[ voice-to-text ]
[ .. but he's just a cardinal, right? so he probably doesn't have much that's terribly scandalous to hide ]
Perhaps it was a short reprieve, after all. The attacks are getting more violent without Chiaro here. Thankfully, it seems to be limited to pain. That worst of it seems to be locked away by this chip inside me. I do not know how I should feel about that.
On one hand, I am helpless. On the other.. I am still myself. I can see that dividing line between it and myself far more clearly than I have been able to in years. I can feel, feel things that I have not been able to in far too long. Grief and gladness and affection. I thought it had died for everyone but Chiaro and Lucrezia.
How funny that only now that the two people I have always loved most in the world are gone from my life, I can truly appreciate them.
I fell last night, woke with bruises along my side and my nails torn and hands scraped-- evidently, my thrashing is quite uncontrollable. I am not entirely certain what to do about it.
I--
Chiaro would know. Chiaro would be able to make it end.
Hah. More the fool am I for trusting him. I deserve this pain. I should not have relied so heavily on him.
At least.. I do know better, now. I will never make that mistake again.
And what of Archbishop Maxwell? He seems to know who I am.. which means he likely knows everything that I will do in my life. I.. am not certain how to react to that news. Would he speak of it to Abel? .. Should I?
Sister Blanchett, I am relieved to know that you seem to be in better spirits. I hope that your good mood will continue.
Perhaps it was a short reprieve, after all. The attacks are getting more violent without Chiaro here. Thankfully, it seems to be limited to pain. That worst of it seems to be locked away by this chip inside me. I do not know how I should feel about that.
On one hand, I am helpless. On the other.. I am still myself. I can see that dividing line between it and myself far more clearly than I have been able to in years. I can feel, feel things that I have not been able to in far too long. Grief and gladness and affection. I thought it had died for everyone but Chiaro and Lucrezia.
How funny that only now that the two people I have always loved most in the world are gone from my life, I can truly appreciate them.
I fell last night, woke with bruises along my side and my nails torn and hands scraped-- evidently, my thrashing is quite uncontrollable. I am not entirely certain what to do about it.
I--
Chiaro would know. Chiaro would be able to make it end.
Hah. More the fool am I for trusting him. I deserve this pain. I should not have relied so heavily on him.
At least.. I do know better, now. I will never make that mistake again.
And what of Archbishop Maxwell? He seems to know who I am.. which means he likely knows everything that I will do in my life. I.. am not certain how to react to that news. Would he speak of it to Abel? .. Should I?
Sister Blanchett, I am relieved to know that you seem to be in better spirits. I hope that your good mood will continue.