Death Cab captured perfectly what I felt like when I said goodbye to my grandmother last month. I've listened to this song a couple times since I got the new cd, but never actually opened my ears to the words until tonight. And now I feel like they're reaching out to physically clutch me. We used to always do Thanksgiving at the beach with my ( Read more... )

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That's really all I have to say. Profoundly empty.

It is rare that I am just genuinely angry. I am so pissed off right now. About everything. Nothing has happened today that hasn't just enhanced my mood. I felt too crappy to go to school today, so I wasted it in bed, just like not-so-old times. When I got up, it was time to go to dinner. I was on my mom's bed, and my dad came in and told me ( Read more... )

I've been awake since about 1:30, and I woke up with a throbbing headache and covered in sweat from dreaming and tossing. I wound up talking to my dad until about 4. I brought up the reunion prospect, and he promptly destroyed any hope I had because it's so close to Christmas. He also noticed I had been at my wrist again, and so Jordan just came ( Read more... )

I'm home. Of course.

( First, getting the gloom out of the way. )

The statement still stands that I hurt. A lot. My feelings toward God are still the same. Take into consideration the phrase: "To ere is human, to forgive divine." I can accept other people's flaws and mistakes and forgive them for those. Because they are human. God being the divine, universal being--supposedly perfect, all-seeing and all- ( Read more... )

Or at least bittersweet. There is officially going to be an explo reunion in Boston at MIT over Christmas break. No date fixed yet, which means I don't dare launch the idea on my parents yet. Still, the idea makes my pulse race. I sent a message to Jordan to ask his thoughts, and his response ( Read more... )

I'm back to my good old steel self.