Category 5
It's been a heckuva week.
My classes have been good. I've been selling beaded lanyards to teachers for their ids. Everything in my life is okey-dokey.
Ryan is going through a little hell right now. Sparing the long details, he's worked for a company for 6 and 1/2 years. He was hired as a graphic designer. Now, he's the spokesman for the company to national and international aeronautics magazines, he designed and created the company's freaking HUGE exhibit which is shown once a year at the national trade show (it has a 20 foot in diameter globe, planes flying around it, and the bottom part is a showcase in the round of all of the company's products- it really does look like a large moonlander with the Earth atop it). He manages people, coordinates schedules, he's taking on an intern (the president of the company's niece), and oh yeah, he does all the graphic design work in creating the ads. Everything he does fits under the title of Marketing Director. Which he is. But the company refuses to change his title because "some people wouldn't understand or agree with it". Bastards. He's gone for a week to the national tradeshow and his boss/the president said he felt like coming home a day early. Which means Ryan and the other two guys have to do his share of the work in striking the exhibit. Ryan had to give up going to the wedding of his nephew for this. He flew out at 12:30. The wedding was at 3. There was no way he could've gotten a different flight or gone tomorrow or Monday. He's one of less than a handful of people with the know-how and experience to do what needs to be done for the tradeshow exhibit. With so little thanks... So yeah, work is rough, he's worried for his sister (who's been through the wringer in so many unfortunate ways in the past few months), he's painting his house, and dealing with issues with neighbors (one is an idiot, the other is nice but can't see past his own property and causes problems on Ryan's). My Ryan is not in a good way and I can't fix it. And I don't know how to help...
Speaking of the wedding... this was more like the anti-wedding. The kids are 19 years old. They expect it all. They have no concept of real life. NOBODY WANTED IT TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW (aside from the bride and groom), BUT IT HAPPENED ANYWAY. I was invited. I came to realize last night that Ryan's sis was truly stretched to the max. All of the kids but the two youngest were a part of the wedding party. The 4 year old was fine with grandma and grandpa, but the 1 and 1/2 year old was a different story. This child has SEVERE separation anxiety. If he were in the sanctuary, he would've screamed for his dad, who was a groomsman. I offered to take care of the boy. Ronita said "But you'll miss the wedding..." I asked her if she wanted a nice ceremony or a screaming child. So, mom and dad left him with me. We walked outside in the 90 degree, 70% humidity (being outside helped I was told) for about 20 minutes. We came in when we were both melting. He was starting whimper. We got to the nursery and 20 minutes of full-on screaming and thrashing ensued. He knows me, and with what speech he has "Maaaa, Daaaa!" and gesturing to the door. I kept my voice light and positive, I rocked him, he shook his head, thinking he wasn't getting through to the daft grown-up. We settled in to watch Muppets for a few minutes, he was okay at first, but then more screaming and crying- mucus was coming uncontrollably from most of his facial orephii (orephuses?). Finally, I sat in a rocker with a Winnie the Pooh book. After the second time of reading it softly and holding on to the poor squirmy boy, he stopped wailing. His little arms and hands clung to me, his head began to loll to the side. He regularly gasped out during the 3rd and 4th readings. After that he fell asleep. I kept reading the book, but describing every little thing on the pages in a quiet tone, rocking, rocking, because I know he didn't understand a thing about the book, he just felt my heartbeat at his back, felt the slow rhythm of the rocker, and the quiet whispering roll of my words. His eldest brother (age 20) came in and took him once the ceremony was over. The boy stayed asleep in his arms for probably another 30 minutes at the reception.
I cleaned the nursery- I'd trashed it, VAINLY looking for something to appease him when only Momma or Daddy could. I had a mini-toiletry session in the loo, I felt kinda gross and hot and hideous! :o) I sat with all of the younger boys during the meal, keeping them occupied- but they're the finest boys I've ever met, so they couldn't have caused problems even if they tried. The bride, without going into details, is pretty clueless about a lot, so when she came up to me (I was among the last to get a plate of a sandwich and some veggies) after I'd just sat down to eat, she beamed and said that nobody seemed to be taking pictures, so could I just walk around the reception for a while and take some. I smiled, said sure, let her walk away, and ignored the request. Again, without going into details, this girl has NO IDEA about the ramifications of some of her decisions and the heartache she's blithely caused in the last few months due to her own selfishness. Dammit, because I sweat a couple of pints and held a screaming baby for over an hour, so her wedding wasn't disturbed by it- Sweetie, I'm going to NOURISH MYSELF. People aren't stupid; they'll take pictures. And they did. Because there were only about 6 people cleaning the reception afterward, I helped organize all of the table decorations for storage and threw away stuff. Ronita and her mom (Ryan's mom too) both said very sweet things to me in thanks, but as I was one of the only people technically not connected at all to this wedding, I felt it was my duty to help out in this way. It would've been either me or a family member, you know? I had to giggle, because when I poked into the nursery and said goodbye to Ronita's husband on the way out... well, he's always been pretty stoic, but always very kind to me. He just kinda uncharacteristically beamed at me, thanked me like his wife and her mother did, and threw out "If you ever want me to work on Ryan for you, I'll do it!!!" Oh, gracious... :o)
So yeah, today's almost over, and I'm tired. A friend of mine is having a birthday get-together at a restaurant right now. I was invited, but I told her that because of the wedding I might not be able to show. I got home about an hour or so ago... All I want to do is something relatively quiet for myself. I wish her the most blessed birthday, but after some quiet time with my new bag from April's Asian Gifts (as I was on the east side, I thought I'd stop in at the mall, and they had EXACTLY what I was looking for- a cream brocade with multicolor dragons and flowers large messenger bag with a lot of pockets for pretty darn cheap) I think I'll go back out east later on and see "Paris Je T'aime" which looks like a French version of "Love Actually". I urge you all to check out the trailer.
With the exception of this afternoon, I told Ryan last night that I felt like I was in the eye of a hurricane, that so many around me are going through personal hells. And in comparison, consoling an inconsolable child until he basically passed out from exhaustion is such a little thing compared to what a dear woman like Ronita is going through, what Ryan is going through, the constant pain my father is in, my mother's worry about what'll happen after she retires next May, my sister and her boyfriend's illnesses as of late, and what I work with each week- the homes my students come from. So, maybe it's selfish of me to not feel like going to a restaurant tonight and go to a movie instead, but hey, if they're my friends, they'll understand.
Though I don't get on my knees and fold hands, I do carry on a conversation, however one-sided it may feel, with God, telling Him (or Her, or It- however a Force like that can be defined) stuff I'm sure He already knows, keeping people's interests and worries and fears at heart, hoping for the best for all. There's a gal at the gas station who asked me out of the blue this week if I'd ever had my tonsils out. I said, yes, when I was 20, and thank goodness my Mom was there to help me. If you knew me back then, I dropped about 20 pounds on a monthlong liquid diet and spoke like Marlee Maitlin for a few weeks. She was terrified. I assured her that though it'd be rough at first, if she has someone there (and she will) that it'll all be OK. I also told her that I couldn't take any narcotic drugs- I'm sure those would've helped, aside from making me wretchedly ill, of course! I'm surrounded by people going through changes, facing uncertainties and obstacles, and battling with confusions. How is it I'm feeling pretty charmed in my little life- am I, or do I have some pink-hued blinders on? At any rate, please keep these people, even if you don't know them, in your hearts, or prayers, or positive vibrations, whatever you do to wish someone better- there's a whole bunch. Thanks for reading...
My classes have been good. I've been selling beaded lanyards to teachers for their ids. Everything in my life is okey-dokey.
Ryan is going through a little hell right now. Sparing the long details, he's worked for a company for 6 and 1/2 years. He was hired as a graphic designer. Now, he's the spokesman for the company to national and international aeronautics magazines, he designed and created the company's freaking HUGE exhibit which is shown once a year at the national trade show (it has a 20 foot in diameter globe, planes flying around it, and the bottom part is a showcase in the round of all of the company's products- it really does look like a large moonlander with the Earth atop it). He manages people, coordinates schedules, he's taking on an intern (the president of the company's niece), and oh yeah, he does all the graphic design work in creating the ads. Everything he does fits under the title of Marketing Director. Which he is. But the company refuses to change his title because "some people wouldn't understand or agree with it". Bastards. He's gone for a week to the national tradeshow and his boss/the president said he felt like coming home a day early. Which means Ryan and the other two guys have to do his share of the work in striking the exhibit. Ryan had to give up going to the wedding of his nephew for this. He flew out at 12:30. The wedding was at 3. There was no way he could've gotten a different flight or gone tomorrow or Monday. He's one of less than a handful of people with the know-how and experience to do what needs to be done for the tradeshow exhibit. With so little thanks... So yeah, work is rough, he's worried for his sister (who's been through the wringer in so many unfortunate ways in the past few months), he's painting his house, and dealing with issues with neighbors (one is an idiot, the other is nice but can't see past his own property and causes problems on Ryan's). My Ryan is not in a good way and I can't fix it. And I don't know how to help...
Speaking of the wedding... this was more like the anti-wedding. The kids are 19 years old. They expect it all. They have no concept of real life. NOBODY WANTED IT TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW (aside from the bride and groom), BUT IT HAPPENED ANYWAY. I was invited. I came to realize last night that Ryan's sis was truly stretched to the max. All of the kids but the two youngest were a part of the wedding party. The 4 year old was fine with grandma and grandpa, but the 1 and 1/2 year old was a different story. This child has SEVERE separation anxiety. If he were in the sanctuary, he would've screamed for his dad, who was a groomsman. I offered to take care of the boy. Ronita said "But you'll miss the wedding..." I asked her if she wanted a nice ceremony or a screaming child. So, mom and dad left him with me. We walked outside in the 90 degree, 70% humidity (being outside helped I was told) for about 20 minutes. We came in when we were both melting. He was starting whimper. We got to the nursery and 20 minutes of full-on screaming and thrashing ensued. He knows me, and with what speech he has "Maaaa, Daaaa!" and gesturing to the door. I kept my voice light and positive, I rocked him, he shook his head, thinking he wasn't getting through to the daft grown-up. We settled in to watch Muppets for a few minutes, he was okay at first, but then more screaming and crying- mucus was coming uncontrollably from most of his facial orephii (orephuses?). Finally, I sat in a rocker with a Winnie the Pooh book. After the second time of reading it softly and holding on to the poor squirmy boy, he stopped wailing. His little arms and hands clung to me, his head began to loll to the side. He regularly gasped out during the 3rd and 4th readings. After that he fell asleep. I kept reading the book, but describing every little thing on the pages in a quiet tone, rocking, rocking, because I know he didn't understand a thing about the book, he just felt my heartbeat at his back, felt the slow rhythm of the rocker, and the quiet whispering roll of my words. His eldest brother (age 20) came in and took him once the ceremony was over. The boy stayed asleep in his arms for probably another 30 minutes at the reception.
I cleaned the nursery- I'd trashed it, VAINLY looking for something to appease him when only Momma or Daddy could. I had a mini-toiletry session in the loo, I felt kinda gross and hot and hideous! :o) I sat with all of the younger boys during the meal, keeping them occupied- but they're the finest boys I've ever met, so they couldn't have caused problems even if they tried. The bride, without going into details, is pretty clueless about a lot, so when she came up to me (I was among the last to get a plate of a sandwich and some veggies) after I'd just sat down to eat, she beamed and said that nobody seemed to be taking pictures, so could I just walk around the reception for a while and take some. I smiled, said sure, let her walk away, and ignored the request. Again, without going into details, this girl has NO IDEA about the ramifications of some of her decisions and the heartache she's blithely caused in the last few months due to her own selfishness. Dammit, because I sweat a couple of pints and held a screaming baby for over an hour, so her wedding wasn't disturbed by it- Sweetie, I'm going to NOURISH MYSELF. People aren't stupid; they'll take pictures. And they did. Because there were only about 6 people cleaning the reception afterward, I helped organize all of the table decorations for storage and threw away stuff. Ronita and her mom (Ryan's mom too) both said very sweet things to me in thanks, but as I was one of the only people technically not connected at all to this wedding, I felt it was my duty to help out in this way. It would've been either me or a family member, you know? I had to giggle, because when I poked into the nursery and said goodbye to Ronita's husband on the way out... well, he's always been pretty stoic, but always very kind to me. He just kinda uncharacteristically beamed at me, thanked me like his wife and her mother did, and threw out "If you ever want me to work on Ryan for you, I'll do it!!!" Oh, gracious... :o)
So yeah, today's almost over, and I'm tired. A friend of mine is having a birthday get-together at a restaurant right now. I was invited, but I told her that because of the wedding I might not be able to show. I got home about an hour or so ago... All I want to do is something relatively quiet for myself. I wish her the most blessed birthday, but after some quiet time with my new bag from April's Asian Gifts (as I was on the east side, I thought I'd stop in at the mall, and they had EXACTLY what I was looking for- a cream brocade with multicolor dragons and flowers large messenger bag with a lot of pockets for pretty darn cheap) I think I'll go back out east later on and see "Paris Je T'aime" which looks like a French version of "Love Actually". I urge you all to check out the trailer.
With the exception of this afternoon, I told Ryan last night that I felt like I was in the eye of a hurricane, that so many around me are going through personal hells. And in comparison, consoling an inconsolable child until he basically passed out from exhaustion is such a little thing compared to what a dear woman like Ronita is going through, what Ryan is going through, the constant pain my father is in, my mother's worry about what'll happen after she retires next May, my sister and her boyfriend's illnesses as of late, and what I work with each week- the homes my students come from. So, maybe it's selfish of me to not feel like going to a restaurant tonight and go to a movie instead, but hey, if they're my friends, they'll understand.
Though I don't get on my knees and fold hands, I do carry on a conversation, however one-sided it may feel, with God, telling Him (or Her, or It- however a Force like that can be defined) stuff I'm sure He already knows, keeping people's interests and worries and fears at heart, hoping for the best for all. There's a gal at the gas station who asked me out of the blue this week if I'd ever had my tonsils out. I said, yes, when I was 20, and thank goodness my Mom was there to help me. If you knew me back then, I dropped about 20 pounds on a monthlong liquid diet and spoke like Marlee Maitlin for a few weeks. She was terrified. I assured her that though it'd be rough at first, if she has someone there (and she will) that it'll all be OK. I also told her that I couldn't take any narcotic drugs- I'm sure those would've helped, aside from making me wretchedly ill, of course! I'm surrounded by people going through changes, facing uncertainties and obstacles, and battling with confusions. How is it I'm feeling pretty charmed in my little life- am I, or do I have some pink-hued blinders on? At any rate, please keep these people, even if you don't know them, in your hearts, or prayers, or positive vibrations, whatever you do to wish someone better- there's a whole bunch. Thanks for reading...