Sexsomnia is a Tragic and Pleasurable Medical Condition (Marshall/Lily/Barney)
Title: Sexsomnia is a Tragic and Pleasurable Medical Condition (1/1)
Author: Lilithisbitter
Pairing: Marshall/Lily/Barney
Rating: NC-17 (For all of the good things that make smut smutatcular)
Timeline: During The Front Porch... Because someone had to go there.
Word Count: 867
Summary: When you share a bed with Barney, you suffer or enjoy the consequences... Taken from a prompt from comment_fic for dreamsofspike whose mind is as a dark a place as mine. Enjoy.
X-posted at mature_himym
Someone's tongue was tracing the folds of her cunt, briefly fucking her with the tip before darting up to roll the hood over her erect clitoris back and forth. Lily giggled. Marshall was obviously being a dirty boy with Barney curled up in the bed beside them. There was an air of guilt too, Barney in the nightshirt looked nineteen and that was pushing it really. "Oooh... Marshall."
Marshall groggily raised his head and turned to her. "Oh hi... Lilypad. This is the best handjob you have ever given me."
"Handjob, but I'm not..."
She could still feel that tongue on her, lips too, expertly licking her pussy with the air of a gourmet or a porn star. "But, wait... if you're there then... who's eating me... and who..."
They both looked down. Sometime in the night, Barney had peeled off her pj bottoms and was now lapping away against her cunt. His hand was beneath Marshall's nightshirt, pumping away. Barney was nude, fully erect, and grinding his cock into the bedsheets, moaning within her pussy. He was also...
"He's asleep," Marshall said. "I think Barney's a sexsomniac." He broke out into a grin at Lily's whimpers or maybe it was because Barney's palm had brushed against his taint in the way he liked. "That's so cool."
"I think Robin's sleep rib eating was cooler," Lily argued as well as any woman who just discovered the wonders of rimming could. Barney's tongue had slipped briefly against the pucker of her anus before he slid himself back up to tongue-fucking her crotch. "But I can see the benefits. I wish he was awake... oh god... oh god... his tongue is so good. Wake him up, Marshmallow. Let's fuck him long and hard. If Robin doesn't want him, he's good for the taking. Finders... fuckers."
Marshall nudged Barney awake. The instant Barney realized where he was, he shot out from between Lily's legs with an "Oh no, not again." He withdrew his hand from Marshall's nightshirt. "Please don't slap me. I'll just go sleep on the couch. I'll just grab my nightshirt and... oh, god, I've got an erection... I'm so sorry. I know you guys are married and..."
Lily started rubbing Barney's bare shoulders. Marshall started rubbing Barney's hair. "Chillax, Barns," Marshall said, "It's perfectly natural to do that. My Lily's pussy is the best tasting pussy there is. It's like the Cinnabon of pussy."
Barney licked his lips as if remembering. His lips were still swollen and coated with her juices. Lily nodded, "Except my pussy... totally better than Cinnabon... Marshall used to be addicted to Cinnabon and then he ate my pussy and now... he's not addicted." Marshall frowned. "Well, maybe just a little."
"I was asleep," Barney said, as if trying to explain it, but it also could because he was trying to get some more tasting sample. "Besides... you married her... so it's kind of your pussy now."
Marshall suddenly smiled and pulled Barney into a long deep kiss, sliding his tongue within the other man's mouth at the same time pinching a perfect pink nipple into erectness and fondling his testicles. Lily's mouth dropped open and her fingers eagerly pinched both of her nipples through her shirt. "Mmmm... baby... that's better than any of my porn movies." She pulled off her nightshirt for better access and resumed the task. "You dirty men. Mama likes. Mama wants more. Eat me out, Barney."
Marshall broke the kiss and pushed Barney's mouth down on her crotch. "You heard the woman. You've got permission, Barnaby," he said, using Barney's full first name. "Make her come and I'll make you come. Our own secret arrangement. You, me, and Lily makes three. You can have her cunt and I'll take your perfect little asshole. I know men have been there before, but it's still so nice and tight. You must have been bred for fucking."
"Sometimes..." Barney said from Lily's folds. "Or sometimes I let a girl take me with a strap on. Or sometimes I fuck myself with a vibrator. You'd like it. It'd hug your dick nice and tight. I love me so much."
"Ooooh... I like that..." Lily squealed, before leaning in close. "You can be our bitch now. Our little blond bitch who never seems to age. You got a picture in the attic, Barney?"
"Maybe..." Barney didn't look scared as Marshall stripped off his nightshirt and coated his fingers with lube. "I get to get fucked by that?" he said with wonder in his blue blue eyes. "Don't take too long, damn it. I want to feel it inside."
Marshall slid his fingers into the tight pucker of Barney's anus. "I will if you keep talking and don't give her pleasure."
Barney nodded and dove back into his task. Hopefully Robin wasn't going to come to her senses. This secret arrangement of using Barney for their own gain was going to be fun. And pleasurable. Lily licked her lips as Marshall slicked down his own cock, lightly smacked Barney's ass, and slid in. "Mmmm...." Barney moaned happily.
"You said it," Marshall agreed. "You said it. Nice and tight."
Author: Lilithisbitter
Pairing: Marshall/Lily/Barney
Rating: NC-17 (For all of the good things that make smut smutatcular)
Timeline: During The Front Porch... Because someone had to go there.
Word Count: 867
Summary: When you share a bed with Barney, you suffer or enjoy the consequences... Taken from a prompt from comment_fic for dreamsofspike whose mind is as a dark a place as mine. Enjoy.
X-posted at mature_himym
Someone's tongue was tracing the folds of her cunt, briefly fucking her with the tip before darting up to roll the hood over her erect clitoris back and forth. Lily giggled. Marshall was obviously being a dirty boy with Barney curled up in the bed beside them. There was an air of guilt too, Barney in the nightshirt looked nineteen and that was pushing it really. "Oooh... Marshall."
Marshall groggily raised his head and turned to her. "Oh hi... Lilypad. This is the best handjob you have ever given me."
"Handjob, but I'm not..."
She could still feel that tongue on her, lips too, expertly licking her pussy with the air of a gourmet or a porn star. "But, wait... if you're there then... who's eating me... and who..."
They both looked down. Sometime in the night, Barney had peeled off her pj bottoms and was now lapping away against her cunt. His hand was beneath Marshall's nightshirt, pumping away. Barney was nude, fully erect, and grinding his cock into the bedsheets, moaning within her pussy. He was also...
"He's asleep," Marshall said. "I think Barney's a sexsomniac." He broke out into a grin at Lily's whimpers or maybe it was because Barney's palm had brushed against his taint in the way he liked. "That's so cool."
"I think Robin's sleep rib eating was cooler," Lily argued as well as any woman who just discovered the wonders of rimming could. Barney's tongue had slipped briefly against the pucker of her anus before he slid himself back up to tongue-fucking her crotch. "But I can see the benefits. I wish he was awake... oh god... oh god... his tongue is so good. Wake him up, Marshmallow. Let's fuck him long and hard. If Robin doesn't want him, he's good for the taking. Finders... fuckers."
Marshall nudged Barney awake. The instant Barney realized where he was, he shot out from between Lily's legs with an "Oh no, not again." He withdrew his hand from Marshall's nightshirt. "Please don't slap me. I'll just go sleep on the couch. I'll just grab my nightshirt and... oh, god, I've got an erection... I'm so sorry. I know you guys are married and..."
Lily started rubbing Barney's bare shoulders. Marshall started rubbing Barney's hair. "Chillax, Barns," Marshall said, "It's perfectly natural to do that. My Lily's pussy is the best tasting pussy there is. It's like the Cinnabon of pussy."
Barney licked his lips as if remembering. His lips were still swollen and coated with her juices. Lily nodded, "Except my pussy... totally better than Cinnabon... Marshall used to be addicted to Cinnabon and then he ate my pussy and now... he's not addicted." Marshall frowned. "Well, maybe just a little."
"I was asleep," Barney said, as if trying to explain it, but it also could because he was trying to get some more tasting sample. "Besides... you married her... so it's kind of your pussy now."
Marshall suddenly smiled and pulled Barney into a long deep kiss, sliding his tongue within the other man's mouth at the same time pinching a perfect pink nipple into erectness and fondling his testicles. Lily's mouth dropped open and her fingers eagerly pinched both of her nipples through her shirt. "Mmmm... baby... that's better than any of my porn movies." She pulled off her nightshirt for better access and resumed the task. "You dirty men. Mama likes. Mama wants more. Eat me out, Barney."
Marshall broke the kiss and pushed Barney's mouth down on her crotch. "You heard the woman. You've got permission, Barnaby," he said, using Barney's full first name. "Make her come and I'll make you come. Our own secret arrangement. You, me, and Lily makes three. You can have her cunt and I'll take your perfect little asshole. I know men have been there before, but it's still so nice and tight. You must have been bred for fucking."
"Sometimes..." Barney said from Lily's folds. "Or sometimes I let a girl take me with a strap on. Or sometimes I fuck myself with a vibrator. You'd like it. It'd hug your dick nice and tight. I love me so much."
"Ooooh... I like that..." Lily squealed, before leaning in close. "You can be our bitch now. Our little blond bitch who never seems to age. You got a picture in the attic, Barney?"
"Maybe..." Barney didn't look scared as Marshall stripped off his nightshirt and coated his fingers with lube. "I get to get fucked by that?" he said with wonder in his blue blue eyes. "Don't take too long, damn it. I want to feel it inside."
Marshall slid his fingers into the tight pucker of Barney's anus. "I will if you keep talking and don't give her pleasure."
Barney nodded and dove back into his task. Hopefully Robin wasn't going to come to her senses. This secret arrangement of using Barney for their own gain was going to be fun. And pleasurable. Lily licked her lips as Marshall slicked down his own cock, lightly smacked Barney's ass, and slid in. "Mmmm...." Barney moaned happily.
"You said it," Marshall agreed. "You said it. Nice and tight."