Love Situation Chapters 13 through 19(final)
Chapter 13
"AH! AH! I KNEW IT!" someone had yelled at the top of their lungs. Sho and I both jumped ten feet in the air and whirled around towards the door. Only one person could be so stupidly excited over this. Aiba was standing at the door looking so happy that I thought he might literally explode or faint... I was leaning towards explosion.
"Aiba!" Sho exclaimed, his eyes wide and looking totally shocked. My heart was racing so fast I thought I was going to die. I clutched at my chest and glared at Aiba.
"Did you seriously have to scream?" I said, resting my head on the top of the couch. Aiba trotted up to Sho and tackled him in a bone crushing hug.
"I was right!" he said yet again, bouncing slightly to the side and pointing at us excitedly. Sho and I grabbed him and pulled him onto the couch. He looked at us with a crazed smile.
"Aiba-chan! Listen! No one can know right now, okay? No one." Sho said slowly and threateningly. I nodded heartily in agreement. Aiba suddenly looked worried as he darted his eyes from me to Sho.
"No one? Not even-"
"No one." Sho repeated himself. Aiba nodded slowly as if he was thinking, then it turned into a rapid nod.
"Okay! I understand!" he said excitedly with his dorky smile. Sho and I leaned back against the couch and sighed a loud relief. But Aiba was still staring at us, grinning ear to ear.
"Aiba, what...?" Sho started to ask, his face concerned.
"I’m just so happy!" Aiba exclaimed again as he flung himself over Sho to hug me.
"Who does that!? Seriously!?" Sho gasped as he tried to wiggle out from under Aiba. Sho managed to squeeze himself from under Aiba and onto the floor, and Aiba cuddled up to me with his overexcited hug. Sho picked up his lunch and stood behind the couch, eating it silently while Aiba blabbed about how happy he was. Aiba then sat up on his knees and bounced on the couch like a little kid.
"Sho-chan! Can you kiss her?" Aiba asked enthusiastically. Just as Sho smacked Aiba on top of the head, the rest of the members came bustling in with my two trainees, Aya-san and Sato-san herding them along.
"All right, boys, your break has been long enough! Time to suit up." Aya said loudly while clapping her hands. I jumped up from the couch and glanced at Sho, who met eyes with me for a second before walking to the trash can to throw away his food. We both knew we had to hide our feelings now, just like nothing had happened.
I took my place next to Aya-san and Sato-san and began to help them hand out the costumes. Aiba practically pranced over to us, causing Nino and Ohno to look at him like he had finally gone crazy. While Aya-san and Sato-san helped them into their costumes, I moved over to the second rack to hang up extra costume parts and grab Aiba’s spare jacket. As I turned around I ran straight into Jun.
"J- Jun..." I whispered as I bowed slightly. I looked up at him and he was looking back at me. I could tell he had finally calmed down by the softer look in his eye.
"I wanted to... apologize for earlier." he said quietly like he didn’t want to be overheard. My eyes darted across the room where Sho was getting dressed in front of the mirror, his curious eyes focused on Jun and I.
Looking back to Jun, I smiled at him.
"It’s fine, Jun... though... you may want to be apologizing to Sakurai-san. I heard about the argument you two had." I said pointing over to Sho. Jun shifted his weight uncomfortably and looked back to me.
"Fine." he mumbled as he turned away and stalked over to Sho. I tried to mind my own business while the two talked, but my curiosity was stronger this time, making me ruffle through the costume rack nearest to them for several minutes.
"Minako? What are you doing?" Sato-san asked me, eyeing me over her glasses.
"Looking for Ohno-san’s jacket and- oh! Look, he already has it!" feeling Sato-san’s disapproving stare, I quickly excused myself to help Aiba with his costume. He didn’t really need help, but I had to occupy myself with something.
"I’m going to ask Sho-chan if he wants to get ramen after the concert for celebration! Do you want to come?" Aiba asked in an excited whisper as I came near him. I was about to say yes, but I suddenly remembered what I promised Jiro.
"I can’t Aiba-kun... I’ve already made plans." I said sadly as I made sure his microphone was attached properly. Aiba looked slightly disappointed but he smiled anyway.
"I told Jun to make up with Sho." I whispered to Aiba, nodding my head towards the two, now laughing like nothing had happened. Aiba grinned even more as his easily excited energy flowed through him. Soon enough, the director and his staff appeared, calling for the boys to be backstage. So, as the usual routine, Aya-san, Sato-san, my assistants and myself lined up by the door and wished them good luck as they filed out into the hall. My two elders and my two assistants followed them backstage while I stayed behind to reorganize everything before the next costume change. In a matter of minutes, the once noisy hallway had become silent and empty. While humming quietly to myself, I heard trotting footsteps coming down the hall towards the dressing room. Thinking it was either one of my assistants or another staff member that forgot something, I walked over to the door and peeked out.
"Sakurai-kun?" I said in surprise as he was coming my way. I stepped out into the hall and met him halfway. He smiled weakly, then looked up and down the hall before he suddenly, and swiftly, kissed me once again.
"Sorry..." he whispered as he kept our faces nearly touching. I smiled lightly and switched my glance from his soft lips to his eyes.
"You have a concert..." I said softly. Sho smirked and slowly drew away, our hands still linked. When our arms couldn’t stretch any further, we reluctantly let go of each other’s hand.
I waved a silent good-bye as Sho trotted back to the backstage, he looked back once with his beautiful smile, then turned around the corner and out of sight. I stood in the hallway alone, my trembling arms crossed over my chest and my heart light and fluttery as ever.
How I got into this situation was simply amazing to me. I laughed quietly to myself and sighed. I don’t think I could have been anymore happy than this moment.
Chapter 14
The evening concert went so much faster than they usually do. At least to me it did, but that was probably because of my airy-minded state. While the boys were doing their first encore, I approached Aya to ask if I could take off early.
"Take off early? Do you have a date, Minako?" she asked me sternly.
"Er... Not exactly, more like an outing." I said truthfully. Aya-san studied me over her glasses for a moment, then sighed deeply.
"You’ve worked hard today, go on." she said with a sweep of her hand. I bowed deeply and thanked her, then rushed to the staff room. Being in Tokyo was much easier for most of the people who had a part in this concert tour, mainly because it was close to home. I was no exception, my apartment complex was just a few miles from the Dome and I couldn’t wait to sleep in my own bed again.
I grabbed my bag and stuffed away my ID lanyard. I wanted to see Sho again before I left, but I knew he would get out much later than me. So I walked down the hall and out the exit doors were Jiro said to meet him. To my surprise, he was already outside, leaning up against the wall with a hat pulled over his eyes. He looked over with a bright smile and waved happily.
"You got off early! Should we go?" he asked excitedly.
"Where are we going again?" I asked as we walked out into the dark sidewalk.
"It’s a new arcade just a few blocks from here. It’s supposed to have karaoke booths, those big, old school video games and I think even Pachinko." Jiro named off other games that were there and I instantly reminded of Nino. The arcade was fairly close to my apartment, which was perfect if I ever got bored at home.
As I was with Jiro, the adoration I mentioned before seemed like nothing to me now. Maybe if I had been his age again, I would have seen him in a different light. But now, he was just a very, very adorable friend.
"You can’t choose that song again!" Jiro exclaimed as he tried to grab at my microphone. I jumped away from him and started to sing even though I was laughing too hard. We were in one of the karaoke booths in the arcade about an hour later, singing all different songs. Jiro’s voice was absolutely gorgeous, but he purposely made up stupid dances to go along with them.
I never really liked to sing, so I stuck with one song about four times, each time getting a higher score. Of course, Jiro claimed I was cheating and tried to change songs while I wasn’t paying attention.
"Ah! See? You made me laugh, now I got a twelve!" I said as I fell back into my chair. Jiro flipped through the book trying to find a song, but closed it sharply after a few minutes.
"Want to get ice cream?" he asked suddenly. I glanced at my watch, it was already nearing midnight and I doubted any ice cream places would be open. But I accepted anyway, and we were on our way.
Just as I thought, we found no ice cream near us, so we decided to call it a night. We walked slowly side by side, talking about the concert tour and what Jiro wanted to do besides being in Johnny’s.
"To tell the truth... I’ve been thinking about quitting." he said with a sigh and looking up at the dark sky. I was surprised, this was the first time I’ve heard Jiro say anything about quitting.
"Seriously? Why do you want to do that?" I asked curiously.
"I think... it’s not what I want to do. It’s because I have to quit." Jiro said quietly. It was a very vague answer, so I asked him more.
"You have to? Why?"
"Because of you." he stated quickly. We both stopped on the sidewalk, traffic buzzing by us and little restaurants next to us alive with voices.
"Me?" I wasn’t sure if this was a good reason or a bad reason... was he mad at me? The brim of his hat covered his expression, so I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Our silence was tense and shaky.
"Did I do something? You can tell-" I was cut off suddenly when Jiro abruptly kissed me. Once I knew what was happening, I pushed him away roughly.
"What are you doing!?" I exclaimed weakly, still trying to comprehend what just happened.
"Sho-chan! Wait! Sho!" someone was yelling behind us. Jiro and I turned around, and in my horror, I saw Aiba standing out on the sidewalk in front of a ramen shop. He had his back to us and further up the sidewalk was Sho, walking away and not looking back. I knew in an instant what had happened.
"Aiba-kun!" I yelled as I ran up to him, my heart about to explode. Aiba turned to me with a terrified expression... it was confirmed... Sho had seen what Jiro had done. Usually my temper was very well controlled but in this situation, it was different. I faced Jiro, who was frozen in his spot and had absolutely no idea what was going on.
"Why did you do that!?" I yelled furiously. I felt Aiba grab my shoulders as I tried to approach Jiro, and that’s when I broke down. Turning into Aiba’s chest, tears flooded my vision as I began to sob. Aiba was probably startled and the only thing he could do was wrap his arms around me.
"Jiro-kun... it’s okay, you can go." I heard Aiba say gently to Jiro as he cautiously walked towards us. He was most likely frightened at what had happened so suddenly. I heard Jiro mumbled something to Aiba, Aiba nodded and then I heard Jiro’s footsteps fading away. "Minako... your place is near here, right?" Aiba whispered. I nodded and looked up at him.
"I can go myself." I said tearfully. But Aiba didn’t let me go.
"Mina-chan! I can’t let you go alone." he softly exclaimed, shocked that I would even think about going alone. His words made me cry even harder and his hug tightened. If it wasn’t for Aiba at that moment, I think I would have been completely lost. My world had shattered in front of my eyes and no one was to blame but me. Somewhere I knew that Jiro had liked me more than just a mentor, but I never cared to listen to it. Had I not given in to his plea, I could be with Aiba and Sho at this moment, eating our fill of cheap ramen and sake. And now that simple thought was once again unreachable. In Sho’s mind, I was a liar and a cheater.
Aiba wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we began to walk slowly towards my apartment. Several times he kissed the top of my head, telling me everything would be okay... and I wanted to believe him... but the future was dark to me now.
Chapter 15
I don’t know how we made it to my apartment, seeing as I was in no place to care where I was going and Aiba being... Aiba. But we found it, and being home was somewhat soothing. I walked numbly to the couch, dropping my purse to the floor as I went. Collapsing on the couch, my tears didn’t stop. Aiba only turned on one lamp in the living room and joined me on the couch. Holding me tightly once again, he slowly rocked side to side and I think even he started to cry just a bit. It was strangely relaxing being held by Aiba... knowing I had a friend that would be here, no matter what happened.
I woke up soon after, not even remembering when I feel asleep. I was laying against the armrest and Aiba was leaning against me, his arms still around my shoulders and fast asleep. I looked over to the clock hanging in the kitchen, it was only 5 in the morning. My eyes felt dry and puffy and the urge to cry had disappeared. I thought about waking up Aiba, but I left him sleeping. He was probably exhausted. My mind wandered to last night and how I yelled at Jiro. I honestly felt guilty. He didn’t know there was anything between Sho and I, he was just a kid with a crush. Our conversation when we were in the sound staff’s room crossed my mind... there was no girl at school... I was the girl he was asking about.
"Minako?" Aiba’s sleepy voice broke me from my thoughts. I looked over to him and smiled slightly.
"Morning..." I said sleepily. Aiba sat up and stretched, rubbing his eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked groggily. I shrugged. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t sad and I wasn’t angry... I was basically a shell.
"What happened last night?" I asked quietly. Aiba yawned and leaned against me again.
"Hm... Sho-chan and I went to get ramen... he saw you two from the window and just walked out." Aiba said softly, closing his eyes again. My throat suddenly became tight as I imagined how hurt Sho must’ve been.
"I never imagined..." I tried to explain how unreal this all was, but unexpected tears rushed to my eyes again. Aiba hugged me again, patting one side of my head like I was a little kid.
"Jiro-kun didn’t know, Minako... we’ll get this straightened out, okay?" Aiba said gently, adding the "okay" in English. I wiped my eyes and smiled at him.
"Thank you, Aiba-kun." I mumbled before I started crying again.
I was glad Aiba had stayed the night with me. He even fixed us both breakfast after my crying session. Sure it was only rice and eggs, but it cheered me up enough to laugh with him. After our very early breakfast, I went to take a bath and Aiba wanted to watch something on the television. I’m very sorry to say that this bath was anything but relaxing. I kept slipping into daydreams about how perfect everything seemed to be yesterday and then how it just shattered in a matter of minutes. I began to cry again and decided to just give up the bath. I walked out of the bathroom and into my bedroom to get dressed. Even though my door was closed, I could hear Aiba talking to someone quietly. I pressed my ear to the door and listened quietly.
"...Jiro-kun didn’t know, Sho-chan... of course not... well she didn’t expect it either... yes... yeah... Sho-chan... ahhh..." I heard Aiba close his phone and curse under his breath. I bit my lip to try and keep the tears back, whatever that conversation was, it didn’t sound productive. I ignored looking into the mirror while I dressed, I knew I was a mess and fixing it would be pointless today.
"Minako, he didn’t sound happy." Aiba said as we walked slowly down the sidewalk. The both of us had to be at the Dome by 7:30 and we had about an hour to spare to walk as slow as we wanted.
"Of course he’s not happy..." I mumbled. I stared at the ground most of the time we were walking, Aiba taking my hand to guide me as we crossed the street. He tried to talk about something else, I think it was about the weather, but I didn’t hear anything he said. Aiba fell silent again and didn’t say anything until we reached the entrance for the Dome.
"Will you be okay?" he asked me before he opened the door. I swallowed nervously and nodded. Aiba opened the door slowly and let me in first. I don’t remember ever being this down at work and almost everyone noticed. They greeted me with friendly good mornings, but I simply bowed my head because I felt that if I opened my mouth, I would start crying again.
Aiba guided me to my staff room, his hand on the small of my back. When I managed to pass everyone and their curious stares, we entered my room quietly. Aya-san and Sato-san were in their usual place, eating breakfast and loudly gossiping. Aiba greeted them cheerfully.
"Good morning." he said with a low bow. The two women paused their gossiping and greeted Aiba. Aya looked worriedly at my pathetic face as I passed her to set down my bag on the far table.
"Umm, Aya-san...?" Aiba made a motion for her to come over to him. I watched as Aiba and Aya whispered in the doorway for a moment, Aya nodding her head in understanding. Aiba looked over to me and waved before he took off up the hall. Aya-san walked back over to Sato-san and whispered something to her. I turned away at this point, I felt so embarrassed that everyone was making such a big deal because of my mood. As I opened my bag to search for my ID, Sato-san bid good-bye to Aya-san and left the room swiftly, closing the door behind her. I suddenly felt uncomfortable with just Aya and me in the quiet room.
"Minako-chan... did you really lose your dog?" Aya-san asked quietly. I turned around in confusion when she asked this. Dog? I didn’t have a dog. Then I understood what Aiba was doing and I couldn’t help but to smile at his horrible attempt to cover me.
"Is that what Aiba-san said? No, Aya-san..." I said quietly, shaking my head slowly.
"Sit, Minako." Aya said roughly. I immediately obeyed and sat across from Aya, who was looking at me deeply.
"Sakamoto-kun is in the same mood as you today. Don’t sit here and tell me nothing happened. I have been in the same position as you and I have no intention to report you. You kids will be kids, and we can’t stop that." Aya said firmly as she crossed her legs and waited for me to reply. I wanted to trust her and tell her everything but I was scared. I bit my lip and looked down at my folded hands as I felt more tears coming on.
"Minako... as your boss, I really wish you could trust me." Aya said in such a motherly voice I had never heard from her. I really didn’t have a choice. She was bound to get the information from me one way or the other. I nodded and took a deep and quivery breath.
"I... I think... I’m in the same situation as you were in, Aya-san. But... it’s not just with Jiro-kun... it’s with two more." I said slowly, watching her reaction cautiously. Aya settled back in her chair and gazed at me intently, waiting for who the other two were. I wiped the stray tears from my face and closed my eyes.
"Matsumoto Jun... and Sakurai Sho."
Chapter 16
If there was a time in my life where I had to spill out my heart, this would top it. I told Aya everything from start to end, from five years ago when I first set eyes on Jun to yesterday afternoon in the Dome with Sho and finally to last night. She didn’t say anything while I spoke, she just sat listening to me and everything I had to say. I didn’t cry as much as I thought I would, which was okay with me. When I finished my story, Aya smiled at me and took my hand gently.
"Minako... your situation beats mine by far." she said softly. I wasn’t quite sure how to react so I remained silent.
"Now... what you need to do is to decide. Being indecisive is your own downfall. Don’t go running into anyone’s open arms."
"Be decisive? How...?" I was slightly confused by what she meant.
"You have your mind set on Sakamoto-kun, he will remain a good friend. What you need is to look at the other two, your past and your present. Who, if any, will be your future?" Aya said, letting go of my hand and still looking intently at my slightly dumbfounded face. I will never understand how Aya can go from the bitchy perfectionist to the wise and gentle philosopher.
My future? I’ve never even thought about my future seriously before. If anything, I was more confused now and Aya seemed to see it.
"If I were you, Minako, I would quit." she said suddenly. I looked at her shocked.
"Quit?" I asked in a whisper. She nodded her head.
"Think of what you’re doing now. Undecided girl is dating one member, while on the other hand, is pining for another. You’ll cause a breakup." Aya said firmly. Was this her way of watching me suffer? I never realized how I managed to get the band’s future in my hands. I laid my head on the table in my arms and began to cry again. The sudden realization of pressure was too much. Aya touched my back comfortably as she stood up.
"I’ll leave you alone for a moment... but be in the dressing room in an hour. We’ve got repairs and packing to start." I nodded and listened to Aya leave the room and close the door behind her. Quit? How could I even begin to think about that? I loved being here more than anything, it was my life.
Trying to calm myself down, I paced the room with my arms crossed, thinking over everything Aya had told me. I had finally stopped crying because I had much more important things to think over. Jun and I were over, he knew that and I knew that. But that didn’t mean our feelings had stopped. I finally understood what Aya had said about me being indecisive. There was something missing between Jun and I... something that didn’t block me from falling back into his arms. The problem was that I didn’t know what it was... or if I was even right in thinking that. Then there was Sho. I knew for a fact that Sho had all of my heart... but my mind was longing for Jun. I dug my fingers into my hair in frustration and grumbled to myself.
An hour passed quickly and I found myself walking the halls once again. Even though I looked like a zombie walking like I was, I never felt so awake. Aya had gotten my mind into overdrive. When I showed up in the dressing room, Aya-san didn’t treat me any differently than before. I actually think she gave me more work to do, but her timing couldn’t have been better. She had given me a pile of costumes to bring to the spare room about five minutes before the boys needed to get dressed for their afternoon concert. I happily took the job and was planning to take as long as I could to return.
Flicking on the light in the spare room, I set the pile on one of the nearby tables and went to work putting hangers on them. It soon became a dull routine and I was having trouble making time go quickly. I looked at the clock behind me and saw that the concert had started almost ten minutes ago. I was safe for another two hours. Unfortunately, Aya kept me stupidly busy through those two hours having me do pointless tasks making the two hours go faster than I wanted them to. It quickly became lunch time and I found myself alone in our staff room picking absentmindedly at my lunch. I don’t know what I would do if I ran into any of the members, so I decided to isolate myself until I knew what would happen.
"Minako-san?" it was a voice I knew all too well. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Jiro standing timidly in the doorway. I turned around silently like I hadn’t seen him... he was the last person I wanted to see. I heard him walk into the room and then a sudden thud behind me caught my attention. I whirled around and saw Jiro sitting on the floor, bent over in a bow. I was shocked.
"What are you doing? Don’t bow like that to me! People are going to see you!" I whispered anxiously, my eyes darting to the hallway. Jiro slowly sat up and looked up at me with watering eyes.
"I’m so, so sorry... Minako-san... forgive me for last night." he said miserably. Pity overflowed my anger and I nodded slowly.
"It’s okay, Jiro-kun..." I mumbled as I turned back to my lunch. I blinked away tears as Jiro remained sitting on the floor, sniffling quietly.
"I... I spoke to Sakurai-san... forgive me, Minako-san, if I had known about y- you and Sakurai-san... I never would have done-"
"Jiro-kun? You spoke to him?" I interrupted suddenly, joining Jiro on the floor. Looking startled at my sudden action, Jiro nodded and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
"Yes... I’ve decided to quit." Jiro said quietly, looking down at the floor.
"I... I was going to quit for you, actually... so you wouldn’t get into trouble, if we had somehow worked out..." he continued on softly. Several uncontrollable tears rolled down my face as I realized how caring he was.
"I’m sorry, Jiro-kun..." I mumbled. Jiro shook his head and smiled weakly at me.
"He really likes you, Minako-san..." he said suddenly cheerful. I smiled and wiped some tears away. Jiro and I talked some more about why he wanted to quit and there was more reason behind it than just me. His father and grandfather owned a fishing business in Hokkaido and wanted to help them with the business. He also told me that being a Johnny’s idol wasn’t what he really wanted to do, he actually wanted to start a business of his own. When I asked him about what Sho had said, Jiro smiled proudly.
"At first he was pissed when I approached him... but Aiba-san was by my side and eased the tension between us. I explained everything to Sakurai-san and begged for his forgiveness... he supported me in my decision and forgave me." Jiro explained happily. I smiled to myself, I couldn’t imagine Sho doing anything else than what he did.
"And... he wants to see you, Minako-san... he tried to find you this morning but couldn’t." Jiro announced a little more excitedly than necessary. I felt my heart skip a beat and my mouth dropped open.
"Eh? He wants to see me?" I asked loudly. Jiro nodded once with a smile.
"At the end of the concert... and... he said something about meeting on a roof... but the Dome doesn’t have a roof we have access to, so I didn’t know what he was talking about... sorry." Jiro said with a frown and a slight bow. I was beaming with joy and I started to laugh. The moment had come that Aya was talking about. Jiro had made his decision and now it was my turn.
Chapter 17
I had asked Jiro to have lunch with me, but he refused, saying he had to go talk with the director about his decision. I wished him good luck and went back to my lunch. I was able to eat some of the bento now that I knew some things had been resolved in this mess. But I had to wonder what Sho was going to ask me. Granted he’d be pissed that I hadn’t told him about Jiro, but now that Jiro had seen him personally, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. My two trainees came in to join me a few moments later, talking about how hard it had started to rain. I thought this was a weird subject for them to be talking about, seeing that they were three years younger than me... shouldn’t they be talking about celebrities? As I listened to them, I felt a sudden pride that they were learning from me.
"Minako-san? When does the winter tour begin? I can never remember dates." one of them asked me softly.
"Oh, September... you should get a call in the middle of August." I replied with a smile. The girls thanked me and then asked me some advice on dating. I laughed to myself when they asked me. Should they really be depending on me for that information? Aya-san had told me what she had experienced and what she had learned... I guess it was my turn to pass it on. After lunch, Aya-san kept me on my toes running errands and preparing for the end of the concert when we had to pack every thing up into storage until we needed them again. As I passed the doors that lead outside, I saw that it was raining extremely hard and the dark clouds showed no signs of letting up. It suddenly put me in a dreary mood as I visited room after room, dropping off and picking up papers for Aya-san. I walked the halls by myself, listening to the muffled music of the concert and the cheering crowd. The thought of putting the band in danger rose in my mind again... I could never live with myself if that happened.
"Minako? Why are you standing there?" Sato-san’s voice asked. I shook myself out of my thoughts and found myself standing in the doorway of the dressing room.
"Ah, sorry..." I apologized shyly and came into the room to pass the collected papers to Aya-san.
Sho wanted to see me after the concert, so I ran everywhere trying to get Aya’s errands done and help pack at the same time, in hopes of getting done quickly. However, that wasn’t the case. By the time the concert had ended and most people had left, I still had a pile of papers that Aya told me to file before I left. I wasn’t the only one left in the building, the director and his staff were still running around and the cleaning crew were cleaning up the Dome. I looked at the clock anxiously, it was nearing 10:00, almost a full hour after the concert.
Grabbing the last stack of papers, I shoved them into a folder, locked the cabinet, grabbed my bag and rushed to backstage. I couldn’t miss Sho. I was in a panic as I pushed open the backstage door, startling some of the lighting crew. I took a moment to slow down and collect myself.
"What are you doing, Minako?" a sharp voice asked behind me. I looked behind me and saw Jun walking my way, his bag on his shoulder.
"Wha- What am I doing? What are you doing?" I replied through huffs of air. Jun raised his eyebrows at me and set down his bag before stepping unnecessarily close to me.
"...I’m not giving up so easily on you." he said sternly as he softly brushed my hair from my cheek. I forgot why I was in a rush as I stared memorized up at Jun.
"What? Why?" it was a stupid thing to ask, but it was the only thing I could think of. Jun picked up his bag again and smirked at me.
"Bye, Minako." he said slyly as he turned around, walked to the door and left. I stood stunned for a moment, wondering why the hell Jun waited to tell me that. I touched the spot he had touched on my face and shook my head, I needed to meet Sho! I trotted past the stage crew and up the side wings, finally finding the door. I tore open the door to the top row and ran out, gasping for air. My eyes darted around the seats, praying I would see him. No one. I yelled in frustration and bit my lip to fight back tears.
I had missed him.
Slowly I walked back through the stage and down the hall towards the exit doors. I was disappointed in myself, that I had allowed myself to miss Sho and for letting Jun get to me like he did. Aya was right, and I couldn’t deny it anymore. I was undecided and I was hurting more people than myself. I came to a stop in front of the doors. If it wasn’t for the lights of the city and traffic, the rain clouds would have made it pitch black. And it was raining hard. I sighed. I didn’t have my umbrella... I found it oddly suitable, considering my mood. So, I pushed open the doors and walked out into the pouring rain. I was almost soaked the moment I walked out in the open, but I hardly cared.
"Minako!" someone called. I looked back drowsily and saw someone running towards me with an umbrella. I blinked the rain from my eyes and looked again. It was Sho. The sight brought tears to my eyes. He hadn’t left after all. When he came close, he held the umbrella over us both and looked at me like I was crazy.
"What the hell are you doing?" he asked with a half smile. I blinked away my tears and looked up at him.
"I didn’t have my umbrella..." I said weakly. Sho shook his head and started to laugh, which I joined in too. What a lame excuse.
"They kicked me out of the Dome... they needed to clean. Where were you?" Sho asked. I looked up at him. Telling him I was delayed by work then by Jun? I hardly wanted to bring that up.
"I... I missed you... and Sakurai-kun... please forgive me... Jiro-kun-" Sho interrupted me with a soft laugh.
"Mina-chan... it was a total misunderstanding, Jiro-kun apologized and explained what happened. It’s over now." Sho said quietly with a smile. I nodded slowly and fell silent.
"I’m sorry..." I whispered. My apology must’ve sounded monotonous because Sho tilted his head lower to try and see my downcast eyes.
"Minako... what’s wrong?" Sho asked seriously. Could I really tell him what I needed to do?
"Sakurai-kun... I’m not decided. And it’s not fair to you..." I said slowly, fighting back tears. Sho looked down at me, his face pulled into worry.
"Mina-chan..." he whispered. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, he’d just break my heart even more. One of his hands touched my face, just as Jun’s had minutes before. My lip trembled and I couldn’t hold back any more. Tears spilled down my face, mixing with the rain that had soaked me. Sho’s soft lips brushed mine for the slightest moment before I turned my head away. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes.
"I... I’m going to quit..." I whispered as tears flowed freely down my cheeks.
Chapter 18
"What?" Sho asked, his voice breaking slightly. I sobbed quietly a few times then looked back up to Sho. Nothing I had ever experienced pained me more than the look on Sho’s face. He was so worried, so sad... what would happen if I left him now? Why hadn’t I cried like this when Jun left me? Why was this parting so much more difficult? I didn’t want to leave behind his touch, his scent, his comfort...
"J- Jun’s not going to let me go, Sakurai-kun." I managed to say louder than a whisper. Sho’s worried expression softened and he took my hand gently.
"What makes you think that I can?" he asked softly, looking into my eyes. What did Aya-san tell me... you can’t be happy when you choose something you don’t want? Something like that, right? Sho leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose. I managed a smile and gazed into Sho’s eyes.
"I don’t want to be a problem..." I whispered. Sho smirked and suddenly dropped the umbrella, causing both of us to get soaked in the pouring rain.
"A little late for that, ne?" he whispered back, holding my face in his hands. His lips gently traced the curves of my lips.
"What about Jun?" I asked with a slight frown. I felt Sho’s lips turn into a slight smile as he brushed my cheek.
"He’ll understand." Sho whispered in my ear. I wanted nothing more than this for four years. His touch that I longed for was finally mine. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.
"I’ve only got raspberry tea, is that okay?" I asked Sho as I put my tea kettle on the stove. "Yes, yes... that’s fine." Sho answered from the bathroom as he dried his hair with a towel. As much as I liked standing in the rain with Sho, we both needed to be back at the Dome early in the morning. He had a photo shoot and interview of some kind and I had to finish some costume business. Luckily, Sho had brought his luggage so he had something dry to wear. Since my apartment was closer, we both decided it would be best to go and dry off. The kettle hissed with steam and I slowly poured two cups of tea before setting them on my coffee table.
I jumped on my couch and snuggled under a blanket I had gotten out earlier. Sho came out of my bathroom and joined me moments later. Trying not to burn myself with the tea, I took tiny and cautious sips. Sho sat close to me, sipping his tea quickly.
"Sakurai-kun...?"
"Hm?"
"Do you... really want to do this?" I asked nervously. Sho scowled at me over the teacup.
"Mina-chan, you know what I think..." Sho said quietly as he leaned towards me.
"Keeping it secret?" I asked, Sho nodding rapidly before I even finished.
"Just me and you... and Aiba-chan." Sho added with a laugh. I smiled and put down my teacup softly.
"I don’t think I could ask for more." I whispered with a happy smile. Sho smiled and leaned over, kissing my lips gently. His arms wrapped around my waist and slowly we laid on the couch. He softly kissed along my jaw and down my neck to my collar bone, then back to my lips again. I still couldn’t believe how gentle he was when he touched me. Everything about him was so soothing to me. As much as I wanted this to continue, I had to stop him once I felt his hands slide up my shirt.
"Sakurai-kun?"
"Hm?"
"We’ve got to get up early tomorrow... I don’t think..." I opened one eye to see Sho above me, looking like he was going to either going to cry or laugh. I sat up, laughing softly and put my arms around his neck.
"Sorry..." I said softly. Sho put his head on my shoulder and began to laugh weakly.
"You could have told me sooner." he mumbled in annoyance. I laughed softly again and laid back down with Sho next to me, his arms around my waist.
"I set the alarm..." I muttered as I reached over to the couch lamp and flicked it off.
"You sound like we’re married..." Sho muttered back. I rolled my eyes and sighed.
"Good night..." I whispered as I closed my eyes.
"Night, Mina-chan." Sho mumbled into my ear. We fell asleep shortly after that with the help of the rain sprinkling the windows softly.
Waking up with Sho the next morning was like a dream. In fact, everything with Sho was like a dream. I looked next to me and smiled. He was so peaceful...
"So we’re just going to lie?" I asked Sho as we walked down the sidewalk under our umbrellas. Sho cast an irritated glance at me, this was about the fifth time I asked him.
"We’re going to... morph the truth." he replied, grabbing my hand as we trotted across the street, trying to avoid the puddles. This was basically our conversation for the morning and I could tell Sho didn’t want to talk about it anymore.
"What about Aiba-kun?" I asked curiously.
"I called him this morning while you were showering." Sho answered with no hesitation. A nervous silence came between us as we neared the Dome. I found it very interesting how the dreary weather matched my current emotion. As we came closer to the Dome, Sho stopped me and gently kissed me once. From this spot on, we were friends and nothing more.
"I’ll see you tonight." he whispered softly before slowly continuing on to the Dome by himself. I watched him walk away from me. This whole thing was so stupid. Why did we have to hide everything?
I wanted to walk into that building with his hand in mine and not have any cares about what other people thought. But... it was harder than that, huh? If I did that... there would be consequences.
A reaction that could break everyone apart.
I knew what I wanted to do. I knew what I had to do. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, building up the courage I needed to go through with it. I saw Sho standing inside the building, greeting our colleagues like nothing had changed. My turn had come and I walked steadily through the rain towards the Dome.
Chapter 19 FINAL
Aya remained silent as she peered over her glasses at me.
"Resigning?" she said in a confirming tone. I nodded once, keeping my eyes to the ground and wringing my hands in my lap. I was quitting my job. Being with Arashi almost everyday for the past five years had been the most amazing time of my life... but with the steps Sho and I were taking, it was best if I stepped back for awhile. And then there was the issue with Jun... nothing could solve that problem but me, and I think getting away from him was the best solution. Even then, I was certain there would be times when we would run into each other at parties and such...
"Yes... What you told me yesterday... about being indecisive. All of it was true." I said quietly. Being the only two in our staff room, the silence was heavy and thick. Aya leaned back in her chair and sighed.
"Minako... are you sure? I did tell you to be decisive but are you sure you’re not going to leave anyone behind?" she asked quietly. I met her eyes and smiled, she wasn’t prying for an answer of who I chose... for that I was thankful.
"No... I think... I know, I’ve got every thing I could need." I said firmly. Aya-san studied me momentarily then rose from her chair and went over to her purse. I looked over to her curiously as she dug out a folded piece of paper. Returning to me, she held it out.
"My sister. She owns a local modeling studio not far from here... she needs a new Wardrobe Manager. I thought you’d be interested." Aya said as I unfolded it and read the address.
"Matsuda Ayeka-san..." I whispered to myself. I stood up and bowed deeply to Aya-san. "Thank you... for everything, Aya-san." I thanked her gratefully. I had some tears in my eyes as I straightened up again and looked at Aya. She had her arms crossed and a smile on her face.
"Minako-chan... good luck, okay?" she said with a bow of her head. I thanked her once again before she dismissed me for the last time. I was eternally grateful to Aya-san. She had opened my eyes to the danger I unknowingly put my friends in and she had also found me another job. Placing the paper in my back pocket, I made my way to the costume room to say my good-byes to Sato-san and my two assistants. Well, they were Aya and Sato-san’s assistants now. After a quick farewell, I dropped by Arashi’s dressing room and found Nino and Ohno. Nino was playing his DS like usual and Ohno seemed to be taking a nap next to him.
"Ninomiya-kun?" I said quietly as I walked in. Nino looked up and smiled, pressing pause on his game as I sat down next to him.
"Going home already?" he asked, tracing a line down his neck were my ID would usually be hanging. I smiled sadly and quietly cleared my throat.
"Actually... I resigned..." I said softly. Nino’s eyebrows rose up and looked at me like I was joking.
"Eh? Seriously?" he asked in shock. I nodded my head once and Nino reached over and smacked Ohno’s leg.
"Oi! Oh-chan!" Nino said loudly. Ohno opened his eyes slowly and grunted something about a "stupid video game". He turned over to sleep again, but Nino shook him harder. "Minako is leaving!" he said loudly again. I laughed quietly with tears brimming my eyes, I would miss being with these guys. Ohno turned over and sat up, looking at me with his eyes half closed.
"What?" he asked sleepily. I told him the same thing as Nino and it seemed to wake him up a little more.
"Why?" he asked quietly. I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced a smile.
"Just a scenery change... Ohno-kun." I answered happily. Ohno nodded silently and Nino smiled.
"We’ll see you around. I doubt Aiba-chan would let you go that easily." Nino said as he picked up his game again. We said good-bye and I exited from the room into the hall.
"Oh! Mina-chan!" I heard Aiba’s voice call. I turned around and saw him running towards me cheerfully, leaving behind Sho and Jun. Aiba caught me in a hug and quietly congratulated me for my reunion with Sho.
"You’re leaving?" Jun asked as he and Sho finally caught up. I looked at the three eager faces and wondered how I could break the news. Sho noticed my expression right away and he suddenly became uncomfortable.
"I’ve... I’ve actually... I quit." I stammered quietly.
"Eh!?" both Jun and Aiba exclaimed. Sho scowled at me as I looked at him.
"Minako! Why?" Aiba asked sadly. I narrowed my eyes at him and fortunately he seemed to understand.
"It’s just... time to go. A change of scenery... and Aya-san has a job set for me already... I’ll be okay. It’s not like we won’t ever see each other." I said quickly for Aiba’s sake as he started to get teary eyed. It seemed silly to me for him to be crying, since I knew he’d be calling me tonight and visiting me like crazy. Sho’s scowl had vanished at the mention of another job, my guess was that he was relieved I wouldn’t be jobless. Jun, however, looked slightly distressed.
"We’ll visit, right? We don’t want to lose touch." Jun asked in a soft voice that wasn’t his. I smiled and nodded.
"I’m sure they won’t mind, Jun." I said happily. I rubbed Aiba’s arm in comfort as he fought his sudden depression and Jun looked to the floor silently. While he was looking away, mine and Sho’s eyes met, his expression melancholy but understanding. I’d tell him more details when he visited me tonight.
"I already saw Nino and Ohno... so... I think I should be going. I have to call Aya-san’s sister." I announced to the three in front of me. They nodded slowly and mumbled good-byes. As I turned, Jun stepped towards me and caught my hand. I faced him, waiting for what he wanted to say.
Glancing over his shoulder, I saw the anxious face of Aiba and the slightly jealous face of Sho. Aiba whispered something to Sho eagerly, in fear he might get angry or something. But Sho just nodded quietly, crossed his arms and tried to ignore the fact that Jun wasn’t letting go of my hand.
"Minako-chan... please don’t lose contact." Jun said almost pleadingly, his brows drawn together in worry. I smiled sadly at him.
"I promise." I said sincerely. Jun swallowed nervously and after a few more moments, finally let go of my hand with a slight nod. With one glance at a slightly eased Sho and a still nervous Aiba, I turned around and started walking to the doors.
"Bye, Mina-chan." Jun called after me. I held up my hand and waved slightly. My mind was buzzing with a sudden clash of emotion as I tried to ignore the lingering touch of Jun. I knew what my heart wanted, and that’s all that mattered.
As much as I wanted to stay with my boys and laugh about the stupid things we’ve done, the memories we’ve shared, but in love situations like this... sometimes... it’s better to just walk away.
"Even if we can’t say it that doesn’t matter
Aren’t we no match for the power to love
If you turn your eyes to your heart
Yes, that’s our shortcut
Exposing our honest selves
I won’t give up on loving you
It continues to begin in those dreams
Little by little I want to get closer"
~ Arashi "Love Situation"
End
"AH! AH! I KNEW IT!" someone had yelled at the top of their lungs. Sho and I both jumped ten feet in the air and whirled around towards the door. Only one person could be so stupidly excited over this. Aiba was standing at the door looking so happy that I thought he might literally explode or faint... I was leaning towards explosion.
"Aiba!" Sho exclaimed, his eyes wide and looking totally shocked. My heart was racing so fast I thought I was going to die. I clutched at my chest and glared at Aiba.
"Did you seriously have to scream?" I said, resting my head on the top of the couch. Aiba trotted up to Sho and tackled him in a bone crushing hug.
"I was right!" he said yet again, bouncing slightly to the side and pointing at us excitedly. Sho and I grabbed him and pulled him onto the couch. He looked at us with a crazed smile.
"Aiba-chan! Listen! No one can know right now, okay? No one." Sho said slowly and threateningly. I nodded heartily in agreement. Aiba suddenly looked worried as he darted his eyes from me to Sho.
"No one? Not even-"
"No one." Sho repeated himself. Aiba nodded slowly as if he was thinking, then it turned into a rapid nod.
"Okay! I understand!" he said excitedly with his dorky smile. Sho and I leaned back against the couch and sighed a loud relief. But Aiba was still staring at us, grinning ear to ear.
"Aiba, what...?" Sho started to ask, his face concerned.
"I’m just so happy!" Aiba exclaimed again as he flung himself over Sho to hug me.
"Who does that!? Seriously!?" Sho gasped as he tried to wiggle out from under Aiba. Sho managed to squeeze himself from under Aiba and onto the floor, and Aiba cuddled up to me with his overexcited hug. Sho picked up his lunch and stood behind the couch, eating it silently while Aiba blabbed about how happy he was. Aiba then sat up on his knees and bounced on the couch like a little kid.
"Sho-chan! Can you kiss her?" Aiba asked enthusiastically. Just as Sho smacked Aiba on top of the head, the rest of the members came bustling in with my two trainees, Aya-san and Sato-san herding them along.
"All right, boys, your break has been long enough! Time to suit up." Aya said loudly while clapping her hands. I jumped up from the couch and glanced at Sho, who met eyes with me for a second before walking to the trash can to throw away his food. We both knew we had to hide our feelings now, just like nothing had happened.
I took my place next to Aya-san and Sato-san and began to help them hand out the costumes. Aiba practically pranced over to us, causing Nino and Ohno to look at him like he had finally gone crazy. While Aya-san and Sato-san helped them into their costumes, I moved over to the second rack to hang up extra costume parts and grab Aiba’s spare jacket. As I turned around I ran straight into Jun.
"J- Jun..." I whispered as I bowed slightly. I looked up at him and he was looking back at me. I could tell he had finally calmed down by the softer look in his eye.
"I wanted to... apologize for earlier." he said quietly like he didn’t want to be overheard. My eyes darted across the room where Sho was getting dressed in front of the mirror, his curious eyes focused on Jun and I.
Looking back to Jun, I smiled at him.
"It’s fine, Jun... though... you may want to be apologizing to Sakurai-san. I heard about the argument you two had." I said pointing over to Sho. Jun shifted his weight uncomfortably and looked back to me.
"Fine." he mumbled as he turned away and stalked over to Sho. I tried to mind my own business while the two talked, but my curiosity was stronger this time, making me ruffle through the costume rack nearest to them for several minutes.
"Minako? What are you doing?" Sato-san asked me, eyeing me over her glasses.
"Looking for Ohno-san’s jacket and- oh! Look, he already has it!" feeling Sato-san’s disapproving stare, I quickly excused myself to help Aiba with his costume. He didn’t really need help, but I had to occupy myself with something.
"I’m going to ask Sho-chan if he wants to get ramen after the concert for celebration! Do you want to come?" Aiba asked in an excited whisper as I came near him. I was about to say yes, but I suddenly remembered what I promised Jiro.
"I can’t Aiba-kun... I’ve already made plans." I said sadly as I made sure his microphone was attached properly. Aiba looked slightly disappointed but he smiled anyway.
"I told Jun to make up with Sho." I whispered to Aiba, nodding my head towards the two, now laughing like nothing had happened. Aiba grinned even more as his easily excited energy flowed through him. Soon enough, the director and his staff appeared, calling for the boys to be backstage. So, as the usual routine, Aya-san, Sato-san, my assistants and myself lined up by the door and wished them good luck as they filed out into the hall. My two elders and my two assistants followed them backstage while I stayed behind to reorganize everything before the next costume change. In a matter of minutes, the once noisy hallway had become silent and empty. While humming quietly to myself, I heard trotting footsteps coming down the hall towards the dressing room. Thinking it was either one of my assistants or another staff member that forgot something, I walked over to the door and peeked out.
"Sakurai-kun?" I said in surprise as he was coming my way. I stepped out into the hall and met him halfway. He smiled weakly, then looked up and down the hall before he suddenly, and swiftly, kissed me once again.
"Sorry..." he whispered as he kept our faces nearly touching. I smiled lightly and switched my glance from his soft lips to his eyes.
"You have a concert..." I said softly. Sho smirked and slowly drew away, our hands still linked. When our arms couldn’t stretch any further, we reluctantly let go of each other’s hand.
I waved a silent good-bye as Sho trotted back to the backstage, he looked back once with his beautiful smile, then turned around the corner and out of sight. I stood in the hallway alone, my trembling arms crossed over my chest and my heart light and fluttery as ever.
How I got into this situation was simply amazing to me. I laughed quietly to myself and sighed. I don’t think I could have been anymore happy than this moment.
Chapter 14
The evening concert went so much faster than they usually do. At least to me it did, but that was probably because of my airy-minded state. While the boys were doing their first encore, I approached Aya to ask if I could take off early.
"Take off early? Do you have a date, Minako?" she asked me sternly.
"Er... Not exactly, more like an outing." I said truthfully. Aya-san studied me over her glasses for a moment, then sighed deeply.
"You’ve worked hard today, go on." she said with a sweep of her hand. I bowed deeply and thanked her, then rushed to the staff room. Being in Tokyo was much easier for most of the people who had a part in this concert tour, mainly because it was close to home. I was no exception, my apartment complex was just a few miles from the Dome and I couldn’t wait to sleep in my own bed again.
I grabbed my bag and stuffed away my ID lanyard. I wanted to see Sho again before I left, but I knew he would get out much later than me. So I walked down the hall and out the exit doors were Jiro said to meet him. To my surprise, he was already outside, leaning up against the wall with a hat pulled over his eyes. He looked over with a bright smile and waved happily.
"You got off early! Should we go?" he asked excitedly.
"Where are we going again?" I asked as we walked out into the dark sidewalk.
"It’s a new arcade just a few blocks from here. It’s supposed to have karaoke booths, those big, old school video games and I think even Pachinko." Jiro named off other games that were there and I instantly reminded of Nino. The arcade was fairly close to my apartment, which was perfect if I ever got bored at home.
As I was with Jiro, the adoration I mentioned before seemed like nothing to me now. Maybe if I had been his age again, I would have seen him in a different light. But now, he was just a very, very adorable friend.
"You can’t choose that song again!" Jiro exclaimed as he tried to grab at my microphone. I jumped away from him and started to sing even though I was laughing too hard. We were in one of the karaoke booths in the arcade about an hour later, singing all different songs. Jiro’s voice was absolutely gorgeous, but he purposely made up stupid dances to go along with them.
I never really liked to sing, so I stuck with one song about four times, each time getting a higher score. Of course, Jiro claimed I was cheating and tried to change songs while I wasn’t paying attention.
"Ah! See? You made me laugh, now I got a twelve!" I said as I fell back into my chair. Jiro flipped through the book trying to find a song, but closed it sharply after a few minutes.
"Want to get ice cream?" he asked suddenly. I glanced at my watch, it was already nearing midnight and I doubted any ice cream places would be open. But I accepted anyway, and we were on our way.
Just as I thought, we found no ice cream near us, so we decided to call it a night. We walked slowly side by side, talking about the concert tour and what Jiro wanted to do besides being in Johnny’s.
"To tell the truth... I’ve been thinking about quitting." he said with a sigh and looking up at the dark sky. I was surprised, this was the first time I’ve heard Jiro say anything about quitting.
"Seriously? Why do you want to do that?" I asked curiously.
"I think... it’s not what I want to do. It’s because I have to quit." Jiro said quietly. It was a very vague answer, so I asked him more.
"You have to? Why?"
"Because of you." he stated quickly. We both stopped on the sidewalk, traffic buzzing by us and little restaurants next to us alive with voices.
"Me?" I wasn’t sure if this was a good reason or a bad reason... was he mad at me? The brim of his hat covered his expression, so I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Our silence was tense and shaky.
"Did I do something? You can tell-" I was cut off suddenly when Jiro abruptly kissed me. Once I knew what was happening, I pushed him away roughly.
"What are you doing!?" I exclaimed weakly, still trying to comprehend what just happened.
"Sho-chan! Wait! Sho!" someone was yelling behind us. Jiro and I turned around, and in my horror, I saw Aiba standing out on the sidewalk in front of a ramen shop. He had his back to us and further up the sidewalk was Sho, walking away and not looking back. I knew in an instant what had happened.
"Aiba-kun!" I yelled as I ran up to him, my heart about to explode. Aiba turned to me with a terrified expression... it was confirmed... Sho had seen what Jiro had done. Usually my temper was very well controlled but in this situation, it was different. I faced Jiro, who was frozen in his spot and had absolutely no idea what was going on.
"Why did you do that!?" I yelled furiously. I felt Aiba grab my shoulders as I tried to approach Jiro, and that’s when I broke down. Turning into Aiba’s chest, tears flooded my vision as I began to sob. Aiba was probably startled and the only thing he could do was wrap his arms around me.
"Jiro-kun... it’s okay, you can go." I heard Aiba say gently to Jiro as he cautiously walked towards us. He was most likely frightened at what had happened so suddenly. I heard Jiro mumbled something to Aiba, Aiba nodded and then I heard Jiro’s footsteps fading away. "Minako... your place is near here, right?" Aiba whispered. I nodded and looked up at him.
"I can go myself." I said tearfully. But Aiba didn’t let me go.
"Mina-chan! I can’t let you go alone." he softly exclaimed, shocked that I would even think about going alone. His words made me cry even harder and his hug tightened. If it wasn’t for Aiba at that moment, I think I would have been completely lost. My world had shattered in front of my eyes and no one was to blame but me. Somewhere I knew that Jiro had liked me more than just a mentor, but I never cared to listen to it. Had I not given in to his plea, I could be with Aiba and Sho at this moment, eating our fill of cheap ramen and sake. And now that simple thought was once again unreachable. In Sho’s mind, I was a liar and a cheater.
Aiba wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we began to walk slowly towards my apartment. Several times he kissed the top of my head, telling me everything would be okay... and I wanted to believe him... but the future was dark to me now.
Chapter 15
I don’t know how we made it to my apartment, seeing as I was in no place to care where I was going and Aiba being... Aiba. But we found it, and being home was somewhat soothing. I walked numbly to the couch, dropping my purse to the floor as I went. Collapsing on the couch, my tears didn’t stop. Aiba only turned on one lamp in the living room and joined me on the couch. Holding me tightly once again, he slowly rocked side to side and I think even he started to cry just a bit. It was strangely relaxing being held by Aiba... knowing I had a friend that would be here, no matter what happened.
I woke up soon after, not even remembering when I feel asleep. I was laying against the armrest and Aiba was leaning against me, his arms still around my shoulders and fast asleep. I looked over to the clock hanging in the kitchen, it was only 5 in the morning. My eyes felt dry and puffy and the urge to cry had disappeared. I thought about waking up Aiba, but I left him sleeping. He was probably exhausted. My mind wandered to last night and how I yelled at Jiro. I honestly felt guilty. He didn’t know there was anything between Sho and I, he was just a kid with a crush. Our conversation when we were in the sound staff’s room crossed my mind... there was no girl at school... I was the girl he was asking about.
"Minako?" Aiba’s sleepy voice broke me from my thoughts. I looked over to him and smiled slightly.
"Morning..." I said sleepily. Aiba sat up and stretched, rubbing his eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked groggily. I shrugged. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t sad and I wasn’t angry... I was basically a shell.
"What happened last night?" I asked quietly. Aiba yawned and leaned against me again.
"Hm... Sho-chan and I went to get ramen... he saw you two from the window and just walked out." Aiba said softly, closing his eyes again. My throat suddenly became tight as I imagined how hurt Sho must’ve been.
"I never imagined..." I tried to explain how unreal this all was, but unexpected tears rushed to my eyes again. Aiba hugged me again, patting one side of my head like I was a little kid.
"Jiro-kun didn’t know, Minako... we’ll get this straightened out, okay?" Aiba said gently, adding the "okay" in English. I wiped my eyes and smiled at him.
"Thank you, Aiba-kun." I mumbled before I started crying again.
I was glad Aiba had stayed the night with me. He even fixed us both breakfast after my crying session. Sure it was only rice and eggs, but it cheered me up enough to laugh with him. After our very early breakfast, I went to take a bath and Aiba wanted to watch something on the television. I’m very sorry to say that this bath was anything but relaxing. I kept slipping into daydreams about how perfect everything seemed to be yesterday and then how it just shattered in a matter of minutes. I began to cry again and decided to just give up the bath. I walked out of the bathroom and into my bedroom to get dressed. Even though my door was closed, I could hear Aiba talking to someone quietly. I pressed my ear to the door and listened quietly.
"...Jiro-kun didn’t know, Sho-chan... of course not... well she didn’t expect it either... yes... yeah... Sho-chan... ahhh..." I heard Aiba close his phone and curse under his breath. I bit my lip to try and keep the tears back, whatever that conversation was, it didn’t sound productive. I ignored looking into the mirror while I dressed, I knew I was a mess and fixing it would be pointless today.
"Minako, he didn’t sound happy." Aiba said as we walked slowly down the sidewalk. The both of us had to be at the Dome by 7:30 and we had about an hour to spare to walk as slow as we wanted.
"Of course he’s not happy..." I mumbled. I stared at the ground most of the time we were walking, Aiba taking my hand to guide me as we crossed the street. He tried to talk about something else, I think it was about the weather, but I didn’t hear anything he said. Aiba fell silent again and didn’t say anything until we reached the entrance for the Dome.
"Will you be okay?" he asked me before he opened the door. I swallowed nervously and nodded. Aiba opened the door slowly and let me in first. I don’t remember ever being this down at work and almost everyone noticed. They greeted me with friendly good mornings, but I simply bowed my head because I felt that if I opened my mouth, I would start crying again.
Aiba guided me to my staff room, his hand on the small of my back. When I managed to pass everyone and their curious stares, we entered my room quietly. Aya-san and Sato-san were in their usual place, eating breakfast and loudly gossiping. Aiba greeted them cheerfully.
"Good morning." he said with a low bow. The two women paused their gossiping and greeted Aiba. Aya looked worriedly at my pathetic face as I passed her to set down my bag on the far table.
"Umm, Aya-san...?" Aiba made a motion for her to come over to him. I watched as Aiba and Aya whispered in the doorway for a moment, Aya nodding her head in understanding. Aiba looked over to me and waved before he took off up the hall. Aya-san walked back over to Sato-san and whispered something to her. I turned away at this point, I felt so embarrassed that everyone was making such a big deal because of my mood. As I opened my bag to search for my ID, Sato-san bid good-bye to Aya-san and left the room swiftly, closing the door behind her. I suddenly felt uncomfortable with just Aya and me in the quiet room.
"Minako-chan... did you really lose your dog?" Aya-san asked quietly. I turned around in confusion when she asked this. Dog? I didn’t have a dog. Then I understood what Aiba was doing and I couldn’t help but to smile at his horrible attempt to cover me.
"Is that what Aiba-san said? No, Aya-san..." I said quietly, shaking my head slowly.
"Sit, Minako." Aya said roughly. I immediately obeyed and sat across from Aya, who was looking at me deeply.
"Sakamoto-kun is in the same mood as you today. Don’t sit here and tell me nothing happened. I have been in the same position as you and I have no intention to report you. You kids will be kids, and we can’t stop that." Aya said firmly as she crossed her legs and waited for me to reply. I wanted to trust her and tell her everything but I was scared. I bit my lip and looked down at my folded hands as I felt more tears coming on.
"Minako... as your boss, I really wish you could trust me." Aya said in such a motherly voice I had never heard from her. I really didn’t have a choice. She was bound to get the information from me one way or the other. I nodded and took a deep and quivery breath.
"I... I think... I’m in the same situation as you were in, Aya-san. But... it’s not just with Jiro-kun... it’s with two more." I said slowly, watching her reaction cautiously. Aya settled back in her chair and gazed at me intently, waiting for who the other two were. I wiped the stray tears from my face and closed my eyes.
"Matsumoto Jun... and Sakurai Sho."
Chapter 16
If there was a time in my life where I had to spill out my heart, this would top it. I told Aya everything from start to end, from five years ago when I first set eyes on Jun to yesterday afternoon in the Dome with Sho and finally to last night. She didn’t say anything while I spoke, she just sat listening to me and everything I had to say. I didn’t cry as much as I thought I would, which was okay with me. When I finished my story, Aya smiled at me and took my hand gently.
"Minako... your situation beats mine by far." she said softly. I wasn’t quite sure how to react so I remained silent.
"Now... what you need to do is to decide. Being indecisive is your own downfall. Don’t go running into anyone’s open arms."
"Be decisive? How...?" I was slightly confused by what she meant.
"You have your mind set on Sakamoto-kun, he will remain a good friend. What you need is to look at the other two, your past and your present. Who, if any, will be your future?" Aya said, letting go of my hand and still looking intently at my slightly dumbfounded face. I will never understand how Aya can go from the bitchy perfectionist to the wise and gentle philosopher.
My future? I’ve never even thought about my future seriously before. If anything, I was more confused now and Aya seemed to see it.
"If I were you, Minako, I would quit." she said suddenly. I looked at her shocked.
"Quit?" I asked in a whisper. She nodded her head.
"Think of what you’re doing now. Undecided girl is dating one member, while on the other hand, is pining for another. You’ll cause a breakup." Aya said firmly. Was this her way of watching me suffer? I never realized how I managed to get the band’s future in my hands. I laid my head on the table in my arms and began to cry again. The sudden realization of pressure was too much. Aya touched my back comfortably as she stood up.
"I’ll leave you alone for a moment... but be in the dressing room in an hour. We’ve got repairs and packing to start." I nodded and listened to Aya leave the room and close the door behind her. Quit? How could I even begin to think about that? I loved being here more than anything, it was my life.
Trying to calm myself down, I paced the room with my arms crossed, thinking over everything Aya had told me. I had finally stopped crying because I had much more important things to think over. Jun and I were over, he knew that and I knew that. But that didn’t mean our feelings had stopped. I finally understood what Aya had said about me being indecisive. There was something missing between Jun and I... something that didn’t block me from falling back into his arms. The problem was that I didn’t know what it was... or if I was even right in thinking that. Then there was Sho. I knew for a fact that Sho had all of my heart... but my mind was longing for Jun. I dug my fingers into my hair in frustration and grumbled to myself.
An hour passed quickly and I found myself walking the halls once again. Even though I looked like a zombie walking like I was, I never felt so awake. Aya had gotten my mind into overdrive. When I showed up in the dressing room, Aya-san didn’t treat me any differently than before. I actually think she gave me more work to do, but her timing couldn’t have been better. She had given me a pile of costumes to bring to the spare room about five minutes before the boys needed to get dressed for their afternoon concert. I happily took the job and was planning to take as long as I could to return.
Flicking on the light in the spare room, I set the pile on one of the nearby tables and went to work putting hangers on them. It soon became a dull routine and I was having trouble making time go quickly. I looked at the clock behind me and saw that the concert had started almost ten minutes ago. I was safe for another two hours. Unfortunately, Aya kept me stupidly busy through those two hours having me do pointless tasks making the two hours go faster than I wanted them to. It quickly became lunch time and I found myself alone in our staff room picking absentmindedly at my lunch. I don’t know what I would do if I ran into any of the members, so I decided to isolate myself until I knew what would happen.
"Minako-san?" it was a voice I knew all too well. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Jiro standing timidly in the doorway. I turned around silently like I hadn’t seen him... he was the last person I wanted to see. I heard him walk into the room and then a sudden thud behind me caught my attention. I whirled around and saw Jiro sitting on the floor, bent over in a bow. I was shocked.
"What are you doing? Don’t bow like that to me! People are going to see you!" I whispered anxiously, my eyes darting to the hallway. Jiro slowly sat up and looked up at me with watering eyes.
"I’m so, so sorry... Minako-san... forgive me for last night." he said miserably. Pity overflowed my anger and I nodded slowly.
"It’s okay, Jiro-kun..." I mumbled as I turned back to my lunch. I blinked away tears as Jiro remained sitting on the floor, sniffling quietly.
"I... I spoke to Sakurai-san... forgive me, Minako-san, if I had known about y- you and Sakurai-san... I never would have done-"
"Jiro-kun? You spoke to him?" I interrupted suddenly, joining Jiro on the floor. Looking startled at my sudden action, Jiro nodded and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
"Yes... I’ve decided to quit." Jiro said quietly, looking down at the floor.
"I... I was going to quit for you, actually... so you wouldn’t get into trouble, if we had somehow worked out..." he continued on softly. Several uncontrollable tears rolled down my face as I realized how caring he was.
"I’m sorry, Jiro-kun..." I mumbled. Jiro shook his head and smiled weakly at me.
"He really likes you, Minako-san..." he said suddenly cheerful. I smiled and wiped some tears away. Jiro and I talked some more about why he wanted to quit and there was more reason behind it than just me. His father and grandfather owned a fishing business in Hokkaido and wanted to help them with the business. He also told me that being a Johnny’s idol wasn’t what he really wanted to do, he actually wanted to start a business of his own. When I asked him about what Sho had said, Jiro smiled proudly.
"At first he was pissed when I approached him... but Aiba-san was by my side and eased the tension between us. I explained everything to Sakurai-san and begged for his forgiveness... he supported me in my decision and forgave me." Jiro explained happily. I smiled to myself, I couldn’t imagine Sho doing anything else than what he did.
"And... he wants to see you, Minako-san... he tried to find you this morning but couldn’t." Jiro announced a little more excitedly than necessary. I felt my heart skip a beat and my mouth dropped open.
"Eh? He wants to see me?" I asked loudly. Jiro nodded once with a smile.
"At the end of the concert... and... he said something about meeting on a roof... but the Dome doesn’t have a roof we have access to, so I didn’t know what he was talking about... sorry." Jiro said with a frown and a slight bow. I was beaming with joy and I started to laugh. The moment had come that Aya was talking about. Jiro had made his decision and now it was my turn.
Chapter 17
I had asked Jiro to have lunch with me, but he refused, saying he had to go talk with the director about his decision. I wished him good luck and went back to my lunch. I was able to eat some of the bento now that I knew some things had been resolved in this mess. But I had to wonder what Sho was going to ask me. Granted he’d be pissed that I hadn’t told him about Jiro, but now that Jiro had seen him personally, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. My two trainees came in to join me a few moments later, talking about how hard it had started to rain. I thought this was a weird subject for them to be talking about, seeing that they were three years younger than me... shouldn’t they be talking about celebrities? As I listened to them, I felt a sudden pride that they were learning from me.
"Minako-san? When does the winter tour begin? I can never remember dates." one of them asked me softly.
"Oh, September... you should get a call in the middle of August." I replied with a smile. The girls thanked me and then asked me some advice on dating. I laughed to myself when they asked me. Should they really be depending on me for that information? Aya-san had told me what she had experienced and what she had learned... I guess it was my turn to pass it on. After lunch, Aya-san kept me on my toes running errands and preparing for the end of the concert when we had to pack every thing up into storage until we needed them again. As I passed the doors that lead outside, I saw that it was raining extremely hard and the dark clouds showed no signs of letting up. It suddenly put me in a dreary mood as I visited room after room, dropping off and picking up papers for Aya-san. I walked the halls by myself, listening to the muffled music of the concert and the cheering crowd. The thought of putting the band in danger rose in my mind again... I could never live with myself if that happened.
"Minako? Why are you standing there?" Sato-san’s voice asked. I shook myself out of my thoughts and found myself standing in the doorway of the dressing room.
"Ah, sorry..." I apologized shyly and came into the room to pass the collected papers to Aya-san.
Sho wanted to see me after the concert, so I ran everywhere trying to get Aya’s errands done and help pack at the same time, in hopes of getting done quickly. However, that wasn’t the case. By the time the concert had ended and most people had left, I still had a pile of papers that Aya told me to file before I left. I wasn’t the only one left in the building, the director and his staff were still running around and the cleaning crew were cleaning up the Dome. I looked at the clock anxiously, it was nearing 10:00, almost a full hour after the concert.
Grabbing the last stack of papers, I shoved them into a folder, locked the cabinet, grabbed my bag and rushed to backstage. I couldn’t miss Sho. I was in a panic as I pushed open the backstage door, startling some of the lighting crew. I took a moment to slow down and collect myself.
"What are you doing, Minako?" a sharp voice asked behind me. I looked behind me and saw Jun walking my way, his bag on his shoulder.
"Wha- What am I doing? What are you doing?" I replied through huffs of air. Jun raised his eyebrows at me and set down his bag before stepping unnecessarily close to me.
"...I’m not giving up so easily on you." he said sternly as he softly brushed my hair from my cheek. I forgot why I was in a rush as I stared memorized up at Jun.
"What? Why?" it was a stupid thing to ask, but it was the only thing I could think of. Jun picked up his bag again and smirked at me.
"Bye, Minako." he said slyly as he turned around, walked to the door and left. I stood stunned for a moment, wondering why the hell Jun waited to tell me that. I touched the spot he had touched on my face and shook my head, I needed to meet Sho! I trotted past the stage crew and up the side wings, finally finding the door. I tore open the door to the top row and ran out, gasping for air. My eyes darted around the seats, praying I would see him. No one. I yelled in frustration and bit my lip to fight back tears.
I had missed him.
Slowly I walked back through the stage and down the hall towards the exit doors. I was disappointed in myself, that I had allowed myself to miss Sho and for letting Jun get to me like he did. Aya was right, and I couldn’t deny it anymore. I was undecided and I was hurting more people than myself. I came to a stop in front of the doors. If it wasn’t for the lights of the city and traffic, the rain clouds would have made it pitch black. And it was raining hard. I sighed. I didn’t have my umbrella... I found it oddly suitable, considering my mood. So, I pushed open the doors and walked out into the pouring rain. I was almost soaked the moment I walked out in the open, but I hardly cared.
"Minako!" someone called. I looked back drowsily and saw someone running towards me with an umbrella. I blinked the rain from my eyes and looked again. It was Sho. The sight brought tears to my eyes. He hadn’t left after all. When he came close, he held the umbrella over us both and looked at me like I was crazy.
"What the hell are you doing?" he asked with a half smile. I blinked away my tears and looked up at him.
"I didn’t have my umbrella..." I said weakly. Sho shook his head and started to laugh, which I joined in too. What a lame excuse.
"They kicked me out of the Dome... they needed to clean. Where were you?" Sho asked. I looked up at him. Telling him I was delayed by work then by Jun? I hardly wanted to bring that up.
"I... I missed you... and Sakurai-kun... please forgive me... Jiro-kun-" Sho interrupted me with a soft laugh.
"Mina-chan... it was a total misunderstanding, Jiro-kun apologized and explained what happened. It’s over now." Sho said quietly with a smile. I nodded slowly and fell silent.
"I’m sorry..." I whispered. My apology must’ve sounded monotonous because Sho tilted his head lower to try and see my downcast eyes.
"Minako... what’s wrong?" Sho asked seriously. Could I really tell him what I needed to do?
"Sakurai-kun... I’m not decided. And it’s not fair to you..." I said slowly, fighting back tears. Sho looked down at me, his face pulled into worry.
"Mina-chan..." he whispered. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, he’d just break my heart even more. One of his hands touched my face, just as Jun’s had minutes before. My lip trembled and I couldn’t hold back any more. Tears spilled down my face, mixing with the rain that had soaked me. Sho’s soft lips brushed mine for the slightest moment before I turned my head away. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes.
"I... I’m going to quit..." I whispered as tears flowed freely down my cheeks.
Chapter 18
"What?" Sho asked, his voice breaking slightly. I sobbed quietly a few times then looked back up to Sho. Nothing I had ever experienced pained me more than the look on Sho’s face. He was so worried, so sad... what would happen if I left him now? Why hadn’t I cried like this when Jun left me? Why was this parting so much more difficult? I didn’t want to leave behind his touch, his scent, his comfort...
"J- Jun’s not going to let me go, Sakurai-kun." I managed to say louder than a whisper. Sho’s worried expression softened and he took my hand gently.
"What makes you think that I can?" he asked softly, looking into my eyes. What did Aya-san tell me... you can’t be happy when you choose something you don’t want? Something like that, right? Sho leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose. I managed a smile and gazed into Sho’s eyes.
"I don’t want to be a problem..." I whispered. Sho smirked and suddenly dropped the umbrella, causing both of us to get soaked in the pouring rain.
"A little late for that, ne?" he whispered back, holding my face in his hands. His lips gently traced the curves of my lips.
"What about Jun?" I asked with a slight frown. I felt Sho’s lips turn into a slight smile as he brushed my cheek.
"He’ll understand." Sho whispered in my ear. I wanted nothing more than this for four years. His touch that I longed for was finally mine. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.
"I’ve only got raspberry tea, is that okay?" I asked Sho as I put my tea kettle on the stove. "Yes, yes... that’s fine." Sho answered from the bathroom as he dried his hair with a towel. As much as I liked standing in the rain with Sho, we both needed to be back at the Dome early in the morning. He had a photo shoot and interview of some kind and I had to finish some costume business. Luckily, Sho had brought his luggage so he had something dry to wear. Since my apartment was closer, we both decided it would be best to go and dry off. The kettle hissed with steam and I slowly poured two cups of tea before setting them on my coffee table.
I jumped on my couch and snuggled under a blanket I had gotten out earlier. Sho came out of my bathroom and joined me moments later. Trying not to burn myself with the tea, I took tiny and cautious sips. Sho sat close to me, sipping his tea quickly.
"Sakurai-kun...?"
"Hm?"
"Do you... really want to do this?" I asked nervously. Sho scowled at me over the teacup.
"Mina-chan, you know what I think..." Sho said quietly as he leaned towards me.
"Keeping it secret?" I asked, Sho nodding rapidly before I even finished.
"Just me and you... and Aiba-chan." Sho added with a laugh. I smiled and put down my teacup softly.
"I don’t think I could ask for more." I whispered with a happy smile. Sho smiled and leaned over, kissing my lips gently. His arms wrapped around my waist and slowly we laid on the couch. He softly kissed along my jaw and down my neck to my collar bone, then back to my lips again. I still couldn’t believe how gentle he was when he touched me. Everything about him was so soothing to me. As much as I wanted this to continue, I had to stop him once I felt his hands slide up my shirt.
"Sakurai-kun?"
"Hm?"
"We’ve got to get up early tomorrow... I don’t think..." I opened one eye to see Sho above me, looking like he was going to either going to cry or laugh. I sat up, laughing softly and put my arms around his neck.
"Sorry..." I said softly. Sho put his head on my shoulder and began to laugh weakly.
"You could have told me sooner." he mumbled in annoyance. I laughed softly again and laid back down with Sho next to me, his arms around my waist.
"I set the alarm..." I muttered as I reached over to the couch lamp and flicked it off.
"You sound like we’re married..." Sho muttered back. I rolled my eyes and sighed.
"Good night..." I whispered as I closed my eyes.
"Night, Mina-chan." Sho mumbled into my ear. We fell asleep shortly after that with the help of the rain sprinkling the windows softly.
Waking up with Sho the next morning was like a dream. In fact, everything with Sho was like a dream. I looked next to me and smiled. He was so peaceful...
"So we’re just going to lie?" I asked Sho as we walked down the sidewalk under our umbrellas. Sho cast an irritated glance at me, this was about the fifth time I asked him.
"We’re going to... morph the truth." he replied, grabbing my hand as we trotted across the street, trying to avoid the puddles. This was basically our conversation for the morning and I could tell Sho didn’t want to talk about it anymore.
"What about Aiba-kun?" I asked curiously.
"I called him this morning while you were showering." Sho answered with no hesitation. A nervous silence came between us as we neared the Dome. I found it very interesting how the dreary weather matched my current emotion. As we came closer to the Dome, Sho stopped me and gently kissed me once. From this spot on, we were friends and nothing more.
"I’ll see you tonight." he whispered softly before slowly continuing on to the Dome by himself. I watched him walk away from me. This whole thing was so stupid. Why did we have to hide everything?
I wanted to walk into that building with his hand in mine and not have any cares about what other people thought. But... it was harder than that, huh? If I did that... there would be consequences.
A reaction that could break everyone apart.
I knew what I wanted to do. I knew what I had to do. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, building up the courage I needed to go through with it. I saw Sho standing inside the building, greeting our colleagues like nothing had changed. My turn had come and I walked steadily through the rain towards the Dome.
Chapter 19 FINAL
Aya remained silent as she peered over her glasses at me.
"Resigning?" she said in a confirming tone. I nodded once, keeping my eyes to the ground and wringing my hands in my lap. I was quitting my job. Being with Arashi almost everyday for the past five years had been the most amazing time of my life... but with the steps Sho and I were taking, it was best if I stepped back for awhile. And then there was the issue with Jun... nothing could solve that problem but me, and I think getting away from him was the best solution. Even then, I was certain there would be times when we would run into each other at parties and such...
"Yes... What you told me yesterday... about being indecisive. All of it was true." I said quietly. Being the only two in our staff room, the silence was heavy and thick. Aya leaned back in her chair and sighed.
"Minako... are you sure? I did tell you to be decisive but are you sure you’re not going to leave anyone behind?" she asked quietly. I met her eyes and smiled, she wasn’t prying for an answer of who I chose... for that I was thankful.
"No... I think... I know, I’ve got every thing I could need." I said firmly. Aya-san studied me momentarily then rose from her chair and went over to her purse. I looked over to her curiously as she dug out a folded piece of paper. Returning to me, she held it out.
"My sister. She owns a local modeling studio not far from here... she needs a new Wardrobe Manager. I thought you’d be interested." Aya said as I unfolded it and read the address.
"Matsuda Ayeka-san..." I whispered to myself. I stood up and bowed deeply to Aya-san. "Thank you... for everything, Aya-san." I thanked her gratefully. I had some tears in my eyes as I straightened up again and looked at Aya. She had her arms crossed and a smile on her face.
"Minako-chan... good luck, okay?" she said with a bow of her head. I thanked her once again before she dismissed me for the last time. I was eternally grateful to Aya-san. She had opened my eyes to the danger I unknowingly put my friends in and she had also found me another job. Placing the paper in my back pocket, I made my way to the costume room to say my good-byes to Sato-san and my two assistants. Well, they were Aya and Sato-san’s assistants now. After a quick farewell, I dropped by Arashi’s dressing room and found Nino and Ohno. Nino was playing his DS like usual and Ohno seemed to be taking a nap next to him.
"Ninomiya-kun?" I said quietly as I walked in. Nino looked up and smiled, pressing pause on his game as I sat down next to him.
"Going home already?" he asked, tracing a line down his neck were my ID would usually be hanging. I smiled sadly and quietly cleared my throat.
"Actually... I resigned..." I said softly. Nino’s eyebrows rose up and looked at me like I was joking.
"Eh? Seriously?" he asked in shock. I nodded my head once and Nino reached over and smacked Ohno’s leg.
"Oi! Oh-chan!" Nino said loudly. Ohno opened his eyes slowly and grunted something about a "stupid video game". He turned over to sleep again, but Nino shook him harder. "Minako is leaving!" he said loudly again. I laughed quietly with tears brimming my eyes, I would miss being with these guys. Ohno turned over and sat up, looking at me with his eyes half closed.
"What?" he asked sleepily. I told him the same thing as Nino and it seemed to wake him up a little more.
"Why?" he asked quietly. I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced a smile.
"Just a scenery change... Ohno-kun." I answered happily. Ohno nodded silently and Nino smiled.
"We’ll see you around. I doubt Aiba-chan would let you go that easily." Nino said as he picked up his game again. We said good-bye and I exited from the room into the hall.
"Oh! Mina-chan!" I heard Aiba’s voice call. I turned around and saw him running towards me cheerfully, leaving behind Sho and Jun. Aiba caught me in a hug and quietly congratulated me for my reunion with Sho.
"You’re leaving?" Jun asked as he and Sho finally caught up. I looked at the three eager faces and wondered how I could break the news. Sho noticed my expression right away and he suddenly became uncomfortable.
"I’ve... I’ve actually... I quit." I stammered quietly.
"Eh!?" both Jun and Aiba exclaimed. Sho scowled at me as I looked at him.
"Minako! Why?" Aiba asked sadly. I narrowed my eyes at him and fortunately he seemed to understand.
"It’s just... time to go. A change of scenery... and Aya-san has a job set for me already... I’ll be okay. It’s not like we won’t ever see each other." I said quickly for Aiba’s sake as he started to get teary eyed. It seemed silly to me for him to be crying, since I knew he’d be calling me tonight and visiting me like crazy. Sho’s scowl had vanished at the mention of another job, my guess was that he was relieved I wouldn’t be jobless. Jun, however, looked slightly distressed.
"We’ll visit, right? We don’t want to lose touch." Jun asked in a soft voice that wasn’t his. I smiled and nodded.
"I’m sure they won’t mind, Jun." I said happily. I rubbed Aiba’s arm in comfort as he fought his sudden depression and Jun looked to the floor silently. While he was looking away, mine and Sho’s eyes met, his expression melancholy but understanding. I’d tell him more details when he visited me tonight.
"I already saw Nino and Ohno... so... I think I should be going. I have to call Aya-san’s sister." I announced to the three in front of me. They nodded slowly and mumbled good-byes. As I turned, Jun stepped towards me and caught my hand. I faced him, waiting for what he wanted to say.
Glancing over his shoulder, I saw the anxious face of Aiba and the slightly jealous face of Sho. Aiba whispered something to Sho eagerly, in fear he might get angry or something. But Sho just nodded quietly, crossed his arms and tried to ignore the fact that Jun wasn’t letting go of my hand.
"Minako-chan... please don’t lose contact." Jun said almost pleadingly, his brows drawn together in worry. I smiled sadly at him.
"I promise." I said sincerely. Jun swallowed nervously and after a few more moments, finally let go of my hand with a slight nod. With one glance at a slightly eased Sho and a still nervous Aiba, I turned around and started walking to the doors.
"Bye, Mina-chan." Jun called after me. I held up my hand and waved slightly. My mind was buzzing with a sudden clash of emotion as I tried to ignore the lingering touch of Jun. I knew what my heart wanted, and that’s all that mattered.
As much as I wanted to stay with my boys and laugh about the stupid things we’ve done, the memories we’ve shared, but in love situations like this... sometimes... it’s better to just walk away.
"Even if we can’t say it that doesn’t matter
Aren’t we no match for the power to love
If you turn your eyes to your heart
Yes, that’s our shortcut
Exposing our honest selves
I won’t give up on loving you
It continues to begin in those dreams
Little by little I want to get closer"
~ Arashi "Love Situation"
End