"The Lost", Chapter Seven
Title: The Lost
Chapter: 7/10
Fandom: Arashi
Character, Pairing(s): Ohmiya, past Jun/Sho
Rating: Hard R
Warnings: Sexual situations, language, violence, and some heavy emotional trauma. You have been warned- please remember this is AU.
Summary: Do you remember me? Lost for so long? Will you be on the other side? Will you forget me?
They were on the tenth floor of the apartment building, and Jun’s legs still ached from climbing all the way up them. The building was deserted, thanks to the bodies in the front lobby. The infected people had already come and gone. But still, they’d pushed a dresser out of one abandoned apartment, using it to cover the door that led to the stairwell and took bookcases to cover the elevator doors in case anything decided to climb the cable.
There was no power, but there was still water. But before he’d gone to wash his face, Ohno had stopped him. “We don’t know if it’s in the water or not.”
Satoshi went with him through the building, finding bottled water in some of the other apartments that hadn’t been raided. Although there were a dozen apartments on the floor, the five of them stayed in one - to separate would be too risky.
Aiba was in one of the bedrooms with Sho, patching up the cut on his head as best they could with their rudimentary first aid kit. Apparently, Aiba had suffered a concussion while on the basketball team in high school and knew what to look for - so far it didn’t seem like Sho would suffer any permanent trauma.
Nino took a few bottles of water and hit the washroom first. There’d been a family living here, Jun discovered, absent-mindedly poking through magazines on their coffee table. There were still plates of food on the dinner table for a family of four, but he and Satoshi tossed it all in a garbage bag since there were bugs living off of it.
The space was now fairly habitable for the night. Ohno gave Jun a nod before following Nino into what had been the master bedroom. Aiba came out into the living room where Jun was waiting. “He doesn’t have any amnesia. He took some aspirin for the headache, but I don’t think it’s a concussion. But if anything changes, just wake me up.”
The plan was to leave for Chiba City as soon as they could in the morning. It was only 8:00 now, and he wasn’t tired. There was now way he’d be able to sleep as long as he remembered the rest stop. The group of school children, the high-pitched noises they’d made. These were the people the government had abandoned - innocent children, turned monstrous and savage.
Aiba was exhausted, though, after a difficult day of weaving the car around obstacles and getting them to Kisarazu in one piece. He headed for the family’s couch, flopping down. “Wake me around 1:00. That should be fair.”
“Sure.”
Nino and Ohno hadn’t volunteered themselves to keep watch over Sho - Nino probably because he wasn’t that concerned about an outsider, and Ohno probably because Nino needed him too much. Aiba was curled up, almost in a ball, when Jun left the apartment’s living room, sliding open the second bedroom door.
Sho was in one of the children’s beds, looking rather cramped. He was on his side, bandage wrapped around his wound with bits of black hair poking out in every which direction while one of his legs stuck out over the bottom of the bed.
Jun sat down on the floor, moving the little boy’s toy truck out of the way. Sho was breathing evenly, and at least he was able to sleep after everything that had happened. He crossed his legs, letting moonlight stream in through the window. Were people living in his own home now? Taking his things and throwing them away or scavenging them to survive?
The minutes passed slowly as he looked around the bedroom, eyes darting to Sho’s sleeping form. Sho probably would be pissed off to know Jun was in there with him, watching him sleep. But he wouldn’t know, and if the past month had made anything clear to Jun, it was that he and Sho had some unresolved things to deal with.
Being on the run, trying to survive while people clawed at you, children even - yeah, perfect time to wonder what the hell there was between himself and his senpai. They’d been closer, ever since they’d gotten out of the safety center. Sho didn’t look as embarrassed when their eyes met now, at least not as much. And Sho was always the first one to keep him sane when the world continued to show its ugly new face.
It was probably the stress of the situation, he told himself. They were in a crisis, the both of them. It was no use mistaking Sho’s concern for something more. What happened in his dorm room all those months ago was in the past. Sho had clearly been drunk and had woken up ashamed. But Jun had wanted him then. So badly.
He wondered if he’d ever stopped wanting him.
Jun sighed quietly, changing position to pull his knees up to his chest. He took his glasses off, setting them down on the rug beside him. It was pointless. Sho had made his feelings known quite plainly - he wasn’t there the next day when Jun woke up. But their close quarters the past few weeks had been impossible to ignore - sharing bed space, helping one another out. Sho was a comfort when Jun had nothing else. It was hard to stifle it now when he was alone in his mind.
Sho was inches away, moving in his sleep. His lips moved, but Jun couldn’t understand if was talking or not. The blanket shifted as Sho moved onto his back, his t-shirt riding up. Jun had to look away, seeing the slightest hint of toned skin. He shut his eyes. It wasn’t bad enough that a group of school kids had nearly taken Sho away from him that afternoon - now he had Sho all alone, within reaching distance, and Jun couldn’t do anything.
He moved onto his back, pulling a pillow from the other child’s bed. Even though he hadn’t wanted to sleep, he did, not waking until he heard it.
It was coming from the other bedroom, and the walls were thinner than Jun had realized. They’d waited until everyone was most likely asleep. Aiba was probably still passed out on the couch, would be until Jun had to shake him awake. Sho was on his stomach now, pillow over his head.
Only Jun could hear, and he wondered if Nino knew or cared. It made sense, in a way, Jun realized. It had been a harrowing day - and Nino had been really shaken up. They all had been, but today was the first time Jun had seen Nino really showing his fear. Satoshi had had to nearly drag him up to the apartment. Jun didn’t know enough about what the two of them had faced while he’d been in the safety center.
Seeking comfort in someone else, especially in a time like this, was only common sense. And it was Jun who wasn’t sleeping. It was Jun who was listening in, hearing the bed just on the other side of the wall as it creaked. It was something private, something that was none of his business. There was a moan, noisy enough that whoever had done so hadn’t tried to hide it.
Jun thumped his head back against the pillow, willing himself to try and sleep again. The noise continued in the other bedroom, the headboard hitting the wall and still Sho didn’t stir. He rolled over onto his side, facing away from Sho. It’d been months since Jun had been with anyone - in fact, the last person had been Sho himself.
He ignored the noises, but his mind was too active, his memory too keen. The sounds from the other bedroom flooded his ears, mingling with what Jun remembered from that one damned night. He could smell Sho in the bed behind him, recalled the same scent mingling with smoke from that bar they’d spent too long at. Remembered how Sho’s muscles had felt under his fingertips, how his senpai had gasped when Jun’s hand had slipped into his boxers for the first time.
He couldn’t stay in here. Nino and Ohno continued, not even masking their sounds of pleasure, the need for release - letting go of stress with one another. Jun was hard as he clumsily got to his feet. It was 2:00 AM according to the Sanrio character clock near the child’s bed, and he groaned as he stood, the fabric of his jeans shifting.
Aiba. He had to get Aiba so he wouldn’t do something he’d regret with Sho just so close. He kept the pillow with him, hoping it looked like he was carrying it out with him naturally as he slid the bedroom door back open. He shook Aiba from sleep, saying very little as he got up.
There was a gasp from the master bedroom, audible throughout the apartment, and Aiba just snorted. “Can’t blame them,” was all Aiba said before getting off the couch and heading in to keep an eye on Sho.
Jun exhaled, lying back on the couch. He couldn’t control himself, hastily tugging a box of tissue from the coffee table as he hastily unzipped his jeans. He closed his eyes, letting the memories of being with Sho take over. It was just going to make things all the more awkward between them, wouldn’t it? But he didn’t care, remembering how Sho had touched him, how Sho’s breath had hitched when he came in Jun’s hand. The sensation built, months of trying to forget ignored, as he worked his hand up and down feverishly.
Sho’s hands, Sho’s lips, the piercings in his ear - the one nobody probably knew about in his belly button. “Senpai,” he whispered in the dark, no longer caring about where he was. “Sho, oh god, Sho.” He came, out of breath, the cry he wanted to let out getting lost in his throat.
He lay there for a few minutes, trying to remember how to breathe as his body shook. It was hot in this room. Too hot. He cleaned up, tossing the tissues in the kitchen trash can. And not a moment too soon. He was just getting back to the couch when the bedroom door slid open, and Sho emerged.
Jun was still sweating, and he froze. But Sho just came over, holding out his hand. “You left your glasses in there.”
He took them, hoping his hand wasn’t shaking. “Thanks.”
“Didn’t want Aiba rolling over and smashing them.”
“Right.” He rolled onto his stomach, setting the glasses down on the coffee table. “How’s your head?”
“Hurts. But I’ll be alright. All things considered.”
“That’s good.” There was still noise from the other bedroom, and Sho soon deduced what it was.
“Think I’ll go back to sleep. You’re okay out here?”
“Be fine.”
Sho’s eyes darted to the other bedroom door, and he looked far more uncomfortable than Aiba had. “Well, good night.”
“Night.”
Jun shoved his face into the pillow as soon as Sho disappeared into the other bedroom, trying not to scream.
They reached Aiba's house by midday when the sun was high overhead.
Jun's stomach instantly fell to his feet- there were boards over the windows. He'd never been to the house before and he still knew the wood shouldn't have been there. He could see Aiba bristle as he threw the car in park and knocked the wires loose that kept it running. Something was wrong, something had happened.
Aiba was out of the car immediately, at the front door and rattling the handle. It was locked. He pounded on it a few times before moving to one of the windows and trying to pull the board off with his fingers- Jun could hear nails scraping against the grain. It was too much and not enough, and Aiba was already panicked, Jun could see it written all over the man's face-
"Stop, stop," Sho said, touching Aiba's shoulder. "Don't use your hands."
Nino and Ohno hung back, by the side of the car. Jun wasn't entirely sure what to make of them; neither had seemed at all embarrassed at the fact that everyone had clearly heard them last night, and Jun wasn't even sure it mattered to him anymore. It didn't, really- there was just a little jealous ache there that they had each other in the midst of everything, and resignation that Jun was having trouble swallowing down.
Sho handed Aiba what appeared to be a screwdriver- where he'd found that, Jun would never know, and didn't care to ask- and together they peeled the boards off the window one by one, breaking the grain away with force that sprayed ash and dust into the air around them, hanging like a sick cloud and reflecting the sun.
The window was open, and Aiba was already moving inside, but Sho's hands were on his arms. "Wait, Aiba, wait-"
"They might be in there!" Aiba said. The emotion was so thick in his tone that Jun nearly choked on it himself- he couldn't bring himself to move closer yet. And Sho's hands were gentle, guiding, pulling him backwards away from the window.
"They might be," Sho replied, softly. There was a long moment when the meaning sunk in, and Aiba's eyes went wide. "Let me go first, okay?"
Neither of the two still by the car tried to stop them- did they know it was a lost cause? Did they know that Aiba would go in no matter what awaited him there? Neither Nino nor Ohno looked comfortable, or happy to be there; Nino's hand kept straying to brush against the back of Ohno's fingers, like a reassuring graze to convince himself that the other man was still there. They looked tense- expectant.
They'd done it before.
Sho crawled in through the window, avoiding a lamp near to the back of the couch, and unlocked the door from the inside. When the portal swung open, Jun glanced at Ohno, who just nodded slowly. They followed Aiba inside.
There wasn't any movement within the house, and no sign of anyone, but it also didn't look like there'd been a struggle. Everything was still in place, decor unmoved and furniture tidy. It looked empty and deserted- but Jun knew better. It had been boarded; one didn't board an empty house when the threat was against lives, not material things. He stayed near the back of the living room as Sho moved to a room off the side of the hall that was shut.
Jun knew. He knew as soon as he heard Sho's sharp intake of breath. But Aiba didn't, Aiba's eyes were still hopeful, and he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He glared down at his shoes until Sho came back out and closed the door behind him. The older man looked ashen and weary.
"Aiba," he started, and that's when Aiba lost it. He launched himself at the door, half hitting Sho in the process. "Aiba, don't-"
"Let me in," Aiba cried out, clawing at Sho's shoulders. "Let me in, let me see-"
"Let him go," Nino said, from Jun's right. It didn't sound mean. It sounded more like a plea than a command, a sad acceptance.
And Sho stepped aside, with a single glance at the three still standing in the back, allowing Aiba passage in.
Jun didn't go forward. He didn't need to see- didn't want to see. It was far more private than the headboard knocking against the wall last night had been, far more private than the shared glances and fumbling fingers of the two standing next to him were. Ohno started moving around the room, checking in drawers, and Jun felt anger welling in his throat.
"Stop it," he hissed, because he didn't know how much Aiba could hear in the other room. "You can't raid this. You have no fucking soul if-"
Ohno pulled a paper off of the fridge that was held in place with a red magnet and held it up. He didn't look angry at the affront against his character. He started to read the writing scrawled across the paper as he walked back towards Jun and Nino. "May 7th. We have been kept safe in the Aiba household for a three weeks after the infection started in the area. There are thirteen of us here. We have not had contact with the outside since isolating the house."
Sho moved over a bit, to hear what Ohno was reading. "We hear them outside, but none have gotten in. Food is running low, and we cannot pick up anything on the radio. We know what awaits us outside."
There was a noise from the room Aiba had disappeared into, and all four heads snapped up to look. Aiba didn't emerge, so Ohno looked back down to the letter to continue reading.
"We do not wish to attack other people, or succumb to the infection. If you find this note, this serves as our agreement and affirmation that it was our choice to avoid end up falling prey to them. You will find that it has been signed by all thirteen of us."
Ohno stopped reading and held it up- there were thirteen signatures across the bottom of the page. Jun let out a long, slow, shaky breath. For a very long time, the four of them stood in a half-circle, not speaking. There wasn't anything to say, and Jun wasn't sure he wanted to try.
Aiba emerged from the back room. There was nothing on his face- absolutely nothing. Jun couldn't read a single thing on his features. He didn't say anything, and just started up the stairs to the second story. Sho glanced at Nino, who gave a little nod. "We should bury the bodies."
"You-" Jun started, and then stopped, because his throat was clogged with too much.
"Should be done," Nino said shortly. He and Sho moved together towards the half-open door. Jun stared at the doorframe for a long time after they disappeared inside, unsure what to think, what to do- what could he do? The situation was screaming around him, and he felt like he was trapped in molasses, unable to function.
After several achingly long minutes, there was a touch to his elbow- Ohno. "Don't be mad."
The comment seemed to be aimed at Nino. Jun swallowed hard, and Ohno gave him a sad sort of smile. "He did the same thing."
The missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle. There was a reason Nino and Ohno had hung back upon arrival- they did know. They knew exactly what could and would be found inside, but they knew that it had to be discovered on its own. Jun wondered if Nino had been forced to dig the graves himself. He felt a surge of quiet admiration towards the shorter man; he wouldn't say anything about knowing. Some things were best left unspoken.
Jun looked up towards the stairs Aiba had taken, feeling like his heart was breaking in his chest. "I'm going to make sure he's okay."
"Good," Ohno agreed, and his fingers fell away from Jun's arm. Jun took the stairs two at a time, and found Aiba easily once he reached the landing at the top. The other man was sitting on a bed inside a small bedroom, knees pulled up close to his chest, staring blankly at the opposite wall. Jun rapped his knuckles once against the door, but didn't pause before going inside.
Aiba didn't say anything. Jun slid onto the bed beside him, and wrapped his arms around Aiba's shoulders.
"They were heroes," he whispered against the other man's temple. "You hear me? They kept people safe, kept them alive. They didn't give in like everyone else did. They fought. And they won."
The shoulders beneath his arms started to shake, and Aiba twisted in Jun's embrace so that his face was mashed against Jun's shoulder.
"Masaki," Jun said.
"My family," Aiba sobbed against Jun's shirt. His hands moved to wrap around Jun's chest, fingers clutching desperately at the fabric against Jun's back. "Jun-"
"I know," Jun breathed, and didn't even try to stave off the sting in his own eyes. "I know."
For a very long time, they sat rocking against each other, Jun holding Aiba so tightly he wondered if the other man could even breathe. He was afraid that if he let go, Aiba would disappear- that he'd fall away and collapse on himself and cease being Aiba anymore. He couldn't bear that. Jun refused to give Aiba up, not to this, not to the world- he'd keep holding on until his fingers bled, and he wouldn't stop then.
Aiba was too bright. Aiba was light and hope and Jun would cling to that for as long as he possibly could.
"We're your family now," he cried, against Aiba's hair, bangs catching on the wet streaks on his face. He didn't know anymore which tears were his, and which weren't. They all mingled together, especially when he brushed aside hair with his fingertips from Aiba's face.
Aiba's arms tightened a bit around Jun's chest. "Promise?"
"I promise."
"They were heroes, weren't they?" Aiba whispered.
Jun kissed his forehead. "Just like you, Masaki."
Aiba pulled back a bit, and wiped at his face with the back of his hands. His eyes were red and swollen, cheeks puffy, but the spark was still there. Jun would fight anything to get it back all the way again- lungs burning, limbs shaking, he would fight.
"What should-?" Aiba asked, unable to finish.
"Nino and Sho are digging," Jun said as gently as he possibly could. He saw the fresh wave of tears, but there was a grim nod. "You don't have to-"
"I want to," Aiba interrupted. "I want to, I should."
He untangled his limbs and got up from the bed. He was shaky- Jun could see his legs nearly give out, but he stayed upright. With one hand on the wall, Aiba made his way down the staircase, leaving Jun alone on the comforter wet with the salty bitterness of tears. He stayed there for awhile, staring down at the stitching on the blanket.
Finally, he moved to follow Aiba's path down the stairs. The other four were in the backyard, shovels crunching against dirt and rock, and Jun only got one foot out the backdoor before there was a hand in the crook of his elbow pulling him to the side, over and around the the corner of the house to the cool shadows of the small alleyway there.
His back hit the siding. For what felt like ages, Sho just stared at him, eyes wide and searching. Jun could barely breathe, especially when Sho's hands found the sides of his face, brushing across skin there with the barest of touches. Sho's thumb skimmed under Jun's eye, to the tears that were still caught there.
And then Sho sighed, moving his arms around Jun's shoulders and pulling him in. He was warm- warm and comforting, both familiar and unknown, and Jun just wrapped his arms around Sho's chest to bury his face against his chest. Sho's hands had the same neediness, the same pull at Jun's shirt that Aiba's had- and yet not. It was different, infinitely so, wrapped up in something on the other side of the sphere that Jun couldn't quite touch yet.
Sho kissed Jun's shoulder, his neck, and then pulled back just enough so that he could find Jun's mouth. The kisses were nothing like the heady, frenzied ones they'd shared in Jun's dorm room that fateful night- they were languid, unhurried. Done with deliberateness. Jun sighed against Sho's mouth, even as Sho disentangled himself and pressed one last kiss to the side of Jun's lips.
Their foreheads met, and Jun unhooked his arms to touch Sho's shoulders, the front of his shirt, his neck- anything. He just wanted to feel the realness beneath his fingers.
"We should go help," Sho whispered. But doing so required moving, and Jun couldn't do it yet- his brain couldn't catch up, couldn't process. Everything was coming back in a hot rush and it was so loud against his ears he couldn't hear anything else. He leaned in to kiss Sho again, just once, just once more before they left the sanctuary of the shadows.
Sho sighed again, fingers tangling a bit in Jun's hair. "Everyone is waiting."
"Okay," Jun said. He reluctantly let his hands fall back down to his sides. "Let's go. Aiba needs us."
Sho gave him one last look, the tiniest, barest hint of a smile on his lips, and they stepped back out into the sunlight to grab for the shovels and help dig.
--
It was strange, laying people he didn’t know to rest. He’d been to wakes and funerals for his grandparents, family friends, neighbors. But this was different. These bodies were buried with their own hands - there was no cremation, no ashes or bones. But leaving them alone in the house would have been inhuman.
His arms ached from digging, from picking up people they’d hastily covered in white tablecloths from the restaurant attached to Aiba’s home. It was nearly dark, and they were finally done. But they couldn’t stay here. Thirteen people had taken their lives here, Aiba’s family among them.
Nino was in the kitchen of the restaurant, seeing what little food remained. For once, he’d actually been respectful, waiting for Aiba’s permission before scavenging. Ohno was with Aiba, digging through photo albums. Even if there’d been no funeral, even if Aiba would probably never be able to return to this house again, he wasn’t going to leave just yet.
He passed from the restaurant’s kitchen and into the family’s home, seeing Aiba adding the photographs to the family altar with a shaking hand. Ohno sat by his side, hands pressed together to offer silent prayer for people he hadn’t known either. Jun handed the can of beer he’d grabbed from the restaurant to Aiba.
“Thanks,” Aiba said, smiling weakly. “This was dad’s favorite.” Jun did his best to hold back tears as Aiba set the beer down beside his father’s picture, running his fingers across the man’s smiling face. Aiba’s family was luckier than most - they were being remembered, respected. Jun pressed his hands together and offered a prayer of his own - hoping that if they’d met the same fate, his own family was at peace.
Sho returned to the house a few minutes later, bat balanced against his shoulder. Jun met his gaze freely now, gaining strength from it. Nino emerged from the restaurant, quieter than he’d been all day. Sho waited for Aiba to rise from kneeling before the altar before speaking.
“There’s an apartment building at the end of your block. Seems clear.”
Aiba nodded. “Of course. I’ll…” He turned back, eyes lingering on the newly added photographs of his family. “We should stay there.” His voice trailed off, and Ohno stood, putting his arm around him.
“Take all the time you need, Masaki. We’ll wait.”
Jun looked away. Seeing the smiling faces, remembering the picture of his own parents he still had with him - it was enough to make him feel sick. He walked over to Nino, holding out a hand. “Let me help you carry that.”
The other man just nodded, handing over the half-empty case of bottled water he’d found. Having the bit of weight in his arms helped, letting him focus on his sore muscles. The four of them headed outside, giving Aiba a final few minutes to say goodbye.
When he finally emerged from the house, they set off for the apartment block. The building wasn’t as high as the one they’d stayed in Kisarazu, but it would be protected enough if they took the same precautions. Ohno and Nino walked ahead, Aiba leading the way to the new building. The usual bounce in his step was gone, and Jun hoped that some day he’d get it back.
Sho fell into step beside him, and they stayed back from the others. He wasn’t going to get away this time, Jun vowed. “Think we’ve got some things to talk about,” he said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he balanced the water in his other arm.
“You think so?” But there was no malice in Sho’s voice - it was the same jokey tone he always took when he was nervous. The timing had been strange, but at the same time, it had felt so right. And Sho had made the first move. Sho had wanted him, needed him just as much.
He shifted the water. “You have really terrible timing, Senpai.” It had been a horrible day. A little lightness wouldn’t hurt. And Jun could still taste Sho on his lips, the old tarnished memories replaced with something that seemed more meaningful.
“Yeah, I know.” They entered the new building, stepping over bodies in the entryway. It was getting easier to move past them now, knowing that the presence of the deceased meant that the lost ones would stay away. Like the angel of death would pass over them, at least for a few hours. He hoped.
He heard Aiba and the others stomping up the stairs a few floors up already. They’d really fallen behind. Jun felt his heart start to race - they were alone and whatever tension between them had changed. It wasn’t the nervous sidestepping and avoidance that had characterized their behavior since they’d been in the safety center. It was different. All he knew was that the world had gone mad, they were in a fight for their lives, and Sho wanted him.
Jun halted his progress at the top of the first stairwell, the orange glow of the apartment building’s emergency lights casting a strange glow on Sho a few stairs below. “Could we talk?”
Sho looked up at him, looking fairly uncomfortable. “Now?”
“Yes, now.” He wasn’t going to be able to run this time. In the morning, Jun would wake up and Sho wouldn’t disappear. “Is there a problem?”
His senpai just nodded, sitting down on the steps and leaning his back against the stairwell wall. “They’ll notice we’re gone.”
“So?”
Jun could even tell in the low light that Sho’s cheeks were turning pink. “Don’t want them to worry that’s all.”
He sat down, setting the water behind him on the landing. Sho was tapping out a nervous rhythm on his knees while Jun’s pulse rushed. “So what uncomfortable topic would you like to start with?”
“I get choices?”
He nodded. This had been a long time coming, hadn’t it? It was strange to sit in the stairwell of an abandoned building, knowing that death was around the corner, and just talk about whatever the hell was going on between them. But didn’t they need this? Didn’t this remind them that they were still human?
“We can tackle what just happened back there, or you could tell me why you left after…” He was almost grateful Nino wasn’t here to watch this. The guy would be having a field day at their expense. “After finals.”
Sho sighed, running his hands through his hair and mussing it. “I was horrible, I’m sorry.” Well, he’d chosen the second topic of contention. Sho always selected his words carefully, as if he was preparing for some interview rather than just chatting with someone. But Jun expected it. “I was your tutor, okay? It wasn’t appropriate.”
“You weren’t being paid to teach me macro.”
“Yeah, I know.” He made a little frustrated noise, low in his throat, and Jun had to focus his attention elsewhere. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sho’s hands on his face, holding him close. Jun was craving the attention, the human contact.
“Were you embarrassed? Ashamed?”
Sho considered it. “I don’t know. I was hungover.”
“Liar.”
“I was!” Sho vowed. “But ashamed, no. No, I wouldn’t say that. I just…”
“You left,” Jun reminded him. “You didn’t even say goodbye or that you regretted it or that it never happened. How else was I supposed to react?”
Sho looked at him sadly. “You didn’t have to change majors.”
He laughed. “I thought you hated me, senpai. That I really sucked in bed or something.”
“No!” Sho answered, almost too quickly, and Jun laughed again. It felt good to laugh after all they’d been through. His expression changed, more embarrassed than ever. “You definitely didn’t suck.” The stairwell was really hot. The building’s air circulation had to be damaged. That had to be it. Sho took a breath and met his gaze. “I wasn’t ashamed. Or embarrassed. Not really.”
“Then what?” His breath caught.
Sho set the baseball bat on the stair below him, moving forward to pull himself up the remaining steps that separated them. He was kneeling between Jun’s legs, a hand on either side of his hips. He wanted to bridge the distance between them, could already feel Sho’s nervous breaths against his face.
“I was scared. That I…” Sho closed his eyes, looking incredibly troubled. “I was scared about what I was feeling. For you. I was supposed to be helping you, and I got selfish.”
The more nervous he got, the more he tended to try and play it cool. But his voice was shaky when he lifted his hands from his lap and settled them on either side of Sho’s waist, to keep him steady and to feel the warmth of him under his fingertips. “You should be selfish more often. I didn’t mind it then. Or now.”
“But I realized something,” Sho admitted, leaning closer. “It was ridiculous to be scared. This isn’t so scary. What’s happening now, out there…that’s what’s scary.”
Jun closed the gap, covering Sho’s mouth with his own. His senpai was right - compared to the horrors that awaited them out in the world, all the death and misery, this wasn’t scary at all. This felt right. There was no alcohol to influence their behavior now, no grief wrapping around them and squeezing them together. This was all of their own volition. It was what their bodies wanted. What Jun’s heart and his mind wanted.
He tightened his grip on Sho’s t-shirt, letting his feelings come through with every brush of his lips and gasp for air. These weren’t relief-driven actions now - it was pure selfishness. He wanted to memorize everything. He let his fingers slip under the soft fabric of the shirt, finding skin he’d only really felt once before. This time he’d commit it to his memory.
The lost ones forgot - Jun would remember.
Sho lost his balance on his knees pretty quickly, tumbling forward to push Jun back onto the landing. He felt the air leave his lungs with a whoosh.
“Sorry.”
He grunted. “You’ve got your elbow on my spleen or something.”
Sho laughed, moving aside. “I said I was sorry.” He stood, holding out a hand for Jun which he took. There was a clap of thunder, and it nearly shook the whole building. Sho looked a bit shaken, but he went back to retrieve his bat. “Better a storm than people charging up the stairs, right?”
Jun nodded, hoisting the water. He really didn’t want to go upstairs yet, not now that he and Sho had sorted things out. Now they knew what each other wanted, craved. It would be difficult to focus. Ohno and Nino’s attitude, the way they didn’t shy away from expressing what they felt made a lot more sense. When you lost nearly everything, what remained became more precious.
He nearly stumbled when Sho tapped him on the ass with the baseball bat before hurrying up the stairs. Jun could only grin. They’d get through this, him and Sho. Hell, all five of them. They’d make it through. Together.
By the time Sho and Jun reached the apartment the others had deemed acceptable, the thunder was shaking the entire building.
Nino was hunched over what looked to be an ancient old radio when they entered, fiddling with the dials. He looked up when they entered, and Jun saw Sho freeze; he expected something. A jeer, a quip, something- but Nino just sort of smiled and didn't say anything, going back to working on the dust-covered radio, and Sho's shoulders relaxed. Ohno was at the counter in the kitchens, pulling out drawer after drawer. There was probably nothing still un-spoiled in the refrigerator, but the cabinets might net a few prizes.
Aiba was on a small futon, hands clasped between his knees. Jun set the water down on the table, and went over to him, sliding down next to him to put an arm around his shoulders.
"Are you okay?" he asked, in what he hoped was a low enough tone that the others couldn't hear. Aiba was shaking, but there weren't any more tears- yet, anyway. It was a stupid question. Jun had never figured out anything better to ask when it was obvious that things were so very, very far from okay.
"No," Aiba said, honestly, shaking his head. He leaned into Jun's embrace, which was a bit promising. "But maybe eventually."
Jun squeezed his shoulder. He'd give what he could, but there was so much of the sorrow that he couldn't touch, couldn't ever come close to helping.
"We care about you," he said. It was sappy, and clichéd, but at the moment, all that seemed kind of appropriate. And Aiba sniffed, and Jun could see the other man's eyes getting watery again, so he hoped it brought a tiny bit of relief.
There was a long period of quiet, with just the static from the radio hissing through the air, and drawers being opened and closed in the kitchen.
"Anything?" Sho asked.
Ohno slid another drawer shut with a shake of his head. He moved to the door, locking it and setting the deadbolt in place. There was another peal of thunder overhead, so loud that it shook the floor beneath Jun's feet. It was eerie- felt just like the horror movies Jun had never been a fan of. It made Aiba shake more, so Jun tightened his hold around the other man's shoulders to compensate.
"Wait," Nino said, suddenly, and hit the volume dial up. For a second, all Jun could hear was the roar of static, and then, faintly, overlapped with white noise, he heard a voice cutting through the fog. Just a bit- not enough to discern words, but human. Definitely a person- or what used to be a person.
Nino shared a glance with Ohno- something crackled in the air between them, mirroring the lightning flashing outside the windows.
"Can you turn it up?" Sho asked, darting forward. Even from the futon, Jun could see Sho's hands shaking against the counter. "Can you get it clearer?"
"I don't-" Nino started, and frowned, cutting himself off. He leaned forward and tried playing with several more dials. Jun couldn't believe such an old piece of junk was picking up anything- but maybe that was the trick.
Maybe falling back on things deemed 'archaic' was the way to slip underneath the radar of those infected who were still coherent and bent on taking everyone else down with them.
The static grew louder, filling the room, and Jun could hear more of the discombobulated voice.
"-transmission. If you---- boats. Meet the guides if----- location."
"Boats?" Ohno whispered. Jun unconsciously shifted nearer to the counter and radio, as if he could pick out more just by the inch he gained moving forward. The message was horribly static-laced, but there all the same.
"--2359 15-- beach line-"
Sho was suddenly grappling through drawers, pulling through things without regard to what they were. "Address," he hissed. "That's an address."
"-the boats. Guides-- Kujukuri Town."
The message was overcome with static, too much to even hear the voice anymore, even as Sho scribbled down what he could on the back of a bill he'd found in the nearest drawer beneath the counter. All five waited for more, but nothing came. Just static, and the continued rumble of thunder.
Nino hit the volume dial back down, brow furrowed.
"There are boats?" Ohno said again, louder this time. "In Kujukuri Town?"
"It could be a trap," Nino said instantly.
Outside, there were three consecutive flashes of lightning, sharp and bright. They illuminated the far wall and made eerie looking light patterns against the paint, throwing the faces of those standing in the kitchen into sharp relief. Aiba seemed to hunch down over himself, and Jun squeezed the other man's shoulder again. He didn't have too much strength to give- the storm was sending prickles of nervous energy down his arms.
Sho tapped the pen against the counter in an off-beat tempo. "That's on the east coast. You said that Tokyo Bay was blocked off, right?"
Ohno nodded.
But Nino was not easily convinced. He looked anxious, shifting from foot to foot. "It's too easy- it's too convenient."
"The east coast isn't exactly convenient," Jun pointed out.
"I just-" Sho started, and then stopped again. He looked at Nino, defensive and on-edge, then to Ohno, who was unreadable. His gaze shifted to Jun, and he kept it there for several long moments. "I just think we have to try."
There was a particularly loud boom of thunder, and the lights flickered overhead. The collective breath in the room hitched- Jun prayed with everything he had that the power would stay on. He didn't think he could handle camping out in a strange apartment in the middle of the night without knowing the lights would come on with the flick of a switch.
The power stayed on.
"We can't just stay here," Ohno said, and it was a reasonable statement. "We have to get out, or we'll eventually-"
His voice trailed off. Nino kicked a bit at the counters. He seemed mad, but more resigned than vehemently protesting. "What's out there for us?"
Sho looked towards Aiba's bowed head. "Hope, remember?"
There was another very long silence that felt like weights on Jun's shoulders. Finally, Aiba raised his head up. There were streaks of wetness on his cheeks, but his jaw was set- clenched.
"Let's go," he said. "Let's go- we'll be careful. We have to try." Sho's eyes met Jun's again, even as Aiba was continuing. "Right? We have to try!"
The rain was beating against the window, shaking the entire pane.
"Okay," Nino said, and Jun looked up at him in shock. "Okay, Aiba."
Aiba looked confused, too. "Really?"
"Yeah." Ohno was smiling at Nino, something akin to a beam, and Nino sort of swatted in his direction like he was embarrassed. "But let's just sleep now, or something. I'm exhausted."
Jun glanced at the window, and didn't think he'd be getting much sleep with the storm pounding away outside, no matter how much his arms were burning from the digging they'd done earlier that day. The atmosphere was simply too tense- too much.
In the end, Ohno volunteered to stay out in the living room with Aiba. There was a child's room near the bathroom with a small twin bed, which Nino claimed. It left the master bedroom open for Jun and Sho; Jun suspected that it was done deliberately, but Nino wouldn't meet his gaze, and he couldn't get anything from Ohno's expression.
He supposed it didn't really matter- not anymore.
The bedroom was small, but not overly so. Jun closed the blinds because he didn't want to stare out at the lightning the whole night- even so, it flashed through the openings to create patterns on the far wall that flickered out of existence as the thunder rolled through. Sho entered as he was turning back around towards the bed, still covered with a quilted comforter.
Sho pushed the door shut behind him, and the click echoed.
It was stupid to be nervous, given everything. Stupid and juvenile and so inescapably, perfectly normal that it made him feel far safer than anything else did. He was glad he still got goose bumps on his arms when he looked at the other man, glad that his breathing quickened when Sho walked across the room to stand in front of him.
Sho's hand touched his arm, and his fingers were warm. "Hey."
"Hey," Jun replied, swallowing hard. Sho's hands found the side of his face, the hair that had been sticking out for days.
They were so close. Jun looped his arms around Sho's waist to pull him in tighter, so he could feel the heat from the other man's body- it was solid, grounding. Sho's mouth was on his cheek, kissing downward until his lips hit the corner of Jun's, and then he sighed.
"Jun," he breathed. It seemed like the world suddenly snapped into place around them. Jun kissed him, hard- he wanted everything, all of it, anything he could get his mind wrapped around. Sho's hands were at the back of his head, tongue sweeping across his lips to gain access. Outside the thunder was rattling, and it echoed in Jun's blood, burning with desire.
He took a step forward. It was mostly just to push Sho back onto the bed, but it ended up causing their hips to grind against one another, and Sho gasped against Jun's mouth at the sensation. Sho stumbled back, hitting the side of the mattress and falling flat, Jun sliding with to straddle his waist.
It was so much better when he was fully coherent. Without the dizzying effect of alcohol, he could memorize every bit of Sho's skin beneath his fingers, every curve and ridge to the inside of his mouth. It was frenzied to a point- there was a clock ticking outside them, the whole situation like a bomb waiting to be diffused- but the movements themselves weren't hurried.
Jun wanted to take his time. He wanted to internalize everything.
Sho's fingers brushed up under the hem of Jun's shirt, searching. Jun groaned a little when Sho's fingers made contact with his nipples, thumbing the sensitive skin, and nipped at Sho's bottom lip.
And the bedroom window exploded in a shower of glass and rain.
The shock of it sent Jun rolling off of Sho and the bed completely. There was a figure pulling itself up from the ground where it had fallen, soaking wet and covered in something sticky and red. A woman, hair half-back in a ponytail. She opened her mouth and all that came out was a shriek; it was only then that Jun noticed her hands were nearly all bone, and she was limping heavily on her left leg.
Jun's entire body froze in terror.
He hadn't even noticed the fire escape that snaked past the bedroom window along the outer bricks.
Sho's hands were at Jun's shoulders, pushing. "Go, go!"
Jun didn't know if Sho was talking about both of them, or just Jun. But he wasn't leaving alone; he wouldn't leave Sho alone with the creature that was lunging for them with outstretched hands and red, blood-shot eyes.
The woman screamed again, and this time it didn't sound like just a wail- there were sounds. Sounds like words. "-too! You too!"
Jun almost got to the door before it flew open. Ohno was moving faster than Jun had ever seen him move before, paddling hissing as it sliced through the air. The flat end hit the woman's temple, and there was a shower of red against the far wall, painting over the flowers on the wallpaper.
"Fuck," Sho gasped, and his hands were clutched tight around Jun's arm. "Fuck- run!"
Jun did. Aiba was already up and Nino was stumbling out of the second bedroom with his controller already in his hand, and then Ohno was on Sho's heels, slamming the master bedroom door behind him.
"Go," he ordered, sounding shaky.
"It's not safe," Nino agreed. His eyes were very wide. "They followed us, how did they follow us?"
Aiba was at the door, pulling free the deadbolt. "Where do we go?"
"I don't know," Sho answered. His fingernails were digging into Jun's skin, but Jun couldn't really register the pain- there was too much panic screaming through his blood, setting his mind on fire.
They flew into the hallway. Jun didn't have his tennis racket, but there was no time- he couldn't go back. Their safety was compromised. He stumbled as they ran through the corridor to the stairwell, nearly falling down the stairs his feet were moving so quickly. Their footsteps were just like the thunder rolling outside the building; it was so loud against his ears he couldn't hear anything else.
And something was shrieking behind them.
It wasn't much of a scream anymore- it was an angry yell, like a roar, like rage-fueled noises that were so guttural he almost thought it was coming from an animal.
Aiba let out a terrified cry as they reached the first floor. He opened the front door to a barrage of wind, and Nino lurched forward to pull it back shut again- but not before Jun could see the figures outside, black against the silhouette of the water coming down in sheets.
They were waiting outside the building.
"Oh, God!" Aiba wailed, falling backwards into Jun's chest.
"There has to be a back way," Sho said, but he didn't sound completely sure. Ohno was at the rear of the group; he turned and started running down the hall to the opposite side of the building, and Jun followed. If they were trapped inside the building-
-oh God, what if they were trapped inside the building?
The back entrance was partially hidden by a long-dead potted plant. Jun stumbled out into the rain behind Ohno, breath catching in his throat. He couldn't think, he couldn't speak- all he could do was run like his life depended on it. He was pretty sure it actually did.
He focused on Ohno's form in front of him. Through the rain, it was all he could see, and his vision was going red at the sides. He tripped on the curb and fell, and Ohno reached out to grab his arm.
It was only then that Jun turned around to discover that the others hadn't followed them.
"No," he whispered, and it was swallowed by the rain.
There was a rattling, furious cry from the direction they had just come from, and then another, and another- there were so many.
And he was with only Ohno.
"No!" he said again, this one an exclamation that wrenched itself out of his lips involuntarily. "No!"
Ohno was tugging at his arm, because the infected's shouts were growing closer, and Jun's own yelling was alerting them. "Jun, come on!"
Jun couldn't fight, because all the resolve had left his body completely, and all he could feel was the bitter, acid taste of absolute desperation.
Chapter: 7/10
Fandom: Arashi
Character, Pairing(s): Ohmiya, past Jun/Sho
Rating: Hard R
Warnings: Sexual situations, language, violence, and some heavy emotional trauma. You have been warned- please remember this is AU.
Summary: Do you remember me? Lost for so long? Will you be on the other side? Will you forget me?
They were on the tenth floor of the apartment building, and Jun’s legs still ached from climbing all the way up them. The building was deserted, thanks to the bodies in the front lobby. The infected people had already come and gone. But still, they’d pushed a dresser out of one abandoned apartment, using it to cover the door that led to the stairwell and took bookcases to cover the elevator doors in case anything decided to climb the cable.
There was no power, but there was still water. But before he’d gone to wash his face, Ohno had stopped him. “We don’t know if it’s in the water or not.”
Satoshi went with him through the building, finding bottled water in some of the other apartments that hadn’t been raided. Although there were a dozen apartments on the floor, the five of them stayed in one - to separate would be too risky.
Aiba was in one of the bedrooms with Sho, patching up the cut on his head as best they could with their rudimentary first aid kit. Apparently, Aiba had suffered a concussion while on the basketball team in high school and knew what to look for - so far it didn’t seem like Sho would suffer any permanent trauma.
Nino took a few bottles of water and hit the washroom first. There’d been a family living here, Jun discovered, absent-mindedly poking through magazines on their coffee table. There were still plates of food on the dinner table for a family of four, but he and Satoshi tossed it all in a garbage bag since there were bugs living off of it.
The space was now fairly habitable for the night. Ohno gave Jun a nod before following Nino into what had been the master bedroom. Aiba came out into the living room where Jun was waiting. “He doesn’t have any amnesia. He took some aspirin for the headache, but I don’t think it’s a concussion. But if anything changes, just wake me up.”
The plan was to leave for Chiba City as soon as they could in the morning. It was only 8:00 now, and he wasn’t tired. There was now way he’d be able to sleep as long as he remembered the rest stop. The group of school children, the high-pitched noises they’d made. These were the people the government had abandoned - innocent children, turned monstrous and savage.
Aiba was exhausted, though, after a difficult day of weaving the car around obstacles and getting them to Kisarazu in one piece. He headed for the family’s couch, flopping down. “Wake me around 1:00. That should be fair.”
“Sure.”
Nino and Ohno hadn’t volunteered themselves to keep watch over Sho - Nino probably because he wasn’t that concerned about an outsider, and Ohno probably because Nino needed him too much. Aiba was curled up, almost in a ball, when Jun left the apartment’s living room, sliding open the second bedroom door.
Sho was in one of the children’s beds, looking rather cramped. He was on his side, bandage wrapped around his wound with bits of black hair poking out in every which direction while one of his legs stuck out over the bottom of the bed.
Jun sat down on the floor, moving the little boy’s toy truck out of the way. Sho was breathing evenly, and at least he was able to sleep after everything that had happened. He crossed his legs, letting moonlight stream in through the window. Were people living in his own home now? Taking his things and throwing them away or scavenging them to survive?
The minutes passed slowly as he looked around the bedroom, eyes darting to Sho’s sleeping form. Sho probably would be pissed off to know Jun was in there with him, watching him sleep. But he wouldn’t know, and if the past month had made anything clear to Jun, it was that he and Sho had some unresolved things to deal with.
Being on the run, trying to survive while people clawed at you, children even - yeah, perfect time to wonder what the hell there was between himself and his senpai. They’d been closer, ever since they’d gotten out of the safety center. Sho didn’t look as embarrassed when their eyes met now, at least not as much. And Sho was always the first one to keep him sane when the world continued to show its ugly new face.
It was probably the stress of the situation, he told himself. They were in a crisis, the both of them. It was no use mistaking Sho’s concern for something more. What happened in his dorm room all those months ago was in the past. Sho had clearly been drunk and had woken up ashamed. But Jun had wanted him then. So badly.
He wondered if he’d ever stopped wanting him.
Jun sighed quietly, changing position to pull his knees up to his chest. He took his glasses off, setting them down on the rug beside him. It was pointless. Sho had made his feelings known quite plainly - he wasn’t there the next day when Jun woke up. But their close quarters the past few weeks had been impossible to ignore - sharing bed space, helping one another out. Sho was a comfort when Jun had nothing else. It was hard to stifle it now when he was alone in his mind.
Sho was inches away, moving in his sleep. His lips moved, but Jun couldn’t understand if was talking or not. The blanket shifted as Sho moved onto his back, his t-shirt riding up. Jun had to look away, seeing the slightest hint of toned skin. He shut his eyes. It wasn’t bad enough that a group of school kids had nearly taken Sho away from him that afternoon - now he had Sho all alone, within reaching distance, and Jun couldn’t do anything.
He moved onto his back, pulling a pillow from the other child’s bed. Even though he hadn’t wanted to sleep, he did, not waking until he heard it.
It was coming from the other bedroom, and the walls were thinner than Jun had realized. They’d waited until everyone was most likely asleep. Aiba was probably still passed out on the couch, would be until Jun had to shake him awake. Sho was on his stomach now, pillow over his head.
Only Jun could hear, and he wondered if Nino knew or cared. It made sense, in a way, Jun realized. It had been a harrowing day - and Nino had been really shaken up. They all had been, but today was the first time Jun had seen Nino really showing his fear. Satoshi had had to nearly drag him up to the apartment. Jun didn’t know enough about what the two of them had faced while he’d been in the safety center.
Seeking comfort in someone else, especially in a time like this, was only common sense. And it was Jun who wasn’t sleeping. It was Jun who was listening in, hearing the bed just on the other side of the wall as it creaked. It was something private, something that was none of his business. There was a moan, noisy enough that whoever had done so hadn’t tried to hide it.
Jun thumped his head back against the pillow, willing himself to try and sleep again. The noise continued in the other bedroom, the headboard hitting the wall and still Sho didn’t stir. He rolled over onto his side, facing away from Sho. It’d been months since Jun had been with anyone - in fact, the last person had been Sho himself.
He ignored the noises, but his mind was too active, his memory too keen. The sounds from the other bedroom flooded his ears, mingling with what Jun remembered from that one damned night. He could smell Sho in the bed behind him, recalled the same scent mingling with smoke from that bar they’d spent too long at. Remembered how Sho’s muscles had felt under his fingertips, how his senpai had gasped when Jun’s hand had slipped into his boxers for the first time.
He couldn’t stay in here. Nino and Ohno continued, not even masking their sounds of pleasure, the need for release - letting go of stress with one another. Jun was hard as he clumsily got to his feet. It was 2:00 AM according to the Sanrio character clock near the child’s bed, and he groaned as he stood, the fabric of his jeans shifting.
Aiba. He had to get Aiba so he wouldn’t do something he’d regret with Sho just so close. He kept the pillow with him, hoping it looked like he was carrying it out with him naturally as he slid the bedroom door back open. He shook Aiba from sleep, saying very little as he got up.
There was a gasp from the master bedroom, audible throughout the apartment, and Aiba just snorted. “Can’t blame them,” was all Aiba said before getting off the couch and heading in to keep an eye on Sho.
Jun exhaled, lying back on the couch. He couldn’t control himself, hastily tugging a box of tissue from the coffee table as he hastily unzipped his jeans. He closed his eyes, letting the memories of being with Sho take over. It was just going to make things all the more awkward between them, wouldn’t it? But he didn’t care, remembering how Sho had touched him, how Sho’s breath had hitched when he came in Jun’s hand. The sensation built, months of trying to forget ignored, as he worked his hand up and down feverishly.
Sho’s hands, Sho’s lips, the piercings in his ear - the one nobody probably knew about in his belly button. “Senpai,” he whispered in the dark, no longer caring about where he was. “Sho, oh god, Sho.” He came, out of breath, the cry he wanted to let out getting lost in his throat.
He lay there for a few minutes, trying to remember how to breathe as his body shook. It was hot in this room. Too hot. He cleaned up, tossing the tissues in the kitchen trash can. And not a moment too soon. He was just getting back to the couch when the bedroom door slid open, and Sho emerged.
Jun was still sweating, and he froze. But Sho just came over, holding out his hand. “You left your glasses in there.”
He took them, hoping his hand wasn’t shaking. “Thanks.”
“Didn’t want Aiba rolling over and smashing them.”
“Right.” He rolled onto his stomach, setting the glasses down on the coffee table. “How’s your head?”
“Hurts. But I’ll be alright. All things considered.”
“That’s good.” There was still noise from the other bedroom, and Sho soon deduced what it was.
“Think I’ll go back to sleep. You’re okay out here?”
“Be fine.”
Sho’s eyes darted to the other bedroom door, and he looked far more uncomfortable than Aiba had. “Well, good night.”
“Night.”
Jun shoved his face into the pillow as soon as Sho disappeared into the other bedroom, trying not to scream.
They reached Aiba's house by midday when the sun was high overhead.
Jun's stomach instantly fell to his feet- there were boards over the windows. He'd never been to the house before and he still knew the wood shouldn't have been there. He could see Aiba bristle as he threw the car in park and knocked the wires loose that kept it running. Something was wrong, something had happened.
Aiba was out of the car immediately, at the front door and rattling the handle. It was locked. He pounded on it a few times before moving to one of the windows and trying to pull the board off with his fingers- Jun could hear nails scraping against the grain. It was too much and not enough, and Aiba was already panicked, Jun could see it written all over the man's face-
"Stop, stop," Sho said, touching Aiba's shoulder. "Don't use your hands."
Nino and Ohno hung back, by the side of the car. Jun wasn't entirely sure what to make of them; neither had seemed at all embarrassed at the fact that everyone had clearly heard them last night, and Jun wasn't even sure it mattered to him anymore. It didn't, really- there was just a little jealous ache there that they had each other in the midst of everything, and resignation that Jun was having trouble swallowing down.
Sho handed Aiba what appeared to be a screwdriver- where he'd found that, Jun would never know, and didn't care to ask- and together they peeled the boards off the window one by one, breaking the grain away with force that sprayed ash and dust into the air around them, hanging like a sick cloud and reflecting the sun.
The window was open, and Aiba was already moving inside, but Sho's hands were on his arms. "Wait, Aiba, wait-"
"They might be in there!" Aiba said. The emotion was so thick in his tone that Jun nearly choked on it himself- he couldn't bring himself to move closer yet. And Sho's hands were gentle, guiding, pulling him backwards away from the window.
"They might be," Sho replied, softly. There was a long moment when the meaning sunk in, and Aiba's eyes went wide. "Let me go first, okay?"
Neither of the two still by the car tried to stop them- did they know it was a lost cause? Did they know that Aiba would go in no matter what awaited him there? Neither Nino nor Ohno looked comfortable, or happy to be there; Nino's hand kept straying to brush against the back of Ohno's fingers, like a reassuring graze to convince himself that the other man was still there. They looked tense- expectant.
They'd done it before.
Sho crawled in through the window, avoiding a lamp near to the back of the couch, and unlocked the door from the inside. When the portal swung open, Jun glanced at Ohno, who just nodded slowly. They followed Aiba inside.
There wasn't any movement within the house, and no sign of anyone, but it also didn't look like there'd been a struggle. Everything was still in place, decor unmoved and furniture tidy. It looked empty and deserted- but Jun knew better. It had been boarded; one didn't board an empty house when the threat was against lives, not material things. He stayed near the back of the living room as Sho moved to a room off the side of the hall that was shut.
Jun knew. He knew as soon as he heard Sho's sharp intake of breath. But Aiba didn't, Aiba's eyes were still hopeful, and he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He glared down at his shoes until Sho came back out and closed the door behind him. The older man looked ashen and weary.
"Aiba," he started, and that's when Aiba lost it. He launched himself at the door, half hitting Sho in the process. "Aiba, don't-"
"Let me in," Aiba cried out, clawing at Sho's shoulders. "Let me in, let me see-"
"Let him go," Nino said, from Jun's right. It didn't sound mean. It sounded more like a plea than a command, a sad acceptance.
And Sho stepped aside, with a single glance at the three still standing in the back, allowing Aiba passage in.
Jun didn't go forward. He didn't need to see- didn't want to see. It was far more private than the headboard knocking against the wall last night had been, far more private than the shared glances and fumbling fingers of the two standing next to him were. Ohno started moving around the room, checking in drawers, and Jun felt anger welling in his throat.
"Stop it," he hissed, because he didn't know how much Aiba could hear in the other room. "You can't raid this. You have no fucking soul if-"
Ohno pulled a paper off of the fridge that was held in place with a red magnet and held it up. He didn't look angry at the affront against his character. He started to read the writing scrawled across the paper as he walked back towards Jun and Nino. "May 7th. We have been kept safe in the Aiba household for a three weeks after the infection started in the area. There are thirteen of us here. We have not had contact with the outside since isolating the house."
Sho moved over a bit, to hear what Ohno was reading. "We hear them outside, but none have gotten in. Food is running low, and we cannot pick up anything on the radio. We know what awaits us outside."
There was a noise from the room Aiba had disappeared into, and all four heads snapped up to look. Aiba didn't emerge, so Ohno looked back down to the letter to continue reading.
"We do not wish to attack other people, or succumb to the infection. If you find this note, this serves as our agreement and affirmation that it was our choice to avoid end up falling prey to them. You will find that it has been signed by all thirteen of us."
Ohno stopped reading and held it up- there were thirteen signatures across the bottom of the page. Jun let out a long, slow, shaky breath. For a very long time, the four of them stood in a half-circle, not speaking. There wasn't anything to say, and Jun wasn't sure he wanted to try.
Aiba emerged from the back room. There was nothing on his face- absolutely nothing. Jun couldn't read a single thing on his features. He didn't say anything, and just started up the stairs to the second story. Sho glanced at Nino, who gave a little nod. "We should bury the bodies."
"You-" Jun started, and then stopped, because his throat was clogged with too much.
"Should be done," Nino said shortly. He and Sho moved together towards the half-open door. Jun stared at the doorframe for a long time after they disappeared inside, unsure what to think, what to do- what could he do? The situation was screaming around him, and he felt like he was trapped in molasses, unable to function.
After several achingly long minutes, there was a touch to his elbow- Ohno. "Don't be mad."
The comment seemed to be aimed at Nino. Jun swallowed hard, and Ohno gave him a sad sort of smile. "He did the same thing."
The missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle. There was a reason Nino and Ohno had hung back upon arrival- they did know. They knew exactly what could and would be found inside, but they knew that it had to be discovered on its own. Jun wondered if Nino had been forced to dig the graves himself. He felt a surge of quiet admiration towards the shorter man; he wouldn't say anything about knowing. Some things were best left unspoken.
Jun looked up towards the stairs Aiba had taken, feeling like his heart was breaking in his chest. "I'm going to make sure he's okay."
"Good," Ohno agreed, and his fingers fell away from Jun's arm. Jun took the stairs two at a time, and found Aiba easily once he reached the landing at the top. The other man was sitting on a bed inside a small bedroom, knees pulled up close to his chest, staring blankly at the opposite wall. Jun rapped his knuckles once against the door, but didn't pause before going inside.
Aiba didn't say anything. Jun slid onto the bed beside him, and wrapped his arms around Aiba's shoulders.
"They were heroes," he whispered against the other man's temple. "You hear me? They kept people safe, kept them alive. They didn't give in like everyone else did. They fought. And they won."
The shoulders beneath his arms started to shake, and Aiba twisted in Jun's embrace so that his face was mashed against Jun's shoulder.
"Masaki," Jun said.
"My family," Aiba sobbed against Jun's shirt. His hands moved to wrap around Jun's chest, fingers clutching desperately at the fabric against Jun's back. "Jun-"
"I know," Jun breathed, and didn't even try to stave off the sting in his own eyes. "I know."
For a very long time, they sat rocking against each other, Jun holding Aiba so tightly he wondered if the other man could even breathe. He was afraid that if he let go, Aiba would disappear- that he'd fall away and collapse on himself and cease being Aiba anymore. He couldn't bear that. Jun refused to give Aiba up, not to this, not to the world- he'd keep holding on until his fingers bled, and he wouldn't stop then.
Aiba was too bright. Aiba was light and hope and Jun would cling to that for as long as he possibly could.
"We're your family now," he cried, against Aiba's hair, bangs catching on the wet streaks on his face. He didn't know anymore which tears were his, and which weren't. They all mingled together, especially when he brushed aside hair with his fingertips from Aiba's face.
Aiba's arms tightened a bit around Jun's chest. "Promise?"
"I promise."
"They were heroes, weren't they?" Aiba whispered.
Jun kissed his forehead. "Just like you, Masaki."
Aiba pulled back a bit, and wiped at his face with the back of his hands. His eyes were red and swollen, cheeks puffy, but the spark was still there. Jun would fight anything to get it back all the way again- lungs burning, limbs shaking, he would fight.
"What should-?" Aiba asked, unable to finish.
"Nino and Sho are digging," Jun said as gently as he possibly could. He saw the fresh wave of tears, but there was a grim nod. "You don't have to-"
"I want to," Aiba interrupted. "I want to, I should."
He untangled his limbs and got up from the bed. He was shaky- Jun could see his legs nearly give out, but he stayed upright. With one hand on the wall, Aiba made his way down the staircase, leaving Jun alone on the comforter wet with the salty bitterness of tears. He stayed there for awhile, staring down at the stitching on the blanket.
Finally, he moved to follow Aiba's path down the stairs. The other four were in the backyard, shovels crunching against dirt and rock, and Jun only got one foot out the backdoor before there was a hand in the crook of his elbow pulling him to the side, over and around the the corner of the house to the cool shadows of the small alleyway there.
His back hit the siding. For what felt like ages, Sho just stared at him, eyes wide and searching. Jun could barely breathe, especially when Sho's hands found the sides of his face, brushing across skin there with the barest of touches. Sho's thumb skimmed under Jun's eye, to the tears that were still caught there.
And then Sho sighed, moving his arms around Jun's shoulders and pulling him in. He was warm- warm and comforting, both familiar and unknown, and Jun just wrapped his arms around Sho's chest to bury his face against his chest. Sho's hands had the same neediness, the same pull at Jun's shirt that Aiba's had- and yet not. It was different, infinitely so, wrapped up in something on the other side of the sphere that Jun couldn't quite touch yet.
Sho kissed Jun's shoulder, his neck, and then pulled back just enough so that he could find Jun's mouth. The kisses were nothing like the heady, frenzied ones they'd shared in Jun's dorm room that fateful night- they were languid, unhurried. Done with deliberateness. Jun sighed against Sho's mouth, even as Sho disentangled himself and pressed one last kiss to the side of Jun's lips.
Their foreheads met, and Jun unhooked his arms to touch Sho's shoulders, the front of his shirt, his neck- anything. He just wanted to feel the realness beneath his fingers.
"We should go help," Sho whispered. But doing so required moving, and Jun couldn't do it yet- his brain couldn't catch up, couldn't process. Everything was coming back in a hot rush and it was so loud against his ears he couldn't hear anything else. He leaned in to kiss Sho again, just once, just once more before they left the sanctuary of the shadows.
Sho sighed again, fingers tangling a bit in Jun's hair. "Everyone is waiting."
"Okay," Jun said. He reluctantly let his hands fall back down to his sides. "Let's go. Aiba needs us."
Sho gave him one last look, the tiniest, barest hint of a smile on his lips, and they stepped back out into the sunlight to grab for the shovels and help dig.
--
It was strange, laying people he didn’t know to rest. He’d been to wakes and funerals for his grandparents, family friends, neighbors. But this was different. These bodies were buried with their own hands - there was no cremation, no ashes or bones. But leaving them alone in the house would have been inhuman.
His arms ached from digging, from picking up people they’d hastily covered in white tablecloths from the restaurant attached to Aiba’s home. It was nearly dark, and they were finally done. But they couldn’t stay here. Thirteen people had taken their lives here, Aiba’s family among them.
Nino was in the kitchen of the restaurant, seeing what little food remained. For once, he’d actually been respectful, waiting for Aiba’s permission before scavenging. Ohno was with Aiba, digging through photo albums. Even if there’d been no funeral, even if Aiba would probably never be able to return to this house again, he wasn’t going to leave just yet.
He passed from the restaurant’s kitchen and into the family’s home, seeing Aiba adding the photographs to the family altar with a shaking hand. Ohno sat by his side, hands pressed together to offer silent prayer for people he hadn’t known either. Jun handed the can of beer he’d grabbed from the restaurant to Aiba.
“Thanks,” Aiba said, smiling weakly. “This was dad’s favorite.” Jun did his best to hold back tears as Aiba set the beer down beside his father’s picture, running his fingers across the man’s smiling face. Aiba’s family was luckier than most - they were being remembered, respected. Jun pressed his hands together and offered a prayer of his own - hoping that if they’d met the same fate, his own family was at peace.
Sho returned to the house a few minutes later, bat balanced against his shoulder. Jun met his gaze freely now, gaining strength from it. Nino emerged from the restaurant, quieter than he’d been all day. Sho waited for Aiba to rise from kneeling before the altar before speaking.
“There’s an apartment building at the end of your block. Seems clear.”
Aiba nodded. “Of course. I’ll…” He turned back, eyes lingering on the newly added photographs of his family. “We should stay there.” His voice trailed off, and Ohno stood, putting his arm around him.
“Take all the time you need, Masaki. We’ll wait.”
Jun looked away. Seeing the smiling faces, remembering the picture of his own parents he still had with him - it was enough to make him feel sick. He walked over to Nino, holding out a hand. “Let me help you carry that.”
The other man just nodded, handing over the half-empty case of bottled water he’d found. Having the bit of weight in his arms helped, letting him focus on his sore muscles. The four of them headed outside, giving Aiba a final few minutes to say goodbye.
When he finally emerged from the house, they set off for the apartment block. The building wasn’t as high as the one they’d stayed in Kisarazu, but it would be protected enough if they took the same precautions. Ohno and Nino walked ahead, Aiba leading the way to the new building. The usual bounce in his step was gone, and Jun hoped that some day he’d get it back.
Sho fell into step beside him, and they stayed back from the others. He wasn’t going to get away this time, Jun vowed. “Think we’ve got some things to talk about,” he said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he balanced the water in his other arm.
“You think so?” But there was no malice in Sho’s voice - it was the same jokey tone he always took when he was nervous. The timing had been strange, but at the same time, it had felt so right. And Sho had made the first move. Sho had wanted him, needed him just as much.
He shifted the water. “You have really terrible timing, Senpai.” It had been a horrible day. A little lightness wouldn’t hurt. And Jun could still taste Sho on his lips, the old tarnished memories replaced with something that seemed more meaningful.
“Yeah, I know.” They entered the new building, stepping over bodies in the entryway. It was getting easier to move past them now, knowing that the presence of the deceased meant that the lost ones would stay away. Like the angel of death would pass over them, at least for a few hours. He hoped.
He heard Aiba and the others stomping up the stairs a few floors up already. They’d really fallen behind. Jun felt his heart start to race - they were alone and whatever tension between them had changed. It wasn’t the nervous sidestepping and avoidance that had characterized their behavior since they’d been in the safety center. It was different. All he knew was that the world had gone mad, they were in a fight for their lives, and Sho wanted him.
Jun halted his progress at the top of the first stairwell, the orange glow of the apartment building’s emergency lights casting a strange glow on Sho a few stairs below. “Could we talk?”
Sho looked up at him, looking fairly uncomfortable. “Now?”
“Yes, now.” He wasn’t going to be able to run this time. In the morning, Jun would wake up and Sho wouldn’t disappear. “Is there a problem?”
His senpai just nodded, sitting down on the steps and leaning his back against the stairwell wall. “They’ll notice we’re gone.”
“So?”
Jun could even tell in the low light that Sho’s cheeks were turning pink. “Don’t want them to worry that’s all.”
He sat down, setting the water behind him on the landing. Sho was tapping out a nervous rhythm on his knees while Jun’s pulse rushed. “So what uncomfortable topic would you like to start with?”
“I get choices?”
He nodded. This had been a long time coming, hadn’t it? It was strange to sit in the stairwell of an abandoned building, knowing that death was around the corner, and just talk about whatever the hell was going on between them. But didn’t they need this? Didn’t this remind them that they were still human?
“We can tackle what just happened back there, or you could tell me why you left after…” He was almost grateful Nino wasn’t here to watch this. The guy would be having a field day at their expense. “After finals.”
Sho sighed, running his hands through his hair and mussing it. “I was horrible, I’m sorry.” Well, he’d chosen the second topic of contention. Sho always selected his words carefully, as if he was preparing for some interview rather than just chatting with someone. But Jun expected it. “I was your tutor, okay? It wasn’t appropriate.”
“You weren’t being paid to teach me macro.”
“Yeah, I know.” He made a little frustrated noise, low in his throat, and Jun had to focus his attention elsewhere. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sho’s hands on his face, holding him close. Jun was craving the attention, the human contact.
“Were you embarrassed? Ashamed?”
Sho considered it. “I don’t know. I was hungover.”
“Liar.”
“I was!” Sho vowed. “But ashamed, no. No, I wouldn’t say that. I just…”
“You left,” Jun reminded him. “You didn’t even say goodbye or that you regretted it or that it never happened. How else was I supposed to react?”
Sho looked at him sadly. “You didn’t have to change majors.”
He laughed. “I thought you hated me, senpai. That I really sucked in bed or something.”
“No!” Sho answered, almost too quickly, and Jun laughed again. It felt good to laugh after all they’d been through. His expression changed, more embarrassed than ever. “You definitely didn’t suck.” The stairwell was really hot. The building’s air circulation had to be damaged. That had to be it. Sho took a breath and met his gaze. “I wasn’t ashamed. Or embarrassed. Not really.”
“Then what?” His breath caught.
Sho set the baseball bat on the stair below him, moving forward to pull himself up the remaining steps that separated them. He was kneeling between Jun’s legs, a hand on either side of his hips. He wanted to bridge the distance between them, could already feel Sho’s nervous breaths against his face.
“I was scared. That I…” Sho closed his eyes, looking incredibly troubled. “I was scared about what I was feeling. For you. I was supposed to be helping you, and I got selfish.”
The more nervous he got, the more he tended to try and play it cool. But his voice was shaky when he lifted his hands from his lap and settled them on either side of Sho’s waist, to keep him steady and to feel the warmth of him under his fingertips. “You should be selfish more often. I didn’t mind it then. Or now.”
“But I realized something,” Sho admitted, leaning closer. “It was ridiculous to be scared. This isn’t so scary. What’s happening now, out there…that’s what’s scary.”
Jun closed the gap, covering Sho’s mouth with his own. His senpai was right - compared to the horrors that awaited them out in the world, all the death and misery, this wasn’t scary at all. This felt right. There was no alcohol to influence their behavior now, no grief wrapping around them and squeezing them together. This was all of their own volition. It was what their bodies wanted. What Jun’s heart and his mind wanted.
He tightened his grip on Sho’s t-shirt, letting his feelings come through with every brush of his lips and gasp for air. These weren’t relief-driven actions now - it was pure selfishness. He wanted to memorize everything. He let his fingers slip under the soft fabric of the shirt, finding skin he’d only really felt once before. This time he’d commit it to his memory.
The lost ones forgot - Jun would remember.
Sho lost his balance on his knees pretty quickly, tumbling forward to push Jun back onto the landing. He felt the air leave his lungs with a whoosh.
“Sorry.”
He grunted. “You’ve got your elbow on my spleen or something.”
Sho laughed, moving aside. “I said I was sorry.” He stood, holding out a hand for Jun which he took. There was a clap of thunder, and it nearly shook the whole building. Sho looked a bit shaken, but he went back to retrieve his bat. “Better a storm than people charging up the stairs, right?”
Jun nodded, hoisting the water. He really didn’t want to go upstairs yet, not now that he and Sho had sorted things out. Now they knew what each other wanted, craved. It would be difficult to focus. Ohno and Nino’s attitude, the way they didn’t shy away from expressing what they felt made a lot more sense. When you lost nearly everything, what remained became more precious.
He nearly stumbled when Sho tapped him on the ass with the baseball bat before hurrying up the stairs. Jun could only grin. They’d get through this, him and Sho. Hell, all five of them. They’d make it through. Together.
By the time Sho and Jun reached the apartment the others had deemed acceptable, the thunder was shaking the entire building.
Nino was hunched over what looked to be an ancient old radio when they entered, fiddling with the dials. He looked up when they entered, and Jun saw Sho freeze; he expected something. A jeer, a quip, something- but Nino just sort of smiled and didn't say anything, going back to working on the dust-covered radio, and Sho's shoulders relaxed. Ohno was at the counter in the kitchens, pulling out drawer after drawer. There was probably nothing still un-spoiled in the refrigerator, but the cabinets might net a few prizes.
Aiba was on a small futon, hands clasped between his knees. Jun set the water down on the table, and went over to him, sliding down next to him to put an arm around his shoulders.
"Are you okay?" he asked, in what he hoped was a low enough tone that the others couldn't hear. Aiba was shaking, but there weren't any more tears- yet, anyway. It was a stupid question. Jun had never figured out anything better to ask when it was obvious that things were so very, very far from okay.
"No," Aiba said, honestly, shaking his head. He leaned into Jun's embrace, which was a bit promising. "But maybe eventually."
Jun squeezed his shoulder. He'd give what he could, but there was so much of the sorrow that he couldn't touch, couldn't ever come close to helping.
"We care about you," he said. It was sappy, and clichéd, but at the moment, all that seemed kind of appropriate. And Aiba sniffed, and Jun could see the other man's eyes getting watery again, so he hoped it brought a tiny bit of relief.
There was a long period of quiet, with just the static from the radio hissing through the air, and drawers being opened and closed in the kitchen.
"Anything?" Sho asked.
Ohno slid another drawer shut with a shake of his head. He moved to the door, locking it and setting the deadbolt in place. There was another peal of thunder overhead, so loud that it shook the floor beneath Jun's feet. It was eerie- felt just like the horror movies Jun had never been a fan of. It made Aiba shake more, so Jun tightened his hold around the other man's shoulders to compensate.
"Wait," Nino said, suddenly, and hit the volume dial up. For a second, all Jun could hear was the roar of static, and then, faintly, overlapped with white noise, he heard a voice cutting through the fog. Just a bit- not enough to discern words, but human. Definitely a person- or what used to be a person.
Nino shared a glance with Ohno- something crackled in the air between them, mirroring the lightning flashing outside the windows.
"Can you turn it up?" Sho asked, darting forward. Even from the futon, Jun could see Sho's hands shaking against the counter. "Can you get it clearer?"
"I don't-" Nino started, and frowned, cutting himself off. He leaned forward and tried playing with several more dials. Jun couldn't believe such an old piece of junk was picking up anything- but maybe that was the trick.
Maybe falling back on things deemed 'archaic' was the way to slip underneath the radar of those infected who were still coherent and bent on taking everyone else down with them.
The static grew louder, filling the room, and Jun could hear more of the discombobulated voice.
"-transmission. If you---- boats. Meet the guides if----- location."
"Boats?" Ohno whispered. Jun unconsciously shifted nearer to the counter and radio, as if he could pick out more just by the inch he gained moving forward. The message was horribly static-laced, but there all the same.
"--2359 15-- beach line-"
Sho was suddenly grappling through drawers, pulling through things without regard to what they were. "Address," he hissed. "That's an address."
"-the boats. Guides-- Kujukuri Town."
The message was overcome with static, too much to even hear the voice anymore, even as Sho scribbled down what he could on the back of a bill he'd found in the nearest drawer beneath the counter. All five waited for more, but nothing came. Just static, and the continued rumble of thunder.
Nino hit the volume dial back down, brow furrowed.
"There are boats?" Ohno said again, louder this time. "In Kujukuri Town?"
"It could be a trap," Nino said instantly.
Outside, there were three consecutive flashes of lightning, sharp and bright. They illuminated the far wall and made eerie looking light patterns against the paint, throwing the faces of those standing in the kitchen into sharp relief. Aiba seemed to hunch down over himself, and Jun squeezed the other man's shoulder again. He didn't have too much strength to give- the storm was sending prickles of nervous energy down his arms.
Sho tapped the pen against the counter in an off-beat tempo. "That's on the east coast. You said that Tokyo Bay was blocked off, right?"
Ohno nodded.
But Nino was not easily convinced. He looked anxious, shifting from foot to foot. "It's too easy- it's too convenient."
"The east coast isn't exactly convenient," Jun pointed out.
"I just-" Sho started, and then stopped again. He looked at Nino, defensive and on-edge, then to Ohno, who was unreadable. His gaze shifted to Jun, and he kept it there for several long moments. "I just think we have to try."
There was a particularly loud boom of thunder, and the lights flickered overhead. The collective breath in the room hitched- Jun prayed with everything he had that the power would stay on. He didn't think he could handle camping out in a strange apartment in the middle of the night without knowing the lights would come on with the flick of a switch.
The power stayed on.
"We can't just stay here," Ohno said, and it was a reasonable statement. "We have to get out, or we'll eventually-"
His voice trailed off. Nino kicked a bit at the counters. He seemed mad, but more resigned than vehemently protesting. "What's out there for us?"
Sho looked towards Aiba's bowed head. "Hope, remember?"
There was another very long silence that felt like weights on Jun's shoulders. Finally, Aiba raised his head up. There were streaks of wetness on his cheeks, but his jaw was set- clenched.
"Let's go," he said. "Let's go- we'll be careful. We have to try." Sho's eyes met Jun's again, even as Aiba was continuing. "Right? We have to try!"
The rain was beating against the window, shaking the entire pane.
"Okay," Nino said, and Jun looked up at him in shock. "Okay, Aiba."
Aiba looked confused, too. "Really?"
"Yeah." Ohno was smiling at Nino, something akin to a beam, and Nino sort of swatted in his direction like he was embarrassed. "But let's just sleep now, or something. I'm exhausted."
Jun glanced at the window, and didn't think he'd be getting much sleep with the storm pounding away outside, no matter how much his arms were burning from the digging they'd done earlier that day. The atmosphere was simply too tense- too much.
In the end, Ohno volunteered to stay out in the living room with Aiba. There was a child's room near the bathroom with a small twin bed, which Nino claimed. It left the master bedroom open for Jun and Sho; Jun suspected that it was done deliberately, but Nino wouldn't meet his gaze, and he couldn't get anything from Ohno's expression.
He supposed it didn't really matter- not anymore.
The bedroom was small, but not overly so. Jun closed the blinds because he didn't want to stare out at the lightning the whole night- even so, it flashed through the openings to create patterns on the far wall that flickered out of existence as the thunder rolled through. Sho entered as he was turning back around towards the bed, still covered with a quilted comforter.
Sho pushed the door shut behind him, and the click echoed.
It was stupid to be nervous, given everything. Stupid and juvenile and so inescapably, perfectly normal that it made him feel far safer than anything else did. He was glad he still got goose bumps on his arms when he looked at the other man, glad that his breathing quickened when Sho walked across the room to stand in front of him.
Sho's hand touched his arm, and his fingers were warm. "Hey."
"Hey," Jun replied, swallowing hard. Sho's hands found the side of his face, the hair that had been sticking out for days.
They were so close. Jun looped his arms around Sho's waist to pull him in tighter, so he could feel the heat from the other man's body- it was solid, grounding. Sho's mouth was on his cheek, kissing downward until his lips hit the corner of Jun's, and then he sighed.
"Jun," he breathed. It seemed like the world suddenly snapped into place around them. Jun kissed him, hard- he wanted everything, all of it, anything he could get his mind wrapped around. Sho's hands were at the back of his head, tongue sweeping across his lips to gain access. Outside the thunder was rattling, and it echoed in Jun's blood, burning with desire.
He took a step forward. It was mostly just to push Sho back onto the bed, but it ended up causing their hips to grind against one another, and Sho gasped against Jun's mouth at the sensation. Sho stumbled back, hitting the side of the mattress and falling flat, Jun sliding with to straddle his waist.
It was so much better when he was fully coherent. Without the dizzying effect of alcohol, he could memorize every bit of Sho's skin beneath his fingers, every curve and ridge to the inside of his mouth. It was frenzied to a point- there was a clock ticking outside them, the whole situation like a bomb waiting to be diffused- but the movements themselves weren't hurried.
Jun wanted to take his time. He wanted to internalize everything.
Sho's fingers brushed up under the hem of Jun's shirt, searching. Jun groaned a little when Sho's fingers made contact with his nipples, thumbing the sensitive skin, and nipped at Sho's bottom lip.
And the bedroom window exploded in a shower of glass and rain.
The shock of it sent Jun rolling off of Sho and the bed completely. There was a figure pulling itself up from the ground where it had fallen, soaking wet and covered in something sticky and red. A woman, hair half-back in a ponytail. She opened her mouth and all that came out was a shriek; it was only then that Jun noticed her hands were nearly all bone, and she was limping heavily on her left leg.
Jun's entire body froze in terror.
He hadn't even noticed the fire escape that snaked past the bedroom window along the outer bricks.
Sho's hands were at Jun's shoulders, pushing. "Go, go!"
Jun didn't know if Sho was talking about both of them, or just Jun. But he wasn't leaving alone; he wouldn't leave Sho alone with the creature that was lunging for them with outstretched hands and red, blood-shot eyes.
The woman screamed again, and this time it didn't sound like just a wail- there were sounds. Sounds like words. "-too! You too!"
Jun almost got to the door before it flew open. Ohno was moving faster than Jun had ever seen him move before, paddling hissing as it sliced through the air. The flat end hit the woman's temple, and there was a shower of red against the far wall, painting over the flowers on the wallpaper.
"Fuck," Sho gasped, and his hands were clutched tight around Jun's arm. "Fuck- run!"
Jun did. Aiba was already up and Nino was stumbling out of the second bedroom with his controller already in his hand, and then Ohno was on Sho's heels, slamming the master bedroom door behind him.
"Go," he ordered, sounding shaky.
"It's not safe," Nino agreed. His eyes were very wide. "They followed us, how did they follow us?"
Aiba was at the door, pulling free the deadbolt. "Where do we go?"
"I don't know," Sho answered. His fingernails were digging into Jun's skin, but Jun couldn't really register the pain- there was too much panic screaming through his blood, setting his mind on fire.
They flew into the hallway. Jun didn't have his tennis racket, but there was no time- he couldn't go back. Their safety was compromised. He stumbled as they ran through the corridor to the stairwell, nearly falling down the stairs his feet were moving so quickly. Their footsteps were just like the thunder rolling outside the building; it was so loud against his ears he couldn't hear anything else.
And something was shrieking behind them.
It wasn't much of a scream anymore- it was an angry yell, like a roar, like rage-fueled noises that were so guttural he almost thought it was coming from an animal.
Aiba let out a terrified cry as they reached the first floor. He opened the front door to a barrage of wind, and Nino lurched forward to pull it back shut again- but not before Jun could see the figures outside, black against the silhouette of the water coming down in sheets.
They were waiting outside the building.
"Oh, God!" Aiba wailed, falling backwards into Jun's chest.
"There has to be a back way," Sho said, but he didn't sound completely sure. Ohno was at the rear of the group; he turned and started running down the hall to the opposite side of the building, and Jun followed. If they were trapped inside the building-
-oh God, what if they were trapped inside the building?
The back entrance was partially hidden by a long-dead potted plant. Jun stumbled out into the rain behind Ohno, breath catching in his throat. He couldn't think, he couldn't speak- all he could do was run like his life depended on it. He was pretty sure it actually did.
He focused on Ohno's form in front of him. Through the rain, it was all he could see, and his vision was going red at the sides. He tripped on the curb and fell, and Ohno reached out to grab his arm.
It was only then that Jun turned around to discover that the others hadn't followed them.
"No," he whispered, and it was swallowed by the rain.
There was a rattling, furious cry from the direction they had just come from, and then another, and another- there were so many.
And he was with only Ohno.
"No!" he said again, this one an exclamation that wrenched itself out of his lips involuntarily. "No!"
Ohno was tugging at his arm, because the infected's shouts were growing closer, and Jun's own yelling was alerting them. "Jun, come on!"
Jun couldn't fight, because all the resolve had left his body completely, and all he could feel was the bitter, acid taste of absolute desperation.