Story Story Die 18+ (Round 4: Big Titties Activate)
ROUND 4: Big Titties Activate!
E/N: Color-coded for your convenience
Sasha(me the editor + my descriptions of important actions) Eren Bluepool Armin Levi Sara Winchester James Bond Umbreon Guy with Horns
And now let the train wreck begin…
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Who wants to volunteer?
You can volunteer again if you’ve already gone.
You have five seconds.
5
4
3
2
Sara.
Oh, yes.
You.
I think I’ll just designate you the Winchester.
Nope, it’s Sara now. Sara Winchester. It’s still Sara. Sit your butt down. So, who wants to go next?
Guy with the horns.
You can run, but you can’t hide.
Who haven’t we had up here yet?
Umbreon.
Yes, yes. Take a seat.
So, y’all two can flip a coin. Alright, alright, I’ll decide this fairly. I’m thinking of a number.
48
-8
Oh, you wanna be a smartass. Get your happy ass, negative bullshit up here. I’m just gonna go negative. What?
At least I didn’t say pi.
This ain’t a game! Okay, maybe it is.
Can I have a summary of the rules, please?
Alright! This is a prompt. I’m going to speak it. Sentence. Sentence. Sentence. Sentence. And it’s going to keep going until you say something stupid, and I kill you. Last person standing finishes off the story and then they get a prize. Yay!
I like the way Bluepool does the rules much better than I do the rules.
What about the stuff that’s not supposed to be mentioned?
Shut up, you!
If he mentions, then he dies.
I’m crying inside.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, a princess named Oppai, and her country, were at war with the armies of the warlord, Motorboat…
For those of you who don’t understand Japanese, Oppai means…
Princess Big Titties! And Lord Motorboat!
Yeah.
…Princess Oppai was strolling along during peacetime. She noticed a boat out in the canal, starting to sink. Princess Big Titties then decided that she had to go save the boat…
This is multilingual.
…So she grabbed her nipples and said, “Big Titties Activate!” And they went from a size B to a size G. And when they were least expecting it, the Lord descended and said, “Y’all need Jesus…”
Wait. We’re bringing the Lord into this?
Let them continue!
The audience and panelists are too out of breath from laughing to continue and someone groans and says, “Oh my God,” which just makes everything worse.
I’m gonna die…
We’re all gonna die. We’re all gonna be smited here.
…And she ran towards the shore and jumped into the water. In the boat, a wonderfully dressed, cross-dressing pig said, “Save me, Princess Big Titties.” Princess Big Titties said, “Jesus, you created titties, so you love them as much as I do.” And Jesus was replied, “Nay.” and he smited Princess Oppai. And her boobs exploded down the seas. However, Lord Motorboat, watching all of this in dismay, came to the scene. He saw all the blood and he said, “Man, that’s a lot of tittie juice.” And he wept, and wept, and wept. Because he couldn’t…He…
Umbreon is unable to continue and is smited.
…So Lord Motorboat decided that he would try to use a resurrection spell on the titties, but not the princess. The resurrection failed because he got an erection and had no more mana. Thus he had to find another strategy. At first, he looked at the pig in the boat, but then he decided to go with other options. Somehow, the pig managed to resurrect Princess Oppai…
Did they use alchemy?
Yes.
…And as she resurrected, she had a sudden overpowering rage. Jesus looked on all of this in amazed wonderment. Princess Oppai decided to go on a new quest, so she said, “Big Titties Activate. Scanner Mode,” and shook them to use echolocation to find it. And so, she ended up in Cheboygan. In Cheboygan, she found a very high level dungeon that she could explore. Within the dungeon there were very many covetous men. But then, suddenly, Lord Motorboat came with a sudden rage and jealousy and killed them all. Lord Motorboat, wanting to have fun, summoned a tentacle monster…
Armin hits James Bond upside the head with the ‘Don’t Do It’ sign.
They can continue, I’m just not sure I like it.
…The tentacle monster picked up Princess Oppai, held her upside down, and then…he decided to ask, “Would you like a tea party?” And she said, “Yes.” and ordered earl gray tea. Then she said, “Wait. This ain’t a maid café. I shoot milk in your eye, son.” Blinded, the tentacle monster disappeared. Lord Motorboat, afraid that his plan has failed, fled the scene…
Guy with the horns takes a second too long to start speaking and gets stabbed.
I thought that one was going to win.
Where were we?
Lord Motorboat just fled the scene.
…After he fled the scene, Princess Oppai came back and chased him. But she couldn’t find him, so Princess Big Titties said, “Big Titties Activate. Seek and Destroy Missiles Activate!” Fifty miles down the river, all people could hear was a tiny ‘poof.’ And Jesus, still on the scene, looked at what had been done, and said, “Truly, this is one of the greatest things I have ever invented.” Some things work out and some just don’t. However, even the pope in the Vatican gave his blessings to the tittie missiles, calling them the new Holy Weapon. And thus, the princess was made an honorary member of the Vatican. Now having both power in religion and government, she decided to take over the world…
I don’t have an answer.
Sara Winchester is killed off because stabbings is the only answer Bluepool actually accepts.
...So, Princess Big Titties eventually conquered the entire world…and Lord Motorboat ran forever from the tittie missiles. The end.
That was beautiful.
Y’all motherfuckers all need Jesus.
E/N: Color-coded for your convenience
Sasha(me the editor + my descriptions of important actions) Eren Bluepool Armin Levi Sara Winchester James Bond Umbreon Guy with Horns
And now let the train wreck begin…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Who wants to volunteer?
You can volunteer again if you’ve already gone.
You have five seconds.
5
4
3
2
Sara.
Oh, yes.
You.
I think I’ll just designate you the Winchester.
Nope, it’s Sara now. Sara Winchester. It’s still Sara. Sit your butt down. So, who wants to go next?
Guy with the horns.
You can run, but you can’t hide.
Who haven’t we had up here yet?
Umbreon.
Yes, yes. Take a seat.
So, y’all two can flip a coin. Alright, alright, I’ll decide this fairly. I’m thinking of a number.
48
-8
Oh, you wanna be a smartass. Get your happy ass, negative bullshit up here. I’m just gonna go negative. What?
At least I didn’t say pi.
This ain’t a game! Okay, maybe it is.
Can I have a summary of the rules, please?
Alright! This is a prompt. I’m going to speak it. Sentence. Sentence. Sentence. Sentence. And it’s going to keep going until you say something stupid, and I kill you. Last person standing finishes off the story and then they get a prize. Yay!
I like the way Bluepool does the rules much better than I do the rules.
What about the stuff that’s not supposed to be mentioned?
Shut up, you!
If he mentions, then he dies.
I’m crying inside.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, a princess named Oppai, and her country, were at war with the armies of the warlord, Motorboat…
For those of you who don’t understand Japanese, Oppai means…
Princess Big Titties! And Lord Motorboat!
Yeah.
…Princess Oppai was strolling along during peacetime. She noticed a boat out in the canal, starting to sink. Princess Big Titties then decided that she had to go save the boat…
This is multilingual.
…So she grabbed her nipples and said, “Big Titties Activate!” And they went from a size B to a size G. And when they were least expecting it, the Lord descended and said, “Y’all need Jesus…”
Wait. We’re bringing the Lord into this?
Let them continue!
The audience and panelists are too out of breath from laughing to continue and someone groans and says, “Oh my God,” which just makes everything worse.
I’m gonna die…
We’re all gonna die. We’re all gonna be smited here.
…And she ran towards the shore and jumped into the water. In the boat, a wonderfully dressed, cross-dressing pig said, “Save me, Princess Big Titties.” Princess Big Titties said, “Jesus, you created titties, so you love them as much as I do.” And Jesus was replied, “Nay.” and he smited Princess Oppai. And her boobs exploded down the seas. However, Lord Motorboat, watching all of this in dismay, came to the scene. He saw all the blood and he said, “Man, that’s a lot of tittie juice.” And he wept, and wept, and wept. Because he couldn’t…He…
Umbreon is unable to continue and is smited.
…So Lord Motorboat decided that he would try to use a resurrection spell on the titties, but not the princess. The resurrection failed because he got an erection and had no more mana. Thus he had to find another strategy. At first, he looked at the pig in the boat, but then he decided to go with other options. Somehow, the pig managed to resurrect Princess Oppai…
Did they use alchemy?
Yes.
…And as she resurrected, she had a sudden overpowering rage. Jesus looked on all of this in amazed wonderment. Princess Oppai decided to go on a new quest, so she said, “Big Titties Activate. Scanner Mode,” and shook them to use echolocation to find it. And so, she ended up in Cheboygan. In Cheboygan, she found a very high level dungeon that she could explore. Within the dungeon there were very many covetous men. But then, suddenly, Lord Motorboat came with a sudden rage and jealousy and killed them all. Lord Motorboat, wanting to have fun, summoned a tentacle monster…
Armin hits James Bond upside the head with the ‘Don’t Do It’ sign.
They can continue, I’m just not sure I like it.
…The tentacle monster picked up Princess Oppai, held her upside down, and then…he decided to ask, “Would you like a tea party?” And she said, “Yes.” and ordered earl gray tea. Then she said, “Wait. This ain’t a maid café. I shoot milk in your eye, son.” Blinded, the tentacle monster disappeared. Lord Motorboat, afraid that his plan has failed, fled the scene…
Guy with the horns takes a second too long to start speaking and gets stabbed.
I thought that one was going to win.
Where were we?
Lord Motorboat just fled the scene.
…After he fled the scene, Princess Oppai came back and chased him. But she couldn’t find him, so Princess Big Titties said, “Big Titties Activate. Seek and Destroy Missiles Activate!” Fifty miles down the river, all people could hear was a tiny ‘poof.’ And Jesus, still on the scene, looked at what had been done, and said, “Truly, this is one of the greatest things I have ever invented.” Some things work out and some just don’t. However, even the pope in the Vatican gave his blessings to the tittie missiles, calling them the new Holy Weapon. And thus, the princess was made an honorary member of the Vatican. Now having both power in religion and government, she decided to take over the world…
I don’t have an answer.
Sara Winchester is killed off because stabbings is the only answer Bluepool actually accepts.
...So, Princess Big Titties eventually conquered the entire world…and Lord Motorboat ran forever from the tittie missiles. The end.
That was beautiful.
Y’all motherfuckers all need Jesus.