To push it down, back into the depths of my mind where it came from. I can't make it go away. It's always there, always has been. When I'm quiet about it, it is not that it has gone but that I keep prudence enough to keep my mouth shut. Fornately, it's all the same to everyone else. Who's to tell the difference if I do not give any sign away? As ( Read more... )

It's a horrible, selfish emotion. And yet here it is. For someone I have never met, will never meet. I can't. So why do I feel so below her? I know virtually nothing about her, she is never the subject of considerable conversation. I would even venture to say that he avoids talking about her. Yes, with me he does. Perhaps that's part of why she ( Read more... )

Excuse me but can I be you for a while ( Read more... )

I read back on "Forgotten and Terrible Thoughts" and realize how horrible I truly am. This selfish creature that yearns for recognition, to bring others into her pain. How could I have possibly typed that? I hate myself for it. Surely my senpai hates me for it as well. He's read it by now for certain, so deleting it will do no good. And he did not ( Read more... )

(To Nii-san: If you haven't all readyy read the entry I texted you to read, it's the one below this entry entitled "Forgotten and Terrible Thoughts". Thanks ( Read more... )

Just once I wish you'd open your eyes, come out of your own world of just your girlfriend and see the other people who care about you. I wish that everything you said to me when we talked alone actually was true, instead of just empty words. Call me jealous, I know it's a horrible thing and I'm not proud, but I miss my big brother. You used to ( Read more... )

She sits among the pieces ( Read more... )

I've lost it. The one place that I thought would always be there. That safe place that I belonged in. The home that made me feel useful and loved. My home is no longer a place where I feel at ease. I no longer belong. That nook between the stairs the lead into the house and the wall is no longer my place to curl up for a nap. That compartment made ( Read more... )

So much to think over these days. First on my mind is the obvious, of course. It's not either one's fault, the logical part of me knows that. So why won't the rest of me leave it at that? My thought process in itself makes no sense. I digress. Still...why can't I finish what I start? I'm trying, but my attempts are clumsy at best. And then to just ( Read more... )

I'm my own person. My relationship with him is it's own relationship. It's us. It's not...not him and her. He still loves her, I know that. If she were still alive, he'd still be hers. Even though they would be separated by a continent, the distance wouldn't matter. They loved each other. But tragedy and fate teamed up, so now she is in a better ( Read more... )