Story Story Die 18+ (Round 1: Numbing Cream is Ineffective)
ROUND 1: Numbing Cream is Ineffective
E/N: Color-coded for your convenience
Sasha(me the editor + my descriptions of important actions) Eren Bluepool Armin Dark Link(Sword Guy) Random Asian Man Girl(Who just realized what she got herself into) Top Hat Guy
and now let the train wreck begin…
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Do you want to know the rules?
Yes we do.
Of course you do, you don’t know what you’ll be doing yet.
That’s true, I have no idea what I’m doing.
Basically, we pull you guys up here and sit you in these little chairs and we write a story together. A terrible, terrible 18+ fanfiction.
Someone laughs maniacally from the audience.
And if we had more players, people would die.
They’re still gonna die.
You might still die.
The audience cheers “Yay! Death!” and Dark Link throws his hands into the air in apparent joy at the thought of being murdered by Bluepool
Today’s our day of death.
The one survivor that lasts until the end will receive a prize from our prize pool, and if the video picks up the audio correctly and lasts until the end, we are going to transcribe it and post it on AdultFanfiction.net (and all the other places you are now reading this from, of course).
The audience laughs maniacally again and claps gleefully.
I think we actually have enough people to play now.
There are more people coming in.
Oh my goodness, it’s Jon Snow!
And his sister. My favorite Starks.
Bluepool laughs menacingly, while contemplating what he could do to them.
Oh, more and more people. We definitely won’t have to force anybody this time!
We can still force people. It will be hilarious.
Short intermission where the rules are explained properly and the audience finds out all the details about how Eren’s ass in leather pants can be seen on Instragram. How many people do we need?
Four
Who wants to volunteer? Alright, Sword Guy, other guy raising his hand…
Dark Link!
Hey! Shut up, your name’s Sword Guy. Keep on talking and you’re gonna be dead guy.
The first four participants are chosen and make their way to the front of the room. Now the true fun can begin.
On the distant planet of Fellatia III, the Talliwackas prepared for war against their evil, evil neighbors, the Vaginoids of Twat IV…
Will this reach all four of you? Yes it will. So! Gray man, start us off.
…by preparing an army of mobile dildos with acid semen. Little did the Talliwackas know, the Vaginoids had contracted a disease that was spread very rapidly. The Vaginoids were seeking the cure for this disease among the Talliwacka’s acid spewing dildos. And little did the Talliwackas know that the cure was a titanium alloyed adamantine chastity belt…
Bluepool re-sheathed his katana with an audible click.
You came close to death that time.
…once wielded by the great hero, Wannahackawacka. Wannahackawacka had a very deep relationship with the Vaginoid’s leader, Tyrone. Tyrone and Wannahackawacka had had a desperate and intense love affair. This love affair brought forth a child, to whom they gave the key to the ultimate chastity belt. But unfortunately, the chastity belt was lost forever in the lakes of Cuntalocka. After many years, the chastity belt rose up in human form out of the lake. Her name was Sara. Yes, it’s been a long time since Sara’s seen any…
Bluepool re-sheathed his katana once again. How many more times must this happen before someone dies!?
…And fortunately for her, once of the descendents of Tannahockamocka decided to come along with his pants down. As she laid eyes upon his mysterious weapon (Bluepool almost falls over from laughing), her eyes widened. But since she was a chastity belt, she knew she should keep her virginity…
Wahaha…why haven’t they all died yet?
They’re amusing us.
…She told him, ‘Before I can let you use your weapon, you must find the key. The key is deep within the asshole of the…’
Kill him!
Bluepool runs Sword Guy through with his katana.
I don’t want a key that’s been deep within the asshole of anything, thank you.
…As soon as the descendant heard about the key, he realized his lower half was the key. So, he went to unlock the lock. It was a fairly rusty lock, unfortunately. After he was finished, the descendant realized he only went fifteen seconds, and the lock required more than fifteen. So, he set out to find someone more worthy than he to unlock the lock. Then he realized that maybe he just needed some numbing cream…
Bluepool swiftly pulled out his trusty pistol and shot Top Hat Guy right where it hurt the most…his beloved hat.
...After the numbing cream was ineffective, he sought out a wizard who could make him a potion that would make him invincible. The wizard had made this potion far too often for himself and his brother…
Bluepool unsheathed his katana and held it high in the air.
I don’t like where that was going.
With those words, Bluepool brought the katana down upon the Girl in a beautiful, but deadly arc.
Finish it off!
…As soon as he took the potion, he was good for twenty-four hours. And then, the chastity belt was no more and the war ended with them doing their business.
Happily Never After
Bluepool gives an ironic slow clap for this terrible ending.
Happily ever after…in her pants.
That…made no sense.
The war ended.
The war ended and the chastity belt came off. What?
The chastity belt was human. It vanished into thin air. That means she’s gone forever. Are you happy now!?
E/N: Color-coded for your convenience
Sasha(me the editor + my descriptions of important actions) Eren Bluepool Armin Dark Link(Sword Guy) Random Asian Man Girl(Who just realized what she got herself into) Top Hat Guy
and now let the train wreck begin…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you want to know the rules?
Yes we do.
Of course you do, you don’t know what you’ll be doing yet.
That’s true, I have no idea what I’m doing.
Basically, we pull you guys up here and sit you in these little chairs and we write a story together. A terrible, terrible 18+ fanfiction.
Someone laughs maniacally from the audience.
And if we had more players, people would die.
They’re still gonna die.
You might still die.
The audience cheers “Yay! Death!” and Dark Link throws his hands into the air in apparent joy at the thought of being murdered by Bluepool
Today’s our day of death.
The one survivor that lasts until the end will receive a prize from our prize pool, and if the video picks up the audio correctly and lasts until the end, we are going to transcribe it and post it on AdultFanfiction.net (and all the other places you are now reading this from, of course).
The audience laughs maniacally again and claps gleefully.
I think we actually have enough people to play now.
There are more people coming in.
Oh my goodness, it’s Jon Snow!
And his sister. My favorite Starks.
Bluepool laughs menacingly, while contemplating what he could do to them.
Oh, more and more people. We definitely won’t have to force anybody this time!
We can still force people. It will be hilarious.
Short intermission where the rules are explained properly and the audience finds out all the details about how Eren’s ass in leather pants can be seen on Instragram. How many people do we need?
Four
Who wants to volunteer? Alright, Sword Guy, other guy raising his hand…
Dark Link!
Hey! Shut up, your name’s Sword Guy. Keep on talking and you’re gonna be dead guy.
The first four participants are chosen and make their way to the front of the room. Now the true fun can begin.
On the distant planet of Fellatia III, the Talliwackas prepared for war against their evil, evil neighbors, the Vaginoids of Twat IV…
Will this reach all four of you? Yes it will. So! Gray man, start us off.
…by preparing an army of mobile dildos with acid semen. Little did the Talliwackas know, the Vaginoids had contracted a disease that was spread very rapidly. The Vaginoids were seeking the cure for this disease among the Talliwacka’s acid spewing dildos. And little did the Talliwackas know that the cure was a titanium alloyed adamantine chastity belt…
Bluepool re-sheathed his katana with an audible click.
You came close to death that time.
…once wielded by the great hero, Wannahackawacka. Wannahackawacka had a very deep relationship with the Vaginoid’s leader, Tyrone. Tyrone and Wannahackawacka had had a desperate and intense love affair. This love affair brought forth a child, to whom they gave the key to the ultimate chastity belt. But unfortunately, the chastity belt was lost forever in the lakes of Cuntalocka. After many years, the chastity belt rose up in human form out of the lake. Her name was Sara. Yes, it’s been a long time since Sara’s seen any…
Bluepool re-sheathed his katana once again. How many more times must this happen before someone dies!?
…And fortunately for her, once of the descendents of Tannahockamocka decided to come along with his pants down. As she laid eyes upon his mysterious weapon (Bluepool almost falls over from laughing), her eyes widened. But since she was a chastity belt, she knew she should keep her virginity…
Wahaha…why haven’t they all died yet?
They’re amusing us.
…She told him, ‘Before I can let you use your weapon, you must find the key. The key is deep within the asshole of the…’
Kill him!
Bluepool runs Sword Guy through with his katana.
I don’t want a key that’s been deep within the asshole of anything, thank you.
…As soon as the descendant heard about the key, he realized his lower half was the key. So, he went to unlock the lock. It was a fairly rusty lock, unfortunately. After he was finished, the descendant realized he only went fifteen seconds, and the lock required more than fifteen. So, he set out to find someone more worthy than he to unlock the lock. Then he realized that maybe he just needed some numbing cream…
Bluepool swiftly pulled out his trusty pistol and shot Top Hat Guy right where it hurt the most…his beloved hat.
...After the numbing cream was ineffective, he sought out a wizard who could make him a potion that would make him invincible. The wizard had made this potion far too often for himself and his brother…
Bluepool unsheathed his katana and held it high in the air.
I don’t like where that was going.
With those words, Bluepool brought the katana down upon the Girl in a beautiful, but deadly arc.
Finish it off!
…As soon as he took the potion, he was good for twenty-four hours. And then, the chastity belt was no more and the war ended with them doing their business.
Happily Never After
Bluepool gives an ironic slow clap for this terrible ending.
Happily ever after…in her pants.
That…made no sense.
The war ended.
The war ended and the chastity belt came off. What?
The chastity belt was human. It vanished into thin air. That means she’s gone forever. Are you happy now!?