why is it so hard to say good bye, yet I feel so guilty that Ive lived???

[hippiechickii7]

Why is it when someone close to me passes I feel so guilty for being alive? Is it that I feel like it should have been me?>> Most of the time I do. I feel like Im on borrowed time and god is just playing some fucked up game on me that makes me hurt even more inside and really makes me wish I was dead.. Or is it a lesson that I just havent got yet

Comments

hey

[pwrpufgrl]

You aren't the only one that feels that way when stuff like that happens.

i know

[pwrpufgrl]

i understand you not wanting to leave to get your life back on track. i'm happy that you want to do that. but you have to understand how ungodly scared i am for you. i'm also sad because if you start fall semester you can't come on the road trip across the country with me. i just want you to see that i want you to get your life back on track and i'm giving you the opportunity to do that away from new york. trust me i know what it's like to be scared and just drop everything and leave. i did it when i joined the navy and look at where i am now. if i didn't take a chance i would be absolutely no where with my life. i want you to know i am here for you for whatever you need and that i love you more than i love myself at times. i really want to you think about everything i am offering you, to come stay in hawaii until i leave, go home for a few months then see what happens there, if you don't like it come to washington, go back to college there. i want you to be able to do whatever you dream, but to be honest staying in ny isn't going to