Behind Closed Doors
Title: Behind Closed Doors 3/4
Author: his_angel16
Genre: Romance, Angst
Pairing: JunSeob, DooWoon, HyunKwang
Rating: PG-15 (For self harm)
Summary: Junhyung tries to escape his frightening reality.
Chap. 3:
Three hours passed as they sat there. Doojoon had called an hour ago, frantic that he didn’t know where the blond was. Junhyung told him not to worry, that Yoseob was with him. And although the younger couldn’t speak, not because he had lost his voice, but because he was in shock over his friend having cancer, Doojoon had hung up. Before any more time could pass, Junhyung broke the silence.
“Please say something,” he whispered.
“What kind of cancer do you have?” the blond replied, equally quiet. He didn’t want to know, but had to ask. It was the only question his mind could think of.
“I don’t want to tell you. You’re in enough shock as it is. I don’t want you to go into any more while your body can’t absorb this.”
“You’re not going to die, are you?”
Junhyung shook his head. “No, I’m not going to die, Seobbie. They caught this really early.”
Yoseob looked at his friend. “Is it the reason you’ve been cutting yourself?” When Junhyung nodded, the younger sighed. “Why won’t you tell me what kind of cancer you have?”
“You’ll cry again and, not to be mean or anything, I want to go home. We can’t go back with your eyes red and face puffier than normal.”
“By the time we get back, I’ll be fine. Let’s go.”
As they walked home, Yoseob asked a few questions pertaining to Junhyung’s cancer. He answered most of them, avoiding the ones about what type of cancer it was and if it’d ever go away. When they reached the front door, the blond only had one more question.
“Do they know?”
Junhyung shook his head. “No, and I’d like to keep it that way. Please don’t tell them.”
“I won’t.” As soon as Yoseob spoke those words, the front door flew open, revealing a very distressed Doojoon.
“Where have you been?!” he shrieked. “I’ve been worried sick over the two of you!”
“Sorry, hyung. We had some things to discuss,” Junhyung apologized. He grabbed Yoseob’s hand, intertwining their fingers, and led him inside. The look of shock on Doojoon’s face at his action made him smile.
“Yah, Jun!” Dongwoon called from the kitchen. He peered around the corner. “How are-” He stopped mid-sentence as his eyes caught sight of their hands. He leaned back around the corner to resume whatever he was doing before they got back.
“What’s going on between the two of you?” Kikwang asked, raising an eyebrow at them.
Yoseob shrugged, smiling at the look Kikwang gave them for keeping him out of the loop. “We just talked about some things.”
Junhyung’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out and placed it to his ear. “Hello?” He released Yoseob’s hand and walked toward the couch, the person on the phone instructing him to do so. “I’m there. Tell me.” He felt his heart stop when he heard the news. “Are you positive?” After hanging up, he stayed on his phone for a minute.
Yoseob’s phone buzzed and he fished it from his pocket. Opening the text message from Junhyung, his eyes widened.
Seob, I have throat cancer. It’s worse than the doctors thought and I have to quit singing or I’ll lose my voice altogether.
The blond watched Junhyung walk down the hall and into his and Doojoon’s room. He shut the door quietly behind him. Music started playing a few seconds later. Yoseob threw his phone across the room, shattering it on the wall. The other members of Beast watched in shock at their friend’s behavior. He had never exploded like this.
“Yoseob, are you alright?” Hyunseung asked, staying across the room. Without answering, the younger fell to his knees, sobs escaping his lips. “Yah! What’s wrong?”
The four rushed to Yoseob, all concerned. Doojoon hurried to his and Junhyung’s room, surprised to find the door unlocked. Usually, the rapper locked the door, refusing to be bothered. The eldest found him sprawled across his bed, staring at the ceiling as tears ran down his face. He closed the door and went to sit on the edge of Junhyung’s bed.
“What’s going on, Junhyung?” Doojoon asked.
“is everyone still in the living room?”
“Yeah. They’re huddled around Yoseob because he randomly started sobbing. What happened between the two of you? You were happy when you got home.”
Junhyung turned on his side, facing away from Doojoon. “I’m scared, hyung.”
“What?” Doojoon wasn’t sure if he had heard correctly or not.
“I’m scared.” The whimper that escaped from him startled Doojoon. “I have cancer, Doojoon, and it’s not going away…”
“What do you mean you have cancer? What kind of cancer?”
“Throat cancer. The person who called me was the doctor I went to see today. He told me that it’s worse than they anticipated. If I don’t stop singing now, I’ll end up losing my voice within two months.” He covered his mouth, attempting to muffle a sob. “Will you tell Seobbie to come here, please?”
Doojoon got up and immediately went into the living room. “Yoseob, Junhyung wants you…” He was amazed at how quickly the blond got up and hurried to Junhyung’s side. He leaned against the wall, covering his face with his hands, and sliding down into a sitting position.
“Doojoon, what’s wrong with them?” Dongwoon asked, kneeling beside him.
“Junhyung’s really sick…”
Yoseob walked over to Junhyung’s bed, climbing onto it and leaning against the headboard. “I’m here, Junhyung,” he whispered.
Hearing the blond’s voice, Junhyung rolled over and buried his face against the younger’s chest. He wrapped his arms around him, clinging to him for support. “Don’t leave me…” the elder begged.
Yoseob stroked his hair, smiling sadly. “I promised my feelings wouldn’t change, Junhyung, and they won’t. I’ll always be right here.”
“I’m terrified, Seobbie. I don’t want to lose my voice…”
“Shhh.” Yoseob kissed the top of Junhyung’s head. “Just try to rest, Junhyung. We’ll think of what to do when you wake up.”
“You won’t leave, right?”
“Not even after you fall asleep. I’ll stay right here.”
Junhyung was reassured enough to fall asleep within a few minutes. Tears were still running down his cheeks and onto the younger’s shirt. Yoseob sat there, staring at the wall. He felt his eyelids getting heavier, so he gave into the need to sleep.
In the living room, Kikwang, Dongwoon, and Hyunseung were staring at Doojoon. Had he really just said that? The leader of Beast sat on the couch, tears silently falling as he waited for their manager to answer the phone.
“Yah, hyung,” Doojoon greeted him. “I think you’ll have to cancel tonight’s and tomorrow’s events. None of us are feeling well and we have some things that need sorted out.” He was quiet while their manager spoke. “If I need to, I’ll go on television and personally apologize, but right now we just need to be here.” He hung up without waiting for an answer.
“Junhyung has throat cancer?” Kikwang asked no one in particular. It didn’t seem real to him, yet they were sitting there in silence while Junhyung cried his eyes out against Yoseob in the other room.
“How did this happen?” Hyunseung whispered.
Doojoon shrugged. “I don’t know. It just does.”
They sat in silence for three hours before Yoseob and Junhyung came back. They all looked to the two of them, hoping they were alright. Junhyung clung to Yoseob’s hand as if it were his lifeline. He took a deep breath before speaking, hoping it would calm him down a little.
“I’ve decided to go to the president and tell him about this,” Junhyung started. “As long as I can, I’ll be continuing with singing until I can’t do it anymore.” His eyes started tearing up again.
“Are you sure that’s wise?” Doojoon asked. Junhyung nodded. “But if you continue singing, you’ll lose your voice. You won’t be able to speak or anything.”
“I know.” The reality of Doojoon’s words hit him like a brick wall. He closed his eyes trying to fight off the tears threatening to fall. “But I worked hard to become what I am. I might as well sing while I have the ability.”
“When are you going to the president?” Dongwoon asked.
“Right now. I want him to know about this now so it doesn’t startle him when I can’t sing anymore.” Junhyung gave Yoseob a quick hug before he left.
“Are you letting him go through with this?” Hyunseung asked the blond.
Yoseob nodded before he fell to his knees again, sobbing. “I asked him to stop…but he told me…that he didn’t want to,” he said between sobs. “So I have to stand by and watch as he loses his voice.”
Kikwang hugged him, trying to calm him down. “Yoseob, it isn’t a definite yes that he won’t be able to sing or talk anymore.”
The blond cried harder, scaring the others into silence. “He said he’s going to stop getting treatments after he can’t sing anymore.”
“Why? Shouldn’t he try to keep his voice as much as possible?” Doojoon asked.
“He said that if he couldn’t sing, that he didn’t want his voice anymore. That’s why he decided to go to the president. Once he isn’t able to sing, he’ll resign and he’ll stop getting treatments.” He looked up at Doojoon. “What am I supposed to do? I don’t want him to go through with this!”
“If we leave now, we should be able to catch him before he gets there.” Kikwang pulled the blond up as he stood. “Let’s go.”
The five of them hurried to the door, pulling it open and rushing outside. They stopped when they spotted Junhyung leaning against the railing on the steps. He was sitting with his legs pulled closely to his body and clutching the railing as if the ground would fall out from under him.
“Junhyung?” Dongwoon asked. The rapper gave no indication that he heard so the youngest walked over to him. “Hyung, are you okay?”
Junhyung only shook his head, barely able to cry silently. He felt arms go around him as Yoseob sat down next to him. He willingly leaned into the blond’s embrace, letting go of the railing to hug the younger boy instead.
“Junhyung,” Yoseob whispered, finally able to control his own crying. “You know I’ll support you no matter what you decide, right?” When he nodded, Yoseob continued. “And you know I love you, right?”
“I love you, too, Seob,” the rapper mumbled. “And that’s why I called the president and told him I’m resigning.”
Chap. 3 End
Author: his_angel16
Genre: Romance, Angst
Pairing: JunSeob, DooWoon, HyunKwang
Rating: PG-15 (For self harm)
Summary: Junhyung tries to escape his frightening reality.
Chap. 3:
Three hours passed as they sat there. Doojoon had called an hour ago, frantic that he didn’t know where the blond was. Junhyung told him not to worry, that Yoseob was with him. And although the younger couldn’t speak, not because he had lost his voice, but because he was in shock over his friend having cancer, Doojoon had hung up. Before any more time could pass, Junhyung broke the silence.
“Please say something,” he whispered.
“What kind of cancer do you have?” the blond replied, equally quiet. He didn’t want to know, but had to ask. It was the only question his mind could think of.
“I don’t want to tell you. You’re in enough shock as it is. I don’t want you to go into any more while your body can’t absorb this.”
“You’re not going to die, are you?”
Junhyung shook his head. “No, I’m not going to die, Seobbie. They caught this really early.”
Yoseob looked at his friend. “Is it the reason you’ve been cutting yourself?” When Junhyung nodded, the younger sighed. “Why won’t you tell me what kind of cancer you have?”
“You’ll cry again and, not to be mean or anything, I want to go home. We can’t go back with your eyes red and face puffier than normal.”
“By the time we get back, I’ll be fine. Let’s go.”
As they walked home, Yoseob asked a few questions pertaining to Junhyung’s cancer. He answered most of them, avoiding the ones about what type of cancer it was and if it’d ever go away. When they reached the front door, the blond only had one more question.
“Do they know?”
Junhyung shook his head. “No, and I’d like to keep it that way. Please don’t tell them.”
“I won’t.” As soon as Yoseob spoke those words, the front door flew open, revealing a very distressed Doojoon.
“Where have you been?!” he shrieked. “I’ve been worried sick over the two of you!”
“Sorry, hyung. We had some things to discuss,” Junhyung apologized. He grabbed Yoseob’s hand, intertwining their fingers, and led him inside. The look of shock on Doojoon’s face at his action made him smile.
“Yah, Jun!” Dongwoon called from the kitchen. He peered around the corner. “How are-” He stopped mid-sentence as his eyes caught sight of their hands. He leaned back around the corner to resume whatever he was doing before they got back.
“What’s going on between the two of you?” Kikwang asked, raising an eyebrow at them.
Yoseob shrugged, smiling at the look Kikwang gave them for keeping him out of the loop. “We just talked about some things.”
Junhyung’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out and placed it to his ear. “Hello?” He released Yoseob’s hand and walked toward the couch, the person on the phone instructing him to do so. “I’m there. Tell me.” He felt his heart stop when he heard the news. “Are you positive?” After hanging up, he stayed on his phone for a minute.
Yoseob’s phone buzzed and he fished it from his pocket. Opening the text message from Junhyung, his eyes widened.
Seob, I have throat cancer. It’s worse than the doctors thought and I have to quit singing or I’ll lose my voice altogether.
The blond watched Junhyung walk down the hall and into his and Doojoon’s room. He shut the door quietly behind him. Music started playing a few seconds later. Yoseob threw his phone across the room, shattering it on the wall. The other members of Beast watched in shock at their friend’s behavior. He had never exploded like this.
“Yoseob, are you alright?” Hyunseung asked, staying across the room. Without answering, the younger fell to his knees, sobs escaping his lips. “Yah! What’s wrong?”
The four rushed to Yoseob, all concerned. Doojoon hurried to his and Junhyung’s room, surprised to find the door unlocked. Usually, the rapper locked the door, refusing to be bothered. The eldest found him sprawled across his bed, staring at the ceiling as tears ran down his face. He closed the door and went to sit on the edge of Junhyung’s bed.
“What’s going on, Junhyung?” Doojoon asked.
“is everyone still in the living room?”
“Yeah. They’re huddled around Yoseob because he randomly started sobbing. What happened between the two of you? You were happy when you got home.”
Junhyung turned on his side, facing away from Doojoon. “I’m scared, hyung.”
“What?” Doojoon wasn’t sure if he had heard correctly or not.
“I’m scared.” The whimper that escaped from him startled Doojoon. “I have cancer, Doojoon, and it’s not going away…”
“What do you mean you have cancer? What kind of cancer?”
“Throat cancer. The person who called me was the doctor I went to see today. He told me that it’s worse than they anticipated. If I don’t stop singing now, I’ll end up losing my voice within two months.” He covered his mouth, attempting to muffle a sob. “Will you tell Seobbie to come here, please?”
Doojoon got up and immediately went into the living room. “Yoseob, Junhyung wants you…” He was amazed at how quickly the blond got up and hurried to Junhyung’s side. He leaned against the wall, covering his face with his hands, and sliding down into a sitting position.
“Doojoon, what’s wrong with them?” Dongwoon asked, kneeling beside him.
“Junhyung’s really sick…”
Yoseob walked over to Junhyung’s bed, climbing onto it and leaning against the headboard. “I’m here, Junhyung,” he whispered.
Hearing the blond’s voice, Junhyung rolled over and buried his face against the younger’s chest. He wrapped his arms around him, clinging to him for support. “Don’t leave me…” the elder begged.
Yoseob stroked his hair, smiling sadly. “I promised my feelings wouldn’t change, Junhyung, and they won’t. I’ll always be right here.”
“I’m terrified, Seobbie. I don’t want to lose my voice…”
“Shhh.” Yoseob kissed the top of Junhyung’s head. “Just try to rest, Junhyung. We’ll think of what to do when you wake up.”
“You won’t leave, right?”
“Not even after you fall asleep. I’ll stay right here.”
Junhyung was reassured enough to fall asleep within a few minutes. Tears were still running down his cheeks and onto the younger’s shirt. Yoseob sat there, staring at the wall. He felt his eyelids getting heavier, so he gave into the need to sleep.
In the living room, Kikwang, Dongwoon, and Hyunseung were staring at Doojoon. Had he really just said that? The leader of Beast sat on the couch, tears silently falling as he waited for their manager to answer the phone.
“Yah, hyung,” Doojoon greeted him. “I think you’ll have to cancel tonight’s and tomorrow’s events. None of us are feeling well and we have some things that need sorted out.” He was quiet while their manager spoke. “If I need to, I’ll go on television and personally apologize, but right now we just need to be here.” He hung up without waiting for an answer.
“Junhyung has throat cancer?” Kikwang asked no one in particular. It didn’t seem real to him, yet they were sitting there in silence while Junhyung cried his eyes out against Yoseob in the other room.
“How did this happen?” Hyunseung whispered.
Doojoon shrugged. “I don’t know. It just does.”
They sat in silence for three hours before Yoseob and Junhyung came back. They all looked to the two of them, hoping they were alright. Junhyung clung to Yoseob’s hand as if it were his lifeline. He took a deep breath before speaking, hoping it would calm him down a little.
“I’ve decided to go to the president and tell him about this,” Junhyung started. “As long as I can, I’ll be continuing with singing until I can’t do it anymore.” His eyes started tearing up again.
“Are you sure that’s wise?” Doojoon asked. Junhyung nodded. “But if you continue singing, you’ll lose your voice. You won’t be able to speak or anything.”
“I know.” The reality of Doojoon’s words hit him like a brick wall. He closed his eyes trying to fight off the tears threatening to fall. “But I worked hard to become what I am. I might as well sing while I have the ability.”
“When are you going to the president?” Dongwoon asked.
“Right now. I want him to know about this now so it doesn’t startle him when I can’t sing anymore.” Junhyung gave Yoseob a quick hug before he left.
“Are you letting him go through with this?” Hyunseung asked the blond.
Yoseob nodded before he fell to his knees again, sobbing. “I asked him to stop…but he told me…that he didn’t want to,” he said between sobs. “So I have to stand by and watch as he loses his voice.”
Kikwang hugged him, trying to calm him down. “Yoseob, it isn’t a definite yes that he won’t be able to sing or talk anymore.”
The blond cried harder, scaring the others into silence. “He said he’s going to stop getting treatments after he can’t sing anymore.”
“Why? Shouldn’t he try to keep his voice as much as possible?” Doojoon asked.
“He said that if he couldn’t sing, that he didn’t want his voice anymore. That’s why he decided to go to the president. Once he isn’t able to sing, he’ll resign and he’ll stop getting treatments.” He looked up at Doojoon. “What am I supposed to do? I don’t want him to go through with this!”
“If we leave now, we should be able to catch him before he gets there.” Kikwang pulled the blond up as he stood. “Let’s go.”
The five of them hurried to the door, pulling it open and rushing outside. They stopped when they spotted Junhyung leaning against the railing on the steps. He was sitting with his legs pulled closely to his body and clutching the railing as if the ground would fall out from under him.
“Junhyung?” Dongwoon asked. The rapper gave no indication that he heard so the youngest walked over to him. “Hyung, are you okay?”
Junhyung only shook his head, barely able to cry silently. He felt arms go around him as Yoseob sat down next to him. He willingly leaned into the blond’s embrace, letting go of the railing to hug the younger boy instead.
“Junhyung,” Yoseob whispered, finally able to control his own crying. “You know I’ll support you no matter what you decide, right?” When he nodded, Yoseob continued. “And you know I love you, right?”
“I love you, too, Seob,” the rapper mumbled. “And that’s why I called the president and told him I’m resigning.”
Chap. 3 End