barney and robin babysit maurissa
This starts off as fic, but then we resumed MSN-style.
B-man is idioticonion
I'm Robin
Lily and Marshall have a night out, and Barney and Robin babysit. Who will be the responsible one? Find out herein...
He's bouncing Mo on his knee when Lily hurries into the living room, fastening one earring, her dress hanging off one shoulder. She glances over at her happily gurgling baby and then ignores them, rushing into the kitchen. "Marshall!" She yells, obviously searching for something. "Marshall!" She belts out, even more shrilly.
With a sigh, Barney lifts Mo down into her playpen on the floor and walks over to the kitchen to more closely oggle the tantalising glimpse of bra where her dress should be fastened. But before he can do much more than leer, Marshall appears out of nowhere and pulls the zipper up at the back of Lily's dress with a flourish, handing Lily her sparkly black clutch purse with his other hand.
"Smooth," Barney says appreciately, nodding as Marshall hands him a beer from the fridge.
"You've got our number?" Lily says with a slight nervous tick in her cheek. "And I'll call you at ten to make sure everything's okay?"
"Relax!" Barney snorts. "C'mon, what do you think's gonna happen?"
Lily and Marshall both make a face. "It's you and Robin," Lily says. "Just don't have sex in front of Maurissa! And don't set anything on fire."
Barney shakes his head. "Robin and me - just Bros, remember? Besides, this is good practice for her."
Marshall blanches. "You mean Robin's pregnant?"
Lily squeals and the noise makes Mo fret.
"No, dumb ass!" Barney says with a laugh, absently walking back to the playpen and lifting baby Mo into his arms. "I mean that now she's staying in NYC she's got to take her fair share with the babysitting. And this way, I get to break her in."
Marshall and Lily share a look that speaks volumes.
"What?" Barney asks. But they remain infuriatingly closed-mouthed, grabbing their coats and fussing over Mo as they head for the door. "It'll be fine," he continues. "C'mon, you know Mo's safe with me. I won't let Robin do anything weird to her."
Marshall flashes Barney a grin as the couple leave. "If her first words are 'suit up', we'll know who to blame. Later, dude!"
Barney grumbles as he closes the door and bounces the baby a couple more times, wondering where Robin's got to. He's not going to let tonight get weird. But he's kind of curious about what made her decide to come back to New York. Now if only he didn't have to deal with the classic Scherbatskian closed book!
Five minutes later, the doorbell rings and he lays Mo down in her bouncy chair while he goes to open it. He wonders if it's the pizza he ordered earlier, or Robin. He'll take the pizza, but he hopes it's her.
-
The door opens on both Robin and the pizza. She's holding it proudly, doing her best to just be cool, chill Robin Scherbatsky. At his surprised look, she grins. "I ran into Benny on my way up. Don't worry, don't worry, I tipped him..." She sweeps by Barney and enters the apartment, setting the pizza down on the coffee table.
"Hiya, Miss Maurissa!" The baby makes a disconcerting bubbling sound and Robin attempts not to jump. "What's it-- she doing?"
-
He snorts, following her over to the kitchen. "She can probably smell the pizza. If we don't watch out, she'll crawl out of that seat and attack us for it!"
Laughing, he gives her a brief hug and a kiss on the cheek.
-
His cologne gently nudges her senses, but she remains calm as she lets him go. "I'm afraid enough of the things regular children can do. Don't freak me out too much."
She goes to the kitchen and opens the cupboard where she recalls Lily keeps the plates. "So-- we allowed to have a beer while we're babysitting? Or did Lily and Marshall leave a list of super strict rules for us?"
-
He taps his chin with one finger thoughtfully. "Hmm, their specific instructions were not to have sex in front of Mo, and not to set anything on fire. So I think we're safe with a beer!"
Grinning eagerly, he takes the bottle she hands to him, twists the cap and takes a swig. "Ah, just what I needed to get in the babysitting zone!"
-
She laughs. "I wonder what the Supernanny would say to that." She grabs a beer for herself and brings the plates into the living room. When they've both got a slice, she smiles down at the baby. "Think she's into laser tag yet?"
-
He looks up. "Supernanny?" He grins, deliberately misunderstanding her. "Hmmm, a stern woman who's way into discipline wielding a gun? HOT!"
Robin chuckles, which relaxes him. Weird... he didn't even know he was tense. But it's true that they haven't exactly talked one-on-one since she made her decision to stay in the states. And it's not like he's twisted up inside, pining for Robin or anything like he's sure Lily thinks he is. No, they've moved way beyond that. It's just... there /is/ a history between them. He just thinks they're both awesome enough to put that behind them so they can get on with being Bros.
-
"Dude! Have you never watched the Supernanny?" Robin takes a big bite of sausage and mushroom. "I mean, it'll scare you off having kids for life. But she's amazing. She takes people and just whips them into shape. No guns even necessary. Although... might be kinda cool to see her with a gun." She chew thoughtfully and shrugs. When she glances over, Barney's just eating his pizza, and she doesn't have a clue what he's thinking.
She would have thought she'd have a little more insight by now, but nope.
"Anyway," she continues, "If Mo's not into laser tag yet, she's like five months behind schedule."
-
He can't help but smirk, carrying his pizza over to the couch nearest Mo's playpen. "You totally called her Mo! It's a /thing/! I knew it would be!" Lily and Marshall still dislike the nickname, which only makes him use it more stubbornly of course. He's pleased that Robin's adopted it. Now all he needs to do is work on Ted.
-
Mouth full of pizza, she replies, "Wha? Tha's not a thing?" She swallows. "Lily's gonna kill me."
She settles back. "So... what's new in your life?"
-
He shrugs, moving on to the floor so he can play with baby Mo in between bites of pizza. "Are you kidding? She's so pathetically grateful to have you back home, you could practically get away with anything right now." He can't help but grin a devilish grin, thinking of all the mischief they could get up to with that get-out-of-jail-free card.
"And yeah, actually. There's kind of a lot going on in my life right now." He doesn't know why he says that. Sure, he's had to deal with a bunch of family issues while she's been away - and truthfully, maybe he /hasn't/ been dealing with them so well, but she doesn't need to know that.
Damn, why can he never just leave stuff alone? But he misses being able to confide in her. If they really are Bros again, he should be able to.
-
Her mind immediately pops to Sophie. She doesn't know why. Okay, she does know why. So maybe he's not seeing her anymore, but he's definitely been... "seeing" women. Hasn't he?
She leans forward. "What's up? Everything okay?"
-
He frowns and reaches out to Mo, who's batting at the twirling toys on her bouncy chair. "Well, James found his real Dad." It sounds so bald when he says it like that. It covers so many hours of agonized soul searching, and debate between them about if it was worth looking the guy up after so many years. "His name is Sam. Sam Gibbs. He's actually an okay guy. But things have been pretty frosty between James and Mom lately - you know they never really got on. It's just, he knows now that she didn't want Sam in his life. It must be hard for him."
And he tries to be generous, he really does. He tries so hard to make things right between James and their Mom. But not only has James found his Dad, but his Dad actually loves him, wants to be in his life, and he's super cool. And it hurts Barney's heart every time he thinks of that. Because James has everything he ever wanted while Barney has to lock that knowledge in a box and throw away the key.
Because what he's not told Robin is that he knows who his real father is too. But he's still not got the guts to go look for him. He knows that the odds against two fairy-tale endings are pretty steep.
-
She reaches out and touches his shoulder gently. "Must be hard for you, too?"
-
There was a time when he'd have flinched away from her touch, made puppy dog eyes at her or laid out some guilt trip, but not today. Instead he just sighs ruefully and nods. "A little, maybe. I mean, I'm totally psyched for James. Dude deserves it, y'know. I always had Mom. He deserves somebody."
He goes quite and Mo burbles happily, unaware of the weighty conversation.
"But yeah, it's hard not to feel it. To feel jealous, I guess. I tried to talk to Ted, but he's got his own Daddy issues, with Clint marrying his Mom." He laughs. "You should have been there at that wedding, Scherbatsky! It was amazing. The dude painted a naked picture of him and Virginia. Hysterical!"
He turns to face her. "Y'know, I've kinda missed having you around this year."
-
"Jeez, apparently I've missed a lot!" It kind of sucks that she has no idea what he's talking about with the naked picture... but then, she's even been out of touch with her roommate. "We would've had a good time at that wedding, I bet..."
They both look at the baby for a minute before she continues. "I know you have your mom, but still... I think it'd be hard knowing James found his dad. I don't mean to put words in your mouth or anything. But do you ever think about finding yours too?"
-
He opens his mouth to say something flippant but is extremely surprised to find that no sound actually makes it past his lips. He tries again. Same result. That's kind of puzzling.
Robin's staring at him, so he closes his mouth and shakes his head. "I-" he manages a squeak.
"I did. Kinda." He finally manages. "I mean, my Mom told me who he is, when James found Sam. I even remember him. She used to say he was my uncle. Uncle Jerry." He says the name with a little more assurance, although he feels hot and cold talking to her like this.
-
"Whoa." She sets down her pizza. "All this time you thought he was your uncle... do the guys know?"
-
He shakes his head, one quick motion. He's said as much as he can right now. He's surprised he got that much out. It's hard to talk about this stuff, to anybody. Just talking to them about James's dad was weird, he can't imagine how they'd all react about Jerry.
Jerry. Jesus.
It's so big. Too big that he can't even begin to process what it means.
-
The silence hangs in the air for a second. The jerk of his head makes it clear that he's said all he really wants to say. "Well," Robin finally says. "I'm a little torn, actually." When he looks at her, questioning, she gives him a half-smile. "In the past I would've just... distracted you right about now. In some... way or another."
-
He laughs at that. "Yeah, you kinda did, didn't you?" He grins at her fondly. "Did we spend all our time having awesome sex?"
-
She decides to skip over the possible embarrassment of the subject. "Maurissa, cover your ears," she says, and contemplates. "Well what else did we do with our time? Watch TV?"
-
He covers baby Mo's ears and whispers, comically loudly. "Yes, Scherbatsky, we did watch /some/ porn." He winks at her.
-
"Jeez, don't say 'porn' around the baby!" But she laughs. "I think we may have spent some of that time fighting as well. I, uh, can't quite recall... did we ever fight?" She grins.
-
He chuckles as Mo tries to grab his fingers, dribbling. "You know, we /might/ have fought. But it was, like, so rare that I can't even remember..."
He takes a bite of his pizza and mumbles, "Not like our friends didn't try an intervention of anything."
-
"Yeah, well... I guess things did get kind of crazy for awhile there." They look at each other for a moment. "So... what do you think Marshall and Lily spend their time doing now that they've got the baby and are home all the time? Besides, you know... taking care of the baby."
-
He nods. Things /were/ crazy. And as much as he sometimes misses that, he's enjoyed his six months on an even keel.
Aside from the James-finding-his-Dad thing.
"Huh," he scoffs. "You think they have time to do anything else other than changing poop-y diapers?" As if on cue, Mo starts to cry, going from happy-gurgly-baby to scream-queen in two seconds flat. "And there she blows!"
-
Robin touches her nose. "Not it! That's all on you, baby." Truth be told, she didn't come here with a great intention of babysitting. More like... trying to show her general support for Marshall and Lily's big decision to procreate.
-
He gives her a look. "You realize you have to go next? And next time might be worse. You should just get it over with right now." It's kind of funny how she's sitting there, clearly irritated, when she's supposed to be bonding with Mo.
Isn't she?
He cocks his head. "Okay, have it your way!" He goes to the kitchen and struggles into what looks like a plastic raincoat.
"What? You think I'm ruining a good suit for this?"
-
Laughing, she exclaims, "Oh my god, you actually brought a raincoat? /Seriously/? Ha!"
-
Barney says:
Laugh it up, fuzzball. You'll be begging me for one of these when you try to change her!
Robin says:
Well, you're probably right about that.
*keeps her distance as he proceeds*
So... how'd you get good with kids, anyway? Just from Sam, or...?
Barney says:
*laughs*
You think I'm /good/ with kids? Seriously?
*wrinkles his nose as he cleans Mo, who just drools a little*
Robin says:
I think you underestimate how hard it is for some people to be natural with them.
Barney says:
*he gives her a look*
I think that it's hard for most people. Question is, do you even wanna try?
Robin says:
I'm here, aren't I? I love Mo. But I can love her far away from her diapers.
Barney says:
*shrugs* Whatever. The least you can do is go get me a drink. Something stronger than beer.
*he reaches for a new diaper and expertly fastens it around Mo's wriggling body*
Robin says:
You're the boss. *goes to the kitchen and roots around Lily and Marshall's stash, eventually finding some rum. She pours it together with some Diet Coke and brings it to him*
Best I can do. Drink slowly. Try not to get hammered around the kid.
*she smiles at him, a full, open smile, that feels a little more natural now*
Barney says:
Thanks! *he grins* Hey, did you notice that me and you are stuck here with the baby while Marshall and Lily are out partying? How exactly did that happen?
*he hoists Mo back up and into her stroller and her eyes droop shut*
Robin says:
*she drops back onto the couch with her own drink and pats the seat beside her, a friendly invitation*
I guess things /have/ changed a bit, then. I guess by now you've heard I'm definitely back for good?
Barney says:
*he sits down next to her*
Yeah, I heard. *grins* Knew you'd see sense. So was it the tractor beam of my awesome that drew you back?
Robin says:
*sips her drink*
I don't know... probably.
Or maybe I just see some of the sexist crap you post on Facebook and feel like someone needs to start reigning you in.
Barney says:
*smirks* C'mon, my adoring public expect it. And anyways, it's kinda fun seeing what I can get away since you haven't been around to slap me down. *he sips the rum, grimacing a little*
Robin says:
Oh, is /that/ what all your irritating statuses are all about? *laughs* Flattered.
Barney says:
*raises an eyebrow* Well, if they're so irritating then why do you keep reading 'em?
Robin says:
Simple. Sometimes you post stuff about me.
Barney says:
*He almost chokes on his rum* I bet you google yourself every day too? Damn reporters. So narcissistic.
Robin says:
/You're/ going to talk to /me/ about narcissism? Seriously? Dude. Seriously.
*finishes off her drink*
Barney says:
*grins* Well, you never talk about me on Facebook, so I don't need to worry. *holds out his glass* And yeah, I'll have another thanks!
Robin says:
Pssh. All right, one more. *goes to refill it* But after that, you're cut off. I can drink more, but you have to be the responsible one.
Barney says:
*Stretches out his legs in front of him and grins* You're beautiful when you're bossy, you know that?
Robin says:
*He's looking awfully... well, gorgeous, stressed out on the couch like that. She tosses back some straight rum, chokes a little, and pours them both another small one. She feels like she needs to relax, because every time he teases her, she wants to... fall back in the habit.*
Yeah, yeah. Here's your drink.
Barney says:
*he can feel the warmth of her hip digging into his as she sits down next to him and clinks her glass of rum against his* Thanks. So tell me Scherbatsky, is it irresponsible to give some of this stuff to Mo if she starts getting fractious?
Robin:
Marshall would only pummel you into a few pieces.
Barney says:
*Points and her and laughs* See, /you're/ the responsible one. Keeping me and mo on track.
Robin says:
*as she tosses her rum and Coke back again, she's starting to feel a little lightheaded, more from the nearness than the alcohol, but either way, is it getting warm in here?*
So. Slept with anyone lately?
*kind of wants to slap her hand over her mouth*
Barney says:
*he almost chokes on his rum, then he laughs* Why? Are you going through a dry spell again and you wanna get yourself off vicariously to the stories of my conquests? *he grins as Mo makes a gurgling sound* You see? I need a new audience. The kid's already bored with me!
Robin says:
*blushing* It's not a dry spell. It's a... break.
Barney says:
Oh /right/. /Sure/. Did some Argentinian guy do the dirty on you? *It would explain her sudden decision to come back to NYC*
Robin says:
Nah, they didn't interest me enough to let them get to me. I think I like New York City guys better anyway. Language barriers can be hot, but I'm not sure it's worth the commute. *winks at him*
Barney says:
*grins* Yeah, sure. New York City guys are awesome. *sweeps a hand across his body* Exhibit A. But you need to get back on the horse, baby. You know you get tetchy when you haven't got your rocks off for a while.
Robin says:
Well, I need a volunteer! *she laughs and then, to cover her awkwardness, tosses back another drink. She laughs again*
Barney says:
*grins and slowly raises his hand. They lock gazes for a second, then he pulls it back down again with a dirty laugh* C'mon, I had to try!
Robin says:
*she sets her drink down, leans over, and kisses him, right on the mouth. It's too fast and short to really even feel anything before she pulls back*
I--
Sorry.
Impulse.
Old habits...?
Barney says:
*he gapes, just frozen in place for a second, staring at her dumbly. All he can think is that she tastes sweet, of rum and cola and so many memories*
Robin says:
*he doesn't react for a minute and she feels the weight of the complete stupidity of the move so greatly, she reaches down and picks up the baby.*
Hi, Mo! Maurissa, I mean! Is your aunt Robin acting crazy? Yes, yes she is.
Barney says:
*can't help but laugh, although his tongue darts over his lips and his heart's kind of pounding* Wow, babies really do blow your mind, huh?
Robin says:
*pats Maurissa's back*
Anyway...
Not... my fault. You put a guy in front of me right now and it's just not... fair.
Barney says:
*smiles a little nervously* Hey, totally understood. I'm not just "a guy". Any chick would have to be pushing up daisies not to get all wound up over this amount of sheer awesome. *He watches as Maurissa wriggles in Robin's grip, giggling*
Robin says:
*she sits down, Maurissa on her lap-- a kind of buffer between them*
Yeah, yeah, everybody loves you. But hey, if it were only based on awesomeness, I'd have guys /crawling/ on me right now.
Barney says:
To be honest, I'm kinda glad you haven't. *coughs* I mean... I think Mo would have something to say about that! *grins weakly*
Barney says:
*confused* Curious about what?
Robin says:
About my dry spell.
Barney says:
*opens his mouth to say something flippant but closes it again* Well yeah. Okay. I kinda am. But sex is just sex. Even when it's awesome sex. And after a while you-. *he gives her a surprisingly world-weary smile* So why the dry spell?
Robin says:
After awhile you-- what?
Get tired of it?
I'm not tired of it. I /miss/ it.
Barney says:
I'm not /tired/ of it. Jeez! *laughs*
Who gets tired of sex?
And I miss it too. I mean-
No, of course I don't. I totally have sex. All the time. It's awesome.
Robin says:
*incredulously* Whaaaaat? Come on. You're not having sex?
Barney says:
*sputters* I am totally having sex. Who told you I wasn't having sex? I'm having more sex than you can handle, baby. I'm having so much sex I can barely walk.*trails off*
Robin says:
Oh my god, you're not having sex! Dude please, I did not date you for all that time not to learn to read you.
Barney says:
*mumbles* So? /You're/ the only one allowed to have a dry spell around here?
Robin says:
Oh my gah... *to Mo* sweetie, I know you can't appreciate this yet, but this is a big deal for your Uncle B.
So why don't you go out and get some?
Barney says:
*a little sulkily*
/You/ go out and get some? You think it's that easy?
*sags a little*
It used to be that easy. Why isn't it easy, damn it?
Robin says:
*she leans forward and sets Mo back down, then leans back into the couch next to him*
Maybe we're... just not that into it anymore. The chase.
Barney says:
*huskily* Oh, I'm into the chase all right.
But maybe we're just a little more picky about who we chase?
Robin says:
*licks her lip nervously*
Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I'm definitely tired of chasing people who don't speak the same language.
Barney says:
*laughs, more at ease* Yeah, there is that. But c'mon, that's not a problem here. Not so much anyways. So shouldn't you be psyched about being home?
Robin says:
I am! I totally am. *finishes off her drink*
I'd just be more psyched if... you know, if... I guess if I knew how things were going to be with us.
Barney says:
*is concerned* Us? We're good. Aren't we? I mean, I thought we were good. Are we good?
Robin says:
Yeah. Yes! Of course we're good.
*looks awkwardly away, at Mo. Maybe she /should/ just let the whole thing go. They'll spend time together on a regular basis now, it won't feel weird anymore.*
Barney says:
*frowns* You know, I /do/ still remember that I used to be your boyfriend. It seems weird, doesn't it? Me? A boyfriend. *he sighs*
Robin says:
*with a wry smile* Well, sometimes it seems like you don't remember.
Barney says:
*gives her a look* I remember everything.
Robin says:
Then why don't you act like it?
Barney says:
*raises his hands* Hey, how 'm I meant to act? I don't wanna make this awkward for you. I thought this was what you wanted.
Robin says:
*frustrated* Well what do /you/ want?
Barney says:
*leans forward suddenly and, before he can think himself out of it, just kisses her*
Robin says:
*it's easy to kiss him back-- it's the easiest thing she ever does. Not doing it is what's difficult.*
Barney says:
*It's been a while, okay? - he tells himself, as he cradles her face in his hands and she parts her lips and he tastes her - so damn familiar. So damn /Robin/*
Robin says:
*She wants to cry at the way he touches her-- just like before. Like he still maybe loves her*
*she murmurs wordlessly against his mouth. She touches his lapel and breathes him in*
Barney says:
*pulls away, just a tiny bit, so their lips are still touching but he can see her, see the look in her eyes. But they're closed and she pulls him in again*
Robin says:
*She smiles against his mouth, unable to help it. Between kisses, she speaks*
Is there ever going to be a time when we just stop doing this?
Barney says:
*groans* Probably not. This is bad, right? *but Jesus it feels good. She feels good. He laces the fingers of one hand through hers*
Robin says:
*it's so cheesy... but something in her heart actually aches when he does that... holds her hand like this. It's not bad... not bad at all*
Is it? Bad?
*it seems so simple, sitting here together with Mo just staring at them disinterestedly*
Barney says:
*he grins against her mouth*
I guess not. Hey Scherbatsky?
*she makes a questioning moaning noise*
You wanna try going steady?
Robin says:
*laughs nervously* I don’t know… didn’t we screw that one up before?
Barney says:
Yup *he nods* You moved to Argentina and I turned into a dick. Think we can avoid that trap next time?
Robin says:
*she’s smiling, but warily* What is this? You and me?
Barney says:
*pulls away from her, although he still holds her hand loosely*
I have no idea. It's probably a horrible mistake but maybe there's something still here. If I could turn back time... *grimaces* I'd do a lot of stuff differently. And I think that maybe this year I spent a lot of time making up for ten years spent being a dick. But maybe you and me, maybe we don't know everything about each other any more and maybe that's a good thing.
Robin says:
You know... that's kind of true.
*smiles for a moment* God, Barney... listen to you. You're like this whole other guy. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like it.
*touches the edge of his hairline, curls her fingers over his ear*
I really like it.
Barney says:
*grins goofily* Really? And how do you know this isn't all some play just to get you into bed?
Robin says:
If it is… I guess I fell for it. Hook, line, sinker, baby. *kisses him again*
Barney says:
*moves his fingers over the underside of her jaw, knuckles brushing over her throat and down across the curve of her breast. All he wants to do right now is push her back down on the couch*
Robin says:
*she reaches gently for his hand and holds it still*
*with a smile* The kid's watching.
Barney says:
*into her mouth* Damn. I guess that does make you the responsible one after all.
Robin says:
*laughs* And the world is as it should be.
~
B-man is idioticonion
I'm Robin
Lily and Marshall have a night out, and Barney and Robin babysit. Who will be the responsible one? Find out herein...
He's bouncing Mo on his knee when Lily hurries into the living room, fastening one earring, her dress hanging off one shoulder. She glances over at her happily gurgling baby and then ignores them, rushing into the kitchen. "Marshall!" She yells, obviously searching for something. "Marshall!" She belts out, even more shrilly.
With a sigh, Barney lifts Mo down into her playpen on the floor and walks over to the kitchen to more closely oggle the tantalising glimpse of bra where her dress should be fastened. But before he can do much more than leer, Marshall appears out of nowhere and pulls the zipper up at the back of Lily's dress with a flourish, handing Lily her sparkly black clutch purse with his other hand.
"Smooth," Barney says appreciately, nodding as Marshall hands him a beer from the fridge.
"You've got our number?" Lily says with a slight nervous tick in her cheek. "And I'll call you at ten to make sure everything's okay?"
"Relax!" Barney snorts. "C'mon, what do you think's gonna happen?"
Lily and Marshall both make a face. "It's you and Robin," Lily says. "Just don't have sex in front of Maurissa! And don't set anything on fire."
Barney shakes his head. "Robin and me - just Bros, remember? Besides, this is good practice for her."
Marshall blanches. "You mean Robin's pregnant?"
Lily squeals and the noise makes Mo fret.
"No, dumb ass!" Barney says with a laugh, absently walking back to the playpen and lifting baby Mo into his arms. "I mean that now she's staying in NYC she's got to take her fair share with the babysitting. And this way, I get to break her in."
Marshall and Lily share a look that speaks volumes.
"What?" Barney asks. But they remain infuriatingly closed-mouthed, grabbing their coats and fussing over Mo as they head for the door. "It'll be fine," he continues. "C'mon, you know Mo's safe with me. I won't let Robin do anything weird to her."
Marshall flashes Barney a grin as the couple leave. "If her first words are 'suit up', we'll know who to blame. Later, dude!"
Barney grumbles as he closes the door and bounces the baby a couple more times, wondering where Robin's got to. He's not going to let tonight get weird. But he's kind of curious about what made her decide to come back to New York. Now if only he didn't have to deal with the classic Scherbatskian closed book!
Five minutes later, the doorbell rings and he lays Mo down in her bouncy chair while he goes to open it. He wonders if it's the pizza he ordered earlier, or Robin. He'll take the pizza, but he hopes it's her.
-
The door opens on both Robin and the pizza. She's holding it proudly, doing her best to just be cool, chill Robin Scherbatsky. At his surprised look, she grins. "I ran into Benny on my way up. Don't worry, don't worry, I tipped him..." She sweeps by Barney and enters the apartment, setting the pizza down on the coffee table.
"Hiya, Miss Maurissa!" The baby makes a disconcerting bubbling sound and Robin attempts not to jump. "What's it-- she doing?"
-
He snorts, following her over to the kitchen. "She can probably smell the pizza. If we don't watch out, she'll crawl out of that seat and attack us for it!"
Laughing, he gives her a brief hug and a kiss on the cheek.
-
His cologne gently nudges her senses, but she remains calm as she lets him go. "I'm afraid enough of the things regular children can do. Don't freak me out too much."
She goes to the kitchen and opens the cupboard where she recalls Lily keeps the plates. "So-- we allowed to have a beer while we're babysitting? Or did Lily and Marshall leave a list of super strict rules for us?"
-
He taps his chin with one finger thoughtfully. "Hmm, their specific instructions were not to have sex in front of Mo, and not to set anything on fire. So I think we're safe with a beer!"
Grinning eagerly, he takes the bottle she hands to him, twists the cap and takes a swig. "Ah, just what I needed to get in the babysitting zone!"
-
She laughs. "I wonder what the Supernanny would say to that." She grabs a beer for herself and brings the plates into the living room. When they've both got a slice, she smiles down at the baby. "Think she's into laser tag yet?"
-
He looks up. "Supernanny?" He grins, deliberately misunderstanding her. "Hmmm, a stern woman who's way into discipline wielding a gun? HOT!"
Robin chuckles, which relaxes him. Weird... he didn't even know he was tense. But it's true that they haven't exactly talked one-on-one since she made her decision to stay in the states. And it's not like he's twisted up inside, pining for Robin or anything like he's sure Lily thinks he is. No, they've moved way beyond that. It's just... there /is/ a history between them. He just thinks they're both awesome enough to put that behind them so they can get on with being Bros.
-
"Dude! Have you never watched the Supernanny?" Robin takes a big bite of sausage and mushroom. "I mean, it'll scare you off having kids for life. But she's amazing. She takes people and just whips them into shape. No guns even necessary. Although... might be kinda cool to see her with a gun." She chew thoughtfully and shrugs. When she glances over, Barney's just eating his pizza, and she doesn't have a clue what he's thinking.
She would have thought she'd have a little more insight by now, but nope.
"Anyway," she continues, "If Mo's not into laser tag yet, she's like five months behind schedule."
-
He can't help but smirk, carrying his pizza over to the couch nearest Mo's playpen. "You totally called her Mo! It's a /thing/! I knew it would be!" Lily and Marshall still dislike the nickname, which only makes him use it more stubbornly of course. He's pleased that Robin's adopted it. Now all he needs to do is work on Ted.
-
Mouth full of pizza, she replies, "Wha? Tha's not a thing?" She swallows. "Lily's gonna kill me."
She settles back. "So... what's new in your life?"
-
He shrugs, moving on to the floor so he can play with baby Mo in between bites of pizza. "Are you kidding? She's so pathetically grateful to have you back home, you could practically get away with anything right now." He can't help but grin a devilish grin, thinking of all the mischief they could get up to with that get-out-of-jail-free card.
"And yeah, actually. There's kind of a lot going on in my life right now." He doesn't know why he says that. Sure, he's had to deal with a bunch of family issues while she's been away - and truthfully, maybe he /hasn't/ been dealing with them so well, but she doesn't need to know that.
Damn, why can he never just leave stuff alone? But he misses being able to confide in her. If they really are Bros again, he should be able to.
-
Her mind immediately pops to Sophie. She doesn't know why. Okay, she does know why. So maybe he's not seeing her anymore, but he's definitely been... "seeing" women. Hasn't he?
She leans forward. "What's up? Everything okay?"
-
He frowns and reaches out to Mo, who's batting at the twirling toys on her bouncy chair. "Well, James found his real Dad." It sounds so bald when he says it like that. It covers so many hours of agonized soul searching, and debate between them about if it was worth looking the guy up after so many years. "His name is Sam. Sam Gibbs. He's actually an okay guy. But things have been pretty frosty between James and Mom lately - you know they never really got on. It's just, he knows now that she didn't want Sam in his life. It must be hard for him."
And he tries to be generous, he really does. He tries so hard to make things right between James and their Mom. But not only has James found his Dad, but his Dad actually loves him, wants to be in his life, and he's super cool. And it hurts Barney's heart every time he thinks of that. Because James has everything he ever wanted while Barney has to lock that knowledge in a box and throw away the key.
Because what he's not told Robin is that he knows who his real father is too. But he's still not got the guts to go look for him. He knows that the odds against two fairy-tale endings are pretty steep.
-
She reaches out and touches his shoulder gently. "Must be hard for you, too?"
-
There was a time when he'd have flinched away from her touch, made puppy dog eyes at her or laid out some guilt trip, but not today. Instead he just sighs ruefully and nods. "A little, maybe. I mean, I'm totally psyched for James. Dude deserves it, y'know. I always had Mom. He deserves somebody."
He goes quite and Mo burbles happily, unaware of the weighty conversation.
"But yeah, it's hard not to feel it. To feel jealous, I guess. I tried to talk to Ted, but he's got his own Daddy issues, with Clint marrying his Mom." He laughs. "You should have been there at that wedding, Scherbatsky! It was amazing. The dude painted a naked picture of him and Virginia. Hysterical!"
He turns to face her. "Y'know, I've kinda missed having you around this year."
-
"Jeez, apparently I've missed a lot!" It kind of sucks that she has no idea what he's talking about with the naked picture... but then, she's even been out of touch with her roommate. "We would've had a good time at that wedding, I bet..."
They both look at the baby for a minute before she continues. "I know you have your mom, but still... I think it'd be hard knowing James found his dad. I don't mean to put words in your mouth or anything. But do you ever think about finding yours too?"
-
He opens his mouth to say something flippant but is extremely surprised to find that no sound actually makes it past his lips. He tries again. Same result. That's kind of puzzling.
Robin's staring at him, so he closes his mouth and shakes his head. "I-" he manages a squeak.
"I did. Kinda." He finally manages. "I mean, my Mom told me who he is, when James found Sam. I even remember him. She used to say he was my uncle. Uncle Jerry." He says the name with a little more assurance, although he feels hot and cold talking to her like this.
-
"Whoa." She sets down her pizza. "All this time you thought he was your uncle... do the guys know?"
-
He shakes his head, one quick motion. He's said as much as he can right now. He's surprised he got that much out. It's hard to talk about this stuff, to anybody. Just talking to them about James's dad was weird, he can't imagine how they'd all react about Jerry.
Jerry. Jesus.
It's so big. Too big that he can't even begin to process what it means.
-
The silence hangs in the air for a second. The jerk of his head makes it clear that he's said all he really wants to say. "Well," Robin finally says. "I'm a little torn, actually." When he looks at her, questioning, she gives him a half-smile. "In the past I would've just... distracted you right about now. In some... way or another."
-
He laughs at that. "Yeah, you kinda did, didn't you?" He grins at her fondly. "Did we spend all our time having awesome sex?"
-
She decides to skip over the possible embarrassment of the subject. "Maurissa, cover your ears," she says, and contemplates. "Well what else did we do with our time? Watch TV?"
-
He covers baby Mo's ears and whispers, comically loudly. "Yes, Scherbatsky, we did watch /some/ porn." He winks at her.
-
"Jeez, don't say 'porn' around the baby!" But she laughs. "I think we may have spent some of that time fighting as well. I, uh, can't quite recall... did we ever fight?" She grins.
-
He chuckles as Mo tries to grab his fingers, dribbling. "You know, we /might/ have fought. But it was, like, so rare that I can't even remember..."
He takes a bite of his pizza and mumbles, "Not like our friends didn't try an intervention of anything."
-
"Yeah, well... I guess things did get kind of crazy for awhile there." They look at each other for a moment. "So... what do you think Marshall and Lily spend their time doing now that they've got the baby and are home all the time? Besides, you know... taking care of the baby."
-
He nods. Things /were/ crazy. And as much as he sometimes misses that, he's enjoyed his six months on an even keel.
Aside from the James-finding-his-Dad thing.
"Huh," he scoffs. "You think they have time to do anything else other than changing poop-y diapers?" As if on cue, Mo starts to cry, going from happy-gurgly-baby to scream-queen in two seconds flat. "And there she blows!"
-
Robin touches her nose. "Not it! That's all on you, baby." Truth be told, she didn't come here with a great intention of babysitting. More like... trying to show her general support for Marshall and Lily's big decision to procreate.
-
He gives her a look. "You realize you have to go next? And next time might be worse. You should just get it over with right now." It's kind of funny how she's sitting there, clearly irritated, when she's supposed to be bonding with Mo.
Isn't she?
He cocks his head. "Okay, have it your way!" He goes to the kitchen and struggles into what looks like a plastic raincoat.
"What? You think I'm ruining a good suit for this?"
-
Laughing, she exclaims, "Oh my god, you actually brought a raincoat? /Seriously/? Ha!"
-
Barney says:
Laugh it up, fuzzball. You'll be begging me for one of these when you try to change her!
Robin says:
Well, you're probably right about that.
*keeps her distance as he proceeds*
So... how'd you get good with kids, anyway? Just from Sam, or...?
Barney says:
*laughs*
You think I'm /good/ with kids? Seriously?
*wrinkles his nose as he cleans Mo, who just drools a little*
Robin says:
I think you underestimate how hard it is for some people to be natural with them.
Barney says:
*he gives her a look*
I think that it's hard for most people. Question is, do you even wanna try?
Robin says:
I'm here, aren't I? I love Mo. But I can love her far away from her diapers.
Barney says:
*shrugs* Whatever. The least you can do is go get me a drink. Something stronger than beer.
*he reaches for a new diaper and expertly fastens it around Mo's wriggling body*
Robin says:
You're the boss. *goes to the kitchen and roots around Lily and Marshall's stash, eventually finding some rum. She pours it together with some Diet Coke and brings it to him*
Best I can do. Drink slowly. Try not to get hammered around the kid.
*she smiles at him, a full, open smile, that feels a little more natural now*
Barney says:
Thanks! *he grins* Hey, did you notice that me and you are stuck here with the baby while Marshall and Lily are out partying? How exactly did that happen?
*he hoists Mo back up and into her stroller and her eyes droop shut*
Robin says:
*she drops back onto the couch with her own drink and pats the seat beside her, a friendly invitation*
I guess things /have/ changed a bit, then. I guess by now you've heard I'm definitely back for good?
Barney says:
*he sits down next to her*
Yeah, I heard. *grins* Knew you'd see sense. So was it the tractor beam of my awesome that drew you back?
Robin says:
*sips her drink*
I don't know... probably.
Or maybe I just see some of the sexist crap you post on Facebook and feel like someone needs to start reigning you in.
Barney says:
*smirks* C'mon, my adoring public expect it. And anyways, it's kinda fun seeing what I can get away since you haven't been around to slap me down. *he sips the rum, grimacing a little*
Robin says:
Oh, is /that/ what all your irritating statuses are all about? *laughs* Flattered.
Barney says:
*raises an eyebrow* Well, if they're so irritating then why do you keep reading 'em?
Robin says:
Simple. Sometimes you post stuff about me.
Barney says:
*He almost chokes on his rum* I bet you google yourself every day too? Damn reporters. So narcissistic.
Robin says:
/You're/ going to talk to /me/ about narcissism? Seriously? Dude. Seriously.
*finishes off her drink*
Barney says:
*grins* Well, you never talk about me on Facebook, so I don't need to worry. *holds out his glass* And yeah, I'll have another thanks!
Robin says:
Pssh. All right, one more. *goes to refill it* But after that, you're cut off. I can drink more, but you have to be the responsible one.
Barney says:
*Stretches out his legs in front of him and grins* You're beautiful when you're bossy, you know that?
Robin says:
*He's looking awfully... well, gorgeous, stressed out on the couch like that. She tosses back some straight rum, chokes a little, and pours them both another small one. She feels like she needs to relax, because every time he teases her, she wants to... fall back in the habit.*
Yeah, yeah. Here's your drink.
Barney says:
*he can feel the warmth of her hip digging into his as she sits down next to him and clinks her glass of rum against his* Thanks. So tell me Scherbatsky, is it irresponsible to give some of this stuff to Mo if she starts getting fractious?
Robin:
Marshall would only pummel you into a few pieces.
Barney says:
*Points and her and laughs* See, /you're/ the responsible one. Keeping me and mo on track.
Robin says:
*as she tosses her rum and Coke back again, she's starting to feel a little lightheaded, more from the nearness than the alcohol, but either way, is it getting warm in here?*
So. Slept with anyone lately?
*kind of wants to slap her hand over her mouth*
Barney says:
*he almost chokes on his rum, then he laughs* Why? Are you going through a dry spell again and you wanna get yourself off vicariously to the stories of my conquests? *he grins as Mo makes a gurgling sound* You see? I need a new audience. The kid's already bored with me!
Robin says:
*blushing* It's not a dry spell. It's a... break.
Barney says:
Oh /right/. /Sure/. Did some Argentinian guy do the dirty on you? *It would explain her sudden decision to come back to NYC*
Robin says:
Nah, they didn't interest me enough to let them get to me. I think I like New York City guys better anyway. Language barriers can be hot, but I'm not sure it's worth the commute. *winks at him*
Barney says:
*grins* Yeah, sure. New York City guys are awesome. *sweeps a hand across his body* Exhibit A. But you need to get back on the horse, baby. You know you get tetchy when you haven't got your rocks off for a while.
Robin says:
Well, I need a volunteer! *she laughs and then, to cover her awkwardness, tosses back another drink. She laughs again*
Barney says:
*grins and slowly raises his hand. They lock gazes for a second, then he pulls it back down again with a dirty laugh* C'mon, I had to try!
Robin says:
*she sets her drink down, leans over, and kisses him, right on the mouth. It's too fast and short to really even feel anything before she pulls back*
I--
Sorry.
Impulse.
Old habits...?
Barney says:
*he gapes, just frozen in place for a second, staring at her dumbly. All he can think is that she tastes sweet, of rum and cola and so many memories*
Robin says:
*he doesn't react for a minute and she feels the weight of the complete stupidity of the move so greatly, she reaches down and picks up the baby.*
Hi, Mo! Maurissa, I mean! Is your aunt Robin acting crazy? Yes, yes she is.
Barney says:
*can't help but laugh, although his tongue darts over his lips and his heart's kind of pounding* Wow, babies really do blow your mind, huh?
Robin says:
*pats Maurissa's back*
Anyway...
Not... my fault. You put a guy in front of me right now and it's just not... fair.
Barney says:
*smiles a little nervously* Hey, totally understood. I'm not just "a guy". Any chick would have to be pushing up daisies not to get all wound up over this amount of sheer awesome. *He watches as Maurissa wriggles in Robin's grip, giggling*
Robin says:
*she sits down, Maurissa on her lap-- a kind of buffer between them*
Yeah, yeah, everybody loves you. But hey, if it were only based on awesomeness, I'd have guys /crawling/ on me right now.
Barney says:
To be honest, I'm kinda glad you haven't. *coughs* I mean... I think Mo would have something to say about that! *grins weakly*
Barney says:
*confused* Curious about what?
Robin says:
About my dry spell.
Barney says:
*opens his mouth to say something flippant but closes it again* Well yeah. Okay. I kinda am. But sex is just sex. Even when it's awesome sex. And after a while you-. *he gives her a surprisingly world-weary smile* So why the dry spell?
Robin says:
After awhile you-- what?
Get tired of it?
I'm not tired of it. I /miss/ it.
Barney says:
I'm not /tired/ of it. Jeez! *laughs*
Who gets tired of sex?
And I miss it too. I mean-
No, of course I don't. I totally have sex. All the time. It's awesome.
Robin says:
*incredulously* Whaaaaat? Come on. You're not having sex?
Barney says:
*sputters* I am totally having sex. Who told you I wasn't having sex? I'm having more sex than you can handle, baby. I'm having so much sex I can barely walk.*trails off*
Robin says:
Oh my god, you're not having sex! Dude please, I did not date you for all that time not to learn to read you.
Barney says:
*mumbles* So? /You're/ the only one allowed to have a dry spell around here?
Robin says:
Oh my gah... *to Mo* sweetie, I know you can't appreciate this yet, but this is a big deal for your Uncle B.
So why don't you go out and get some?
Barney says:
*a little sulkily*
/You/ go out and get some? You think it's that easy?
*sags a little*
It used to be that easy. Why isn't it easy, damn it?
Robin says:
*she leans forward and sets Mo back down, then leans back into the couch next to him*
Maybe we're... just not that into it anymore. The chase.
Barney says:
*huskily* Oh, I'm into the chase all right.
But maybe we're just a little more picky about who we chase?
Robin says:
*licks her lip nervously*
Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I'm definitely tired of chasing people who don't speak the same language.
Barney says:
*laughs, more at ease* Yeah, there is that. But c'mon, that's not a problem here. Not so much anyways. So shouldn't you be psyched about being home?
Robin says:
I am! I totally am. *finishes off her drink*
I'd just be more psyched if... you know, if... I guess if I knew how things were going to be with us.
Barney says:
*is concerned* Us? We're good. Aren't we? I mean, I thought we were good. Are we good?
Robin says:
Yeah. Yes! Of course we're good.
*looks awkwardly away, at Mo. Maybe she /should/ just let the whole thing go. They'll spend time together on a regular basis now, it won't feel weird anymore.*
Barney says:
*frowns* You know, I /do/ still remember that I used to be your boyfriend. It seems weird, doesn't it? Me? A boyfriend. *he sighs*
Robin says:
*with a wry smile* Well, sometimes it seems like you don't remember.
Barney says:
*gives her a look* I remember everything.
Robin says:
Then why don't you act like it?
Barney says:
*raises his hands* Hey, how 'm I meant to act? I don't wanna make this awkward for you. I thought this was what you wanted.
Robin says:
*frustrated* Well what do /you/ want?
Barney says:
*leans forward suddenly and, before he can think himself out of it, just kisses her*
Robin says:
*it's easy to kiss him back-- it's the easiest thing she ever does. Not doing it is what's difficult.*
Barney says:
*It's been a while, okay? - he tells himself, as he cradles her face in his hands and she parts her lips and he tastes her - so damn familiar. So damn /Robin/*
Robin says:
*She wants to cry at the way he touches her-- just like before. Like he still maybe loves her*
*she murmurs wordlessly against his mouth. She touches his lapel and breathes him in*
Barney says:
*pulls away, just a tiny bit, so their lips are still touching but he can see her, see the look in her eyes. But they're closed and she pulls him in again*
Robin says:
*She smiles against his mouth, unable to help it. Between kisses, she speaks*
Is there ever going to be a time when we just stop doing this?
Barney says:
*groans* Probably not. This is bad, right? *but Jesus it feels good. She feels good. He laces the fingers of one hand through hers*
Robin says:
*it's so cheesy... but something in her heart actually aches when he does that... holds her hand like this. It's not bad... not bad at all*
Is it? Bad?
*it seems so simple, sitting here together with Mo just staring at them disinterestedly*
Barney says:
*he grins against her mouth*
I guess not. Hey Scherbatsky?
*she makes a questioning moaning noise*
You wanna try going steady?
Robin says:
*laughs nervously* I don’t know… didn’t we screw that one up before?
Barney says:
Yup *he nods* You moved to Argentina and I turned into a dick. Think we can avoid that trap next time?
Robin says:
*she’s smiling, but warily* What is this? You and me?
Barney says:
*pulls away from her, although he still holds her hand loosely*
I have no idea. It's probably a horrible mistake but maybe there's something still here. If I could turn back time... *grimaces* I'd do a lot of stuff differently. And I think that maybe this year I spent a lot of time making up for ten years spent being a dick. But maybe you and me, maybe we don't know everything about each other any more and maybe that's a good thing.
Robin says:
You know... that's kind of true.
*smiles for a moment* God, Barney... listen to you. You're like this whole other guy. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like it.
*touches the edge of his hairline, curls her fingers over his ear*
I really like it.
Barney says:
*grins goofily* Really? And how do you know this isn't all some play just to get you into bed?
Robin says:
If it is… I guess I fell for it. Hook, line, sinker, baby. *kisses him again*
Barney says:
*moves his fingers over the underside of her jaw, knuckles brushing over her throat and down across the curve of her breast. All he wants to do right now is push her back down on the couch*
Robin says:
*she reaches gently for his hand and holds it still*
*with a smile* The kid's watching.
Barney says:
*into her mouth* Damn. I guess that does make you the responsible one after all.
Robin says:
*laughs* And the world is as it should be.
~