Because I will never be...
I asked myself this question for the fifth time today.
What is it that I really want now?
I don't have the answer for it. I don't have time anymore. I need to find an answer to this immediately. So frustrating. ;/
Ok. Well.
School tomorrow. Hnnn. Should be getting back our result tomorrow. Kinda scared and nervous. I'm not sure how I'll fare for prelims but I'm quite confident that it won't be that bad.
Good luck to me!
Exam ends today, tomorrow get back results. No marking day. Aiyo. Well Os is only about 30+ days away, it's to be expected. :/
Last phrase already come onnnnnnnnn. Really can't wait until the day I can KO at home for two days straight hahaha want to nua anytime also can. Aye.
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Already say about 30+ days to Os and this is definitely not the right time to have this kind of feelings. Stupid emotions.
Why do I always feel that I'll never be good enough for you? You're out of my reach. There is nothing I can do to make you notice me because really, I need to be honest with myself; there will never be us. It's just...not possible. Sometimes I really ask myself. Why must I have feelings for you? You. You. You. I feel so guilty for having feelings for you because you're my friend. (at this point of time I need to reassure myself that you treat me as a friend). Stupid heart.
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Another thing. I just noticed this lately. Why is it that everything I say in the "group" will get ignored? We are friends for how quite long already. Without notice or anything you all just ignored me. Okay I need to clarify this first: I'm not sure if I did anything to offend any one of you. I'm not sure if you are coincidentally not seeing whatever I say or doing it on purpose. I am someone with low self confidence. I need reassurance in every single thing. Even a simple "you're a good friend" is good enough. Your ignoring me makes me feel as if I've done something bad and that I'm not fit to be your friend. You guys whispering will automatically lead me into thinking that you are talking about me. I'm sensitive like that.
Please...don't shut me out.
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T___T
Sigh what to do...?
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