An older poem by me but oh well
"For poems are not, as people think, simply emotions (one has emotions early enough)-they are experiences." -Rainer Maria Rilke
Ok so I wrote this poem last year, but, its one of my favorite of the ones that I have written. The girl in the poem and the other one (the second girl it mentions, as in her friend) was my best friend at the time.
she walks alone
on the side of the rode
doesn't want to go home
to where she's in pain
just wants to get away
from everything
slowing her pace then
she stops in a daze
she looks to her right
even though it's late at night
she sees a familiar place
she knows she should go
but she doesn't want her to know
that she really isn't ok
like she told her she was
she thinks she'll be disappointed
that she lied to her.
She drops to her knees
and cries out in pain
she wishes she were different
she cannot stop thinking
that she needs to just die
she takes out her pistol
she brought for her deed
srying so loudly
she brings it to her head
she thinks it's the only thing
that she has left to do
from the other side
of the road that she's on
she hears her name
as a house door slams
she yells to her friend
'don't you try to stop me'
She hasn't changed her mind
not to kill herself yet.
He friend runs across
to her friend on her knees
she puts her hand on the gun
and says that she's not
going to stop her at all
but that she'll never
remember her the same way
and that she'll miss her
forever more.
Her friend gets up
and goes back to her house
crying for her friend
worrying she's going
to go through with it.
a gunshot bellows
inside of her head.
Looking behind her
and praying it's not true
but she is just crying
she isn't dead:
She chose to live.
Still crying she yells out
to her friend in the road
she thought she could do it
without her ever having
to face her again
but she couldn't do it
she couldn't let down
her very best friend
the one who had been with her
through till the end
she was being so selfish
what had she been thinking
she couldn't keep putting
her best friend through this:
she chose to change.
She stood up an ran
to her friend and they cried
they walked to her house
and they went inside
they sat on her bed
and she laid on her lap
she told her everything
that went on at her house
crying the whole time
but happy to be able
to be honest with her:
She chose to be rescued.
They got her father
and got on the phone
and told someone
what went on in her home.
The fighting and yelling
and discouraging.
the nights with a knife
that she spent on the floor
carving and carving
things into her skin
and everything
from begining to end:
She chose to get help.
Still lying beside her
and crying so hard
she asks her friend
what she can do
to start to be happy
and feel better too.
Her friend gets up
and pulls up her friend
and tells her 'keep praying,
and talking to me'
She gets on her knees
and her friend does the same
together they prayed
and together they cried.
she chose to get help
she chose to trust
she chose to love
but most of all,
she chose to live
This is my new fav movie, its kinda sad though