Err... Hello? x3

[aiyuuka]

I'm Yuuka, I just joined this community, but I've sort of lurked on and off in the past for the fics. ;3
Thought I'd post something. Uhhh. If I can figure out how.

Anyway, this fic was a request from a friend of mine, so basically I tried my best even though it's not really my style I guess. It was haaaaaard. >.<;; Constructive criticism welcome.

Comments

[sadie_dandelion]

I liked it. I've never seen the twins pretend to be different people in order to have sex with each other.
Two things I want to ask: How did Kaoru unbutton Hikaru's buttons with his hands cuffed back?
And, I wonder if the twins tell the truth, but make it sound like a joke, to explain the red, swollen rings around Kaoru's wrists in the Host Club?
Besides that, very nice.

[aiyuuka]

Oh, crap. I sort of pictured his hands cuffed in front of him. e.e;; Should have made that clearer, huh? Haha, whoops.
And the Host Club explanation part sounds like it would have been pretty funny -- I wish I'd thought of it while writing this... o.o Haha.

Thanks for the feedback. ^^

[lalachoy]

That was a really awesome idea making them pretend to be two different people. I was with Sadie on the handcuff thing but I guessed you had Kaoru's hands cuffed in front. I liked how you had Hikaru worry if he was hurting Kaoru because I can't imagine him hurting Kaoru too much. Plus, making it sound like game? Another great idea. You kept them in character so it was a good job. I liked.

[aiyuuka]

Thanks. :3 I was worried about keeping them in character, so it's nice to hear that somebody thinks I did it well.
Argh, the handcuffs are going to kill me. x___x;; Haha.

[socks]

I want more of this

[aiyuuka]

Glad you liked it, haha. x3
I'm doing another request for the same person right now, so we'll see what happens. ^^;;

[gakku_rei33]

Awesome! I like your stories so far. :D

[aiyuuka]

Thanks! ^^

[jacinthe86]

Nice story, but there is one thing that kind of irks me, the spelling of 'charade'. You spelled it as 'Sherade'.

Other than that nice...looking forward to more.

[aiyuuka]

Argh. >.<
I suppose that's what I get for trying to write a decent fanfiction at 3 in the morning.
Thanks for pointing it out to me though. x)