Truth's Little Hero (cont.)
○✣○“Do you remember the first time we made love?” Jongdae whispered to Minseok.
The two were snuggled in their tent, a small human-being fast asleep in between their bodies.
“You mean the day you magically appeared at my apartment, at two in the morning, out of breath, and very disheveled?”
“That day exactly.”
“After I specifically let you chose out of several women, and ran away when you were under strict surveillance?”
“You guessed it.”
“Of course I remember, how could I forget?”
“Do you remember what I said to you that night?””
“Let’s do it. Let’s just get out of here.”
“Jongdae… We can’t… My fa-”
“What? Your father? Why are you so afraid of him? Just stand up to him and fight him away. You know just as well as I do that he doesn’t see you as a son.”
“No! It’s not that.. We’ll be followed if we do… And you know how many people want to use my work for ill use…”
“Then burn it… Get rid of everything…”
“Jongdae…”
“Or you can just forget about everything and come to a different country with me… We could do it. Just you and me.”
“I do..”
“You know, I never imagined that it would be like this. I never thought we would ever get this far. And end up with a small child.” Jongdae looked down at Yixing’s tousled hair, still bright in the dark tent.
Over the last few weeks, it was safe to say that Jongdae had fully grown attached to Yixing. He cared so deeply for the boy that it was hard to ever let him out of his sight. He always personally made sure to double check Yixing’s chest to make sure it was healing properly.
“We’re like a family, don’t you think?” Minseok reached over and held gently onto Jongdae’s hand.
“A bit dented… But I think we’re the closest thing to it.”
“I don’t want to let him go.” Minseok whispered even lower, afraid that even the smallest of specs could hear him.
Jongdae could feel Minseok’s pain. He could feel the swelling of his throat and the tears that followed from Minseok. But he couldn’t say anything, he didn’t know how to comfort him. There wasn’t anything he could do. It was the right thing to let Yixing go back to his people-where he belonged, yet he himself wanted to keep Yixing by their side. They all got along so well. It was wonderful to even watch life seep back into Yixing’s body, the child even smiled more. He laughed and brought joy to each of them.
Yet what if they were ever caught with the boy? It was only a matter of time before troops run into their path and investigate the boy. He barely knew any of the Ethrean language despite having been given a code name if he were ever asked by authorities.
They were reaching a part in the country where the temperature started to get a bit warmer, but there were more people around. Towns were still in stages of evacuation, and it made Minseok and Jongdae nervous. They knew nothing of the war’s status, who knew if another atomic bomb would be dropped?
“Me neither..” Jongdae whispered even lower, to the point where he wasn’t even sure sound came out, only his moving lips.
“Jongdae..” Minseok shrugged his shoulders, finally finding a way to release his tears. “I’m scared..”
“I am too… I’ve never.. Wanted to protect someone so badly before… Is this.. What it feels like to have a family of your own?”
They laid there in darkness, listening to the sound of each other’s breaths under the whispering wind and chattering crickets outside. It was getting windier in the nights, definitely signaling “it’s time to find shelter” that could hold them for a while when this all ended.
Regnum Bridge was still long out of their reach, a major city and its two rivers still very much in their path. Once they passed the city of Saeford, they would be so close to their destination.
But a lingering worry hovered over both adults: what was even the status of the city? Saeford used to once be a great city known for its high immigrant population and towers of trade. It was an economic center of the world, but somehow not the economic center.
Was the city still full of civilians? Was it in a current state of evacuation like the surrounding towns? Was it taken completely by soldiers who didn’t care if you were friend or foe?
So many questions that couldn’t be answered.
An occasional family driving by in their car would stop to tell the trio to turn around, but they never stayed long enough to actually be questioned further. Those who still lingered in towns, gathering provisions on foot, hadn’t time to send the trio a second glance. It was chaotic, streets were full of trash, houses were broken in to, fires burned in random spots. The further they traveled toward Regnum the more robberies they experienced.
Once a suburban neighborhood proved to be unsafe to travel, Jongdae and Minseok would immediately travel on the outskirts avoiding the towns completely.
“Min… We’re getting really low on food. I don’t think we can afford to skip the next town.” Stated Jongdae as he searched through his book bag.
The three were taking a rest in an abandoned amusement park. Foliage covered the Ferris wheel in dark colors, graying almost all the rides around. Yixing was just fine pretending to be sitting in them, riding them. He had been sitting in one of the old abandoned bumper cars-across the way from Minseok and Jongdae, sure to not leave their eyesight.
“We’ll just check it out first. Every town we’ve passed by has been terrible. Full of greedy people stricken with fear.”
“So what? We’re in war. That’s bound to happen.”
“I don’t want Yixing to be exposed to that.” Minseok gritted his teeth.
Both males had been on edge lately, quicker to snap at each other and get on each other’s nerves.
“Oh please. The kid was a goddamn slave. He’s been in the concentration camps, too. I think he’s had his fill of evil in the world.”
“Will you stop treating him as if he’s an object?! He has feelings too!”
“I’m not treating him as an object! I’m just saying that he can handle a few assholes. He’s a big boy.”
“I don’t want anyone to come up to us and rob us.” Minseok breathed through his nose, trying to calm himself.
“So what? You forget what I am Minseok, I can tear their sorry asses apart in mere seconds.”
“Jongdae!”
“It’s true! Stop acting as if that part of me doesn’t exist Minseok! You know better than anyone else what I am, you’re the one who did this to me!”
“Jongdae, stop!” Minseok yelled at the top of his lungs.
“No, Min! Stop running away from this! You know that we need to have this conversation, we’ve needed to talk about this for months now!”
“Talk about what?! There’s nothing to talk about! There’s nothing to clarify!”
“Yes there is, and you know it. Because I never said anything about clearing something up. I just said ‘talk’, not ‘clarify’.”
“No. The only thing to clarify? Is that I will never stop being sorry for what I’ve done.” Minseok’s breath hitched, tears began to well in his eyes. “There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t look at you and think ‘I can never undo what I’ve done.’… When I look at you, an endless pit of guilt just sits at the bottom of my heart and slowly eats it whole.”
Jongdae was silent, nodding his head with his lower lip covering his upper. His eyebrows were furrowed, almost as if his reaction was completely misunderstanding the situation.
“I get it.” Jongdae nearly whispered.
“Jong-”
“So then why are you with me? If it’s apparently so hard to look at me? Is this some sort of charity work to you then? Did you seriously want me to run away with you all that time ago? Are you here, in front of me now, because all you feel is guilt and the only way to repay me is to fill me with false love?”
“Jong where the hell-”
“Or are you here right now because this is your way to make sure I don’t get loose? So that if I ever survived the bombing, I wouldn’t wreak havoc everywhere? Is this some sick twisted way for you to keep an eye on your creation and give some sense of redemption to yourself?”
Minseok was honestly so astounded that Jongdae had all these things pent up inside. He could barely find words to come out of his mouth to respond.
“So is this how you really feel?” Asked Minseok with disdain. “Is this what you’ve truly felt all this time?”
Jongdae said nothing, making sure to keep a firm eye on Minseok’s every move, to make sure no lie left his mouth.
“Fine. Have it your way.” Minseok threw his bag down and walked away.
He felt that he didn’t need to explain himself in the slightest to Jongdae, he felt that the amount of trust between them was betrayed by the smallest sliver of misunderstanding. And it hurt to see that they would have to fight over something like this. Yet Minseok couldn’t see how childish he was being over the topic. Part of him didn’t want to look at the reality and accept that a small part of him was doing this to keep an eye on Jongdae. But the other part of him was just so honestly hurt and attacked that he couldn’t help but feel betrayed. His chest was heavy, and the pit of his stomach started to well with a nauseating feeling again. Any appetite that he had before was now gone.
As he walked away, he was met with a wide eyed boy, slightly frightened and completely unaware of the contents of the fight. They were speaking in their native tongue.
“Are you okay Uncle Min?” Yixing asked as he stuck his head underneath the balusters of the bumper car ride.
“Yes. I’m fine, little one. Just tired.”
“I heard you and Uncle Dae yelling… It wasn’t… About me, was it?”
Minseok could barely spare a smile to small Yixing, but managed something to come off his features. “Hardly… Don’t worry, everything’s going to be alright, little one.” He let a hand ruffle the tousles of Yixing’s now long hair.
Small Yixing knew better though, he knew that there was something wrong and he already didn’t feel comfortable with the atmosphere between the two.
That night, after Jongdae and Minseok split up to search the carnival grounds for food, they gathered inside one of the staff buildings. It held plenty of provisions for bed and water, but most importantly, protection from the cold (their tent was becoming too frail for the intense winds at night.)
They had a good haul of food; Minseok and Yixing found a bunch of left over sweets in the small stalls. Preserved caramel and candied sugar in unopened containers along with vacuum sealed apples. Packets of sugar for cotton candy in blue raspberry flavor only, all pink had been cut open and eaten by bees and ants (their dead bodies spread along the small counters of the stands.)
Jongdae happened by plenty of food places, however, since the freezers had no electricity to keep running, all meats like hotdogs, hamburgers, chicken bites were spoiled rotten. But there were plenty of bagged items that were still well preserved; there were containers that held cheeses and beans of the sort and he grabbed them as well. He found hordes of popcorn and unopened bottles of butter, perfect for the occasion of being at a carnival.
They ate wonderfully when they were able to put everything together in one of the staff buildings. A stove had been in perfect use in the staff room, still running on gas rather than electricity.
Jongdae was given the task of preparing dinner while Minseok and Yixing fooled around and made candied apples for dessert. The two lovers barely spoke once to each other in that time, instead they busied themselves with their jobs, only having Yixing to take them out of their contempt.
“Here Uncle Dae!” Yixing held a finger up full of caramel sauce.
“For me? Well I sure hope you washed your hands.” Jongdae smiled playfully and pretended to bite Yixing’s finger off as he took the caramel off his finger. Yixing’s high pitched giggle put a smile Minseok’s face. He enjoyed the sight very much, and yearned for it to stay like that all the time. But dreams were too good to be true at this point in time. When Jongdae looked up at Minseok, it sent a chilling sensation down both their spines to look at each other.
From that-Minseok and Yixing went back to decorating the candied apples with sprinkles; gathered from the stands, and started to heat up their packets of sugar in the traveling maker they picked. Yixing ended up making a cotton candy wand bigger than his head combined with Minseok’s and ate it all before their dinner could be served.
Yixing tried hard to bring the two together and both males could see what the small boy was doing. They knew that their fight was problematic on the child, considering that he was smiling more than usual and making an extra effort to involve them both in his activities.
But it was a lonely night that night. Stories of their past lives were usually told just before bed when they would curl up. Yixing was always in the middle, with Jongdae’s manning arms and Minseok’s strong hands to hold him securely. He loved the feeling of security he felt from them, and tonight he was torn between having to choose between one of the two to sleep with.
“Uncle Dae?” Yixing walked up to Jongdae who was readying himself comfortable against the corner wall of the staff room. Yixing was holding a blanket much too big for himself; mouth still covered in red dye from the candied apples.
“What’s the matter, small stuff?” Jongdae asked while pulling his sheets closer to his body.
“Why aren’t we sleeping together?” Yixing’s expression was perplexed. He was confused, looking back between Jongdae and Minseok who were getting comfortable on different sides of the room.
“Not tonight, blondie.”
“Then who do I sleep with tonight?” Yixing brought the blanket closer to his face as if trying to hide his growing apprehension.
“Well, it doesn’t matter short stuff. You can sleep with which ever one of us you want.”
“Yixing!” Minseok called from the other side of the room, Jongdae wasn’t able to see him. The staff table was blocking his view and the single light coming from above the stove made it all the more difficult.
“Go sleep with Minseok tonight. Don’t worry kiddo.”
“A-Are ya sure? You should come sleep with us.”
“Nah, it’s alright. Goodnight.”
“Okay… Goodnight.” Yixing gave a small kiss on Jongdae’s cheek and ran away, quickly, to the other side of the room.
“What were you talking about over there?” Minseok asked with a playful smile as he began wiping the sides of Yixing’s mouth with a wet towel, clearing away the red dye.
“Nothing. I just gave him a kiss goodnight. He told me to sleep with you.” Yixing fought to get out of Minseok’s hands and hated the feeling of someone wiping his face clean.
“He did, did he?”
“Mhm.”
“Well then, I guess that means you should.. Come here!” Minseok grabbed Yixing’s waist and tugged the boy to the ground, tickling him playfully.
They laughed and giggled as they tried to attack each other with tickles, letting sleep pass them over as they settled in their sheets, readying for a cold night.
And a cold night it was indeed. Minseok could barely sleep; he was half asleep throughout the time he tried to fully fall asleep. The wind was strong outside, and the draft inside was unbearably chilly. But the sleeping child in his arms was comfortable and sound with sleep, even if it seemed his dreams were casted in nightmares, his warmth was the most important.
Minseok’s heartrate began to eradicate. Something was wrong and he wasn’t exactly sure what it was. He thought he heard something come from inside the room, but it was hard to really see anything with the incandescent light from above the stove. On the other side of the room he could see slight shuffling come from Jongdae’s sheets through the table’s legs.
Before he knew it, the light on the stove was turned off and a hand was covering his mouth as two legs hovered near his torso. Minseok shrieked into the hand and began to flail his arms to punch, but soon recognized the eyes that belonged to the person.
“Jongdae!” Minseok whispered loudly once the hand was removed.
“Sh. Get up. Hurry.” Jongdae grabbed his arm and began pulling the male up from his bed. Yixing stirred from his slumber and whimpered louder than Jongdae liked.
“Quiet!” Jongdae shot back as he began leading the two deeper into the staff building. Minseok’s bed was right next to the door that led into the building and Jongdae wanted them as far away as possible from it, kicking the sheets around in the process.
“What’s wrong?” Minseok whispered as Jongdae led them up a staircase and into a closet of a dark room.
“Soldiers. Outside.” He locked the closet door just before entering and closed it behind them.
“What? Whose are they? And what the hell are they doing here?”
“Quiet! And I don’t know. But they’re ours. Up to no good I bet, this place has long been abandoned, they have no need to be here.”
Minseok held Yixing close in arms, preventing the child from hearing much or knowing too much of the situation. But it made the small thing snivel and hold for dear life onto Minseok’s arm, especially since both older males were speaking a language he no longer understood.
“Baby, you have to be quiet okay? Keep as quiet as you can. There are bad people outside and they can’t find us. Okay?” Minseok cooed the boy and softly stroked his hair.
“Soldiers?”
“Yes.”
Downstairs a rough knock started at one of the doors, someone was trying to break in. The shuffle of boots and clacking of uniform gear made Minseok freeze. He was nervous, and the bubbling anxiety in the pit of his stomach was intensifying. Jongdae wasn’t in his arms, he was crouching in front of the closet door, peaking through the key hole to make sure they would stay safe.
The chatter of radioed voices drew everyone’s attention to the space below them. Soldiers were in the building and heavily armed, Jongdae could hear the extra clanking of metal against their uniforms.
Jongdae immediately fled the closet entrance and dived for the two bodies in the corner of the closet-as quietly as possible. He grabbed a piece of tarp he noticed earlier and pulled it over the three of them, wrapping his arms tightly around Minseok’s backside and covering the shaking bodies.
“Sh.. It’ll be alright.” Jongdae comforted both as he held tighter onto Minseok’s body. “It’ll pass by soon. I promise.” His voice was lower and just enough to hear over Yixing’s whimpers.
“Nothing will happen… Nothing will happen…” Jongdae repeated to himself as he buried his face into Minseok’s back. Minseok could hear it, who Jongdae was truly talking to. He could feel Jongdae’s veins pulse, pulse with a power he desperately hoped would stay hidden.
The night was long, too long in Minseok’s head. He had a headache, the worry too much on his tense features. But morning had found the best of everyone in the closet. Jongdae was sound asleep against Minseok’s back and Yixing was tightly holding onto Minseok’s hoodie, calmer with sleep.
Minseok breathed heavily, trying to rid the sleep from his system, despite that it desperately needed some after last night’s endeavors. He looked all around the closet space to make sure they were still safe. His chest heaved as he tried to listen out for any noise outside the closet. It was much a relief to hear nothing after a couple minutes. The light from outside the room was the only light that leaked into the closet, it must have been morning or close to it.
“Is it clear?” Jongdae’s groggy voice sounded in Minseok’s ear.
“Yeah, I think so.” Their voices were low and quiet amongst each other.
“Good.” Jongdae settled his head back down into Minseok’s neck and breathed a sigh. He left a kiss as an involuntary action before he got up and began rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He went to work immediately-listening out for anyone in the building.
They spent the morning quiet. Yixing was especially quiet-his face pale with leftover fear. He was jumpy at every little noise and clung extra close to whoever was closest. Their supplies was fine, everything was untouched; just a door entrance left wide open and other doors of the building as well. Jongdae made sure to grab the bags he hid in the cabinets before they hid upstairs and headed outside for their journey.
“Alright, we need to get going. I don’t know what they were doing here, but there’s nothing good to come out of it. So we need to travel fast and quiet to keep out of range. We need to avoid them at all costs.”
Jongdae spoke lowly as they walked through the amusement park, heading west once more. Both Minseok and Yixing held hands tightly and nodded in understanding. Minseok knew nothing of why the soldiers were there; there was no way the soldiers could have followed them all the way to the carnival. It was scary to see where this was leading and Minseok wasn’t sure he was ready to find out the purpose as to why.
○✣○“Did your mother.. Give you that?” Asked the small and drained voice of the patient. He was strapped to his special table with thick tubes running in and out of his arms. An oxygen mask placed on his mouth with several vital machines hooked up to the sides of his bed in the middle of the room.
“Yes she did.” The doctor looked up from fiddling with his watch.
“It’s beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“Are you alright?” The doctor stood to his feet and slowly made his way to the patient who was suspended almost completely vertical.
“As alright as I’ll ever be.” He started to cough and hack a black liquid into the oxygen mask, the vitals starting to beep sporadically.
“What do you see right now?”
“A beautiful man… Before my eyes.”
“He’s hallucinating…!” The doctor yelled as if to put on a show, calling in other doctors to stop the body from falling into cardiac arrest.
…“How are you feeling?” The doctor stroked a loving hand on the patient’s forehead.
“Better..” The patient said with a groggy tone.
“It’s been a while since we last saw each other. You look like life was finally breathed back into you.”
“Well.. I had an angel that kept me sane.” They stayed silent. “You.”
“The board has told me that we will stop all tests on your body, that’s why you’ve been off for two days… Incubation will start as soon as possible.”
“Ah. I see. Just when I thought we were getting to the good part.”
“Will you be okay enough for the incubation?”
“I mean if I have sex at least one more time, watch a movie and get a homemade meal. I think I’ll be fine.”
The doctor simply stared at his patient.
“Is that your final wish?”
“Well I mean.. Maybe… I guess.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
○✣○“It’s at least a week’s worth of traveling if we try to go around the city. And at most a three day journey through the city. I think our best bet’s to go through it. When did you say the trains would stop running?” Jongdae looked over to Yixing for the answer.
“Big sister said the last trains would be during the first snow falls.”
“And who knows when that will be without a weather guide. So our best bet is to go through the city.” Jongdae said as he tried to persuade the doubtful man in front of him.
Minseok was severely skeptical about the city as they stood just outside the outskirts of it. Flocks of birds flew out of the giant buildings in front of them, signaling a sense of abandonment from the city.
“We need food… We have no choice but to go through it.” Minseok said more to reassure himself.
“We’ll try to get as far as we can today and find a building to stay in for the night. I bet the closer we get to the inner part of the city, the more supplies we’ll come across.” Jongdae stared at the big city, unafraid of anything that it had to offer.
“Yixing? Come on.” Jongdae held his hand out for the small one to grab.
The sun was just about to set. It was late in the evening but the sky was painted bright in hues of gold and red, leaving a bright glow on each individual window that faced the sun.
Minseok was so apprehensive toward the city that he hadn’t even realized Jongdae and Yixing were a couple feet away, until Yixing’s voice called him to his senses. That morning, when they left the amusement park, Jongdae hadn’t spared him glance. There was still heavy tension in the air between them and Minseok cringed at the feeling. Yixing was quiet. So quiet that he regretted ever having found the boy that day so many weeks ago. The child was going through trauma that no child should ever have to bare. And there wasn’t a sense of reality that Yixing would come out ‘all there’ if they survived any more of the war.
The sun set closer and closer to the horizon as they entered the city. There was something that hadn’t quite screamed abandoned as they walked through. Lights still flickered in buildings and the occasional personnel ran across the street as if their dear life was at stake. The once great city of Saeford was practically dead, but not as dead as both Minseok and Jongdae expected.
The people that still dwelled in the city were Hevin. That was something Minseok caught on to as he listened to the whispers come from the people inside their buildings. People covered their windows as soon as Jongdae or Minseok would look up, shunning the trio away.
It wasn’t until the sun was so close to being gone that the two decided it was best to find shelter in one of the apartment buildings. They hoped there would be an apartment opened or a family willing to let them stay for the night as they entered the staircase to lead them up.
There were more people inside than they expected. Hardly any kids were around, mainly adults that stuck in packs, making entire floors their living quarters. Doors were removed from their respective frames, leaving all apartments open for anyone to walk in through. Jongdae found it to be an odd thing, but Minseok knew the reason why it was like this. The Ethrean soldiers did this to regulate the Hevins in the main cities. They were tagged and kept a heavy eye over the deeper the war got. It was a means to easy access if further genocide was needed in the larger cities.
A middle aged man was kind enough to let the traveling trio into an abandoned apartment on the third floor. The only reason why they were allowed into the building was because they each spoke their language. The Hevs knew all too well that Jongdae and Minseok were Ethrean, but they could sense the desperation about them. It was a commonality they all each shared.
There was a perk to being in the apartment; running clean water and working electricity. Even though it was barely enough to function, it was more than anything they could ever ask for.
Jongdae took to a shower first as Minseok took to the kitchen area. A family of four had provided them with a box of provisions, enough to last the night and half of tomorrow’s journey. Minseok was so thankful that he hugged the man and woman of the family and ruffled their children’s hair. But he couldn’t help but notice how lifeless the family was. They were thin and frail, much like Yixing once had been. They weren’t as thin in comparison to their first run-in with Yixing but it was enough to know that they were a struggling family. The small girl wore a flowered dress that was worn down to the last grain. The color had all been washed out, leaving a dull yellow and her hair was held back in a single long, dark braid. The son who seemed just the rip age of fifteen was small in stature but broad in hate. It was obvious that he didn’t want to share the food, but the sight of Yixing was enough to put him at rest. And the parents were just too forgiving. Despite their rugged looks and defeated demeanor, there was hope. A shard of hope for a new day. A better time full of love and comfort. It was a time of the past that they held onto to keep them moving forward and Minseok knew all too well of that feeling.
Dinner was canned beans with chicken noodle soup to accompany them. A single bottle of beer was shared between Minseok and Jongdae as it were the only special thing given to them. But they knew better, the entire box of provisions they received was a specialty in itself.
Minseok’s turn in the shower was done with Yixing. They washed each other’s backs and made sure to clean every inch of themselves. Minseok tried his hardest to smile for the small child, but he found the task so terribly difficult.
Yixing was put to sleep in the room over from the kitchen-Minseok made sure to stay by his side as he fell asleep. Jongdae was sitting at the kitchen table, staring out the window beside him, finishing the rest of the beer bottle.
Minseok stood in the door way, his arms crossed on his chest. It was chilly, but Minseok found more than a sense of warmth from his own arms, he felt security.
“You should sleep.” Minseok spoke up, his throat tense with anxiety. Jongdae however, ignored the command.
Minseok walked over to the man and rested a hand on his shoulder, only to be violently shunned as the shoulder jerked away from the touch.
“Jongdae, list-”
“Goodnight, Minseok.” Jongdae said as he kept his focus on the streets below.
Minseok could only stare with his mouth agape. He knew Jongdae wasn’t going to bed so it was only safe to assume that Jongdae was sending him off to bed, in a rather rude manner.
But he could feel the anger start to boil in the pit of his stomach. He bit his lip and clenched a fist as he stared at the man sitting before him.
Will you just listen to me? Minseok screamed on the inside.
He turned on the balls of his shoes and stormed out of the room. It was too much to handle for him at the moment and he wasn’t about to let his tears slip in front of Jongdae. Instead, he took a spot next Yixing and curled close to him on the mattress they were granted to use.
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