(no subject)
Thirteen years left. I have to make every one of them count. It seems on one hand like such a long time-- and on the other, it seems so short. I will be thirty-two when what's left of my soul is finally dragged into hell.
I always knew that I wouldn't live long. I don't know why I feel so numb, now.
I probably should not have researched myself. But.. I did not want the Archbishop to be able to hold that over my head.
Well.. I suppose it's all right. Lucrezia will be safe and Chiaro-- I don't know. But he will have been long gone by that time. There will be no one to be saddened by my death.
I wonder if God would allow me to burn in Abel's stead, as well. That man deserves forgiveness more than anyone I know.
I always knew that I wouldn't live long. I don't know why I feel so numb, now.
I probably should not have researched myself. But.. I did not want the Archbishop to be able to hold that over my head.
Well.. I suppose it's all right. Lucrezia will be safe and Chiaro-- I don't know. But he will have been long gone by that time. There will be no one to be saddened by my death.
I wonder if God would allow me to burn in Abel's stead, as well. That man deserves forgiveness more than anyone I know.