Comments | hiddenfacade: Fanfic: Frozen In Time.

hiddenfacade

Fanfic: Frozen In Time.

Oct 07, 2010 02:31

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Final Fantasy XIII or make a profit off of this fanfic.

Notes: I seem to have a fondness for this type of fic. Go figure. I may or may not post more chapters. If I do, this fic will remain a no pairing fanfic. If I continue this will be the format for future chapters.

Warnings: Nothing?

Title: Frozen In Time.

Chapter: 1/?

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frozen in time, fanfic, final fantasy xiii

Comments 5

frkmgnt1 October 7 2010, 13:19:54 UTC

I enjoyed these snippets as small windows into Lightning's thoughts. Good work. Thanks for sharing.

hiddenfacade October 7 2010, 13:21:27 UTC

Your welcome. I enjoyed writing them. (:

sour_idealist October 9 2010, 01:24:34 UTC

Honey... if you knew the grammar was bad, why the hell didn't you fix it? Most of it is fairly easily corrected, too. Honestly, at risk of sounding unkind: This could have been quite good, but you got lazy. Try putting a little more work into it next time?

hiddenfacade October 9 2010, 02:05:46 UTC

The run-ons are on purpose. I just warned for it for people who are annoyed by it.

I picked up this format because it was actually a writing exercise for writer's block, to just get the words out. I decided I liked it enough to use it for fic . . . I suppose I could clean it up.

sour_idealist October 9 2010, 02:17:22 UTC

The problem is that a few semicolons and rearranged commas could mean that they were grammatically correct. You should have cleaned them up a bit before you posted it, really; I strongly encourage you to do it now.

Beyond the grammar question, it's accurate, but in many of them it's just sort of... obvious. Clearly you can expand on the canon; the first two are decent proof of that. I really wish you'd done the same with the later sections, going above and beyond what's clearly there. If you had, it might have been a truly excellent character study; a revised version still could be.