ideally, you're supposed to talk to the person about it, but i'll tell you that confrontation doesn't usually work out very well with those kinds of things. the confrontee (?) makes the confronter feel intrusive and the confrontee feels like they're being monitored. i guess there isn't really an easy way to go about it. if you do talk to him or her, make sure you have legitimate reason to worry before you say anything. this advice is wicked redundant, i think you would have good judgment when it comes to something like this. i hope it works out that your friend isn't actually sick :[
Talk to them, but not about food and weight. Instead be the champion of their self-esteem. Don't compliment to the point where it seems insincere; just give them props when you really think they should hear it regardless of the eating disorder. Likewise when they insult themselves, don't automatically say "That's ridiculous, you look great!" Try an offhand "I think you look fine" and shrug/reinforce the idea when they argue. Or ask "What makes you think that? I just don't see it." Sometimes, just let them verbally beat themselves up or chat disturbingly about calorie counting without responding. This gives them space so that they know you are not interfering for the sake of interfering, and that you do trust them to make their own choices no matter how it affects you. If you always respond to comments it seems that you are trying to gain control, when in reality you are trying to re-establish your friend's control so that she is not consumed by the obsession with food. It seems counterintuitive, but letting her say things that you
( ... )
Comments 3
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment