DEAR FELLOW SHIP SWAPPER ♥
HELLO, AND PLEASE KNOW THAT I AM CURRENTLY FLAILING. Thank you for reading this for whatever nefarious purpose or reason that has brought to you to this page.
THINGS ABOUT ME
-AO3
-Tumblr
-Fandom tags: Brooklyn Nine-Nine • Community • Dollhouse • Gossip Girl [Carter • Georgina • Jack • Nate • Serena] • Skins (UK)
LIKES:
-Banter! Dialogue! Fresh, lively conversation (rather than ones that prove “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”) I love ‘snarky and competitive’ just as much as ‘lazy catching up’ and ‘excited news-sharing’ and ‘droll contemplation of life’.
-Good relationships with (best) friends other than the love interest. The main character’s life outside the romance is hugely interesting to me, even if it isn’t the focus of the fic.
-Necessary roughness. hate!sex, wall!sex, bumping into surfaces and talking and cursing and bantering in the middle of sexy times. In short, sex being not just torturously sensual, but also fun.
-Plot-driven stories, rather than pure character studies. It doesn’t have to be the most intricate plot since Inception; just a simple or plotty (or anything in between) storyline connecting the beginning and the end.
DISLIKES:
-Clichés. Forced to share a bed, anything involving alcohol, locked in confined spaces together, faking dating, etc. I like my romance straightforward and focused on how their personalities complement and conflict on their own.
-Hurt/comfort. Or, at least, when it’s sweet. Give me people exploiting the other person at their weakest (for good or for evil) any day.
-Nicknames. This is a weird, irrational pet peeve, and I apologise for it. I do love, love canonical nicknames (e.g. “Cowboy” and “Peril” in The Man From U.N.C.L.E or Carter calling Serena “Beautiful” in Gossip Girl or “CREAMPUFF” and other delicious miscellany from Carmilla) if they’re not overused.
-PWP. Explicit sex scenes do nothing for me, but I do love UST and the build-up to it.
-Excessive angst or character death. Pure fluff.
FANDOM SPECIFIC THINGS
All prompts below are completely optional.
BROOKLYN NINE-NINE
Amy Santiago and Rosa Diaz
-Something involving their jobs. I love that line of Diaz’s where she says that their line of work is tough and male-dominated enough without the two of them pitting themselves against each other. So, bring on these two being hilarious buddy cops: interrogating some atrociously obtuse or annoying perp, going undercover with embarrassing identities, straight-up police procedural, anything.
-Action! Chase scenes, fights, Diaz and Santiago casually curb-stomping people while engaging in Casual Danger Dialogue.
-Santiago snowballing/overcomplicating everything and Diaz being absolutely deadpan about the same.
-Diaz getting dragged into some competition that Santiago would normally have with Peralta (best holiday present, most pizza joint-related arrests, most Eyebrow Twitch of Approval from Holt etc.).
Sharon Jeffords and Terry Jeffords
-While I love the Jeffords family dynamic (look! Wholesome! Functional! Communicative! Family), I’d like something that doesn’t rehash the show’s favourite themes: Sharon not wanting him to take too many risks, Terry wanting to come home every night, doing ridiculously adorbs things for his daughters. Maybe something that elaborates on their personalities and mishaps that flow from their jobs, hobbies, random day in the life of the Jeffords.
-UNDERCOVER AS MARRIED. Except they’re actually married, but the terminology has to be preserved. Terry has to go undercover with a ring on his finger because reasons, and he refuses to be fake-married to anyone but Sharon. To whom he’s really married.
-Kevin and Sharon bond over something urbane, obscure and vaguely pretentious, while their spouses, who are forced to participate, look on in despair. Terry’s performance (read: enthusiasm and other such lies) is being compared unfavourably against Holt’s-OR WORSE: Holt is told he should be more like Terry.
-Something involving Cagney and Lacey in school. E.g. the Jeffordses get embroiled in stiff competition with the other parents about grades/extra-curricular/bake sale etc., while all the kids are having a good time. Sharon and Terry getting suspicious of their daughters’ boyfriends, Gina meeting the girls somehow, etc.
COMMUNITY
Britta Perry and Jeff Winger
-This show is the master of putting the cast as they are in bizarre situations that are Not Quite AU. I’d really love more of that (regular day at Greenfield but spoofing a specific genre) or else a straight-up AU.
-Something inspired by noir or something ‘hardboiled’. Old-timey PI agency, investigation of some supposedly “great injustice,” or any excuse really for trench coats and Britta walking into Jeff’s line of sight while showing off legs that go on forever.
-Britta’s activism coming into conflict with Jeff’s cynicism. E.g. he gets forced to go to some rally with her and ends up giving a rousing speech that kills everyone’s spirit, etc.
-Anything that emphasises how much the like each other, how they are alike, how they work as friends, and meaningless emotion-laden sex is a great benefit.
DOLLHOUSE
Adelle DeWitt and Laurence Dominic
-Until the betrayal reveal, there was nothing that Dominic wouldn’t do on Adelle’s command. I’d love something that deals with the power imbalance, differing attitudes to morality, the MATCHING STIFF UPPER LIPS, but hopefully with humour, and not an angst overdose.
-Suits! Him in suits and carrying assault rifles! Her in skirt-suits and nearly literally crushing balls in her fist! Them being extremely well-dressed badasses. I don’t care if they do nothing but lounge about in her office, smirk and scheme and gloat about how well the business is, as long as they’re wearing said suits.
-Dominic is the security detail at Adelle’s house while she’s off being Miss Lonely Hearts, or some other terribly awkward way for him to discover the secret.
-SUPER-DUPER-BONUS: Topher in some capacity. The way he drives both Adelle and Dominic up the wall is beautiful.
Claire Saunders and Topher Brink
-Something set before the Big Reveal about Claire. What impresses me the most is when I rewatch their initial interactions, knowing The Reveal, and see how totally… blasé Topher was about it. A Slice of Life/regular episode story where he’s coordinating with snarky, huffy Dr. Saunders over an engagement, but coloured with the fact that the writer, the reader, and all the characters except Claire KNOW.
-On Topher’s birthday, Whiskey, not Sierra, is imprinted (or proposed to be) as his best friend.
-The aftermath of Dr. Saunders’ death; how Topher deals with Whiskey becoming ‘Claire’. Does he try to hide his true feelings? Is he overflowing with self-congratulations? Does he remain oblivious while other people point out the spectacular amorality of the situation?
-EXTRA BINGO BONUS: BOYD. Topher’s dynamic with his ‘man-friend’ is the best thing ever, and I would love more of it, please.
GOSSIP GIRL
Carter Baizen and Serena van der Woodsen
-“WHO THE HELL IS HE NOT TO WANT YOU?” I was sold, hook, line and sinker, for this ship the second he said that. Give me moar. Carter being Serena’s biggest fan, fiercely protective of her, self-sacrificing (for the first time in his sad, miserable, seriously shady life). But I would prefer it not set in Santorini and/or during the time they were in search of her father. Something fresh that throws them in new settings with new challenges.
-Their being languid, directionless, spoilt rich kids in love post-season three. How Carter deals with being disinherited and penniless around perpetual heiress Serena, one of the few people who genuinely doesn’t care about money.
-Carter being shady. Before Season 3, this guy was seriously sketchy, and all that was suddenly wiped out to make him a viable love interest. Admittedly, I love new!Carter the best, but please don’t think you have to shy away from his past. Bring on the secret societies, corruption of juniors, gambling problems, and lifelong rivalry with Chuck! How does he reconcile his epic love for Serena with his creeptastic lifestyle?
-Bonus inclusion: Blair and Serena’s friendship. Where there’s Serena, I hope there’s Blair and the rest of the NJBC to back her up and glare (righteously and rightfully) at Carter.
Georgina Sparks and Jack Bass
-Something whacky and evil, as befitting the characters of these two. Georgina’s been accurately described as an “adolescent Cruella,” so something that highlights how hilarious and schemey they can be. They’re antagonists who are always self-satisfied and genuinely having fun.
-More about Jack’s corporate ruthlessness and Georgina’s Machiavellian mind. Her talents seem so… wasted on high schoolers and college kids. I can really see them teaming up to ruin lives and tumble empires, and generally being business partners. (Like Jack Donaghy and evil Jack Donaghy).
-Supervillain AU. I kid you not. Capes, masks, secret identities, all up to you.
-Bring back Sergei and his BAMF wife who threatened to kick Georgina’s ass. Or Phil. I always thought there was something sketchy about Milo’s parental figures. Jack knows them or works with them, etc., and that’s how he ends up in the same room with Georgina.
Nate Archibald and Serena van der Woodsen
-Alternate canon of some sort for the last season. Nate and Serena forming the unofficial club for People Who Have Been Burned By Dan Humphrey. Maybe how they turn the tables on hi. But no character bashing, please. (The steady decline in Dan’s characterisation from the deliberately flawed twat he was in the first season, is irrelevant).
-The two of them going seamlessly from codependent best friends to lovers. I love how effortless their relationship is on the show, how they just click in every way from summers in the Hamptons to the sex to falling in step beside each other.
-More alternate canon where Serena is less of an absentee best friend. When the Archibalds are having terrible family upheaval in Season 2, how do the NJBC rally to help him?
-BONUS CHERRY ON THE PERFECTLY LOVELY CAKE WITH LOADS OF FROSTING: Chuck and Nate’s flawless BFFery. Chuck and Nate living together and judging Dan.
SKINS (UK)
Effy Stonem and Tony Stonem
-What I really, really like about them is the fact it’s quasi-canon. It’s always almost there. There’s this explosive protectiveness and willingness to do anything for each other that keeps smacking into an invisible barrier between ‘understood’ and ‘explicit’. This might sound dumb (and not especially shippy) but I feel like they’d lose something if they even edged out of ‘understood’ territory into ‘explicit’.
-Something set in Series 1 or pre-series. Things get so horribly difficult for them afterwards (and then he goes off to university!), and ow, my heart. Anything that focuses on their twisted delight in conning the world, their us-together-against-all-else mentality, their perfect synchronicity, and how much they get done without talking.
-Effy aggressively disapproving of girls who like Tony and/or putting them through the ringer.
-Ridiculous things Tony has done for Effy (and knowing her, they’d probably not be simple or nice).
Michelle Richardson and Tony Stonem
-ANYTHING THAT YOUR PRECIOUS HEART DESIRES. Seriously, nothing that involves Michelle and Tony in a twisted, complicated, unhealthy, character-developing relationship would make me sad.
-Normally, angsty fic makes me curl up and die inside, but a humourous tone (and definitely not fluff) is the right tone for these two. Go forth and jab at all the uncomfortable truths in their interactions with a long, sharp pin.
-BONUS THAT I WOULD REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE: Jal and Michelle’s beautiful BFFery (and Jal’s contemptuous affection of Tony!)
-Completely optional extra: Effy scowling daggers at Michelle.
PLEASE REMEMBER
I love all of these ships, so if you write me anything about any of them (whether as a romantic or platonic couple), you will send me to the moon with joy. Literally ANYTHING about any of the above makes my day so overwhelmingly much, so thank you so much for this ♥
THINGS ABOUT ME
-AO3
-Tumblr
-Fandom tags: Brooklyn Nine-Nine • Community • Dollhouse • Gossip Girl [Carter • Georgina • Jack • Nate • Serena] • Skins (UK)
LIKES:
-Banter! Dialogue! Fresh, lively conversation (rather than ones that prove “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”) I love ‘snarky and competitive’ just as much as ‘lazy catching up’ and ‘excited news-sharing’ and ‘droll contemplation of life’.
-Good relationships with (best) friends other than the love interest. The main character’s life outside the romance is hugely interesting to me, even if it isn’t the focus of the fic.
-Necessary roughness. hate!sex, wall!sex, bumping into surfaces and talking and cursing and bantering in the middle of sexy times. In short, sex being not just torturously sensual, but also fun.
-Plot-driven stories, rather than pure character studies. It doesn’t have to be the most intricate plot since Inception; just a simple or plotty (or anything in between) storyline connecting the beginning and the end.
DISLIKES:
-Clichés. Forced to share a bed, anything involving alcohol, locked in confined spaces together, faking dating, etc. I like my romance straightforward and focused on how their personalities complement and conflict on their own.
-Hurt/comfort. Or, at least, when it’s sweet. Give me people exploiting the other person at their weakest (for good or for evil) any day.
-Nicknames. This is a weird, irrational pet peeve, and I apologise for it. I do love, love canonical nicknames (e.g. “Cowboy” and “Peril” in The Man From U.N.C.L.E or Carter calling Serena “Beautiful” in Gossip Girl or “CREAMPUFF” and other delicious miscellany from Carmilla) if they’re not overused.
-PWP. Explicit sex scenes do nothing for me, but I do love UST and the build-up to it.
-Excessive angst or character death. Pure fluff.
FANDOM SPECIFIC THINGS
All prompts below are completely optional.
BROOKLYN NINE-NINE
Amy Santiago and Rosa Diaz
-Something involving their jobs. I love that line of Diaz’s where she says that their line of work is tough and male-dominated enough without the two of them pitting themselves against each other. So, bring on these two being hilarious buddy cops: interrogating some atrociously obtuse or annoying perp, going undercover with embarrassing identities, straight-up police procedural, anything.
-Action! Chase scenes, fights, Diaz and Santiago casually curb-stomping people while engaging in Casual Danger Dialogue.
-Santiago snowballing/overcomplicating everything and Diaz being absolutely deadpan about the same.
-Diaz getting dragged into some competition that Santiago would normally have with Peralta (best holiday present, most pizza joint-related arrests, most Eyebrow Twitch of Approval from Holt etc.).
Sharon Jeffords and Terry Jeffords
-While I love the Jeffords family dynamic (look! Wholesome! Functional! Communicative! Family), I’d like something that doesn’t rehash the show’s favourite themes: Sharon not wanting him to take too many risks, Terry wanting to come home every night, doing ridiculously adorbs things for his daughters. Maybe something that elaborates on their personalities and mishaps that flow from their jobs, hobbies, random day in the life of the Jeffords.
-UNDERCOVER AS MARRIED. Except they’re actually married, but the terminology has to be preserved. Terry has to go undercover with a ring on his finger because reasons, and he refuses to be fake-married to anyone but Sharon. To whom he’s really married.
-Kevin and Sharon bond over something urbane, obscure and vaguely pretentious, while their spouses, who are forced to participate, look on in despair. Terry’s performance (read: enthusiasm and other such lies) is being compared unfavourably against Holt’s-OR WORSE: Holt is told he should be more like Terry.
-Something involving Cagney and Lacey in school. E.g. the Jeffordses get embroiled in stiff competition with the other parents about grades/extra-curricular/bake sale etc., while all the kids are having a good time. Sharon and Terry getting suspicious of their daughters’ boyfriends, Gina meeting the girls somehow, etc.
COMMUNITY
Britta Perry and Jeff Winger
-This show is the master of putting the cast as they are in bizarre situations that are Not Quite AU. I’d really love more of that (regular day at Greenfield but spoofing a specific genre) or else a straight-up AU.
-Something inspired by noir or something ‘hardboiled’. Old-timey PI agency, investigation of some supposedly “great injustice,” or any excuse really for trench coats and Britta walking into Jeff’s line of sight while showing off legs that go on forever.
-Britta’s activism coming into conflict with Jeff’s cynicism. E.g. he gets forced to go to some rally with her and ends up giving a rousing speech that kills everyone’s spirit, etc.
-Anything that emphasises how much the like each other, how they are alike, how they work as friends, and meaningless emotion-laden sex is a great benefit.
DOLLHOUSE
Adelle DeWitt and Laurence Dominic
-Until the betrayal reveal, there was nothing that Dominic wouldn’t do on Adelle’s command. I’d love something that deals with the power imbalance, differing attitudes to morality, the MATCHING STIFF UPPER LIPS, but hopefully with humour, and not an angst overdose.
-Suits! Him in suits and carrying assault rifles! Her in skirt-suits and nearly literally crushing balls in her fist! Them being extremely well-dressed badasses. I don’t care if they do nothing but lounge about in her office, smirk and scheme and gloat about how well the business is, as long as they’re wearing said suits.
-Dominic is the security detail at Adelle’s house while she’s off being Miss Lonely Hearts, or some other terribly awkward way for him to discover the secret.
-SUPER-DUPER-BONUS: Topher in some capacity. The way he drives both Adelle and Dominic up the wall is beautiful.
Claire Saunders and Topher Brink
-Something set before the Big Reveal about Claire. What impresses me the most is when I rewatch their initial interactions, knowing The Reveal, and see how totally… blasé Topher was about it. A Slice of Life/regular episode story where he’s coordinating with snarky, huffy Dr. Saunders over an engagement, but coloured with the fact that the writer, the reader, and all the characters except Claire KNOW.
-On Topher’s birthday, Whiskey, not Sierra, is imprinted (or proposed to be) as his best friend.
-The aftermath of Dr. Saunders’ death; how Topher deals with Whiskey becoming ‘Claire’. Does he try to hide his true feelings? Is he overflowing with self-congratulations? Does he remain oblivious while other people point out the spectacular amorality of the situation?
-EXTRA BINGO BONUS: BOYD. Topher’s dynamic with his ‘man-friend’ is the best thing ever, and I would love more of it, please.
GOSSIP GIRL
Carter Baizen and Serena van der Woodsen
-“WHO THE HELL IS HE NOT TO WANT YOU?” I was sold, hook, line and sinker, for this ship the second he said that. Give me moar. Carter being Serena’s biggest fan, fiercely protective of her, self-sacrificing (for the first time in his sad, miserable, seriously shady life). But I would prefer it not set in Santorini and/or during the time they were in search of her father. Something fresh that throws them in new settings with new challenges.
-Their being languid, directionless, spoilt rich kids in love post-season three. How Carter deals with being disinherited and penniless around perpetual heiress Serena, one of the few people who genuinely doesn’t care about money.
-Carter being shady. Before Season 3, this guy was seriously sketchy, and all that was suddenly wiped out to make him a viable love interest. Admittedly, I love new!Carter the best, but please don’t think you have to shy away from his past. Bring on the secret societies, corruption of juniors, gambling problems, and lifelong rivalry with Chuck! How does he reconcile his epic love for Serena with his creeptastic lifestyle?
-Bonus inclusion: Blair and Serena’s friendship. Where there’s Serena, I hope there’s Blair and the rest of the NJBC to back her up and glare (righteously and rightfully) at Carter.
Georgina Sparks and Jack Bass
-Something whacky and evil, as befitting the characters of these two. Georgina’s been accurately described as an “adolescent Cruella,” so something that highlights how hilarious and schemey they can be. They’re antagonists who are always self-satisfied and genuinely having fun.
-More about Jack’s corporate ruthlessness and Georgina’s Machiavellian mind. Her talents seem so… wasted on high schoolers and college kids. I can really see them teaming up to ruin lives and tumble empires, and generally being business partners. (Like Jack Donaghy and evil Jack Donaghy).
-Supervillain AU. I kid you not. Capes, masks, secret identities, all up to you.
-Bring back Sergei and his BAMF wife who threatened to kick Georgina’s ass. Or Phil. I always thought there was something sketchy about Milo’s parental figures. Jack knows them or works with them, etc., and that’s how he ends up in the same room with Georgina.
Nate Archibald and Serena van der Woodsen
-Alternate canon of some sort for the last season. Nate and Serena forming the unofficial club for People Who Have Been Burned By Dan Humphrey. Maybe how they turn the tables on hi. But no character bashing, please. (The steady decline in Dan’s characterisation from the deliberately flawed twat he was in the first season, is irrelevant).
-The two of them going seamlessly from codependent best friends to lovers. I love how effortless their relationship is on the show, how they just click in every way from summers in the Hamptons to the sex to falling in step beside each other.
-More alternate canon where Serena is less of an absentee best friend. When the Archibalds are having terrible family upheaval in Season 2, how do the NJBC rally to help him?
-BONUS CHERRY ON THE PERFECTLY LOVELY CAKE WITH LOADS OF FROSTING: Chuck and Nate’s flawless BFFery. Chuck and Nate living together and judging Dan.
SKINS (UK)
Effy Stonem and Tony Stonem
-What I really, really like about them is the fact it’s quasi-canon. It’s always almost there. There’s this explosive protectiveness and willingness to do anything for each other that keeps smacking into an invisible barrier between ‘understood’ and ‘explicit’. This might sound dumb (and not especially shippy) but I feel like they’d lose something if they even edged out of ‘understood’ territory into ‘explicit’.
-Something set in Series 1 or pre-series. Things get so horribly difficult for them afterwards (and then he goes off to university!), and ow, my heart. Anything that focuses on their twisted delight in conning the world, their us-together-against-all-else mentality, their perfect synchronicity, and how much they get done without talking.
-Effy aggressively disapproving of girls who like Tony and/or putting them through the ringer.
-Ridiculous things Tony has done for Effy (and knowing her, they’d probably not be simple or nice).
Michelle Richardson and Tony Stonem
-ANYTHING THAT YOUR PRECIOUS HEART DESIRES. Seriously, nothing that involves Michelle and Tony in a twisted, complicated, unhealthy, character-developing relationship would make me sad.
-Normally, angsty fic makes me curl up and die inside, but a humourous tone (and definitely not fluff) is the right tone for these two. Go forth and jab at all the uncomfortable truths in their interactions with a long, sharp pin.
-BONUS THAT I WOULD REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE: Jal and Michelle’s beautiful BFFery (and Jal’s contemptuous affection of Tony!)
-Completely optional extra: Effy scowling daggers at Michelle.
PLEASE REMEMBER
I love all of these ships, so if you write me anything about any of them (whether as a romantic or platonic couple), you will send me to the moon with joy. Literally ANYTHING about any of the above makes my day so overwhelmingly much, so thank you so much for this ♥