Story Story Die 18+ (Round 2: Azure Balls of Despair)
ROUND 2: Azure Balls of Despair
E/N: Color-coded for your convenience
Sasha(me the editor + my descriptions of important actions) Eren Bluepool Armin Sansa Stark Jon Snow Red Shirt Tuxedo Mask
And now let the train wreck begin…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just so you know, Bluepool wrote all the prompts.
Not all of them.
Most of them.
The really good ones.
So who wants to go next? Because I will start picking people…and you know who I’m gonna pick...Night Watch…come on down!
Both Jon Snow and Sansa Stark come up to the front and sit down.
Alright, y’all need to volunteer or y’all about to get chosen in this beast.
Voluntold that one!
Hello me!
In the chair!
Sit before I…!
Are we making Eren Yeager volunteer?
Yes!
Okay, get in the seat.
Eren runs up to the front and sits down.
Eren’s throwing temper tantrum.
I swear to god, if you turn into a titan in here, Armin’s gonna cut me.
You were abandoned by your friends.
Eren runs out of the room.
Goodbye Eren.
Bye Eren.
You there with the lamb in your lap and the red shirt…come on down! Who’s next?
Should we make Tuxedo Mask do it?
He was going to be my next choice anyways.
Red Shirt and Tuxedo Mask make their way to the front and the game begins again.
Gather round and listen well, for we have an epic story to tell. Children run, this might get gory, for we are going to tell Bluepool’s crazy back-story…
Be careful, he might really kill you this time.
…There was this blue man who kept following me everywhere I was going. I didn’t know why. He had a lot of secrets I suppose, and one of them happened to be that he was an assassin, but nobody really knows that, so keep it on the down-low. The most important thing to remember is that every time I saw him I just, for some reason, even though I couldn’t see them…I just imagined these large, pulsating blue balls. And as I was walking through the park one day, I felt this strange breathing on my neck. It was kind of nice, really. I anticipated that it was just my dog, Ghost, but upon turning around, there appeared to be a very large blue man right behind me. After I turned around and saw the blue man, I realized that he had a sword at my throat and I was very terrified. The only thing I could think to ask was, “Where did you come from? What’s your story, man?” Then I realized that it was not an actual sword that was against my throat…
Many resounding shouts of whoa! and oh my god! can be heard from the audience, as well as some laughter.
…Upon realizing…
Jon snow is interrupted by the unfortunate demise of Tuxedo Mask.
Continue
…Upon realizing my fate in this chair, I realized it was a sword after all and I was just seeing things. It turns out that I had had something really weird to eat for lunch. He looked me in the eye and he said, “Well, you know, I grew up in a pretty impoverished home. In the North, where the summoners couldn’t annoy us anymore, my entire family died, and it was really, really cold. They even killed all of our dogs. However, it’s really cool, because I decided that I wasn’t going to stand for it, and I became an assassin.” With pulsating blue balls, which he obtained from magic stuff that he found over the wall…
Sansa cannot think of anything to add to the story.
Oh no…
There’s only like three of us left!
You shall not escape!
Bluepool slices Sansa from top to bottom, much to Jon’s dismay.
Don’t worry. She’ll come back in the sequel.
Now there are three of us…and I might be dead, if you read the last book.
…They gave him a special kind of power, related to interacting with women. Unfortunately, these blue balls repelled women. And so, in fact, the blue balls only grew bluer, as every woman he encountered just scurried away. After stopping by the bar and seeing his friend, Logan, he was informed that he needed red balls…
I’m sorry
Bluepool pulls his pistol out and holds it up.
I lost it.
Yes, you did.
The red shirt is promptly shot in the chest five times.
…So, he told him, “Fuck that,” slashed him, and continued on his way with his blue balls.
And he happily…
The End.
…uh…not so happily was un-laid ever after.
I’d like pie.
He wants pie.
No.
Damnit. I will remain the pie-less bastard of the North.
E/N: Color-coded for your convenience
Sasha(me the editor + my descriptions of important actions) Eren Bluepool Armin Sansa Stark Jon Snow Red Shirt Tuxedo Mask
And now let the train wreck begin…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just so you know, Bluepool wrote all the prompts.
Not all of them.
Most of them.
The really good ones.
So who wants to go next? Because I will start picking people…and you know who I’m gonna pick...Night Watch…come on down!
Both Jon Snow and Sansa Stark come up to the front and sit down.
Alright, y’all need to volunteer or y’all about to get chosen in this beast.
Voluntold that one!
Hello me!
In the chair!
Sit before I…!
Are we making Eren Yeager volunteer?
Yes!
Okay, get in the seat.
Eren runs up to the front and sits down.
Eren’s throwing temper tantrum.
I swear to god, if you turn into a titan in here, Armin’s gonna cut me.
You were abandoned by your friends.
Eren runs out of the room.
Goodbye Eren.
Bye Eren.
You there with the lamb in your lap and the red shirt…come on down! Who’s next?
Should we make Tuxedo Mask do it?
He was going to be my next choice anyways.
Red Shirt and Tuxedo Mask make their way to the front and the game begins again.
Gather round and listen well, for we have an epic story to tell. Children run, this might get gory, for we are going to tell Bluepool’s crazy back-story…
Be careful, he might really kill you this time.
…There was this blue man who kept following me everywhere I was going. I didn’t know why. He had a lot of secrets I suppose, and one of them happened to be that he was an assassin, but nobody really knows that, so keep it on the down-low. The most important thing to remember is that every time I saw him I just, for some reason, even though I couldn’t see them…I just imagined these large, pulsating blue balls. And as I was walking through the park one day, I felt this strange breathing on my neck. It was kind of nice, really. I anticipated that it was just my dog, Ghost, but upon turning around, there appeared to be a very large blue man right behind me. After I turned around and saw the blue man, I realized that he had a sword at my throat and I was very terrified. The only thing I could think to ask was, “Where did you come from? What’s your story, man?” Then I realized that it was not an actual sword that was against my throat…
Many resounding shouts of whoa! and oh my god! can be heard from the audience, as well as some laughter.
…Upon realizing…
Jon snow is interrupted by the unfortunate demise of Tuxedo Mask.
Continue
…Upon realizing my fate in this chair, I realized it was a sword after all and I was just seeing things. It turns out that I had had something really weird to eat for lunch. He looked me in the eye and he said, “Well, you know, I grew up in a pretty impoverished home. In the North, where the summoners couldn’t annoy us anymore, my entire family died, and it was really, really cold. They even killed all of our dogs. However, it’s really cool, because I decided that I wasn’t going to stand for it, and I became an assassin.” With pulsating blue balls, which he obtained from magic stuff that he found over the wall…
Sansa cannot think of anything to add to the story.
Oh no…
There’s only like three of us left!
You shall not escape!
Bluepool slices Sansa from top to bottom, much to Jon’s dismay.
Don’t worry. She’ll come back in the sequel.
Now there are three of us…and I might be dead, if you read the last book.
…They gave him a special kind of power, related to interacting with women. Unfortunately, these blue balls repelled women. And so, in fact, the blue balls only grew bluer, as every woman he encountered just scurried away. After stopping by the bar and seeing his friend, Logan, he was informed that he needed red balls…
I’m sorry
Bluepool pulls his pistol out and holds it up.
I lost it.
Yes, you did.
The red shirt is promptly shot in the chest five times.
…So, he told him, “Fuck that,” slashed him, and continued on his way with his blue balls.
And he happily…
The End.
…uh…not so happily was un-laid ever after.
I’d like pie.
He wants pie.
No.
Damnit. I will remain the pie-less bastard of the North.