-1st Case- [Voice/Action in the Kint Household]

[his_assistant]

[The first thing Natalie does? She picks up the phone, because she's going to try and sneak out before calling 9-1-1. She doesn't know she's being heard by everyone.]

Oh, god, what did I do?

[Waking up to a strange man is not the ideal way for Natalie Teeger to start her morning. In fact, she's more used to waking up alone. And in her house, too. You

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[his_assistant]

Who is this?

[his_assistant]

Great.

Nice to meet you. I guess?

[skokie_quartet]

Oh fuck you, lady, I don't wanna be here either, okay? [Beat.] And what the fuck is "Photoshopping"?

[The smell of cigarette smoke precedes the man in the photo into the room, and he leans against the doorway, taking a deep drag and exhaling a cloud of smoke through his nose. He looks her up and down with an expression of annoyed disinterest, but there's a slight tremble in his hands that betrays that he's almost as rattled as she is. He shakes his head in disgust.]

Fuck. Not again.

[his_assistant]

Excuse me? First, you kidnap me, and then you claim to have no idea what photoshopping is?! Where are we? What did you do with Julie?

[Oh, she's so tempted to just...walk over and give you a piece of her mind, but the photographs have her really spooked. She'll settle for verbally berating you from here.]

[skokie_quartet]

Oh Christ. I am so fuckin' sick of this shit. [His voice turns sharp and bitter.]

Listen, sweetheart. I didn't kidnap you, I don't know who the fuck Julie is, I still don't know what the fuck Photoshopping is, and I'm stuck here, Everybody in this town is stuck here except the assholes that run the joint. I don't know how you got in the photos, but somebody keeps changing 'em, and I really wanna know how they got in here. Maybe I can ask 'em why they're making me married to four crazy broads in the last week.

[his_assistant]

Oh, hahaha. I am not a crazy broad. Listen. I have no idea what you're talking about, but that doesn't give you an excuse to just...swear at me, honey.

[mr_panophobic]

Natalie!

Oh no. They got you, too.

[his_assistant]

...Mr. Monk? What's going on here? Who's "they" and where the hell am I?

[mr_panophobic]

The kidnappers! They brought everyone here and they brainwash people and everyone is crazy and--and--and there's land mines in my front yard! Who puts land mines in the front yard?! WHO?!

[his_assistant]

...Mr. Monk. What are you talking about? Where ARE we? Who's taking care of Julie?!

[bustydefense]

Oh no, that happens to all of us when we arrive here.

[his_assistant]

You know, these nonchalant greetings are beginning to worry me. Who am I speaking to now?

[bustydefense]

I'm MIa Fey. And you?

[his_assistant]

Natalie Teeger. Think you can answer a few questions for me?