JP Do you believe in a clean slate?
Following this and this. reposurvivor used with permission.
"Daddy, please. Daddy, please get up."
She was begging a dead man to open his eyes and come back to her. Later, Shilo would wonder if her father had done the same with her mother. If he had held her close and begged Marni to come back. Shilo clung to him tightly, desperately, unable to let him go despite all of the revelations that had come to light on the Opera stage.
Mag was gone. Rotti was gone. Nathan...
"Please get up. Daddy, please."
He wasn't going to get back up. Pulling away from him to rise to her feet was a struggle. Her entire life had revolved around him. He was father, care giver, protector, poisoner, and in every way that mattered, he was God. Her only true attachment to life with the exception of Graverobber. Her time with Mag was cut brief, and she knew without a doubt now that there were mornings to chase.
She had to. She had to do it for Mag, for Marni, and yes for Nathan. Shilo knew all the answers now, but at what price? There was bodies on the stage growing colder by the second. She was wearing her dead mother's dress, and covered in her dead godmother and father's blood. There was an audience inside the building watching her take those first steps of freedom. It was like a baby struggling to walk for the first time. She stumbled and slipped in the blood, but she held her head up. She looked them in the eyes, and she didn't shy away from the cameras. If they came here for a show, she hoped they got their money worth.
Shilo hoped they choked on the carnage, betrayal and despair that was to be found here. Because that was what she was doing. Shilo was choking on the mixture of truth, betrayal and grief.
He was supposed to always be there for her.
Hadn't he promised to protect her? He told her the world was cruel, and she needed to stay inside so he could keep her safe? Nathan had failed to tell her that he was the one keeping her weak and tethered to him. But the ties were cut now, and she couldn't hate him. Not when her heart was shattering and she was shivering while covered in his blood.
Walking out of the Opera house she was greeted with more gasps of shock and looks of pity. They had seen the Wallace family secrets laid out in all their ugly glory. She didn't want their pity. She didn't want anything from them at all.
Pushing her way through the crowds, she used the cover of the chaos to disappear into the shadows of Los Angeles. It was a warm night, but she was cold from the inside out. Her skin felt sticky and disgusting. The wig on her head was plastered to her scalp with sweat and blood.
Shilo couldn't go home. She could not go back to that house knowing she was alone. Nathan would never come home to her again. This was freedom. Hadn't this been what she dreamed of for so long?
"Free at last."
Freedom meant she needed to figure out where she could go. Maybe she should try and find Graverobber. No, he was probably in the middle of the chaos.
Her boot catches a rock on the road and she falls forward. Her knee is skinned and her blood mixes with her father's blood. There is wet wig hair in her face and she screams. She screams so loud it's surprising that only one person comes to her. He looks concerned, and when he speaks to her, it's through a device. Something happened to his throat. She tries not to stare at the scar.
"I can help you," he says, offering her his hand. She takes it and lets him usher her down a couple of blocks before they reach his place. "My name is Myles." He holds the door open for her, and she walks in without hesitation. She has no other place to go.
"Shilo. My name is Shilo."
"Yes, I know. I saw."
"Right. Everyone saw. I need to get out of town. Can you help me?"
His answer was to find her a pair of jeans that would be too baggy, but would work for now. A sweater to help fight off the chill. He lets her shower and doesn't ask questions when she screams and sobs under the cover of the hot water. The wig is useless. It's too damaged.
If he's shocked by her lack of hair he doesn't say it. There are two bags packed and a little bit of money. He drives her to the train station. She says nothing until he puts her on the train. "Thank you."
He nods, and follows her on to the train. Shilo looks at him in confusion. "You shouldn't travel alone." He's a stranger, but he's the only friend she has right now so she just nods her head.. She doesn't look back at the station as the train pulls away. She doesn't look back at anything at all. Los Angeles is as dead to her as her family.
If she's free at last, then the way to begin her new life is to look forward and not back.
Shilo falls asleep on the train. Myles wakes her when they reach New Mexico. There's a hotel they can stay in. When he goes out for food, she curls up on one of the two beds in the room and stares aimlessly at the hotel television. She had always wanted to go outside, and now that she can, she has locked herself in.
Old habits die hard.
He brings back food and a bag for her. She opens it and finds a wig that is close to the one she tossed. It's a little shorter, but the same color. The tears fall fast, and he looks nervous. Afraid that maybe he's offended her. The hug he receives makes it clear the tears are because she's surprised he's being so nice to a stranger.
The wig fits fine, but it doesn't help her face her reflection in the mirror. Because instead of just seeing Marni staring back at her, now she sees Nathan too, and it's too much too take.
She's going to have to figure this out, one step at a time.
"Daddy, please. Daddy, please get up."
She was begging a dead man to open his eyes and come back to her. Later, Shilo would wonder if her father had done the same with her mother. If he had held her close and begged Marni to come back. Shilo clung to him tightly, desperately, unable to let him go despite all of the revelations that had come to light on the Opera stage.
Mag was gone. Rotti was gone. Nathan...
"Please get up. Daddy, please."
He wasn't going to get back up. Pulling away from him to rise to her feet was a struggle. Her entire life had revolved around him. He was father, care giver, protector, poisoner, and in every way that mattered, he was God. Her only true attachment to life with the exception of Graverobber. Her time with Mag was cut brief, and she knew without a doubt now that there were mornings to chase.
She had to. She had to do it for Mag, for Marni, and yes for Nathan. Shilo knew all the answers now, but at what price? There was bodies on the stage growing colder by the second. She was wearing her dead mother's dress, and covered in her dead godmother and father's blood. There was an audience inside the building watching her take those first steps of freedom. It was like a baby struggling to walk for the first time. She stumbled and slipped in the blood, but she held her head up. She looked them in the eyes, and she didn't shy away from the cameras. If they came here for a show, she hoped they got their money worth.
Shilo hoped they choked on the carnage, betrayal and despair that was to be found here. Because that was what she was doing. Shilo was choking on the mixture of truth, betrayal and grief.
He was supposed to always be there for her.
Hadn't he promised to protect her? He told her the world was cruel, and she needed to stay inside so he could keep her safe? Nathan had failed to tell her that he was the one keeping her weak and tethered to him. But the ties were cut now, and she couldn't hate him. Not when her heart was shattering and she was shivering while covered in his blood.
Walking out of the Opera house she was greeted with more gasps of shock and looks of pity. They had seen the Wallace family secrets laid out in all their ugly glory. She didn't want their pity. She didn't want anything from them at all.
Pushing her way through the crowds, she used the cover of the chaos to disappear into the shadows of Los Angeles. It was a warm night, but she was cold from the inside out. Her skin felt sticky and disgusting. The wig on her head was plastered to her scalp with sweat and blood.
Shilo couldn't go home. She could not go back to that house knowing she was alone. Nathan would never come home to her again. This was freedom. Hadn't this been what she dreamed of for so long?
"Free at last."
Freedom meant she needed to figure out where she could go. Maybe she should try and find Graverobber. No, he was probably in the middle of the chaos.
Her boot catches a rock on the road and she falls forward. Her knee is skinned and her blood mixes with her father's blood. There is wet wig hair in her face and she screams. She screams so loud it's surprising that only one person comes to her. He looks concerned, and when he speaks to her, it's through a device. Something happened to his throat. She tries not to stare at the scar.
"I can help you," he says, offering her his hand. She takes it and lets him usher her down a couple of blocks before they reach his place. "My name is Myles." He holds the door open for her, and she walks in without hesitation. She has no other place to go.
"Shilo. My name is Shilo."
"Yes, I know. I saw."
"Right. Everyone saw. I need to get out of town. Can you help me?"
His answer was to find her a pair of jeans that would be too baggy, but would work for now. A sweater to help fight off the chill. He lets her shower and doesn't ask questions when she screams and sobs under the cover of the hot water. The wig is useless. It's too damaged.
If he's shocked by her lack of hair he doesn't say it. There are two bags packed and a little bit of money. He drives her to the train station. She says nothing until he puts her on the train. "Thank you."
He nods, and follows her on to the train. Shilo looks at him in confusion. "You shouldn't travel alone." He's a stranger, but he's the only friend she has right now so she just nods her head.. She doesn't look back at the station as the train pulls away. She doesn't look back at anything at all. Los Angeles is as dead to her as her family.
If she's free at last, then the way to begin her new life is to look forward and not back.
Shilo falls asleep on the train. Myles wakes her when they reach New Mexico. There's a hotel they can stay in. When he goes out for food, she curls up on one of the two beds in the room and stares aimlessly at the hotel television. She had always wanted to go outside, and now that she can, she has locked herself in.
Old habits die hard.
He brings back food and a bag for her. She opens it and finds a wig that is close to the one she tossed. It's a little shorter, but the same color. The tears fall fast, and he looks nervous. Afraid that maybe he's offended her. The hug he receives makes it clear the tears are because she's surprised he's being so nice to a stranger.
The wig fits fine, but it doesn't help her face her reflection in the mirror. Because instead of just seeing Marni staring back at her, now she sees Nathan too, and it's too much too take.
She's going to have to figure this out, one step at a time.