Overall, quite excellent; I especially like the Our Town reference. There seems to be minor punctuation errors here and there, but that could just be my usual punctuation idiocy speaking.
I don't know if it's wise to bring such attention to your "normality" in an essay about diversity. Maybe you could just allude to that but place a larger emphasis on the different types and kinds of people that have helped you build your life thus far. I think the same can be said about you being the minority in Texas, Japan, and the political arena; put less in about being the Minority or Majority and put more in about your personal experiences when diverse groups of people blend together.
This is just another tactic to take on the "diversity" topic. I think the military stuff is cool, but it could also do with a little more moderation, if you're looking for areas to trim in order to put other stuff in.
Very interesting, I liked it. But, oy vey, I can't believe you've already started. I suppose that I probably should as well..but eh..maybe later. Hope you're having a nice time in hurricane land florida.
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I don't know if it's wise to bring such attention to your "normality" in an essay about diversity. Maybe you could just allude to that but place a larger emphasis on the different types and kinds of people that have helped you build your life thus far. I think the same can be said about you being the minority in Texas, Japan, and the political arena; put less in about being the Minority or Majority and put more in about your personal experiences when diverse groups of people blend together.
This is just another tactic to take on the "diversity" topic. I think the military stuff is cool, but it could also do with a little more moderation, if you're looking for areas to trim in order to put other stuff in.
Good luck!
Cody out.
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Hope you're having a nice time in hurricane land florida.
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clever
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Starting tonight.
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