Story Story Die 18+ (Round 5: The Big Tittie Committee)(final part)
ROUND 5: The Big Tittie Committee
E/N: Color-coded for your convenience
Sasha(me the editor + my descriptions of important actions) Eren Bluepool Armin Sword Guy Jon Stark Girl #2 Sansa Stark
And now let the train wreck begin…
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Jon Snow, Sansa Stark, and Sword Guy return to the front once again for the final round. They are joined by a random unfortunate soul. Bluepool is distracted by a conversation with Jon Snow that involves stabbing people with sporks.
I was half awake when I made up that prompt.
Armin, this one might kill you.
Yay!
Does it have teapot involved?
She’s already dead.
One day, a girl woke up, only to find a talking man-meat in her room. The magical prod rod told her that she had been chosen to be the most powerful magical girl, ‘Naked Buster’…
A magical prod rod?
Yeah. Okay, one day a girl woke up, only to find a talking penis in her room. The penis told her that she had been chosen to be the most powerful magical girl, whose name was Naked Buster.
You have no theatrical presence at all. You know they come from a strange, boring land.
…So she woke up and saw this big, hulking BOOP and she’s like, “How? Why was I chosen?” It’s a large thing and I don’t know what it is…
The video cuts out here, so whatever delightful thing Sansa added to the story is now gone forever, but for the sake of continuity, we will just make up whatever seems appropriate and move on.
…The magical talking BOOP answered her by saying, “Your oppais are bigger than any I have ever seen.” And she remembered that she was related to Major Big Titties, so she was not surprised. She asked if this had anything to do with her sister and he said, “No. This is to do with you defeating the former magical girl, Princess Oppai.” Then she said, “Well, we’re related, so it’s kind of awkward, but I guess I’m totally down with it…”
I love crossovers!
It’s a sequel. And like all sequels, one of the writers is not up to snuff.
Sword Guy is shot in the head.
…But she had a different power. She had the power of the magic rod. So she went, “aaaunh” and she was able to locate. Princess Oppai’s echolocation picked this up and she immediately headed towards the sea. So they met in a battlefield, staring each other down intensely. There’s only room here for one with big titties…
And Oppai said…
…”What’s the giant penis doing here?” The giant penis said, “Don’t look at me, I’m just an observer, and if I stop standing up, it’s just normal.” So they clashed in a giant big tittie war. They decided to measure to see who was larger. But see, Tits McGee had a trick. She had a pump that she used, and they got bigger and bigger and bigger. Oppai responded with, “Big Titties Activate!” But they couldn’t get anywhere past a size H. She was very, very sad about this, so she decided to start crying, begging for sympathy…
And suddenly…
…Jesus showed up again. He said, “I don’t want to have to deal with this. Why is it always Christianity!?” So then Buddha showed up and he was like, “This is cool…”
And then…
…The Buddha decided to join the Big Tittie Committee and he was all like, “You know what? I could beat this. I have power.” The only way outdo Buddha and his tittie power was for Oppai and Big Tits to join together. So they combined their titties into one ginormous tittie laser…
Oh gods, what…
The Super Awesome Mega Ultra Over Booby Laser.
…It shot a white beam that destroyed the landscape ahead of it, and went off the planet to hit Alderaan…
No! Not Alderaan! We just finished rebuilding that!
…It killed Luke’s parents and Buddha. Jesus, who was sitting there with popcorn, cheered, “Yeah! I’m the only religion now!” Just then, Muhammad came down and said, “What the fuck are you talking about?” So then, Jesus and Muhammad got into a huge argument and the tittie girls told them, “The stories about us. Get out.” Muhammad blew himself up…
The audience reacts negatively and goes aww and oohhh man. The host calls forth the sign.
The crowd has spoken.
Okay. Goodbye everyone!
Bluepool regretfully takes the head of Girl #2.
It was a good run while it lasted. Now it’s down to the two Starks. Hey, you survived almost to the end this time!
One of us might make it.
One of us has to make it.
…With four members and the penis left on the battlefield, they realized there had been enough bloodshed for that day. So the two girls looked at each other and said, “Why are we fighting? We both have big boobs...”
And then suddenly…
…I appeared on the scene and gave a really long speech about how you shouldn’t hurt people that you love. So Jesus was like, “Hey, I totally agree with that…”
Accompanied by Bluepool…
…who jumped towards the penis and said, “You can’t fucking let this happen! They have to kill each other!” and the penis said, “You’re right. That’s what we set out to do in the first place.” Erecting himself way over the wall, he called the Whitewalkers for back-up. The Whitewalkers came down, but they were kind of dead, so they didn’t really know what was going on. But they brought the cold with them and this did some weird things to the giant tittie laser. They were now perky. The perkiness turned into yet another laser...
Bluepool holds his katana in a threatening position above Sansa’s head.
Keep going and if you both manage to survive the next two minutes, you’ll both get a prize.
…The other laser decided to kill Jesus in a jealous rage…
But then…
…Jesus came back from the dead again. And Jon was like, “I don’t know who this is, but now our seven gods are randomly in the mix, and they have big titties too!” At this point, Tyrion makes an aside about how he believes in the god of tits and wine. And so the girls looked at each other and said, “We really should kill each other off now, because there can be only one Big Tittie.” The remainder of the cast that was currently on the planet looked at them and said, “Yes, please! By all means, get on with it!”…
And from the grave, Lord Motorboat started forth…
…as a mighty prodding scepter, resembling the penis’ dead brother. The penis called out, “Brother, is that you? It’s been so long!” But it turned out that it was not his brother. It was only half a brother because it had been half cyborged or something. And he cried as they embraced.
We are calling that the end because we are out of time! Hey everybody, the Starks, they both lived ‘til the end of the book!
Everyone cheers.
Nope!
Bluepool shoots them both in the head.
Plot Twist!
That’s okay. Jesus resurrects them.
Damnit Jesus! Always getting in my way…
E/N: Color-coded for your convenience
Sasha(me the editor + my descriptions of important actions) Eren Bluepool Armin Sword Guy Jon Stark Girl #2 Sansa Stark
And now let the train wreck begin…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jon Snow, Sansa Stark, and Sword Guy return to the front once again for the final round. They are joined by a random unfortunate soul. Bluepool is distracted by a conversation with Jon Snow that involves stabbing people with sporks.
I was half awake when I made up that prompt.
Armin, this one might kill you.
Yay!
Does it have teapot involved?
She’s already dead.
One day, a girl woke up, only to find a talking man-meat in her room. The magical prod rod told her that she had been chosen to be the most powerful magical girl, ‘Naked Buster’…
A magical prod rod?
Yeah. Okay, one day a girl woke up, only to find a talking penis in her room. The penis told her that she had been chosen to be the most powerful magical girl, whose name was Naked Buster.
You have no theatrical presence at all. You know they come from a strange, boring land.
…So she woke up and saw this big, hulking BOOP and she’s like, “How? Why was I chosen?” It’s a large thing and I don’t know what it is…
The video cuts out here, so whatever delightful thing Sansa added to the story is now gone forever, but for the sake of continuity, we will just make up whatever seems appropriate and move on.
…The magical talking BOOP answered her by saying, “Your oppais are bigger than any I have ever seen.” And she remembered that she was related to Major Big Titties, so she was not surprised. She asked if this had anything to do with her sister and he said, “No. This is to do with you defeating the former magical girl, Princess Oppai.” Then she said, “Well, we’re related, so it’s kind of awkward, but I guess I’m totally down with it…”
I love crossovers!
It’s a sequel. And like all sequels, one of the writers is not up to snuff.
Sword Guy is shot in the head.
…But she had a different power. She had the power of the magic rod. So she went, “aaaunh” and she was able to locate. Princess Oppai’s echolocation picked this up and she immediately headed towards the sea. So they met in a battlefield, staring each other down intensely. There’s only room here for one with big titties…
And Oppai said…
…”What’s the giant penis doing here?” The giant penis said, “Don’t look at me, I’m just an observer, and if I stop standing up, it’s just normal.” So they clashed in a giant big tittie war. They decided to measure to see who was larger. But see, Tits McGee had a trick. She had a pump that she used, and they got bigger and bigger and bigger. Oppai responded with, “Big Titties Activate!” But they couldn’t get anywhere past a size H. She was very, very sad about this, so she decided to start crying, begging for sympathy…
And suddenly…
…Jesus showed up again. He said, “I don’t want to have to deal with this. Why is it always Christianity!?” So then Buddha showed up and he was like, “This is cool…”
And then…
…The Buddha decided to join the Big Tittie Committee and he was all like, “You know what? I could beat this. I have power.” The only way outdo Buddha and his tittie power was for Oppai and Big Tits to join together. So they combined their titties into one ginormous tittie laser…
Oh gods, what…
The Super Awesome Mega Ultra Over Booby Laser.
…It shot a white beam that destroyed the landscape ahead of it, and went off the planet to hit Alderaan…
No! Not Alderaan! We just finished rebuilding that!
…It killed Luke’s parents and Buddha. Jesus, who was sitting there with popcorn, cheered, “Yeah! I’m the only religion now!” Just then, Muhammad came down and said, “What the fuck are you talking about?” So then, Jesus and Muhammad got into a huge argument and the tittie girls told them, “The stories about us. Get out.” Muhammad blew himself up…
The audience reacts negatively and goes aww and oohhh man. The host calls forth the sign.
The crowd has spoken.
Okay. Goodbye everyone!
Bluepool regretfully takes the head of Girl #2.
It was a good run while it lasted. Now it’s down to the two Starks. Hey, you survived almost to the end this time!
One of us might make it.
One of us has to make it.
…With four members and the penis left on the battlefield, they realized there had been enough bloodshed for that day. So the two girls looked at each other and said, “Why are we fighting? We both have big boobs...”
And then suddenly…
…I appeared on the scene and gave a really long speech about how you shouldn’t hurt people that you love. So Jesus was like, “Hey, I totally agree with that…”
Accompanied by Bluepool…
…who jumped towards the penis and said, “You can’t fucking let this happen! They have to kill each other!” and the penis said, “You’re right. That’s what we set out to do in the first place.” Erecting himself way over the wall, he called the Whitewalkers for back-up. The Whitewalkers came down, but they were kind of dead, so they didn’t really know what was going on. But they brought the cold with them and this did some weird things to the giant tittie laser. They were now perky. The perkiness turned into yet another laser...
Bluepool holds his katana in a threatening position above Sansa’s head.
Keep going and if you both manage to survive the next two minutes, you’ll both get a prize.
…The other laser decided to kill Jesus in a jealous rage…
But then…
…Jesus came back from the dead again. And Jon was like, “I don’t know who this is, but now our seven gods are randomly in the mix, and they have big titties too!” At this point, Tyrion makes an aside about how he believes in the god of tits and wine. And so the girls looked at each other and said, “We really should kill each other off now, because there can be only one Big Tittie.” The remainder of the cast that was currently on the planet looked at them and said, “Yes, please! By all means, get on with it!”…
And from the grave, Lord Motorboat started forth…
…as a mighty prodding scepter, resembling the penis’ dead brother. The penis called out, “Brother, is that you? It’s been so long!” But it turned out that it was not his brother. It was only half a brother because it had been half cyborged or something. And he cried as they embraced.
We are calling that the end because we are out of time! Hey everybody, the Starks, they both lived ‘til the end of the book!
Everyone cheers.
Nope!
Bluepool shoots them both in the head.
Plot Twist!
That’s okay. Jesus resurrects them.
Damnit Jesus! Always getting in my way…