My Favourite Toy 10
Junsu had a favourite toy.
It was red, tiny and shiny. With a sharp silver blade that was ready to nick and prick your skin if you dared to touch it.
CHAPTER 10
Yoochun glanced at the man beside him who was smiling as usual and sighed. ‘At least his eyes are lively today,’ he consoled himself.
The psychiatrist he had sent Junsu to have told him that he couldn’t do anything for Junsu right now, short of locking him with some tight surveillance to prevent him from cutting himself again. He had informed Yoochun that Junsu was really clueless on the consequence of his actions. He didn’t need to be consulted in his suicidal tendency, simply because he had none.
Junsu didn’t think that what he did was wrong simply because he wasn’t trying to die and he had harmed nobody else, as simple as that.
And Yoochun knew that changing a mindset that had been ingrained for years would take time. So, he compensated by promising the psychiatrist that he would keep a tight watch over Junsu instead of sending him away to some facilities to ‘cure’ his mental problem.
Not that Junsu minded, of course. In contrast, he was absolutely exhilarated when he was informed that Yoochun would spend more time with him. Yoochun was treated to a glimpse of Junsu’s old personality when the other man practically sparkled when he received the news.
“B, but how about Jaejoong-sshi?” He had asked worriedly when Yoochun revealed to him the news.
Yoochun sighed and opted to pull Junsu into a tight hug instead, feeling the man melting in his embrace and was forcefully reminded on how rarely he had done this to Junsu before. Preferring a quick hug or peck and quick making love so that he could alleviate his guilt and scurry off to Jaejoong faster instead.
“There is no more Jaejoong, okay? There will be only you and me. Jaejoong can find his own happiness…” He murmured those words, partly for Junsu’s sake and also for his.
Junsu wanted to ask more about Jaejoong. Why did Yoochun suddenly leave him? Was it because of him? He didn’t want to make Yoochun sad because of him. Now that he knew that Yoochun wouldn’t leave him, he would… be okay with sharing him with Jaejoong. He really would…
But he could sense the other man’s reluctance to discuss about that subject further, and he knew better than to push his luck and ask too many questions. What if Yoochun changed his mind and found him irritating instead? No, better be a good boy and kept his mouth tightly shut as usual.
“Just… promise me something, Susu-yah,” Yoochun pulled him out from his embrace and cupped his face in his hands to make Junsu look directly into his eyes. ‘Warm hands…’ Junsu thought happily, knowing that he would absolutely be willing to do anything his husband might ask.
“Mhmm.. mhmm…”
The slightly older man touched his still bandaged hands gently and kissed him there. “No more cutting yourself okay? No more hurting yourself. Can you do that?”
The sudden prospect of losing his only toy, the only stable aspect in his life was truly frightening to Junsu. He wanted to pull away from Yoochun, to beg him not to take away his toy… but he realized that if he did that, he would lose Yoochun forever too.
It was him or his toy.
Yoochun could feel the slender man trembling slightly in his arms. Although he understood that Junsu was in the middle of a difficult decision of choosing to let go of that… disgusting habit, he couldn’t help but to feel nauseated that Junsu even needed to feel torn about making such decisions.
But he could do nothing but to hold him close.
“Al… alright…” Junsu finally said and Yoochun released a relieved breath. It had been a struggle to say goodbye to his toy, but Junsu ‘s fear of losing Yoochun for the second time had won. He would be okay even without his toy, he decided. Had he not survived without it before? When Yoochun had first entered his life? As long as he had Yoochun, he would not need his toy.
And as Yoochun smiled brightly at him and kissed him passionately, he knew that he had made the right decision
A/N since I'm happy today and I think that the prev chapter is too short...
It was red, tiny and shiny. With a sharp silver blade that was ready to nick and prick your skin if you dared to touch it.
CHAPTER 10
Yoochun glanced at the man beside him who was smiling as usual and sighed. ‘At least his eyes are lively today,’ he consoled himself.
The psychiatrist he had sent Junsu to have told him that he couldn’t do anything for Junsu right now, short of locking him with some tight surveillance to prevent him from cutting himself again. He had informed Yoochun that Junsu was really clueless on the consequence of his actions. He didn’t need to be consulted in his suicidal tendency, simply because he had none.
Junsu didn’t think that what he did was wrong simply because he wasn’t trying to die and he had harmed nobody else, as simple as that.
And Yoochun knew that changing a mindset that had been ingrained for years would take time. So, he compensated by promising the psychiatrist that he would keep a tight watch over Junsu instead of sending him away to some facilities to ‘cure’ his mental problem.
Not that Junsu minded, of course. In contrast, he was absolutely exhilarated when he was informed that Yoochun would spend more time with him. Yoochun was treated to a glimpse of Junsu’s old personality when the other man practically sparkled when he received the news.
“B, but how about Jaejoong-sshi?” He had asked worriedly when Yoochun revealed to him the news.
Yoochun sighed and opted to pull Junsu into a tight hug instead, feeling the man melting in his embrace and was forcefully reminded on how rarely he had done this to Junsu before. Preferring a quick hug or peck and quick making love so that he could alleviate his guilt and scurry off to Jaejoong faster instead.
“There is no more Jaejoong, okay? There will be only you and me. Jaejoong can find his own happiness…” He murmured those words, partly for Junsu’s sake and also for his.
Junsu wanted to ask more about Jaejoong. Why did Yoochun suddenly leave him? Was it because of him? He didn’t want to make Yoochun sad because of him. Now that he knew that Yoochun wouldn’t leave him, he would… be okay with sharing him with Jaejoong. He really would…
But he could sense the other man’s reluctance to discuss about that subject further, and he knew better than to push his luck and ask too many questions. What if Yoochun changed his mind and found him irritating instead? No, better be a good boy and kept his mouth tightly shut as usual.
“Just… promise me something, Susu-yah,” Yoochun pulled him out from his embrace and cupped his face in his hands to make Junsu look directly into his eyes. ‘Warm hands…’ Junsu thought happily, knowing that he would absolutely be willing to do anything his husband might ask.
“Mhmm.. mhmm…”
The slightly older man touched his still bandaged hands gently and kissed him there. “No more cutting yourself okay? No more hurting yourself. Can you do that?”
The sudden prospect of losing his only toy, the only stable aspect in his life was truly frightening to Junsu. He wanted to pull away from Yoochun, to beg him not to take away his toy… but he realized that if he did that, he would lose Yoochun forever too.
It was him or his toy.
Yoochun could feel the slender man trembling slightly in his arms. Although he understood that Junsu was in the middle of a difficult decision of choosing to let go of that… disgusting habit, he couldn’t help but to feel nauseated that Junsu even needed to feel torn about making such decisions.
But he could do nothing but to hold him close.
“Al… alright…” Junsu finally said and Yoochun released a relieved breath. It had been a struggle to say goodbye to his toy, but Junsu ‘s fear of losing Yoochun for the second time had won. He would be okay even without his toy, he decided. Had he not survived without it before? When Yoochun had first entered his life? As long as he had Yoochun, he would not need his toy.
And as Yoochun smiled brightly at him and kissed him passionately, he knew that he had made the right decision
A/N since I'm happy today and I think that the prev chapter is too short...