'cause some unknown commenter apparently thinks I should update!
so I currently have a friend of mine whom I haven't seen in years visiting... damn is that boy fine! Unfortunately he is not at all dominant... well, maybe fortunately 'cause resisting him sexually isn't really difficult. That sounds terrible but I just really have no desire to interract in a sexually physical way with someone I can dom...
I've been approached by someone who want's to play with me. He want's me to ask Master for permission to play with him because he doesn't want to be endebted to Master for my time... he says that I bring out his dom side and he would like to explore that with me...
few things about this...
one: I have been told, time and time again, that I bring out the dom in most men... even men who aren't really dominant... *shrugs* I'm flattered but to be honest... I need to be with a man who brings out my naturally submissive side... and very few do. I can be submissive to people... but it's that difference between being submissive to and submitting to... does that make sense? *shrugs* my journal... makes sense to me so whatev...
two: it would have to be kept "discreet". Won't go into reasons why but I don't feel that two consenting adults should have to hide their interractions... I'm not saying flog me during half-time at some sports game but I feel that I deserve more than to be a shameful secret... even if that's not how it was intended that's how it feels.
three: ummm... Master, Sir, J. Seeking someone (although not super actively it's going to be forefront of my mind from now on) for whom I will be their primary... don't have to be their only, just have to be their first. So the dance card is kinda full... and adding someone for whom I am not first just doesn't seem like a good move for me right now... I don't think that I can handle that emotionally.
so while I'm flattered and the bit of time that I have spent with this man has been fun I simply don't have the energy or, to be honest, the inclination, to be what he needs/wants... and I will tell him so the next opportunity that I get. *wrinkles her nose* perhaps not the bit about the inclination though...
*half laughs* not terribly sub of me is that??!!
someone told me that I am actually an Alpha female... and while I can serve another Alpha female and serve her well I can't really submit to anyone other than an Alpha male. That made alot of sense to me and straightened things out in my head to some degree...
so there you go... random confusing not alot of funny haha stuff update.