Glee Fic: Undisclosed Desires - Part 3

[hildigunnur]

It was pretty late when Blaine finally found himself alone with Kurt that night. They had left the celebratory dinner and were heading to their respective rooms.

"Blaine," Kurt began as they waited for the elevator. "This is going to sound so stupidly forward and all but uhm, would you like to spend the night with me?"

Seeing as how anyone could have seen them there, Blaine didn't grab Kurt right away to kiss him but gave him a fairly enthusiastic nod instead.

Inside the elevator, Kurt took his hand and gave him a glance, making something swoop in Blaine's stomach and fill him with the knowledge that they would be experiencing a first together.

In all his fantasies, Blaine hadn't imagined this happening in a hotel room but reality was never the same as the fantasies and the white crisp linen on Kurt's bed was as good a place as any to make love for the first time.

Kurt was standing on the other side of the bed, unbuttoning the sleeves of his shirt, his head turned down like he was too shy to look at Blaine. He didn't want that, he didn't want Kurt to feel shy. He wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible. Here they were together, taking this giant leap in their relationship and their lives.

"C'mere," Blaine whispered as Kurt was starting to unfasten the buttons on the front of his shirt. Kurt looked up, his eyes filled with an uncertainty that Blaine hadn't seen in a long time. With his hands still on the shirt front, Kurt walked over.

"Hey, are you scared?" Blaine lifted Kurt's chin up with one finger, looking him in the eyes.

"Yeah, I suppose I am."

"We don't have to..."

"Blaine, I want to. So much. And this is the perfect moment. At least for now. We have the entire night to ourselves and I love you, I love you so much. But I don't know what I'm doing." Kurt's eyes were wet and he was still clutching his hands to his chest. Hearing Kurt's words, hearing that he loved him made Blaine tingle all over. He had known instinctively that Kurt must feel the same about him and now he wanted even more to show Kurt that he loved him.

"You know that I don't know what I'm doing either. But I know I love you, so much, and I know I want you." Taking Kurt's hands into his, Blaine leaned forward to capture Kurt's lips in a kiss. Maybe he’d meant it to be chaste and to calm Kurt's nerves and his own as well, but at that moment his body, and Kurt's as well, wanted to express those feelings they had just professed to each other. The kiss deepened and Blaine wasn't sure who had initiated that or who had first began to undress the other. All he knew was that they were frantically undressing each other. He was now topless and so was Kurt, their shirts lying in a heap on the floor and they were both trying their best to rid the other of their pants. When they were down to their underwear, they didn't even hesitate. Feeling Kurt's naked body against his felt right to Blaine, and yet he wanted more. The bed beckoned. Pulling on Kurt, he made himself fall onto the bed, and Kurt followed, managing to brace himself so he wouldn't crush Blaine.

With their hands and mouths they explored each other without any direction. One moment Blaine was licking down Kurt's throat and the next he was trailing his lips down his stomach. One moment Kurt's hands were on Blaine's shoulders and the next he was cupping his ass. They were both hard but for the moment their erections weren't playing a major role. First, they wanted to enjoy each other and the parts of each other they had gotten familiar with over the last few weeks.

Soon Kurt grew impatient though, rubbing himself against Blaine.

"I want... Blaine... more." He sounded short of breath, squirming as he half-laid on top of Blaine.

"Yeah?" Blaine's voice was little more than a croak.

"Yeah, I want you. Inside."

They hadn't discussed in so many words how it would go when and if they would cross this threshold. Blaine saw that Kurt had come prepared; there was lube on the nightstand and a box of condoms. The reality of the situation washed over him, making him shiver a little. Kurt was expecting him to finger him open; Kurt was trusting him not to hurt him.

"Okay," he whispered and turned them around so Kurt was lying flat on his back. "How should we do this? Like this or do you want to turn around?"

Despite the semi-darkness, the only source of light being a couple of small lamps on a dresser on the other side of the room, Blaine could see the blue in Kurt's eyes clearly and he hoped that Kurt wanted them face to face. Not that the other way around wouldn't be hot, but for this, he wanted to see Kurt's face.

"Like this," Kurt said as he reached out for a pillow to put underneath him, raising his hips. He spread his legs and pulled Blaine so he would be on top of him. They kissed a bit more, then Blaine pushed himself up, kneeling between Kurt's spread legs.

In theory, he knew what he was supposed to do. He had to stretch Kurt, finger him open so he wouldn't hurt him, but his fingers were trembling when he coated them with the lube. When he touched the smooth skin between Kurt's scrotum and his anus, his fingers slipped. It took a deep breath for him to steady his hand so he could push with one finger. Kurt's muscles resisted at first but he persisted and kept pushing.

"Are you okay?" He asked Kurt before inserting another finger.

"Yeah," Kurt breathed, his voice rough. "Keep going."

When he had three fingers inside Kurt, Kurt had moved his hand to touch himself. Seeing that and his three fingers inside of Kurt made him realize how close he was, without even touching.

"Can I?" He asked. Kurt nodded as he reached for the condom and handed it to Blaine.

He had practiced this on himself before so he didn’t fumble with rolling it on. It probably was for the best because he wasn't going to last for very long.

It took a bit of maneuvering to get themselves into a position so Blaine could push into Kurt and he had to go slowly. He couldn't help but squeeze his eyes shut while he was moving, listening to the sounds Kurt was making. It wasn't until he bottomed out that he opened them again. Kurt was looking up at him, his eyes looking a little wet but on his lips, a smile flickered.

"Okay?" He managed to ask, his voice unrecognizable.

"Yeah, yeah." Kurt's voice sounded muffled. "Just... so full."

Blaine wanted to give Kurt more time but his body was screaming at him to move so he did. He wasn't thrusting hard but every move had Kurt grunting and it sounded more like distress than pleasure.

Moving his hand down between them, he felt that Kurt's erection had waned.

"Kurt?" He tried again.

"It's okay. Move, please, and kiss me."

So he lowered himself to kiss Kurt who kissed him hard back. The kiss was what told him that Kurt didn't want him to stop though he was obviously feeling pain. He kept kissing him as he kept moving and through his orgasm that wrecked his body just a minute later.

Trying his best not to crush Kurt, he moved off him to discard the condom. Then he raised himself to his elbow and brushed the hair that had fallen onto Kurt's sweaty forehead.

"I'm sorry," was all he could think of saying.

"Don't you dare," Kurt said, his voice low, almost a growl, "don't be sorry. This was perfect."

"But..." Blaine began.

"I love you, you love me. This was perfect. Even though it hurt."

Blaine kissed Kurt and then pulled back.

"I don't want to hurt you. Never."

Kurt smiled and reached to pull Blaine into a cuddle.

"I think unfortunately that is inevitable and is going to remain inevitable. I think relationships just work like that. But you can make this up to me but maybe not right now. I'm kind of tired."

Blaine replied by snuggling into Kurt, turning his face into Kurt's neck.

It was Blaine's phone that woke him up. He'd only been asleep for a couple of hours, judging by the time on his phone’s display. What had woken him up was a message. It was from Santana. He remembered her giving him her number but they had never texted before.

Short stuff, you should check this out. There was a link to a youtube video and mindlessly Blaine opened it.

It was from the TV coverage of the competition. Retired skating legends, Shelby Corcoran and April Rhodes were sitting on a set with some sports anchor whose name Blaine couldn't remember at the moment. They seemed to be talking about the highlights of the competition.

"While the competitive programs were good and our chances at Worlds for a medal should be good, especially in pairs and men's, the gala was the true highlight." April Rhodes clasped her hands around her knee.

"I agree, April. Not only are they elite athletes but the current generation of skaters are excellent performers. I was quite taken with the men. Kurt Hummel's number, with him skating as if he were two people, one more feminine and the other more masculine. It was quite something, especially in light of his interview after his win, where he came out as a gay man. And we can also see this reflected in his competitive programs. The masculinity of his short program and the vulnerability in the free. And I think in the tango in the short, he's obviously portraying a dance between two men." While Shelby's tone remained neutral, there was no mistaking that she was impressed by Kurt.

"And let's not forget Blaine Anderson and how we saw him skate as himself in the gala instead of the personas he normally takes on. That was some lovely interpretation we saw and I didn't realize how appropriate 'All Of Me' is for a skating routine, you know, when the lyrics say 'all your curves and your edges'."

"And it's obvious about whom that program is. Did you notice that slide, identical to Kurt Hummel's signature move? I wonder whether we are going to have another announcement?"

"You are not saying... Shelby. Are you saying that Blaine Anderson could be gay? But..."

"April, both you and I know there's pressure on figure skaters to fit a certain mold and uphold preconceived ideas about femininity and masculinity. I'm not saying anything because the only person who can tell us is Blaine Anderson himself but if my hunch is correct, I wish nothing more for him than to follow Hummel's lead. Being true to oneself is a powerful thing and I'm sure that it will only make him a better skater. Also I think the skating establishment needs to get on with the times."

The clip ended there.

Slowly, Blaine let his hand holding the phone fall to the bed. He didn't know what to think. They had discussed this. It had felt like such a copycat move for Blaine to come out as well, especially when they weren't really ready to be public as a couple yet. And now? Inevitably he would have reporters asking if Shelby Corcoran had the right idea and he couldn't just deny it or brush it off.

A soft touch to his shoulder startled him out of his reverie. Kurt was awake.

"You okay? I think I heard most of what that was." Kurt had propped himself up and was looking at Blaine.

"Yeah, I think so. I just... I think I'll have to say something publicly about this and I... I don't want to lie."

"Of course you shouldn't lie," Kurt said. "I don't want you to lie."

If they thought the media had been interested in interviewing Kurt after his revelation, Shelby's speculation had put the media into hyper-drive. There had even been paparazzi at the airport. Blaine hadn't really had time to get annoyed with it by the time he was on the plane back, sitting next to Kurt. The two of them hadn't even had time to talk since the whole thing blew up.

They had put together a press release, a very brief one confirming their relationship and stating their wish that they could be left alone as they would both be training for Worlds.

There were a couple of interviews lined up but they had opted out of everything else. Their skating had to come first now.

"We haven't really talked... you know... since the other night," Kurt said.

"Hmmm, yeah."

"I'm slightly worried about you." The concern was obvious in Kurt's voice.

"Worried about me? I'm worried about you. Are you still sore? I wasn't... you weren't supposed to be in pain." Blaine turned towards Kurt though the airplane seat made it a little hard.

"Blaine, the first time hurts for most people. I was ready for that. And okay, I'm still a bit sore but I wouldn't want to change that for the world. I told you this."

"But..."

"You owe me one orgasm. Don't worry." Kurt smiled and took Blaine's hand in his.

"Okay," Blaine said, owing something like that couldn't be a great hardship. "But us and the training and everything?"

"We've managed so far and I doubt that the media or anyone else will bother us too much. I think they are afraid of Coach Sue."

"I'm afraid of Coach Sue. They should be shitting their pants if they try something."

The ice skating love-birds, Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, will be skating tomorrow in Shanghai, China at the World Figure Skating Championships. They have enjoyed successes at the international level this year and both competed at the Grand Prix Final where Kurt got the gold. Yet this skating season has been marked by the fact that the reigning World Champion and the Olympic Champion from last year in men's singles skating, Jean-Baptiste Pelletier from Canada, didn't participate in the Grand Prix series. The World Championships will be his only international competition where he aims to defend his World title. It remains to be seen whether Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson have the wherewithal to defeat the Canadian Juggernaut of Figure Skating.

There had been a bit of press that Kurt and Blaine had been obliged to do before going to Worlds and Blaine was getting very fed up with having to answer whether his relationship with Kurt was going to hinder him in skating well, whether he would hold back for Kurt's sake or whether he thought that Kurt would be holding back for him.

At one point he had gotten a little bit testy and implied, rather vaguely though, that he and Kurt intended to skate their best. They did have an uphill battle, especially seeing how the judges might have some antiquated view on same-sex relationships.

But now they were at Worlds and the underlying homophobia of the judges was the least of their problems. Their problem was very real and very French-Canadian. Sebastian Smythe's attempts to psych them out had been peanuts compared to Jean-Baptiste, though he was more subtle than Sebastian in many ways.

When they had arrived and met Jean-Baptiste at the rink, he had looked at them both and greeted Kurt kind of like a relative he didn't want to know. Then he had turned to Blaine.

"So this is Blaine Anderson. I'm looking forward to seeing you out there. Your quad flips are something, though sometimes a bit underrotated, and I'm pretty sure the one at Nationals was actually a lip. You must be in favor with the technical specialists."

It didn't stop. Every time he passed either one of them at the official hotel, at the official rink or one of the training rinks, even at the coffee shop close to the hotel, he’d say something in order to rile them up. It was kind of impossible for either of them to say anything as a come-back, because if they tried to criticize his skating, it would be so easy for Jean-Baptiste to point out that the judges favored him. He had World titles and an Olympic title to back that up.

On the morning of the short program there was a knock on Blaine's hotel room door and it was Kurt.

"I wanted to talk to you before we head out to the rink."

Blaine's stomach sank for a second. Kurt couldn't be breaking up with him, could he?

"Can you promise me something?" Kurt took Blaine's hand. "Can you promise me that you are going to skate like you want to win this thing?"

Blaine didn't say anything. What was he supposed to say? Of course he was going to skate well, he didn't know to do anything else but to skate to the best of his abilities.

"I just... what we have between us is here," Kurt said, taking Blaine's hand to lay it over his heart. "It doesn't affect us on the ice. It only makes us better skaters - it should only make us better skaters."

Blaine nodded, feeling Kurt's heart beating under his hand.

"Okay, I'll do that," he then said.

"Good," was Kurt's reply before he leaned in and kissed Blaine. It was only a peck, yet it was loaded. "I love you, Blaine Anderson."

"I love you too."

Despite his promise to Kurt and all of his good intentions, Blaine's short program could have gone better. Of all the things that could have gone wrong, it was the triple flip that had brought him down. It hadn't really been a flip, more of a lip as he had landed on the wrong edge. He had gotten -3 across the board in the grade of execution of that plus the jump had been downgraded. It didn't bode well for his long since the flip was his signature jump, his more difficult quad.

Then Jean-Baptiste had to give him grief about it, just a small gesture of touching his lip and winking at Blaine when he passed him after the short program.

So he was down in fifth but he had a chance of a medal if he skated well. Kurt thankfully was in the lead with three points on Jean-Baptiste but rumor had it that Jean-Baptiste had a quad lutz in his arsenal. In his planned technical elements, there was a triple lutz pretty early on and that probably meant that he would replace it with a quad if he felt like it.

It was enough to drive Blaine so mad. How he wanted to beat Jean-Baptiste but all he could rely on was himself. That could be scary sometimes.

The men's long program was scheduled the same day as the pair's long program, but later in the day, so when he and Kurt arrived to the rink to compete, they saw a beaming Rachel, clutching Elliott and a silver medal.

"Let's hope that the McKinley Skating Club is currently in favor, whether it's with the judges or with the universal karma," Kurt said, after having congratulated Rachel and Elliott.

Blaine smiled because Kurt knew as well as he did that it would all come down to themselves in the end. As tempting as it was to trust in some outside element, there was only one thing they could rely on, on the ice, and that was themselves.

They had to deal with a lot of waiting as they were in the last group to skate, due to how highly they’d scored in their short. The order within the group was random, though. Kurt was the second to skate in the group, Blaine the third, and unfortunately it was Jean-Baptiste who was the last to skate. On one hand they would be skating not that long after their warm-up but then they had to wait all that time to see how the chips would finally fall.

After the long wait, it was finally their turn to wait to get on the ice. As Kurt prepared to get onto the ice, Blaine walked over to him and squeezed his hand like Kurt had done for him at Nationals.

"I love you," he whispered. Kurt gave him a smile in return and then skated onto the ice.

Blaine chose to remain rinkside as Kurt skated.

It was always little different to see a skater skate with your own eyes instead of on a screen, filmed by multiple cameras. There was no mistaking the emotion that Kurt put into the interpretation as it came through in his lines and in every tiny little movement. Coach Sue was watching him hawk-eyed, showing no reaction when Kurt completed his elements. Every jump was as pristine as it could be and his spins were almost other-worldly in how Kurt was pulling the audience to him, mesmerizing them.

When he struck the final pose there was a second or so of almost complete silence in the stadium and then a mighty roar of joy erupted. The crowd was ecstatic over Kurt's performance and Blaine was as well but he had to focus on his own skating, as much as he wanted to skate onto the ice right now and kiss Kurt.

As Kurt left the ice, Blaine had to skate onto it and get ready. He wouldn't know Kurt's score but he couldn't imagine that it would be anything but spectacular unless those very conservative looking judges sitting there were unhappy with Kurt coming out. It hadn't reflected in his short program score but there had been some changes in the panel between programs.

Not that Blaine could be wondering so much about that. His name got called and he had to get into position on the ice and get ready to skate.

When he had nailed both his quads - he was actually pretty sure his quad flip had never looked better - he became freer and just threw himself into the elements, feeling like he was flying, which was something he had often felt as a child when skating but rarely felt nowadays.

Stuffed toys and flowers rained onto the ice and he looked up to the stands, waving and smiling at the fanposters and banners that celebrated his and Kurt's relationship. While the judges and the skating establishment might have a problem, the fans certainly didn't.

Those minutes he had to sit in the kiss-and-cry seemed agonizingly long, but when the score came, he was second. As awesome as that sounded, there were three more skaters left to skate, including Jean-Baptiste.

Kurt was sitting in the back, watching the monitor and Blaine slid in next to him.

"You were so good," Kurt whispered to him, obviously not wanting to draw too much attention to them as there were TV cameras around.

"Thank you. You were magnificent."

"I always am."

They sat there in silence, not even discussing the other skaters when the monitor showed the replays. The second-to-last skater, from Japan, managed to knock Blaine down to third place. When his score was displayed on the monitor, Kurt reached out and squeezed his hand.

Then there was time for Jean-Baptiste to strut his stuff. A swell of strings to mark the start of 'Requiem For A Dream' began and Blaine couldn't help but groan. It was a great piece of movie music but it was so overly done that Blaine felt almost sick to his stomach just hearing it.

The first big element was executed perfectly by Jean-Baptiste. Quad toe-triple salchow with a pretty running edge. It felt strange to Blaine to feel so miffed to see an element done well.

Then there was what was supposed to be a triple lutz on paper but could at the moment become a quad. Jean-Baptiste went into a 3 turn as a transition before vaulting himself into the jump but somehow the 3 turn had offset his balance and before he could even finish one rotation, he crashed into the ice.

Blaine could hear Kurt's sharp intake of air. It looked like almost an impossible mistake for Jean-Baptiste to make. He kept on skating but the shiny had left him and when he fell again while going into a flying camel spin, the whole thing was kind of over. It was hard to believe that it was the Olympic champion skating there.

Jean-Baptiste's disastrous skate did mean that Blaine would get the bronze. When Jean-Baptiste's score had been announced and it was clear that Kurt was World Champion and Blaine had gotten the bronze, they turned to each other with equally silly grins on their faces. They would be sharing a podium.

As much as Blaine wanted to kiss Kurt when he walked up to the podium to receive his medal, he didn't. Instead he gave him a lingering hug and then took his hand as soon as he had received his medal and greeted all the skating officials present at the medal ceremony.

The couple of days that they had before the gala exhibition, Kurt and Blaine spent being silly tourists in Shanghai. They got recognized a few times on the street and that felt kind of surreal but nice.

The gala was a fun affair. The director had some ideas about shaking things up a little, splitting up the pairs and the ice dancing teams for a bit and mixing them with the singles skaters for new pair-ups for the opening number. Which of course meant that there would be no neat pairs or ice dancing tricks, but Blaine got paired with Tina since she and Mike had been fourth in the ice-dancing event and Kurt got paired up with Rachel. The number ended up being kind of off-beat, especially since the audience got a little confused as they had expected to cheer for their favorite pairs, teams and single skaters as they were introduced. Instead the introduction came before each and every one of them skated their routines.

This time around, Blaine allowed himself to get completely caught up in his love for Kurt as he skated to 'All Of Me'. He was sure that he had a silly besotted look on his face but that didn't matter all that much to him because he was feeling every line of the lyrics to that song.

The crowd went wild as he finished the routine and were shouting and clapping like it was a rock concert. Blaine was thrilled with the response but a little baffled why.

Until he felt hands on his shoulders. Turning around, he saw Kurt who was in full make-up for his 'Le Jazz Hot' routine.

"You were magnificent. I love you," Kurt said before kissing Blaine there in the spotlight on ice and the crowd roaring loud as ever around them.

-fin