Whine whinety whine. Mild self-loathing.

[hiljainen]

We had a Mage session again yesterday. The game got practically nowhere, but at least I didn't feel like a complete loser: the group might actually work, we might actually have fun. Although it's still a bit awkward at times. Meilu was there watching, which didn't bother us at all (I think), so that if someone else want's to come and observe next

Comments

[nahkasiipi]

I'm glad the exam went well enough. :) And I'm flattered that you took the time to read our locked entries of the past. Not everyone bothers.

I definitely do not hate J. He is a funny fellow. I don't yet feel comfortable enough to spend time with him alone, but I don't mind him coming along at all when we do stuff!

[hiljainen]

I'm happy to hear that. I suppose it's just me being kind of... I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't worry so much over him - the guy is perfectly capable of charming people on his own.

By the way, J called his friend Teemu (I think you have met him in some Linnalive) to visit tuesday, since he hasn't yet seen our apartment. He may stay to watch our Mage game. Eeps, I'm scared! You should come too, so that I wouldn't feel overall so threatened. (Well, you are un-threatening - even if you actually could get angry. Which we, of course, don't believe.)

[nahkasiipi]

I'll try to come on Tuesday. :) It depends totally on whether I can go visit my school during lunch hour tomorrow and get my travelling card's student time extended, though. I just realized that the samurai movie week thingy is now, also, and I have to travel a lot during this week. I just have to get the travelling card fixed.

I know me not getting angry is just a joke, but I'd appreciate it if it wasn't repeated so often. It makes me feel like you're sort of belittling my feelings of anger towards e.g. my family and the girls who were mean to me at school and so on. And although the times after my parents' divorce made me almost incapable of shouting at people, my being quiet doesn't mean I don't feel anything. But I haven't had any reason to be angry at you or other Eridas for a long time, if ever, and I hope I never will!

[arkangeli]

Huolimatta siitä, etten oikeastaan haluaisi puhua aiheesta julkisesti (tai puolijulkisesti, tai kenties enää lainkaan), en voi olla vastaamatta tähän osittain. On pakko sanoa, etten vihaa tai inhoa tai dissaa J:tä. Kaikki mitä tapahtui on tasan kahden ihmisen aiheuttamaa ja me olimme vastuussa. Muita on turha syyttää tai vihata sen takia.

Mut joo, menneet ovat menneitä. Olen liian väsynyt ja kiireinen muotoilemaan tuota paremmin. Tjana.

[hiljainen]

Ymmärrän. Sehän on hyvä. (En mie nyt syyttämistä ajatellut varsinaisesti, mutta joo.)

Lupaisin olla enää ottamatta asiaa esille, ellei tämän pahuksen journaalin koko konsepti jollain mystisellä tavalla provosoisi äärimmäiseen angstiin ja henkeäsalpaaviin tunnustuksiin. Tai ehkä se olen vain minä.

Mutta kuitenkin.

Olen myös päättänyt olla lukitsematta viestejä siinä epämääräisessä toivossa, että jos minulla joskus oikeasti on jotain salattavaa, Murphyn laki vetää jonkun ulkopuolisen lukemaan sen - ja saan siis lukijoita. Öhöm.

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[anonymous]

Thank you for developing this website. The stories here are worth reading many times over in order to refresh us time and time again to do good and positive things and inspire or influence others to do the same.