Reita x Ruki : Bitter [part two]
Title: Bitter
Author: hime_bakachii
Chapter: 1/1
Rating/Genre: PG16/lovey-dovey stuffs, romance, humor (?), FLUFF <3
Band: the GazettE
Warnings: yaoi, some kind of rushing
Pairing(s): Reita x Ruki
Comments: I must write my idea or it will be gone!! Well I really enjoy writing this sweety fluff :) short wet kiss at the end… doesn’t wanna ruin the sweetness!
Summary: But the invisible wall between us whom you can’t see, we’re BEST FRIEND. I’m your guardian angel. Are we going to change that strong bond and give it all to something called love…and lust? Are you ready to break that bond…?
This is just a fiction, if there’s any same name, title, or place it’s all pure of coincidence. I really have no idea if there’s a fic titled this before.
*~*~*~*~*
[Ruki’s/ Takanori’s POV]
I frowned, and I pulled back, looking to his… beautiful dark orbs. They glisten under the dim park lamp light, why I just realized that they’re so pretty? I know, because I’m stupid. I’m such a fool; I even didn’t realize that I am one of the luckiest people in the world until I reached twenty! But still, I really wanna know the answer-which I don’t have any idea what it is. What thing could make Reita so, so care about me? I know, we’ve been together forever. But I’d hurt him twice! There’s not always second chance right? But why, Reita is… so…. I don’t know, he’s just so... confusing in a way.
“Rei… please tell me,” I begged, stroking his cheeks. A breath fume swiftly appeared when he sighed-and it disappeared as fast as it appears. He looked down. I won’t get the answer, I see.
“Okay, Rei… I’m sorry, again, and I… think I should figure it out by myself?” he faced me and smiled.
“Yes, you should, or things won’t work,” he said in a little tone of amusement. I pouted and sniffled.
“But what if it takes a year, or even… forever for me to figure it out?” then again, he smiled.
“I’ll wait…”
I felt something gripped my heart inside. It ached. Why? Did Reita’s words cause it? But then, I found him standing, and snuck his bare hands inside his jacket pocket. Wait! Reita isn’t wearing any gloves or scarf! He must be so cold! But… but… again… why? Why did he do such things only for a fool like me? Even if we’re best-best-best-best-best-best friend like, for forever, but I think… even your most best friend won’t willing to do such things right? What am I in your eyes, Rei…? What am I to you to made you do such things? Only for me…?
“Aren’t you sleepy?” I heard him yawned. I swiftly stand up, and take off one of my glove. He frowned when I give it to him. I forced him to wear it, and he did. I grabbed his other bare hand with my unclothed one, and laced our hands together. He looked really surprised. I smiled. Now it’s my turn to do something for him. We walked out the park, and we got home. Glad it is Sunday, so we had midnight tea before sleep.
I always wake up before Reita. It never changed since we’ve known each other. I always prepare breakfast, it never changed too. But… he makes history today. Surprisingly in the morning, I found him arranging breakfast. I peeked from my room; he’s still in his winter pajamas, long sweat pants and t-shirt. He’s humming a song I don’t know, but his voice isn’t bad at all. I smiled when he pours maple sauce on my pancakes.
“Now waking up sweet Ruki~” I gasped. S-sweet Ruki?! I’ve miss heard have I?!!
I tiptoed and acted like I’m still sleeping. Still lost in my mind about his words, I heard my door creak open. My heart is thumping, I don’t know. I’m blushing too I think.
“Hey buddy wake up,” I heard him. And I fake a groan.
“Mmh, Rei, I’m sleepy,”
“So you’ll let your pancakes get cold?” I felt him poking my shoulder. Then I turned, looking at him with half open eyes. He smirked, and ruffled my hair. It’s been a long time since he did that to me. I loved the attention. I gave him a wry smile and rubbed my eyes. They felt thicker, is it swollen?
“Oh Ru, your eyes are swollen,” oh yes I guess so. I sat up, gazing to the white ceilings when I saw Reita looking at me. I raised one eyebrow.
“Do they hurt?” he touched my eye brim. Suddenly, an electric wave spread all over my body, my heart thumps more. I liked the feeling. His fingers on my flesh, caressing it softly like he do now.
“No, they don’t hurt,” I smiled to him. But then he leaned, frowning. I blushed, he’s so close! What is he doing?!
“Really? Your eyes are slightly red,” he said, inspecting my eyes. I shook my head, loss of words. When he finally believe me they are okay, he stand up and drag me for breakfast.
“Rei, it’s nice,” the pancakes are so delicious. I don’t know when he learned to cook pancakes, as I know he hates cooking. Anyway, this is very good. He smiled… uh, my heart beats faster! That’s just a casual smile, Ruki! Why are you so weird?? He’s your… well; he is very special but…
“Ah, glad you like it,” he snapped me. I continued to eat nervously. ”Don’t you think it’s been a long time since we go somewhere?” no, Rei. I have gone somewhere, almost every weekend…. With Reila… it’s you… ah, I’m having fun myself.
“Yes! We should go to the mall!” he nodded. I smiled at him and he returned it.
At eleven we’re already in the subway. It’s very crowded, full, but I managed to sit, with Reita standing in front of me. I stared to his boots. When I looked up, he looked down, and smiled as soft as ever. I always loved his smiles. His lips are made so beautiful and perfect. The way it curved into a smile-or a pout when he protested every morning if I wake him up, it was just so… easy to remember, and I don’t wanna forget it. It seems so soft; I’ve never touched it all this time, so I wonder now; I want to touch it. What? Okay Ruki you’re insane. Are you just going to be like “Hey, Rei… can I touch your lips? They seem soft, I’m curious”-ack, I successfully made him think I’m gay. Wait… am I? To be honest I don’t know…
I’ve always loved Reita; even twice I’d left him in a way. It’s not like I really want to but… I just couldn’t manage myself; I easily got drowned with new people and surroundings. Especially when Rei wasn’t around scolding me. I loved his words, and firm tones. It felt nice when someone heard like he really cares about you. He wants to protect me and keep me straight; I know he’d always wanted the best for me. But remembering that fact, I always asking myself and regretted; did I care to him?
I’m nothing, comparing to him. He so understands towards me, he’s always there or here, or anywhere when I need him. But… am I like that? Why is it a one man attention? And honestly why the fuck I just realized these now?! When I’m already-old? I started to hate myself now. I’m so lame… I’m such a cry baby who needs someone to milk me. I’m a lost puppy without Rei. Reita, Reita, Reita, Reita… that name won’t go anywhere from my life ever again.
When he first greeted me when I was three, when I just moved to Kanagawa, I could already feel warmth and kindness. I was so confused where to go when my mom said I should get to know someone while she and dad tidying our new house up. So I went out, walking slowly with my little feet, and I heard a loud funny voice. I turned to the side, and I saw a blonde boy shouting something as he gathered some rocks. I walked along the wall, and hid behind the bushes. Not long after, he saw me-and that was the beginning of this unwritten bond.
I don’t know how to call Reita when people ask who he is-what he is to me. But he always answered first, because he’s always beside me whenever I met new people. “I’m his best friend for too long,” but I disagreed with that somehow even if I laughed. No, Rei, you’re more than that… more Rei… but I don’t know I’m really stuck… I love you, as my best-best-best-best-best-best-best-best friend ever… but I think it’s not worthy to only give you that rank. What if my brother? Brotherly love somewhat? No, you did too much for a brother. Then what…? Oh Rei, why I am so confused and stupid? I’m such a foolish for you, Rei…
I snapped from my thoughts when a familiar, soft hand touched my cheek. When I looked up, once again, Rei’s worried face greeted me. I stopped for a while to inspect his features. The more I looked to him, the more he looks handsome and my chest becomes warm. What do you call this kind of feeling?
“Ru? Seriously, you are not okay, I believe your eyes hurt,” he said in his usual concerned tone. It never changes. But his voice did change. It becomes deeper, and firm, and it makes me feel safety. His earlier high pitched voice had gone long, long, time ago, the voice he used to greet me that time, and the voice he used to call me Taka. I smiled to him. Telling him that I’m okay, I’m very fine, as long as you’re here.
“No, Rei, I’m fine, come on, let’s get down from the train,” I chuckled, and reached his hand. We walked between the human seas. I tightened my grip on his hand. And he did too. Secretly I smiled and reddened. I think it’s a good idea to hold his hand more often starts today….
The white breath fume disappears on the air. We walked down the snowy road along Shibuya. Even though it’s snowing, the people seems never been less. They seemed frustrated, and tired, and cold. But not me; because my precious guardian angel is here with me; holding my hand tight. We are walking slowly to one of the malls there.
“Well, well, the snow is soiling your coat, Ru,” I heard Reita commented. He turns me back, facing him, in front of the mall main entrance. He dusted off the snows on my coat, my hair, and a piece on my nose. I sniffled and giggled. It felt ticklish. When I’m clean from the snowflakes, Reita starts to clean himself. But then I grabbed his hands. I took over his job, and cleaned his coat, even though I should tiptoe a little.
“Hey… thanks, okay? Now we do something like this in turn, okay?” I smiled softly to him. He made a dumb face which I laughed for, but he grinned though. And we walked in together. I love shopping! And I believe Rei knows that. I can’t stop smiling when it comes to something to do with malls, boutiques, and cafes. It felt like my stomach grows happy; I smile, smile, and smile!
“Rei! Look! There! Isn’t that T-shirt cute?”
“Reeei! Come here you!”
I beamed. I don’t care what people think. It’s been so fun, going out with Reita. Truthfully, the first thing I really enjoy isn’t the shopping, but our time together. I felt like… it’s been like around ten years we haven’t go alone together like this. Just two of us. Reita and I. I smiled when my heart gets warm again, every time I think of us… our times forever…
“Ruki…? Hey?” once again, I snapped from my nostalgic recalls.
“Mm?” dumbly, I just murmured my reply. I know! It made Reita getting worrier.
“Oh, please, Ru! Let’s go home if you’re sick,”
“I’m not! I’m fine! Touch my forehead! I’m not warm, see?”
“You’re dying then!” I slapped him and he laughed. I really like his laughter.
“Let’s buy something, Rei,” I suggested. He nodded, and I reached his hand. Like I say, it made my insides very warm. Wait… my cheeks are getting warm too! Oh nooo! I’m blushing!
“Ruki!! You’re red!!”
“Stop it! I’m fine!!” I dragged him to Starbucks.
When we already get our own beverages, we sat on the corner table, and drink in silent. Actually my heart is thumping rapidly. Reita is so handsome and all cool with a cup of steaming coffee on his hand and a croissant on the other. He is looking to the street out there, with me who am watching him intently.
He had grown so different. Being so very much stupid again, I just realized that he’s more handsome! Like…. really handsome. Plus his noseband is now hanging on his nose everywhere. Secretly, I’ve missed his small, cute nose I used to pinch long time ago. It is not that I hate his noseband; I’m just missing his funny nose. And his figure is getting bigger. He’s a tall guy, not small like me. And seriously, his smiles and manner had changed. He’s being more protective to me, and his childish and wry smiles replaced by a heartwarming, charming, cool, and meaningful smiles. His grins and smirks are rarely exposed, but still, his smiles towards me are still the smiles I knew long time ago. I never felt a meaning-change in those smiles. It is still pure of care, and full of love. Wait… full of… love?
“Ru?”
“Yeah?”
“Stop making me worried,”
“I’m sorry,”
“You seemed distracted,”
“I am,”
“You’re acting strange,”
“Yep,”
“You’re cold,”
“No,”
“And because you’re cold, you’re red,”
“I’m not sick, dammit! I was blushing!!” s-s-s-s-STUPID!!!
Oh my God! OH MY DEAR LORD GOD!! What I have said?!!! No, no, Rei!! You’ve miss heard!! Seriously!! NOO Reita don’t you dare put that questioning eyes upon me!
“Pardon…? Blushing? You were blushing…?” Oh boy! What should I say!!?
“Ru…?” I felt like crying in embarrassment now! I’m getting redder and that made things gone worse!
“I… I…” but Reita cuts me first.
“You must’ve seen a beautiful girl then…? I see,”
I gaped. What did you say? What did you say?? Oh Rei… no… I was looking straightly to you when I blushed… you, Rei, you! Why can’t I say it now?? Say it, Ruki!!
“No, Rei… no, I was looking to you, I felt my heart getting warm by you being beside me, I love you Re--”
WAIT!! What!!? Who said that?!!
No, no, no, no… I’m sure I’ve gone insane! INSANE! Oh, what’ve happen to me…?
“Hey, Ru, I’m hungry,”
After that, I found myself sitting next to Rei in a restaurant. An Italian restaurant and they served my favorite fusilli with tuna sauce. It’s still steaming in front of me, while I stared to it like it is kind of alien. I sat like a lost disorder until Rei brought me back to reality by nudging my arm softly.
“Hey, they’ll be cold,” his tender voice soothed me.
“Um yeah, I’ll eat it,” I smiled, and reached my spoon. I tugged it to the cheesy food and started to eat with blank mind. I’m blank. The only thing in my head is… what made me think that kind of answer for Reita’s question? What’ve made something forced me to hold his hand more often? What’ve made my heart beats faster when he smiled to me, when he’s beside me, when he cared more to me…? No, the only thing in my head is… Reita.
Rei offered his hot lime to me. Still with blank mind, I reached it and drink it carelessly. It is fucking hot and I hurt my tongue.
“Ah!” I hissed, automatically put down the cup. I felt Reita approached me.
“What happen?!! Oh my, Ru! Open your mouth!” and I did. He looks extra worried as he inspected my tongue. It felt slightly stingy, and I believe it’s swollen. Reita sighed as I closed my mouth. “Be careful! Now let’s go home and rest, okay?”
I nodded. We took shinkansen again and walked home together under the falling snow. Again, hand in hand. I’ve addicted to this thing, I suppose. And when we reached our apartment, I felt such disappointment in my heart when Rei should broke our hands apart to open the door. We’ve got tired, and without thinking about college tomorrow, we changed into pajamas and went to our own rooms.
And again, when I turned off my lamp, I felt a sudden emptiness. I hate the feeling. It is weird. All day Reita’s been always beside me. And now when I should go to sleep, he feels like far away. Which actually it’s just the wall separating us. No, it is still empty. I want… him… here. But… what should I say to get him here sleeping with me…? AH, forget it! What are you! You’re not a five years old boy again! And what would Reita think about you, Ruki?
THIS IS INSANE!
I gripped to my sheets. No! I can’t sleep! And seriously it’s been thirty minutes since I have the idea to sleep with Rei… okay, okay, dear myself, I will sleep with him.
The door creaked open when I slowly pushed it open. His room is dim, but I don’t hear his snore. Is he asleep yet?
“Rei…?” I called out in the dark.
“Ru…?” his husky voice greeted me. I walked in and closed the door behind me. I walked; hugging my pillow and saw him sat up. He had taken off his noseband, I smiled to that. Then I saw his eyes are as wide as mine. He can’t sleep too?
“Anything wrong, Ru? It is already 11 PM you know,”
“Um… I had a nightmare,” what a joke.
“Eh? So you can’t sleep? Me too,”
“I’m sorry… but can I sleep with you?” I pleaded.
He chuckled softly. Made me blush silently, and I hope he won’t notice.
“Man, Ruki, I would never mind even if you snuck like a cat beside me,” I can feel excitement fill up my mind. I smiled eagerly and childishly, and swiftly sank on his side. He ruffled my head lovingly, and pulled the blanket to cover our bodies. I nuzzled my nose to the pillow. I faced him, and he faced me too. We shared a sleepy smile. When he broke our eye contact to lie on his back, I rolled to the other side and fell with a loud thump.
“RUKI!”
I rubbed my butt. Damn it, maybe I am lying on the peak of the bed. So stupid. Reita helped me to lie back again. And this time, he surprisingly circled his arms around my thin waist. I tried not to gasp when our noses touched. It is veeeerrry close! I can even feel his hot and steady breathe on my face. It smells like coffee.
“What are you doing? You don’t have any bolster to hug, do you?” really, I’m trying to act casually but I’m nervous! I’m red!! I’m panic!!!
“Yes, you’re the warmest bolster I’ve ever hug, and to prevent you on falling again, Ru,”
We laughed together before falling into a deep beautiful dream….
“I love you, Ru…”
Is that my dream…?
It feels like we’re small again. My heart flutters crazily when Reita’s face is the first thing I saw the next morning. It feels like when I was five and he was six, we camped with the other kindergarten students. We camped near a lake, and that time I was afraid a Kappa would attack us. But then you embraced me in your arms and hugged me until the next sunshine came.
I smiled, recalling those sweet childhood memories with you. It is always been you because the only person I know so close for forever are you. I can’t remember any of the times I had played with other kids. Like my brain is only for remembering you, you, Reita, and Reita. Only for my Akira. My…. Akira.
I really want to touch you. I want to feel your warm cheeks. I want to trail my fingertips upon your lips. I’ve been craving for you. Craving for touching you… Rei. If only you know…
Then a strong feeling forced me to touch your lips with mine. I leaned over to catch those perfectly shaped lips of you. My heart sped up when our flesh touched. Oh Rei… if only I touched it earlier, I could’ve been addicted to kiss it. Your lips are incredibly warm and soft, which I am falling in love with.
My first kiss, you’ve stole it Rei. And my first confession to you is going to happen today.
I know… now I know after I had that dream last night. I dreamed that you said you love me.
I know what kind of feelings these are.
Love.
But my feelings aren’t just a dream.
I love you too…
¬¬---------
“Ruki,” I heard your husky morning voice called my name. I was just finished cooking the breakfast; sunny-side down, toasts, orange juice, and apples. I turned from the kitchen counter I cleaned and smiled to you. One thing that never changes too; your messy hair, and I always have the reason to start my day with a laugh.
“What’s today’s breakfast…?” he yawned and rubbed his head. I giggled and approached him. Standing in front of him, I smiled remembering what I have done early in the morning to your lips. Now the lips I’ve touched are pouting. Oh please, Rei, you made me want to attack it again.
“Open your eyeees Mr. Sticky Eyes! Check it by yourself won’t you?” I said teasing, tapping his cheeks. And it always worked. His eyes shot open.
“Aah, sunny-side down,”
He sat in front of me, busy with the butter he can’t open. I put my sunny-side down inside my toasts and bite it. Rei is eating cutely! He is so cute when he’s like this.
“Rei, I want to tell you something,” he looked at me. “I’m gay,” he choked his toast. I swiftly handed him a glass of water I had prepared, I know he would choke when he heard this.
“Now you hate me, aren’t you?” I asked. But he shook his head surely. My heart flutters.
“And that time I blushed because of--”
“…so you’re blushing that time because you saw a pretty guy?”
“STOP IT!” I beamed. Reita’s mouth is hanging in shock. I’ve screamed to him. Dammit.
“Would you stop finishing my sentences?!! Let me finish it myself or you will never, ever understand the fact which is going on now!”
“O-okay… sorry,”
“First, I… I blushed not because of I saw any pretty creatures like you said! I blushed because of you,” I looked down, not daring to look at his expression.
Then I stopped. Wait… what am I doing now…? Confessing? Without serious plan I confessed….! What will happen next?! No, no, no, if Reita knows I like him, then he will… he will… be disgusted and leave me! Stupid! Stupid you Ruki!!! You’re fucking stupid!! Now my eyes are teary. It is too late!
“Second…? Please continue, I’m all ears,” I was shocked by his response. There is no disgusted tone in his words. Absolutely no disgusted tone. What will happen to me then? I guess… I should finish what I’ve started.
“Second….I… I….”
“I love you, Rei, are you going to say that…?” he grinned when I shot my head straight to see him.
“Well… this time… I let you finished my sentences,” I smiled sheepishly and blushed. Then we laughed together. Very hard, early in the morning.
Once again, I found myself in his embrace, in his super warm and safe embrace. We sat on the sofa, hugging each other. Listening to our own heart beats. Enjoying the time together.
“It seems like… you’ve found out why,” he said to me softly. I played my fingers on his chest and nodded. “It didn’t takes forever,”
“I’m such a slow thinker, you know, I’m so stupid,”
“Well, yea, and I am seriously in love with that small foolish who is cuddling with me now,”
I looked up to him and found him smiling tenderly. Once again… once again I should say that I can’t believe… that my stupidity would increase. I really am stupid. It takes me almost a week to realize what my feelings are towards my guardian angel. I love him. I love Reita. I love my best-best-best-best-best-best friend. But there is one thing I am afraid of…
“Rei… I do love you,” I said bluntly, drawing a ruffle to my hair. “But… I’m afraid that… it will change everything and when we… broke up, or something… we will be apart, and we… will be separated, I hate to think of that,”
“So… we just have to keep this on and never broke up right? And then we will get married and have kids, and we will be together forever,” I laughed and touched at the same time. I felt my eyes wet.
“Aw, don’t cry, Ru,” he said, kissing my nose.
“I kissed you this morning,”
“I know,”
“You know?!!”
“Yeah, and that’s why I can finish your last sentences of your confession earlier,”
“H-how dare youuuu!”
You silenced me with your grinning lips. You kissed me roughly, and laid me to the sofa. I can feel your hands grazing over my stomach and chest, and slowly you moved lower as you licked my mouth. You’ve found your way to it. I kissed you back, and I did something I wanna do lately. I moaned your name. You chuckled, then dipped your snaky tongue into my mouth again. You sucked every inch of my wet cavern, as your free hands explored my lower body. I shuddered as the sensation taking over me. And suddenly, you pulled away, leaving me flushed and panting ominously.
“I’m done,” he teased. No! Don’t you dare!
I hit him repeatedly, playfully. Excited, confused, and in love, at the same time… oh… my heart feels like flying up high now…. Reached the seventh nirvana, and made me feel alive.
“Now take me,” I demanded.
Those sweet memories are flashing on my head as you slowly leaned to catch my lips. I felt no more doubt. I felt no more worries. I felt that I won’t do something stupid again now. Because I’ve found my soul mate. No, I’ve found it long, long time ago. I found him, and we’ve tied our bond since the first time we realized our existence. It just needs time for love to grow. And it had grown too strong, that I believe no one could destroy it.
Bitter-End. :D
A/N: UWOOOOO!!! I’m getting smarter on making fic?!!! *slapped* LOLOLOL I am so happy that I could finish this!!! I thought I would leave it abandoned and I’ve imagined it will be ended up in my Recycle Bin XD BUT IT IS NOT!! Yay!! You know, I’m forcing myself at the end. So, I believe you noticed that the story becomes uglier at the end…. And it had lost like a half of the fluffiness and purity (?) from the first part?? Becauseeee you know, when I’m not in the mood, then I’ll lost the current writing style. I admit writing from Ruki’s POV is harder than Rei’s~~ but anw, I’VE FINISHED THISSS!!! WOHOOOOO
Comments! Are! LOVED! L-O-V-E-D! *cheerleader style* ❤❤✖
░Previous Part here
Author: hime_bakachii
Chapter: 1/1
Rating/Genre: PG16/lovey-dovey stuffs, romance, humor (?), FLUFF <3
Band: the GazettE
Warnings: yaoi, some kind of rushing
Pairing(s): Reita x Ruki
Comments: I must write my idea or it will be gone!! Well I really enjoy writing this sweety fluff :) short wet kiss at the end… doesn’t wanna ruin the sweetness!
Summary: But the invisible wall between us whom you can’t see, we’re BEST FRIEND. I’m your guardian angel. Are we going to change that strong bond and give it all to something called love…and lust? Are you ready to break that bond…?
This is just a fiction, if there’s any same name, title, or place it’s all pure of coincidence. I really have no idea if there’s a fic titled this before.
*~*~*~*~*
[Ruki’s/ Takanori’s POV]
I frowned, and I pulled back, looking to his… beautiful dark orbs. They glisten under the dim park lamp light, why I just realized that they’re so pretty? I know, because I’m stupid. I’m such a fool; I even didn’t realize that I am one of the luckiest people in the world until I reached twenty! But still, I really wanna know the answer-which I don’t have any idea what it is. What thing could make Reita so, so care about me? I know, we’ve been together forever. But I’d hurt him twice! There’s not always second chance right? But why, Reita is… so…. I don’t know, he’s just so... confusing in a way.
“Rei… please tell me,” I begged, stroking his cheeks. A breath fume swiftly appeared when he sighed-and it disappeared as fast as it appears. He looked down. I won’t get the answer, I see.
“Okay, Rei… I’m sorry, again, and I… think I should figure it out by myself?” he faced me and smiled.
“Yes, you should, or things won’t work,” he said in a little tone of amusement. I pouted and sniffled.
“But what if it takes a year, or even… forever for me to figure it out?” then again, he smiled.
“I’ll wait…”
I felt something gripped my heart inside. It ached. Why? Did Reita’s words cause it? But then, I found him standing, and snuck his bare hands inside his jacket pocket. Wait! Reita isn’t wearing any gloves or scarf! He must be so cold! But… but… again… why? Why did he do such things only for a fool like me? Even if we’re best-best-best-best-best-best friend like, for forever, but I think… even your most best friend won’t willing to do such things right? What am I in your eyes, Rei…? What am I to you to made you do such things? Only for me…?
“Aren’t you sleepy?” I heard him yawned. I swiftly stand up, and take off one of my glove. He frowned when I give it to him. I forced him to wear it, and he did. I grabbed his other bare hand with my unclothed one, and laced our hands together. He looked really surprised. I smiled. Now it’s my turn to do something for him. We walked out the park, and we got home. Glad it is Sunday, so we had midnight tea before sleep.
I always wake up before Reita. It never changed since we’ve known each other. I always prepare breakfast, it never changed too. But… he makes history today. Surprisingly in the morning, I found him arranging breakfast. I peeked from my room; he’s still in his winter pajamas, long sweat pants and t-shirt. He’s humming a song I don’t know, but his voice isn’t bad at all. I smiled when he pours maple sauce on my pancakes.
“Now waking up sweet Ruki~” I gasped. S-sweet Ruki?! I’ve miss heard have I?!!
I tiptoed and acted like I’m still sleeping. Still lost in my mind about his words, I heard my door creak open. My heart is thumping, I don’t know. I’m blushing too I think.
“Hey buddy wake up,” I heard him. And I fake a groan.
“Mmh, Rei, I’m sleepy,”
“So you’ll let your pancakes get cold?” I felt him poking my shoulder. Then I turned, looking at him with half open eyes. He smirked, and ruffled my hair. It’s been a long time since he did that to me. I loved the attention. I gave him a wry smile and rubbed my eyes. They felt thicker, is it swollen?
“Oh Ru, your eyes are swollen,” oh yes I guess so. I sat up, gazing to the white ceilings when I saw Reita looking at me. I raised one eyebrow.
“Do they hurt?” he touched my eye brim. Suddenly, an electric wave spread all over my body, my heart thumps more. I liked the feeling. His fingers on my flesh, caressing it softly like he do now.
“No, they don’t hurt,” I smiled to him. But then he leaned, frowning. I blushed, he’s so close! What is he doing?!
“Really? Your eyes are slightly red,” he said, inspecting my eyes. I shook my head, loss of words. When he finally believe me they are okay, he stand up and drag me for breakfast.
“Rei, it’s nice,” the pancakes are so delicious. I don’t know when he learned to cook pancakes, as I know he hates cooking. Anyway, this is very good. He smiled… uh, my heart beats faster! That’s just a casual smile, Ruki! Why are you so weird?? He’s your… well; he is very special but…
“Ah, glad you like it,” he snapped me. I continued to eat nervously. ”Don’t you think it’s been a long time since we go somewhere?” no, Rei. I have gone somewhere, almost every weekend…. With Reila… it’s you… ah, I’m having fun myself.
“Yes! We should go to the mall!” he nodded. I smiled at him and he returned it.
At eleven we’re already in the subway. It’s very crowded, full, but I managed to sit, with Reita standing in front of me. I stared to his boots. When I looked up, he looked down, and smiled as soft as ever. I always loved his smiles. His lips are made so beautiful and perfect. The way it curved into a smile-or a pout when he protested every morning if I wake him up, it was just so… easy to remember, and I don’t wanna forget it. It seems so soft; I’ve never touched it all this time, so I wonder now; I want to touch it. What? Okay Ruki you’re insane. Are you just going to be like “Hey, Rei… can I touch your lips? They seem soft, I’m curious”-ack, I successfully made him think I’m gay. Wait… am I? To be honest I don’t know…
I’ve always loved Reita; even twice I’d left him in a way. It’s not like I really want to but… I just couldn’t manage myself; I easily got drowned with new people and surroundings. Especially when Rei wasn’t around scolding me. I loved his words, and firm tones. It felt nice when someone heard like he really cares about you. He wants to protect me and keep me straight; I know he’d always wanted the best for me. But remembering that fact, I always asking myself and regretted; did I care to him?
I’m nothing, comparing to him. He so understands towards me, he’s always there or here, or anywhere when I need him. But… am I like that? Why is it a one man attention? And honestly why the fuck I just realized these now?! When I’m already-old? I started to hate myself now. I’m so lame… I’m such a cry baby who needs someone to milk me. I’m a lost puppy without Rei. Reita, Reita, Reita, Reita… that name won’t go anywhere from my life ever again.
When he first greeted me when I was three, when I just moved to Kanagawa, I could already feel warmth and kindness. I was so confused where to go when my mom said I should get to know someone while she and dad tidying our new house up. So I went out, walking slowly with my little feet, and I heard a loud funny voice. I turned to the side, and I saw a blonde boy shouting something as he gathered some rocks. I walked along the wall, and hid behind the bushes. Not long after, he saw me-and that was the beginning of this unwritten bond.
I don’t know how to call Reita when people ask who he is-what he is to me. But he always answered first, because he’s always beside me whenever I met new people. “I’m his best friend for too long,” but I disagreed with that somehow even if I laughed. No, Rei, you’re more than that… more Rei… but I don’t know I’m really stuck… I love you, as my best-best-best-best-best-best-best-best friend ever… but I think it’s not worthy to only give you that rank. What if my brother? Brotherly love somewhat? No, you did too much for a brother. Then what…? Oh Rei, why I am so confused and stupid? I’m such a foolish for you, Rei…
I snapped from my thoughts when a familiar, soft hand touched my cheek. When I looked up, once again, Rei’s worried face greeted me. I stopped for a while to inspect his features. The more I looked to him, the more he looks handsome and my chest becomes warm. What do you call this kind of feeling?
“Ru? Seriously, you are not okay, I believe your eyes hurt,” he said in his usual concerned tone. It never changes. But his voice did change. It becomes deeper, and firm, and it makes me feel safety. His earlier high pitched voice had gone long, long, time ago, the voice he used to greet me that time, and the voice he used to call me Taka. I smiled to him. Telling him that I’m okay, I’m very fine, as long as you’re here.
“No, Rei, I’m fine, come on, let’s get down from the train,” I chuckled, and reached his hand. We walked between the human seas. I tightened my grip on his hand. And he did too. Secretly I smiled and reddened. I think it’s a good idea to hold his hand more often starts today….
The white breath fume disappears on the air. We walked down the snowy road along Shibuya. Even though it’s snowing, the people seems never been less. They seemed frustrated, and tired, and cold. But not me; because my precious guardian angel is here with me; holding my hand tight. We are walking slowly to one of the malls there.
“Well, well, the snow is soiling your coat, Ru,” I heard Reita commented. He turns me back, facing him, in front of the mall main entrance. He dusted off the snows on my coat, my hair, and a piece on my nose. I sniffled and giggled. It felt ticklish. When I’m clean from the snowflakes, Reita starts to clean himself. But then I grabbed his hands. I took over his job, and cleaned his coat, even though I should tiptoe a little.
“Hey… thanks, okay? Now we do something like this in turn, okay?” I smiled softly to him. He made a dumb face which I laughed for, but he grinned though. And we walked in together. I love shopping! And I believe Rei knows that. I can’t stop smiling when it comes to something to do with malls, boutiques, and cafes. It felt like my stomach grows happy; I smile, smile, and smile!
“Rei! Look! There! Isn’t that T-shirt cute?”
“Reeei! Come here you!”
I beamed. I don’t care what people think. It’s been so fun, going out with Reita. Truthfully, the first thing I really enjoy isn’t the shopping, but our time together. I felt like… it’s been like around ten years we haven’t go alone together like this. Just two of us. Reita and I. I smiled when my heart gets warm again, every time I think of us… our times forever…
“Ruki…? Hey?” once again, I snapped from my nostalgic recalls.
“Mm?” dumbly, I just murmured my reply. I know! It made Reita getting worrier.
“Oh, please, Ru! Let’s go home if you’re sick,”
“I’m not! I’m fine! Touch my forehead! I’m not warm, see?”
“You’re dying then!” I slapped him and he laughed. I really like his laughter.
“Let’s buy something, Rei,” I suggested. He nodded, and I reached his hand. Like I say, it made my insides very warm. Wait… my cheeks are getting warm too! Oh nooo! I’m blushing!
“Ruki!! You’re red!!”
“Stop it! I’m fine!!” I dragged him to Starbucks.
When we already get our own beverages, we sat on the corner table, and drink in silent. Actually my heart is thumping rapidly. Reita is so handsome and all cool with a cup of steaming coffee on his hand and a croissant on the other. He is looking to the street out there, with me who am watching him intently.
He had grown so different. Being so very much stupid again, I just realized that he’s more handsome! Like…. really handsome. Plus his noseband is now hanging on his nose everywhere. Secretly, I’ve missed his small, cute nose I used to pinch long time ago. It is not that I hate his noseband; I’m just missing his funny nose. And his figure is getting bigger. He’s a tall guy, not small like me. And seriously, his smiles and manner had changed. He’s being more protective to me, and his childish and wry smiles replaced by a heartwarming, charming, cool, and meaningful smiles. His grins and smirks are rarely exposed, but still, his smiles towards me are still the smiles I knew long time ago. I never felt a meaning-change in those smiles. It is still pure of care, and full of love. Wait… full of… love?
“Ru?”
“Yeah?”
“Stop making me worried,”
“I’m sorry,”
“You seemed distracted,”
“I am,”
“You’re acting strange,”
“Yep,”
“You’re cold,”
“No,”
“And because you’re cold, you’re red,”
“I’m not sick, dammit! I was blushing!!” s-s-s-s-STUPID!!!
Oh my God! OH MY DEAR LORD GOD!! What I have said?!!! No, no, Rei!! You’ve miss heard!! Seriously!! NOO Reita don’t you dare put that questioning eyes upon me!
“Pardon…? Blushing? You were blushing…?” Oh boy! What should I say!!?
“Ru…?” I felt like crying in embarrassment now! I’m getting redder and that made things gone worse!
“I… I…” but Reita cuts me first.
“You must’ve seen a beautiful girl then…? I see,”
I gaped. What did you say? What did you say?? Oh Rei… no… I was looking straightly to you when I blushed… you, Rei, you! Why can’t I say it now?? Say it, Ruki!!
“No, Rei… no, I was looking to you, I felt my heart getting warm by you being beside me, I love you Re--”
WAIT!! What!!? Who said that?!!
No, no, no, no… I’m sure I’ve gone insane! INSANE! Oh, what’ve happen to me…?
“Hey, Ru, I’m hungry,”
After that, I found myself sitting next to Rei in a restaurant. An Italian restaurant and they served my favorite fusilli with tuna sauce. It’s still steaming in front of me, while I stared to it like it is kind of alien. I sat like a lost disorder until Rei brought me back to reality by nudging my arm softly.
“Hey, they’ll be cold,” his tender voice soothed me.
“Um yeah, I’ll eat it,” I smiled, and reached my spoon. I tugged it to the cheesy food and started to eat with blank mind. I’m blank. The only thing in my head is… what made me think that kind of answer for Reita’s question? What’ve made something forced me to hold his hand more often? What’ve made my heart beats faster when he smiled to me, when he’s beside me, when he cared more to me…? No, the only thing in my head is… Reita.
Rei offered his hot lime to me. Still with blank mind, I reached it and drink it carelessly. It is fucking hot and I hurt my tongue.
“Ah!” I hissed, automatically put down the cup. I felt Reita approached me.
“What happen?!! Oh my, Ru! Open your mouth!” and I did. He looks extra worried as he inspected my tongue. It felt slightly stingy, and I believe it’s swollen. Reita sighed as I closed my mouth. “Be careful! Now let’s go home and rest, okay?”
I nodded. We took shinkansen again and walked home together under the falling snow. Again, hand in hand. I’ve addicted to this thing, I suppose. And when we reached our apartment, I felt such disappointment in my heart when Rei should broke our hands apart to open the door. We’ve got tired, and without thinking about college tomorrow, we changed into pajamas and went to our own rooms.
And again, when I turned off my lamp, I felt a sudden emptiness. I hate the feeling. It is weird. All day Reita’s been always beside me. And now when I should go to sleep, he feels like far away. Which actually it’s just the wall separating us. No, it is still empty. I want… him… here. But… what should I say to get him here sleeping with me…? AH, forget it! What are you! You’re not a five years old boy again! And what would Reita think about you, Ruki?
THIS IS INSANE!
I gripped to my sheets. No! I can’t sleep! And seriously it’s been thirty minutes since I have the idea to sleep with Rei… okay, okay, dear myself, I will sleep with him.
The door creaked open when I slowly pushed it open. His room is dim, but I don’t hear his snore. Is he asleep yet?
“Rei…?” I called out in the dark.
“Ru…?” his husky voice greeted me. I walked in and closed the door behind me. I walked; hugging my pillow and saw him sat up. He had taken off his noseband, I smiled to that. Then I saw his eyes are as wide as mine. He can’t sleep too?
“Anything wrong, Ru? It is already 11 PM you know,”
“Um… I had a nightmare,” what a joke.
“Eh? So you can’t sleep? Me too,”
“I’m sorry… but can I sleep with you?” I pleaded.
He chuckled softly. Made me blush silently, and I hope he won’t notice.
“Man, Ruki, I would never mind even if you snuck like a cat beside me,” I can feel excitement fill up my mind. I smiled eagerly and childishly, and swiftly sank on his side. He ruffled my head lovingly, and pulled the blanket to cover our bodies. I nuzzled my nose to the pillow. I faced him, and he faced me too. We shared a sleepy smile. When he broke our eye contact to lie on his back, I rolled to the other side and fell with a loud thump.
“RUKI!”
I rubbed my butt. Damn it, maybe I am lying on the peak of the bed. So stupid. Reita helped me to lie back again. And this time, he surprisingly circled his arms around my thin waist. I tried not to gasp when our noses touched. It is veeeerrry close! I can even feel his hot and steady breathe on my face. It smells like coffee.
“What are you doing? You don’t have any bolster to hug, do you?” really, I’m trying to act casually but I’m nervous! I’m red!! I’m panic!!!
“Yes, you’re the warmest bolster I’ve ever hug, and to prevent you on falling again, Ru,”
We laughed together before falling into a deep beautiful dream….
“I love you, Ru…”
Is that my dream…?
It feels like we’re small again. My heart flutters crazily when Reita’s face is the first thing I saw the next morning. It feels like when I was five and he was six, we camped with the other kindergarten students. We camped near a lake, and that time I was afraid a Kappa would attack us. But then you embraced me in your arms and hugged me until the next sunshine came.
I smiled, recalling those sweet childhood memories with you. It is always been you because the only person I know so close for forever are you. I can’t remember any of the times I had played with other kids. Like my brain is only for remembering you, you, Reita, and Reita. Only for my Akira. My…. Akira.
I really want to touch you. I want to feel your warm cheeks. I want to trail my fingertips upon your lips. I’ve been craving for you. Craving for touching you… Rei. If only you know…
Then a strong feeling forced me to touch your lips with mine. I leaned over to catch those perfectly shaped lips of you. My heart sped up when our flesh touched. Oh Rei… if only I touched it earlier, I could’ve been addicted to kiss it. Your lips are incredibly warm and soft, which I am falling in love with.
My first kiss, you’ve stole it Rei. And my first confession to you is going to happen today.
I know… now I know after I had that dream last night. I dreamed that you said you love me.
I know what kind of feelings these are.
Love.
But my feelings aren’t just a dream.
I love you too…
¬¬---------
“Ruki,” I heard your husky morning voice called my name. I was just finished cooking the breakfast; sunny-side down, toasts, orange juice, and apples. I turned from the kitchen counter I cleaned and smiled to you. One thing that never changes too; your messy hair, and I always have the reason to start my day with a laugh.
“What’s today’s breakfast…?” he yawned and rubbed his head. I giggled and approached him. Standing in front of him, I smiled remembering what I have done early in the morning to your lips. Now the lips I’ve touched are pouting. Oh please, Rei, you made me want to attack it again.
“Open your eyeees Mr. Sticky Eyes! Check it by yourself won’t you?” I said teasing, tapping his cheeks. And it always worked. His eyes shot open.
“Aah, sunny-side down,”
He sat in front of me, busy with the butter he can’t open. I put my sunny-side down inside my toasts and bite it. Rei is eating cutely! He is so cute when he’s like this.
“Rei, I want to tell you something,” he looked at me. “I’m gay,” he choked his toast. I swiftly handed him a glass of water I had prepared, I know he would choke when he heard this.
“Now you hate me, aren’t you?” I asked. But he shook his head surely. My heart flutters.
“And that time I blushed because of--”
“…so you’re blushing that time because you saw a pretty guy?”
“STOP IT!” I beamed. Reita’s mouth is hanging in shock. I’ve screamed to him. Dammit.
“Would you stop finishing my sentences?!! Let me finish it myself or you will never, ever understand the fact which is going on now!”
“O-okay… sorry,”
“First, I… I blushed not because of I saw any pretty creatures like you said! I blushed because of you,” I looked down, not daring to look at his expression.
Then I stopped. Wait… what am I doing now…? Confessing? Without serious plan I confessed….! What will happen next?! No, no, no, if Reita knows I like him, then he will… he will… be disgusted and leave me! Stupid! Stupid you Ruki!!! You’re fucking stupid!! Now my eyes are teary. It is too late!
“Second…? Please continue, I’m all ears,” I was shocked by his response. There is no disgusted tone in his words. Absolutely no disgusted tone. What will happen to me then? I guess… I should finish what I’ve started.
“Second….I… I….”
“I love you, Rei, are you going to say that…?” he grinned when I shot my head straight to see him.
“Well… this time… I let you finished my sentences,” I smiled sheepishly and blushed. Then we laughed together. Very hard, early in the morning.
Once again, I found myself in his embrace, in his super warm and safe embrace. We sat on the sofa, hugging each other. Listening to our own heart beats. Enjoying the time together.
“It seems like… you’ve found out why,” he said to me softly. I played my fingers on his chest and nodded. “It didn’t takes forever,”
“I’m such a slow thinker, you know, I’m so stupid,”
“Well, yea, and I am seriously in love with that small foolish who is cuddling with me now,”
I looked up to him and found him smiling tenderly. Once again… once again I should say that I can’t believe… that my stupidity would increase. I really am stupid. It takes me almost a week to realize what my feelings are towards my guardian angel. I love him. I love Reita. I love my best-best-best-best-best-best friend. But there is one thing I am afraid of…
“Rei… I do love you,” I said bluntly, drawing a ruffle to my hair. “But… I’m afraid that… it will change everything and when we… broke up, or something… we will be apart, and we… will be separated, I hate to think of that,”
“So… we just have to keep this on and never broke up right? And then we will get married and have kids, and we will be together forever,” I laughed and touched at the same time. I felt my eyes wet.
“Aw, don’t cry, Ru,” he said, kissing my nose.
“I kissed you this morning,”
“I know,”
“You know?!!”
“Yeah, and that’s why I can finish your last sentences of your confession earlier,”
“H-how dare youuuu!”
You silenced me with your grinning lips. You kissed me roughly, and laid me to the sofa. I can feel your hands grazing over my stomach and chest, and slowly you moved lower as you licked my mouth. You’ve found your way to it. I kissed you back, and I did something I wanna do lately. I moaned your name. You chuckled, then dipped your snaky tongue into my mouth again. You sucked every inch of my wet cavern, as your free hands explored my lower body. I shuddered as the sensation taking over me. And suddenly, you pulled away, leaving me flushed and panting ominously.
“I’m done,” he teased. No! Don’t you dare!
I hit him repeatedly, playfully. Excited, confused, and in love, at the same time… oh… my heart feels like flying up high now…. Reached the seventh nirvana, and made me feel alive.
“Now take me,” I demanded.
Those sweet memories are flashing on my head as you slowly leaned to catch my lips. I felt no more doubt. I felt no more worries. I felt that I won’t do something stupid again now. Because I’ve found my soul mate. No, I’ve found it long, long time ago. I found him, and we’ve tied our bond since the first time we realized our existence. It just needs time for love to grow. And it had grown too strong, that I believe no one could destroy it.
Bitter-End. :D
A/N: UWOOOOO!!! I’m getting smarter on making fic?!!! *slapped* LOLOLOL I am so happy that I could finish this!!! I thought I would leave it abandoned and I’ve imagined it will be ended up in my Recycle Bin XD BUT IT IS NOT!! Yay!! You know, I’m forcing myself at the end. So, I believe you noticed that the story becomes uglier at the end…. And it had lost like a half of the fluffiness and purity (?) from the first part?? Becauseeee you know, when I’m not in the mood, then I’ll lost the current writing style. I admit writing from Ruki’s POV is harder than Rei’s~~ but anw, I’VE FINISHED THISSS!!! WOHOOOOO
Comments! Are! LOVED! L-O-V-E-D! *cheerleader style* ❤❤✖
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