What. The. Crap. ?
Okay. (/beginrant)
Me and my parents' interaction has, of late, resorted to them saying "Alex go do this, then come see me." (I go do it, come back) "Now go do this, and come see me." So i have begun to occasionally, after the third or so task, just kind of wander to my room quietly, and then they forget usually that they even talked to me.
Then sometimes, if i'm lucky, after 30 minutes or so, the process starts over again. I realize i'm going to college, and that must be hard because i'm the only kid living with them... And i'm going out of state... But, come on, why deal with it by ruining our relationship before i leave?
As i finished typing that paragraph, my dad (playing a game in the other room [because he's too tired to help clean, but he'll make me do it til 1am, and then some more tomorrow]) yelled to me "What are you doing?" "responding to an email, then i'm going to clean room and bathroom" "okay, after that come see me. And if you get on the computer again i'm going to be really mad." -No joke, right after i typed what our relationship has resorted to, a perfect example.
The only time my parents appreciate/are proud of me is when i do something WORTH appreciation. I have to prove myself time and time again to have any sort of happy relationship at any given time. For instance, immediately after a performance, my parents are all smiles, and tell me how proud they are. 3 hours later, the aforementioned relationship ensues.
Come on, what the heck?! It's bad (with my self-confidence) when I am more proud of myself than my parents are. Come on! I think i've cleaned up this year! I was in both plays, think i did a pretty good job, i had an awesome date to prom [=)], i got into a production of Wizard of Oz at the FREAKING HERBERGER and i'm a lead role, i am singing the national anthem at graduation... GIVE ME SOME FREAKING LOVE... lol... If only i was laughing...
The only time they're proud of these accomplishments is when i initially tell them. That's why i don't even feel like telling them anything, lately. I mean hell, it better be pretty good if i'm going to waste their nagging time with it. Besides, whenever i tell my dad anything (read: try to) he's just doing something else and occasionally yells "Speak louder! I can't hear you" (who does that?) It's so freaking frustrating.
And i know, despite their temporary pride for each music/theatre-related accomplishment, they are not enthusiastic about me going to college for theatre. So i'm constantly knowing that in the background they're hoping i'll somehow fail, or change my mind, so i can be their social security. GAH!
I'm sorry i'm ranting so much- let me close in what started this rant in the first place.
Tonight was banquet. Banquet hadn't even started and my dad decided to ruin the night early. He walks up to me and says, "You aren't doing anything with your friends tonight. You didn't clean everything up in the house." Hello? I had to make my costume, and i was going to do it tonight (like i'm about to when i'm off of this lj crap) besides, i didn't even have enough time to begin with!
So then he tries to act cool in front of my friends, like he wasn't upset with me. He always puts on facades in front of my friends. I guess its better than him being a raging @!$ in FRONT of them. So that pissed me off and i basically walk away. Then we had the American Idol skit. It was AWESOME. I thought it was hilarious, and i- myself- got quite a few laughs, playing Simon. This was something worth of "appreciation," as my parents would deem so, i suppose, because afterwards they were happy again, and my dad tells me i can go with my friends.
On the way to my truck i see my OWN MOM badmouthing her OWN SON (cough, me) to HIS FRIENDS. I tried not to let that get to me much- cause, hey- i get to hang with my friends at least, right?
Wrong, we go to Anna's house, and after about 20 minutes, my dad calls and says (and i quote) "Where are you? Why aren't you home?" Wtf? So i had to come back home after being at her house for about 30 minutes. So i could clean.
Which brings me HERE. (/endrant)
Me and my parents' interaction has, of late, resorted to them saying "Alex go do this, then come see me." (I go do it, come back) "Now go do this, and come see me." So i have begun to occasionally, after the third or so task, just kind of wander to my room quietly, and then they forget usually that they even talked to me.
Then sometimes, if i'm lucky, after 30 minutes or so, the process starts over again. I realize i'm going to college, and that must be hard because i'm the only kid living with them... And i'm going out of state... But, come on, why deal with it by ruining our relationship before i leave?
As i finished typing that paragraph, my dad (playing a game in the other room [because he's too tired to help clean, but he'll make me do it til 1am, and then some more tomorrow]) yelled to me "What are you doing?" "responding to an email, then i'm going to clean room and bathroom" "okay, after that come see me. And if you get on the computer again i'm going to be really mad." -No joke, right after i typed what our relationship has resorted to, a perfect example.
The only time my parents appreciate/are proud of me is when i do something WORTH appreciation. I have to prove myself time and time again to have any sort of happy relationship at any given time. For instance, immediately after a performance, my parents are all smiles, and tell me how proud they are. 3 hours later, the aforementioned relationship ensues.
Come on, what the heck?! It's bad (with my self-confidence) when I am more proud of myself than my parents are. Come on! I think i've cleaned up this year! I was in both plays, think i did a pretty good job, i had an awesome date to prom [=)], i got into a production of Wizard of Oz at the FREAKING HERBERGER and i'm a lead role, i am singing the national anthem at graduation... GIVE ME SOME FREAKING LOVE... lol... If only i was laughing...
The only time they're proud of these accomplishments is when i initially tell them. That's why i don't even feel like telling them anything, lately. I mean hell, it better be pretty good if i'm going to waste their nagging time with it. Besides, whenever i tell my dad anything (read: try to) he's just doing something else and occasionally yells "Speak louder! I can't hear you" (who does that?) It's so freaking frustrating.
And i know, despite their temporary pride for each music/theatre-related accomplishment, they are not enthusiastic about me going to college for theatre. So i'm constantly knowing that in the background they're hoping i'll somehow fail, or change my mind, so i can be their social security. GAH!
I'm sorry i'm ranting so much- let me close in what started this rant in the first place.
Tonight was banquet. Banquet hadn't even started and my dad decided to ruin the night early. He walks up to me and says, "You aren't doing anything with your friends tonight. You didn't clean everything up in the house." Hello? I had to make my costume, and i was going to do it tonight (like i'm about to when i'm off of this lj crap) besides, i didn't even have enough time to begin with!
So then he tries to act cool in front of my friends, like he wasn't upset with me. He always puts on facades in front of my friends. I guess its better than him being a raging @!$ in FRONT of them. So that pissed me off and i basically walk away. Then we had the American Idol skit. It was AWESOME. I thought it was hilarious, and i- myself- got quite a few laughs, playing Simon. This was something worth of "appreciation," as my parents would deem so, i suppose, because afterwards they were happy again, and my dad tells me i can go with my friends.
On the way to my truck i see my OWN MOM badmouthing her OWN SON (cough, me) to HIS FRIENDS. I tried not to let that get to me much- cause, hey- i get to hang with my friends at least, right?
Wrong, we go to Anna's house, and after about 20 minutes, my dad calls and says (and i quote) "Where are you? Why aren't you home?" Wtf? So i had to come back home after being at her house for about 30 minutes. So i could clean.
Which brings me HERE. (/endrant)