERO NAME: The Pro
ALTER EGO: Name: No canon civvie name. She might tell people to call her Fay or Tina if they press for a first name. Tag should be n/a | the pro since there is no canon name. -_-;

BACKGROUND: Headcanon alert! Unfortunately, as the canon is a oneshot, there is no backstory for her.

The Pro barely managed to finish high school (and did so with the judicious use of blowjobs and blackmail threats afterward). Her mother had always had a constant string of live-in boyfriends and/or booty calls who would abuse both her and the kids, of which there were three, our heroine being the oldest. She took care of them as best she could while her mother fucked all kinds of men and got high. Life was shitty, just like everything else in the neighborhood, but it could have been worse. People struggled to survive, to make a living, in any way possible, and that was that, to her understanding. She skipped out of the house at seventeen after one of her mom's "boyfriends" tried to rape her and crashed in a teen shelter for the next few years while finishing high school. Nobody came to her graduation, but she didn't care.

A hard upbringing gave her a good appreciation for money and what it could do. And what she would do to get it. Prostitution was a logical choice, in her mind. She'd already been dabbling in trading sex for things for years, and she already knew a bunch of prostitutes, so it's not like she didn't know what she was getting into. It wasn't too difficult and usually paid well enough to survive while leaving her with free time to do as she pleased. As long as none of the johns beat or cheated her, she was okay. Or at least she told herself. There was a brief happy period, where she had more than enough money to do what she wanted and life was sort of good for once, but the reality of the situation came crashing down on her soon enough.

Johns dried up, regulars moved on, younger girls moved in and took the underage-looking market. The city got worse, cops more corrupt. She took a waitress job to at least appear semi-respectable after a brush with the police, where she managed to escape being charged for prostitution by...prostituting herself to the cop and threatening to send pictures to his superiors. It was a close call and scared her, but not enough to give up her only skillset. And the day job did make a small amount of extra money, which wasn't too bad. It came in handy later.

Somewhere along the way she found herself pregnant, the father unknown, one of many clients. After seeing and hearing about too many botched back-alley abortions and without access to enough money for one of her own (without getting herself entangled in gangs/mob/pimps), she decided to have the kid. And also found out that there are far too many perverts who love to fuck pregnant women, but it did let her save up a little. Try to save, that is. Fortunately one of her neighbors could watch the kid while she was out, which did save her quite a bit of money despite the woman's incessant bitching. Day care was out of her league.

Between leaving her mothers' home and the present-day, she'd done just about every fucking thing for money someone could think of (literally), which left her incredibly jaded and sarcastic. Having grown up in the shitty neighborhoods with the violence and struggles of poverty, she knows what it's like to live off cigarettes and saltines and whatever she could mooch or pocket for weeks on end because there just isn't enough business for anything else after the rent's been paid.

/end headcanon

The Pro opens with our heroine (of sorts) giving a skeevy man with a tiny wang a blowjob in the front seat of his car. He refused to pay the entire amount they agreed on before she got to business, then shot at her when she protested. She fled, of course, like any sane person would do. On the way home, she picked up her son from his babysitter, neighbor woman who was angry that she was extremely late.

That night, while she was feeding her son and smoking on the toilet, The Voyeur - EXCUSE ME, The Viewer - was viewing her from his cloaked satellite in space. Viewing. Which is apparently what he does all the time, watching Earth and its inhabitants. Creepy bastard. He wagered with his robotic companion that she could become a proper hero if given some of his power, and that it would be all the better due to her background. Wager accepted. Zappyzap in her sleep.

The next morning, she accidentally smashed not only her alarm clock, but the bedside table as well, then floated toward the bathroom before she realized what she was doing. And promptly screamed bloody murder, of course, which unfortunately woke her son. Before she could really do anything else, The Heroes arrived. And by heroes I mean the League of Honor, (sound familiar?) who represented all that was good and righteous in the world, or so they claimed. Bullshit, that.

However, they made her a deal she couldn't refuse. MONEY, and lots of it, and all she had to do with faff around with them for awhile and "fight crime" or whatever. It sounded like a sweet gig. Unfortunately, she got the worst costume in the history of superhero costumes out of the job. It was pieced together from other people's old getups, left her tits hanging out, and the thong went straight up her ass. Goddamn.

Her first outing with the League of Honor didn't go so well. They were fighting a group of villains who took their names from word types, like The Noun and The Adverb. What the hell. Apparently the good villain names were taken already? In the ensuing fight she took a laser to the stomach, which hurt like a motherfucker by the way, prompting her to beat the shit out of whichever of the goddamned Letter People had done it because HELLO THAT FUCKING HURT. Said Letter Person wasn't prepared for the level of sheer viciousness The Pro was throwing at her.

So she beat the shit outta the Noun And then peed on the bitch's face. In front of the UN and their children. On Bring Your Kids To Work Day.

Yeaaaah, that didn't go over very well. Apparently heroes were supposed to toe the line and never curse, smoke, or get revenge. Who knew?

After becoming a 'hero,' she let her fellow prostitutes know that she was on the lookout for a certain skeevy John who had a penchant for shorting, threatening, raping, and beating up the whores he hired. Some lovely revenge was had, in which all of the prostitutes he'd hurt had a go at him. With whatever they wanted. It didn't end well for him.

That got her in biiiig trouble with the League, of course. Not that anyone cared what happened to the whores, they just bitched and moaned over the poor, poor man who didn't deserve anything so horrible. Fucking hyprocrites. After she left, they argued over whether she was even allowed to stay in the League. The Saint opted to go speak to her.

Back home, the skeevy john who'd shot at her broke into her apartment and held her son with a gun to his head while she was busy counting money acquired from superspeed handjobs. More than $500 a night ain't half bad, no? She'll be richer than Tony Stark before too long. Anyway, the jerkface was angry because apparently it was all her fault that the classy ladies he'd abused took their revenge out on him, so he was going to kill her kid in front of her. Fortunately, the hero arrived! And by the hero, I mean the Saint (aka Supes). He broke the gun and took it away.

And then she punched the asshole's JAW OFF. SO SAD FOR HIM. DON'T FUCKING THREATEN THE BRAT, DOUCHEBAG. B|

She and the Saint had a lovely chat afterwards, in which she explained to him that prostitution was a job, just like any other job, and it wasn't that she was demeaning herself for it, it's that it paid the bills and was enough for her. Ta da. He got a super blowjob when she discovered that he'd never had one (and didn't even know what that was). UNFORTUNATELY, his supersperm could've blown her head off if she hadn't moved.

What it did do was explode the condom, punch a hole in the wall, and clip the wing off an airplane. Yes. NEWSFLASH: SUPERSPERM CLIPS PLANE; DIRTY MUTIE TERRORISTS WIN. Of course he zoomed off to catch the plane and keep it from crashing, because that's what heroes do. Sadly, though, he hadn't pulled his pants up. So his superjunk was waving playfully in the wind and traumatizing children on the airplane. Woe.

The League blew a shitfit at her after that. Omg you seduced our leader! Omg you're a harlot! Omg you're terrible! She fired right back with a truly epic takedown on their hypocrisy, uselessness, and sheer idiocy. Epic. Seriously epic. Apparently the Knight hired her at one point to dress up like the Squire and diddle herself with one of his boomerangs. Funny, that. Speedo wanked off at high speeds to her descriptions of the shit she's done for money (up to and including fucking a guy in the ass with an apollo rocket strapon). I don't even have words to describe how epic the takedown was, but it included the quote "We need people who don't know shit about hope" and more profanity than I knew what to do with. Amazing.

They still ignored pretty much everything she said and were about to boot was off the team entirely. But suddenly! Hostage situation at the Empire State Building! Oh noes! She got to go along for one last chance to prove herself worthy. And oh, what a chance it was.

They arrived on the scene, and the Lime promptly got himself killed, because what's what happens when someone shoots off your green lanternlime ring, idk. There was quite the dust-up with the terrorists. She kicked a guy in half, literally. In half. But unfortunately, one of the terrorists had set them up the bomb.

So our intrepid heroine grabbed the guy who was about to let go of the hand depressor switch thingy for the bomb. In doing so, she accidentally ripped both of his arrms off. Ooops! The bomb squad got up there, stat, and delivered the most unwelcome news that the bomb was not only a bomb. It was a fucking nuke. With a timer of five minutes. And since the handgrip was already depressed all the way (by virtue of her hand squeezing the disembodied terrorist's hand), she couldn't hand it off to the Saint, who volunteered to take it.

Yeaaaaah. She got one last cigarette from the bomb squad guy, yelled at the Saint not to fuck up her kid because she'd come back and haunt him forever if he did, and took off for space. Luck wasn't with her. Her cigarette went out before she even got up too far.

The Viewer was pleased. He'd won his wager. She'd done something altruistic and good and became a true hero. Unfortunately for him, she also managed to fly straight at his cloaked spy satellite as the countdown went off.

Boom. No more Pro.

PERSONALITY:The Pro is jaded and fucked up and knows it. She knows how shitty life is when you've got nothing to hope for. Tired of all the shit she's dealt with since she was little but still has a pretty wickedly morbid and perverse sense of humor. Fun times.

She's not afraid to say what she's thinking. She tells it like she sees it, and doesn't give a fuck for people's delicate sensibilities. She's had a hard life and doesn't believe that heroes (such as the League of Honor) are necessary because they're so removed from the civilian population. When she gets angry, she takes whatever action she deems necessary or just plain feels like doing. She is, one might say, a bitch. Revenge? Not a damn problem. Eye for an eye, one might say. Piss on the face for energy beams. That sort of thing.

Even so, she takes responsibility for (most of) her actions. In her own way. See: her kid. She does have a maternal side, though she has a weird way of showing it. Prostitution was one of the ways she kept him fed and in diapers and babysitters, and to her, it was just a job like everyone else's job. Laws? Pfft.

Money is nice, she likes money. She likes nice things too, though she's rarely ever had them.

Cigarettes. Can't live without those.

POWER:
What is/are your character’s superpower(s)? Canon abilities: Flight, super strength, super speed, invulnerability. She's essentially a female Superman without being an alien and with no crazy eye powers. For the City, we can drop invulnerability. Even though it makes me sad. Sad!

Superspeed handjobs it is.

[CHARACTER SAMPLES]
COMMUNITY POST (FIRST PERSON) SAMPLE: I've been reading posts on this network for awhile, and I have a question.

How can you fucking stand yourselves? You heroes.

Back home, the so-called "heroes" were anything but. They were fucking naive idiots is what they were, thinking they were inspiring hope when they were goddamned useless in the overall scheme of things. Fighting teams of "villains" while doing nothing to stop terrorists and real troublemakers. Nothing to help the people who actually needed help, not a single fucking thing. The fucking happy shiny world where they could fight ineffectual villains and go home at the end of the day happy with themselves even though there were people starving in the streets, beaten, murdered, robbed, raped, children living in filth because their parents couldn't afford anything better or didn't give two shits, lives destroyed by the government and corporations, people who didn't know shit all about this "hope" thing needing help and never getting it. Christ, even the fucking villains were vanilla bastards. League of Honor, my pimpled ass.

How are you any fucking different?

LOGS POST (THIRD PERSON) SAMPLE: A tiny fire, burning bright, was touched against the end of wrapped paper and dried leaves, alighting them to a smolder. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. The smoke curled idly upwards, unfettered, while the woman stared at nothing, trying her best to forget everything. The sense of relief and calm creeping through her senses was as much a product of the habit as the chemicals.

This place. She sighed and stubbed out the barely-smoked cigarette in frustration. It was the same. So-called "heroes" everywhere, and the normal people just trying to do the best they could with what they could manage to scrape together out of the rotten shitstain called life. She'd easily fallen back into the same old routine, the one she'd followed for months, years. Get up, pull a shift at some shitty diner or restaurant, spend the night giving blowjobs to disgusting men who fancied themselves above the filth of the lower classes while she sucked their brains out through a flesh straw. It was both good and bad that there were no shortage of them.

Except it was different. Her son wasn't in the City. She missed the little bastard despite all the frustration of handling him, raising him. He was hers and it was her responsibility to care for him, to raise him. Here, not all of the heroes were prissy, naive idiots who didn't do a damn real thing in the long run. Many of them seemed determined to help in real ways, the ways she could've used back home. They donated to charities that actually did things, ran soup kitchens, homeless shelters, and generally were the sort of people the League of Honor should have been, but weren't.

It was almost inspiring. Almost enough to make her want to live up to the powers she'd been given. Almost. The thought nearly made her laugh when she noticed it, a derisive snort breaking the silence. She wasn't meant for heroism.

Another small fire flared briefly in the dark room, another cigarette lit.

She stood and walked to the window to stare out at the lights of the City. It was the same, and yet not. Beneath all the glitter, all the shiny, was the same cesspool she'd struggled through every day of her life. Every goddamn day, she thought, and yet she was hopeful despite herself. Maybe this time she could do better. This time, she would do better.

Aw, who the fuck was she kidding?

FINAL NOTES ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER: I warn in advance that there will be much cursing and much nsfw-ness. I'll do my best to avoid anything remotely questionable with anyone underage! \o/

c&c, app

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