Emofest09 Lorcan/Hugo/Lysander 1
Title: Field Research
Beta: Rissa
Pairing/s: Lorcan/Hugo/Lysander
Rating: R
Warning(s): incest, slash, het, bad language and hate crimes!
Word Count: 47314
Summary: Hugo faces the fact that he's attracted to other men and despite help from the Scamander twins, he does everything he can to protect his secret.
Hugo waited outside the locker room while the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team celebrated their latest win. It was a good idea for more than one reason. First, he knew he wouldn't have a good explanation for why, as the team's Keeper, he hadn't managed to block a single Quaffle thrown at him during the course of the match. Again and again the red leather ball had sailed through one ring after another and each time he couldn't seem to block any of them. He knew that should be his main concern, what his teammates would think about his disturbing incompetence on the field when every time during practice his record for saves was nearly perfect, but couldn’t help but be distracted with the other reason he was avoiding the locker room. After all, the inconsistency wasn't so much a mystery to him and had everything to do with the other reason for his distance.
The knowledge that on the other side of the stone wall that cooled the sweat on his back and shoulders was a half dozen fit, sweaty boys stripping out of their dirtied uniforms and getting into the shower was something he had become increasingly interested in. Despite his every effort to change the pattern of his thoughts he couldn’t seem to help but picture playful dirty banter and soap bubbles sliding down limber, muscled flesh. The day dreams were so vivid even though the rest of his body had chilled his face remained hot and red.
Both embarrassing trends had been an ever growing problem for longer than Hugo cared to admit and were dismally related to one another in a way he couldn't reveal to anyone. It was just too humiliating, so much so that he couldn't even stand to recount the memory even if he could recall it in agonizing detail. A flash of movement had caught his eye and even though he had been out past curfew, his stupid insatiable curiosity had gotten the best of him and he had to have a look. What he had seen burned in his mind in a way he both wished he could forget and made his trousers a tad more snug than he liked. White fingers twisted in dark hair, a hiss of breath, an arched back, a flash of pale, piercing eyes.
"Argh!" Hugo growled at himself as the familiar feeling of shame washed over him. He dug his fingers in his hair, still damp from the match, and vigorously shook his head as if it would chase the unwanted thoughts away. "Stop it! Stop thinking about it. You're such an idiot! Why did you even do that?"
"Quidditch should be the least of your worries, Hugo Weasley!"
The shrill voice echoed off the hallway around him and dug into him like white hot knives. Hugo groaned again and without even looking turned on his heels and headed for the castle regardless of the fact that he smelled like a dirty gym sock. An embarrassing memory, a humiliating defeat, and now his sister coming to drag him by the ear, lecturing the whole way, into the library. He hadn't thought his day could get any worse but apparently the misery had just begun!
"Don't walk away from me!" Rose managed to still sound insulted and infuriated even though escaping was her brother's usual reaction to the particular tone of voice she'd assaulted him with. Jogging to catch up, Rose grabbed Hugo by the elbow and spun him around and began the second wave of the attack, a half pout half stern frown that Hugo recognized as an expression belonging to his mother whenever she strongly disapproved of behavior she considered thoughtlessly stupid and unnecessary. "Did you know that if a Troll child is in a pit and it starts to rain it's too stupid to get out and would eventually drown if it rained enough? Did you know that's what T stands for when you get it as a mark? A T stands for troll meaning you're as stupid as a troll! How is it possible for you to get a T in Muggle Studies, Hugo? A T in Muggle studies with our Granddad?"
Hugo knew that once he was caught it was just better to let Rose get her lecture out of her system. He knew that once she said everything she had to say she would probably get frustrated by his lack of response and his blank look and storm off again. Today, however, seemed to be the day of bad decisions and before he could stop himself his mouth went off without waiting for his brain. "I don't care about Muggle Studies, Rose! No one cares about Muggle Studies! It's the most useless class in the curriculum. Not to mention the fact that what I get in any of my classes isn't any of your business!"
"You really are daft!" Rose shrieked, causing Hugo to roll his eyes and knowing he'd only made things worse he slouched back against the wall again. "Of course Muggle Studies matters! All of our classes matter, what grades you earn here and on your NEWTS determine what kind of job you'll be able to get and what kind of life you'll lead, unless you actually want to be a mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging idiot the rest of your life! Not to mention the fact that being a wizard in this day and age means you have to be able to function in both Wizarding and Muggle society!"
As swiftly as it had come, Hurricane Rose seemed to ebb quickly and her unusually short speech was followed by a silence that made Hugo open his eyes and look down at her curiously. His sister, shorter than he was even though she was a year older, looked hurt and sad, her small shoulders slumped. When she looked up at him again, all of the soft emotions she’d displayed to worry him vanished into serious concern. "I just don't know what's going on with you anymore, Hugo. We used to be so close but this year it's just different. I feel like we're getting farther and farther apart. Your grades are slipping and then there’s the game game today and sometimes in the Great Hall you seem like you're off in your own little world. You didn't always used to be so in your head. Is it because of Lindsay? You two were together for a long time."
Hugo cut her off with another groan and he sighed in a long suffering way. "If I've told you once I've told you a hundred times, I'm fine. It's not like we were going to get married or anything, you know? And I'm seeing Abbey now so..." He shrugged his shoulders, not quite sure if that explanation would be enough to satisfy his nosey sister although he doubted it would. Even if she was annoying he didn't want her to worry about him. He didn't want to hurt her with the knowledge that there was something going on in his life that he couldn't share with her when they'd already shared everything else.
The fact that once Rose Weasley caught a whiff of something that peaked her interest meant she would pursue it like a rabid animal was a pretty good reason to maintain his privacy. The last thing he needed was to have to explain to his sister that lately instead of his girlfriend, short uniform skirts, and the latest copy of Playwizard Finnigan had somehow gotten a hold of, he’d caught himself staring at the backsides of his male team mates during Quidditch practice, about how he’d touched himself when he heard one of his housemates doing it late at night when they were supposed to be sleeping, and wondering if kissing a bloke was at all like kissing a girl. He could tell by the look on her face, though, that she wasn't convinced so he spat out the first thing that came to mind.
"It's Quidditch!" He announced, pointing down the hall. "At practice and now the game, I just can't seem to-" his voice trailed off as the door to the locker room swung open for his exiting team mates, freshly scrubbed and laughing at something he hadn't been in the locker room to catch. He felt his heart jump into his throat as their mirth, for the most part, died. Wyatt Caldwell, Chaser, lead the way right between the two of them causing Rose to jump back or get pushed over and the rest of the team followed his bad example.
"Good job, Weasley." Hugo heard Liam Finnigan call and then, from somewhere in the middle of a line, a disembodied 'you suck!' that had everyone laughing again.
"I don't have time for this," Hugo snarled at no one in particular and left Rose there in the hallway, disappearing into the locker room where he knew she wouldn't follow. He hoped.
The silence that persisted broken only by the sound of dripping water from the shower head, was as much of a relief as it was unwelcomed. He was glad Rose hadn’t followed him, giving him a moment’s peace, until he remembered that whenever he was alone lately and it was quiet, his mind would wander and he would start thinking. He hated thinking! Especially now when all of his thoughts went to a place he didn't want them to go. No matter how he tried to distract himself by concentrating on other things, like a running inner monologue of what he was doing as he got out of his uniform or what he thought he was going to have for dinner that night, his mind inevitably took a wrong turn and ended back in the gutter.
Despite the knowledge that it would be a vein attempt, Hugo attempted to distract himself with a shower. Hot water beat down on his back, soon filling the small shower room, and he pressed his hands against the slick, soapy tiled walls watching water and lather swirl down the drain. White fingers twisted in dark hair, a hiss of breath, an arched back, a flash of pale, piercing eyes. Even though he'd been a voyeur in the midst of what he'd witnessed, it was easy for him to interject himself into the situation until it was a tongue running down his body. The muscles in his abdomen jumped at the sensual and flirtatious affection imagined completely in his own mind. He could feel the hot breath breaking against damp skin, heard himself gasp, his back arch, those pale, piercing eyes. Then, suddenly, he realized there really was something inching slowly down the length of his body, moving disturbingly south. "Stop it! Get out!" Hugo's eyes snapped open and he forced his hand back up his chest, pushing the soap with it, going over his skin for the purpose of cleanliness and not to make things more dirty.
Behind him came a laugh that sent a sickening weight straight down to his guts and quickly Hugo reached for his towel despite the fact that he was still soapy and the water was still on, and quickly wrapped the terry cloth around his hips. "What do you want, Malfoy," he snarled and turned to face the Slytherin who had snuck up on him, pushing his wet hair back from his forehead.
Scorpius Malfoy, dressed completely in his school uniform and smug smirk, stood just out of the reach of the water his arms folded over his chest and a confident cock to his hip. If it wasn't for the fact that the very sight of the older boy wanted to make him commit violent acts of thoughtless rage, Hugo might have found him attractive. He had thought Scorpius was good looking with his refined aristocratic features, oozing confidence, and that air of something absolutely unattainable, a notion that a disturbing amount of girls in the school also felt, but then the Slytherin had to open his mouth and ruin everything. Besides, he reminded himself and was disgusted that it was such an after thought, Scorpius was a boy and he, Hugo Weasley, would never ever in a hundred million years think of another bloke that way!
"I just wanted to congratulate you," Scorpius assured him, obviously doing his best not to laugh. "Your match against Slytherin was just, well, brilliant." He clapped slowly, sarcastically, and when a murderous Hugo turned his back to him to shut off the water, the blond retreated a few steps to have a seat on the end of a bench. "Although it didn't really have the outcome I thought it would. Obviously you weren't trying hard enough. It makes me wonder if you're serious at all about the terms of our arrangement."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Hugo tried not to look at Scorpius as he marched past the older man to the cubby where he'd left his clothes before the match. It was difficult not to feel vulnerable and exposed when he was still soapy and wearing only a damp towel but not making eye contact with the other helped a little bit. "I threw the match, exactly like I said I would. I didn't stop a single Slytherin shot! You may not realize this, since you're not even apart of the Quidditch team, but it's highly unlikely that a team could score enough points without catching the Snitch to actually win a match!"
Scorpius leaned back, turning just enough on his seat to keep Hugo in his sights and to make sure Hugo knew he was watching him. It wasn't that he liked what he saw but he knew that it made Hugo uncomfortable. "Let's just say next time you better make sure that Gryffindor loses, I don't care what you have to do. That was the terms of our agreement."
"But it wasn't!" Anxiously Hugo met Scorpius' eyes, desperation bleeding through the angry visage he was trying to mount. "I can't do that, I'm just the Keeper! I just guard the goals!"
"Well you'd better find a way or I'll just have to let the whole school know everything that I know about you." He looked Hugo up and down slowly, tracing the boyish angles of his body and the slight yet defined musculature beneath freckled skin, and knew the Weasley was squirming. "You obviously have a lot to be embarrassed about."
A flush crept up Hugo's neck and bloomed on his cheeks. He knotted the towel more tightly around his waist and concentrated on still getting dressed without having to show anymore skin. At least he tried to, Scorpius was a horrible distraction. "Don't do that! Don't look at me like that and don't...don't open your filthy mouth! Why do you even care? You're not on the Slytherin Quidditch team, you don't even care about the game!"
"But you do," Scorpius reminded him.
"You're a real..." Hugo bit back a curse and pulled on a shirt followed by a jumper, anything to bide time before he would be expected to answer again. He could feel Scorpius' eyes on him and it made his skin crawl. Talking to him was even worse. "Fine," he said finally feeling like a first class coward. "The next game I'll make sure Gryffindor loses."
"And every game after that." Scorpius added cheerfully.
Grudgingly, through clenched teeth, Hugo repeated, "and every game after that".
"You're such a good boy." When Scorpius ruffled his hair, Hugo jerked away and snarled despite the fact that it only made him seem more like the dog he was being treated as. "Now put your pants on, you look ridiculous standing there like that."
Hugo wasn't sure if he'd gone to the library to get Rose off his back or because his homework would give him something to keep his mind busy but once Scorpius had left him alone and he’d successfully gotten all of his clothes on that was exactly where he went. He'd collected a few books for his Charms essay due after the upcoming weekend and struggled to make some decent headway. Just like the locker room earlier, however, the stillness of the library was far more potent than his tepid desire to finish his class work. Everyone there was so studious, speaking in whispers, minding their own business making sure it was a place he'd never fit into, even before he started having such weird thoughts and problems.
Instead of focusing on his work, Hugo found himself staring at Barton Pittiman, a Ravenclaw he’d partnered with in Potions before. He was sitting with a small group of his friends and while they were laughing and talking quietly to each other, the books opened in front of them told Hugo that they were also getting some work done. It wasn’t envy over their productivity that made him stare, though, it was the way Barton was chewing on the end of his glasses that had caught Hugo’s eye. His lips looked soft around the leg and every now and then he would catch a glimpse of a pink tongue caressing the bend that fit behind his ear.
He couldn’t help but wonder if his mouth really was as supple as he thought and what it would be like to feel Barton’s lips brushing over his ear, the sound of his mellow voice mingling with warm breath. He wanted to know what that tongue would feel like sliding down the curve of his throat and over portions of his body far more south than his neck. Sitting up straight and forcing his eyes away, Hugo also wanted to know what had changed that he had started to think that way and more importantly how he could get it to stop and revert back to what he was before, to be normal again.
Realizing gawking in a lovesick way at decent people wasn’t going to answer any of questions or write his Charms essay for him, Hugo knew he wasn’t going to get anything done here like this. Convinced his idea was a good one and positive he could check Charms off his list of homework in waiting, Hugo packed up the books he'd found, checked them out, and took his class work outside where it was sunny and considerably louder.
There weren't too many shade trees left when he arrived so Hugo set up in the cloisters, resting against one of the many arches that lined the courtyard, a book opened up on his thighs. It didn't take him long to decide this definitely had been a good idea. It was sunny and warm and the light, sweet smelling breeze that came up from the Herbology greenhouses made it easy for him to think good thoughts that did not revolve around masculine tongues, torsos, bums, or worse!
Hugo wasn't sure how long he'd been reading, taking notes, and brainstorming ideas, certainly longer than he had at any one time in the past few weeks, when he was interrupted. Vaguely, he heard a distant "Four!" carried on the wind but the subsequent onslaught was a lot more difficult to ignore. He was being stabbed repeatedly and with a shout he jumped and very nearly fell off his perch, swatting at the flock of attackers that had surrounded and charged him. He caught one, crinkling what felt like paper in his fingers.
"Huh?" Opening his palm up in front of him, Hugo saw the remains of a crumbled, lifeless paper airplane. It's still active and alive fellows, like a swarm of Doxies, continued to stab and prick him until their paper noses bent themselves into uselessness.
"Sit!"
The passed order had the remaining assailants dropping dead in mid air and falling down all around him. Hugo looked up, still perplexed, and promptly grimaced in the way of one caught in a place they didn't want to be in but also couldn't be rude in order to escape. Running towards him were a pair of identical Ravenclaw boys, their wide sleepy eyes locked on him. Hugo quickly came to terms with the knowledge that they had seen him and it was far too late to make any sort of escape. He quickly forced his mouth into some semblance of a smile.
"Hey...guys," Hugo did his best to be jovial but it was difficult. It wasn't that he didn't like Lorcan or Lysander, in fact the twins had been a common fixture in his life growing up since both of their parents were such close friends. The Scamander kids were good, nice, generous and forgiving, all very good qualities, but they were also eccentric, strange, and down right creepy in the opinion of his cousin Albus. They were the rare type of people that no matter how much time you spent together you could still never be quite completely prepared to handle them.
While Hugo wasn't entirely sure which brother was which, he had a pretty good idea once he realized that one of them was wearing a uniform that was distinctly not his, mostly because instead of trousers, the twin was wearing a skirt. "Wait...Lysander, why are you wearing a girl's uniform?"
"What?" Lysander's milky blue eyes blinked and he looked down at himself, smoothing his fingers over the gray pleated skirt and reached down to tug up a sock that had slouched over his slender calf while running. "Oh, this. It was all that I had in my chest when I woke up this morning."
Hugo followed Lysander's fingers, noting that his legs weren't clean as he had initially thought, it was just that the hair was so fine and pale it blended in with his skin. When he realized he shouldn't be contemplating another boy's legs, he shook his head. "Why didn't Lorcan just give you a pair of his-" Hugo's words caught in his throat as he looked up and found both twins watching him, well into what was considered his personal space, as if studying him. Had they caught him staring? He hoped his embarrassment wasn't obvious but his face felt hot even to him. "Trousers," he finished although a noticeable silence had already passed between words.
"I don't mind," Lysander answered, carrying on as if nothing was at all amiss allowing Hugo to once again relax. Playing with the ends of his skirt again, Lysander turned a little bit.
"He kind of likes it," Lorcan interjected as if he and Lysander were sharing the same sentence and experience.
"It's airy," Lysander agreed.
"Liberating." Lorcan added.
"Right." Hugo wasn't quite sure what one was supposed to say after that. He couldn't think of any other bloke in the school that would have the guts to run around in a girl's uniform. He couldn't believe the teachers hadn't made him change. It was kind of inspiring, actually. It wasn't that he wanted to start wearing a skirt himself or anything but the fact that Lysander could without any worry as to what anyone else may think or say about him behind his back was laudable. He could think of only a few people he knew with that kind of self-confidence and absolutely none of them were teenagers. He wished he had even an ounce of that bravery, he might not be stuck in his current predicament if that were the case.
"You know this is how people communicate at the Ministry," Lorcan and Lysander had crouched around him, Lysander with no apparent concern for posture despite his present attire, and began collecting the paper airplanes.
Lorcan began unfolding one carefully, smoothing the folds out over the ground. "We just can't seem to get them to behave."
"They're very unruly." Lysander agreed in a soft, lamenting tone of voice.
"Impudent," Lorcan agreed.
"Impetuous."
"Rowdy."
"Headstrong."
"Yeah, I get it, I get it." Hugo held his hand out to stop the twins' tangent and they looked up at him, in unison, as if they had forgotten he was there and were startled by his sudden words. "Er...but why are you, I mean, what are you doing with them?"
"It's just an experiment." Lorcan answered and once all of the planes were unfolded and smoothed out, including the one Hugo had caught, he held a hand out to Lysander who produced a large, heavy looking book from his back pack and handed it over.
"Although I think we might want to try folding them into shapes different from planes," Lysander grinned, leaning over his brother as he pressed the pages in the book. Hugo noticed that when Lysander put his hands on his thighs like that it hitched up the hem of his skirt enough to give him a clear view of his milky thigh.
"Origami is trying, though," Lorcan pressed the cover of the book down on the pages as if he were trying to squeeze the life out of the charmed loose leaf.
"Difficile," Lysander laughed.
"Formidable."
"Hard, yeah, I see." Hugo circumvented them again except when he opened his mouth this time the twins gave him another weird look.
"That's not true," Lysander disagreed, straightening out.
"It's difficult, not hard." Lorcan corrected.
"That's proper grammar." Lysander reached out to pat Hugo on the shoulder gently. "Don't worry, a lot of people make that mistake."
"Oh." Hugo found it impossible to get annoyed at being corrected by either of them, unlike whenever Rose corrected him about similar errors. It was probably because even when the twins were talking to him it still seemed like he wasn't really a part of the conversation. "Maybe you just need to practice," he suggested, a plan that seemed to interest the pair of boys. Lorcan nodded in agreement and passed the book over to his brother.
"That's a very good idea, Hugo," now with his hands free, Lorcan reached out and snagged a hold of his twins' fingers, turning and pulling Lysander along with him.
"I'm going to fold an origami mouse!" Lysander announced, more to his sibling than to Hugo, especially since he was now being pulled away back towards the castle.
"Bye, Hugo," both twins added suddenly, simultaneously, looking back to wave at him.
A little stunned, Hugo had almost missed his opportunity to wave back, sneaking the farewell gesture in there almost last minute. "Yeah, see you guys later!" Watching the pair of them leave, he contemplated their intertwined fingers with a tilt to his head.
There were rumors, all sorts of rumors, that the twins were closer than twins ought to be and neither of them did anything to deter such accusations. Walking around hand in hand certainly wouldn't help any sort of denial and was enough to make Hugo wonder if it was true when he never really had before. Maybe, he thought, it wasn't wonder so much as hope. It would definitely be nice to have someone to talk to about some of the things he was going through, someone that didn't want to black mail him because of it.
After the twins had gone, Hugo was dismayed to find he couldn't get into the same zone he'd been in before in regards to his school work, not with images of Lysander and his thighs dancing around in the forefront of his memory. Although once he looked over the notes he'd compiled and the amount of work he had managed to get done before being interrupted, he felt he'd been productive enough for one day and gathered up his things to leave.
When he finally stepped through the portrait and into the Gryffindor common room he was relieved to see his girlfriend sitting on a couch by the hearth talking with a few of her friends. When they saw him approach they smiled brightly and made quick their escape to leave the two of them alone. The way Abbey looked at him as he approached made it obvious that they had been talking about him. "Hey," dropping his books on the ground, Hugo plopped down on the couch next to her and wormed out of his shoes.
"Hello, handsome," Abbey smiled and promptly took his arm for balance, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. They'd only been seeing each other for a week and a half but still she greeted him in such a manner every time they saw each other even if they had just been apart for a very short time. "I heard the most ridiculous thing about you today." Instantly, Hugo felt the sick feeling of dread creep over him and cautiously looked up at her.
"You did?" He asked gravely.
Laughing, Abbey leaned back in the corner of the couch and pulled Hugo down against her so he could rest his head against her. "Don't look so serious, I won't tell anyone you were caught actually studying!."
"Oh, that." Relieved, Hugo closed his eyes as he felt her fingers begin to comb slowly through his hair. Folding his arms over his chest he weighed the possibilities of taking a little nap right there with her. She would make it easy being so soft, smelling so pretty, and doing such comforting things exactly like this. It made him feel absolutely worn out. Besides, she was a girl and if he got used to these sorts of things maybe someday he’d actually look forward to them.
"It's a good thing," Abbey encouraged, speaking softly as if sensing the sudden change in mood. "Rose informed me earlier today that if I kept you from your studies she wouldn't allow it. She said she'd have to take drastic measures."
Hugo laughed and didn't doubt it for a minute. In fact, he could easily see Rose saying those exact same words. He could even hear the scolding tone in her voice.
"We can talk about that later," she murmured in a low tone of voice as she continued to pet his hair. "Why don't you take a little nap before dinner."
"I just might do that," Hugo murmured even though he was already halfway there. Abbey Harper, he decided, was a perfect girlfriend. She was pretty with long, wavy pitch black hair and a lovely heart shaped face with pink cheeks. She was smart, funny, so far patient, and definitely not a prude but at the same time, he just wasn't attracted to her, although he was trying very hard to be, and it definitely bothered him that he wasn't.
Unlike the stories he'd heard about his father at Hogwarts, Hugo hadn't had any problems getting girlfriends. In fact, he was quite popular in his House and on one occasion he'd even found himself listed as number three on the top five hottest Gryffindor guys on a note passed between girls in class. Of course, just because a lot of women were attracted to him didn’t mean he was attracted to them. Whenever he would start dating someone, things would go well, they would have fun and joke around and he liked spending time with them, but the moment things became serious, the moment one of them wanted more than a snog, everything went down hill.
At first he had thought it was just the girls themselves. He'd always found something wrong with them. They were too clingy or too distant, too conservative or too liberal, too demanding or too high maintenance or a hundred other excuses he'd come up with over time. Only until recently had he begin to wonder if the problem wasn't with them at all so much as it was with himself. After all, any of the personality flaws he’d invented for any of his past flings wouldn’t explain why the feeling of breasts pressed against his chest grossed him out.
Slowly, he became aware of the fact that he found certain traits attractive in his guy friends. He found himself thinking on more than one occasion that his roommates were hot, that one looked good without his shirt on and that other one had a really nice smile, but convinced himself it didn't mean anything. That he could appreciate these things in others didn't necessarily mean he was attracted to them. The idea of fooling around with another guy didn't do anything for him. Sex with another guy and what it would entail was something he didn't think he would ever be able to stand. The only erection he wanted in his hands was his own. Just because he'd tasted himself once didn't mean anything either, that was just normal curiosity. When he whacked off it wasn't to fantasies of naked blokes, that was for sure!
And yet, at the same time, he didn't get off to the thoughts of nude women, either. It was always a faceless partner, bodiless, identity-less.
"Hey," Abbey's soft voice interrupted the path his mind had been traveling down and he felt a slight pressure between his legs as her fingers curled around him over his trousers.
Hugo's eyes snapped open and he bolted upright, shoving her hand away quickly. "What are you doing? Are you crazy?" They were in the middle of the common room!
"It's okay," Abbey assured him with an impish laugh and reached for him with her other hand. "Everyone went to dinner, we're all alone here!" She made contact again and scooted closer towards him, settling a molten gaze on him as she whispered, delighted, "you're pretty hard. Were you dreaming about me?"
Finding himself horrified, Hugo tried to restrain her hands but Abbey was difficult to contain, taking his resistance as a game. "Don't worry, Hugo, I've done this before I know exactly what I'm doing." She assured him and crawled into his lap. When he managed to trap a wrist she pulled his hand away and guided it instead up her thighs and beneath her skirt where it was warm, soft, and a little damp. Abbey made a small little breathy noise of approval and pressed against his fingers.
"Oh, god!" Hugo cursed, his fingers paralyzed and a shiver running through his body. It wasn't in pleasure, it was entirely different and the only thing he could think to liken it to was the way Scorpius Malfoy made him feel in the locker room the other day. Disgust? Please, don't let this be disgust! The room seemed to get smaller, closing in on him as Abbey's moans filled his ears, replaying over and over again coupled with the feeling of his hand pressed against her crotch. He needed to get away and as soon as possible. He forced himself up, shoving Abbey away and regretfully into a table but he didn't care. Hugo swiped his hand away, hiding it behind his back where he could rub the offended fingers clean on his shirt
"Hugo!" Abbey shrieked and this time her hiss was one of pain as she caught the corner of the table against her back. "What's wrong with you?"
'What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?' he wanted to shout back at her but he knew that would only make it worse. She pulled herself up, without his help he realized a few minutes too late, and glared at him both humiliated and angry at the same time. The only thing he could do was stare back helplessly at her. What was he supposed to say, after all? 'Sorry, Abbey, it's just that that really grossed me out. Maybe if you had been another bloke things could have been different'.
"Well?" She demanded again. "Are you going to answer me or are you just going to stand there like a big dumb oaf?"
"Abbey," Hugo lamented when he realized the embarrassment had won out over the anger and tears had began to well in her eyes. "Don't..." he reached for her in an attempt to at least comfort her, he could do that providing she didn't try to shove his hands under her skirt again, but she just pulled out of his reach.
"You're such a jerk!" She shouted and burst into tears finally, running up the stairs towards the girls' dorm.
Without thinking, Hugo chased after her and managed to claim a valiant four steps after her before with a snap the stairs flattened into a slide and he fell face first against them, sliding back down to the ground. "Abbey!" he called after her, having forgotten all about the charmed stairs to keep boys out of the girls' room. When an answer to his call didn't come, he added a pathetic, "I'm sorry!" and when there was still no response he sighed, gathered up his things, and slunk out of the dorm.
NEXT, Part 3,Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 final
Beta: Rissa
Pairing/s: Lorcan/Hugo/Lysander
Rating: R
Warning(s): incest, slash, het, bad language and hate crimes!
Word Count: 47314
Summary: Hugo faces the fact that he's attracted to other men and despite help from the Scamander twins, he does everything he can to protect his secret.
Hugo waited outside the locker room while the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team celebrated their latest win. It was a good idea for more than one reason. First, he knew he wouldn't have a good explanation for why, as the team's Keeper, he hadn't managed to block a single Quaffle thrown at him during the course of the match. Again and again the red leather ball had sailed through one ring after another and each time he couldn't seem to block any of them. He knew that should be his main concern, what his teammates would think about his disturbing incompetence on the field when every time during practice his record for saves was nearly perfect, but couldn’t help but be distracted with the other reason he was avoiding the locker room. After all, the inconsistency wasn't so much a mystery to him and had everything to do with the other reason for his distance.
The knowledge that on the other side of the stone wall that cooled the sweat on his back and shoulders was a half dozen fit, sweaty boys stripping out of their dirtied uniforms and getting into the shower was something he had become increasingly interested in. Despite his every effort to change the pattern of his thoughts he couldn’t seem to help but picture playful dirty banter and soap bubbles sliding down limber, muscled flesh. The day dreams were so vivid even though the rest of his body had chilled his face remained hot and red.
Both embarrassing trends had been an ever growing problem for longer than Hugo cared to admit and were dismally related to one another in a way he couldn't reveal to anyone. It was just too humiliating, so much so that he couldn't even stand to recount the memory even if he could recall it in agonizing detail. A flash of movement had caught his eye and even though he had been out past curfew, his stupid insatiable curiosity had gotten the best of him and he had to have a look. What he had seen burned in his mind in a way he both wished he could forget and made his trousers a tad more snug than he liked. White fingers twisted in dark hair, a hiss of breath, an arched back, a flash of pale, piercing eyes.
"Argh!" Hugo growled at himself as the familiar feeling of shame washed over him. He dug his fingers in his hair, still damp from the match, and vigorously shook his head as if it would chase the unwanted thoughts away. "Stop it! Stop thinking about it. You're such an idiot! Why did you even do that?"
"Quidditch should be the least of your worries, Hugo Weasley!"
The shrill voice echoed off the hallway around him and dug into him like white hot knives. Hugo groaned again and without even looking turned on his heels and headed for the castle regardless of the fact that he smelled like a dirty gym sock. An embarrassing memory, a humiliating defeat, and now his sister coming to drag him by the ear, lecturing the whole way, into the library. He hadn't thought his day could get any worse but apparently the misery had just begun!
"Don't walk away from me!" Rose managed to still sound insulted and infuriated even though escaping was her brother's usual reaction to the particular tone of voice she'd assaulted him with. Jogging to catch up, Rose grabbed Hugo by the elbow and spun him around and began the second wave of the attack, a half pout half stern frown that Hugo recognized as an expression belonging to his mother whenever she strongly disapproved of behavior she considered thoughtlessly stupid and unnecessary. "Did you know that if a Troll child is in a pit and it starts to rain it's too stupid to get out and would eventually drown if it rained enough? Did you know that's what T stands for when you get it as a mark? A T stands for troll meaning you're as stupid as a troll! How is it possible for you to get a T in Muggle Studies, Hugo? A T in Muggle studies with our Granddad?"
Hugo knew that once he was caught it was just better to let Rose get her lecture out of her system. He knew that once she said everything she had to say she would probably get frustrated by his lack of response and his blank look and storm off again. Today, however, seemed to be the day of bad decisions and before he could stop himself his mouth went off without waiting for his brain. "I don't care about Muggle Studies, Rose! No one cares about Muggle Studies! It's the most useless class in the curriculum. Not to mention the fact that what I get in any of my classes isn't any of your business!"
"You really are daft!" Rose shrieked, causing Hugo to roll his eyes and knowing he'd only made things worse he slouched back against the wall again. "Of course Muggle Studies matters! All of our classes matter, what grades you earn here and on your NEWTS determine what kind of job you'll be able to get and what kind of life you'll lead, unless you actually want to be a mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging idiot the rest of your life! Not to mention the fact that being a wizard in this day and age means you have to be able to function in both Wizarding and Muggle society!"
As swiftly as it had come, Hurricane Rose seemed to ebb quickly and her unusually short speech was followed by a silence that made Hugo open his eyes and look down at her curiously. His sister, shorter than he was even though she was a year older, looked hurt and sad, her small shoulders slumped. When she looked up at him again, all of the soft emotions she’d displayed to worry him vanished into serious concern. "I just don't know what's going on with you anymore, Hugo. We used to be so close but this year it's just different. I feel like we're getting farther and farther apart. Your grades are slipping and then there’s the game game today and sometimes in the Great Hall you seem like you're off in your own little world. You didn't always used to be so in your head. Is it because of Lindsay? You two were together for a long time."
Hugo cut her off with another groan and he sighed in a long suffering way. "If I've told you once I've told you a hundred times, I'm fine. It's not like we were going to get married or anything, you know? And I'm seeing Abbey now so..." He shrugged his shoulders, not quite sure if that explanation would be enough to satisfy his nosey sister although he doubted it would. Even if she was annoying he didn't want her to worry about him. He didn't want to hurt her with the knowledge that there was something going on in his life that he couldn't share with her when they'd already shared everything else.
The fact that once Rose Weasley caught a whiff of something that peaked her interest meant she would pursue it like a rabid animal was a pretty good reason to maintain his privacy. The last thing he needed was to have to explain to his sister that lately instead of his girlfriend, short uniform skirts, and the latest copy of Playwizard Finnigan had somehow gotten a hold of, he’d caught himself staring at the backsides of his male team mates during Quidditch practice, about how he’d touched himself when he heard one of his housemates doing it late at night when they were supposed to be sleeping, and wondering if kissing a bloke was at all like kissing a girl. He could tell by the look on her face, though, that she wasn't convinced so he spat out the first thing that came to mind.
"It's Quidditch!" He announced, pointing down the hall. "At practice and now the game, I just can't seem to-" his voice trailed off as the door to the locker room swung open for his exiting team mates, freshly scrubbed and laughing at something he hadn't been in the locker room to catch. He felt his heart jump into his throat as their mirth, for the most part, died. Wyatt Caldwell, Chaser, lead the way right between the two of them causing Rose to jump back or get pushed over and the rest of the team followed his bad example.
"Good job, Weasley." Hugo heard Liam Finnigan call and then, from somewhere in the middle of a line, a disembodied 'you suck!' that had everyone laughing again.
"I don't have time for this," Hugo snarled at no one in particular and left Rose there in the hallway, disappearing into the locker room where he knew she wouldn't follow. He hoped.
The silence that persisted broken only by the sound of dripping water from the shower head, was as much of a relief as it was unwelcomed. He was glad Rose hadn’t followed him, giving him a moment’s peace, until he remembered that whenever he was alone lately and it was quiet, his mind would wander and he would start thinking. He hated thinking! Especially now when all of his thoughts went to a place he didn't want them to go. No matter how he tried to distract himself by concentrating on other things, like a running inner monologue of what he was doing as he got out of his uniform or what he thought he was going to have for dinner that night, his mind inevitably took a wrong turn and ended back in the gutter.
Despite the knowledge that it would be a vein attempt, Hugo attempted to distract himself with a shower. Hot water beat down on his back, soon filling the small shower room, and he pressed his hands against the slick, soapy tiled walls watching water and lather swirl down the drain. White fingers twisted in dark hair, a hiss of breath, an arched back, a flash of pale, piercing eyes. Even though he'd been a voyeur in the midst of what he'd witnessed, it was easy for him to interject himself into the situation until it was a tongue running down his body. The muscles in his abdomen jumped at the sensual and flirtatious affection imagined completely in his own mind. He could feel the hot breath breaking against damp skin, heard himself gasp, his back arch, those pale, piercing eyes. Then, suddenly, he realized there really was something inching slowly down the length of his body, moving disturbingly south. "Stop it! Get out!" Hugo's eyes snapped open and he forced his hand back up his chest, pushing the soap with it, going over his skin for the purpose of cleanliness and not to make things more dirty.
Behind him came a laugh that sent a sickening weight straight down to his guts and quickly Hugo reached for his towel despite the fact that he was still soapy and the water was still on, and quickly wrapped the terry cloth around his hips. "What do you want, Malfoy," he snarled and turned to face the Slytherin who had snuck up on him, pushing his wet hair back from his forehead.
Scorpius Malfoy, dressed completely in his school uniform and smug smirk, stood just out of the reach of the water his arms folded over his chest and a confident cock to his hip. If it wasn't for the fact that the very sight of the older boy wanted to make him commit violent acts of thoughtless rage, Hugo might have found him attractive. He had thought Scorpius was good looking with his refined aristocratic features, oozing confidence, and that air of something absolutely unattainable, a notion that a disturbing amount of girls in the school also felt, but then the Slytherin had to open his mouth and ruin everything. Besides, he reminded himself and was disgusted that it was such an after thought, Scorpius was a boy and he, Hugo Weasley, would never ever in a hundred million years think of another bloke that way!
"I just wanted to congratulate you," Scorpius assured him, obviously doing his best not to laugh. "Your match against Slytherin was just, well, brilliant." He clapped slowly, sarcastically, and when a murderous Hugo turned his back to him to shut off the water, the blond retreated a few steps to have a seat on the end of a bench. "Although it didn't really have the outcome I thought it would. Obviously you weren't trying hard enough. It makes me wonder if you're serious at all about the terms of our arrangement."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Hugo tried not to look at Scorpius as he marched past the older man to the cubby where he'd left his clothes before the match. It was difficult not to feel vulnerable and exposed when he was still soapy and wearing only a damp towel but not making eye contact with the other helped a little bit. "I threw the match, exactly like I said I would. I didn't stop a single Slytherin shot! You may not realize this, since you're not even apart of the Quidditch team, but it's highly unlikely that a team could score enough points without catching the Snitch to actually win a match!"
Scorpius leaned back, turning just enough on his seat to keep Hugo in his sights and to make sure Hugo knew he was watching him. It wasn't that he liked what he saw but he knew that it made Hugo uncomfortable. "Let's just say next time you better make sure that Gryffindor loses, I don't care what you have to do. That was the terms of our agreement."
"But it wasn't!" Anxiously Hugo met Scorpius' eyes, desperation bleeding through the angry visage he was trying to mount. "I can't do that, I'm just the Keeper! I just guard the goals!"
"Well you'd better find a way or I'll just have to let the whole school know everything that I know about you." He looked Hugo up and down slowly, tracing the boyish angles of his body and the slight yet defined musculature beneath freckled skin, and knew the Weasley was squirming. "You obviously have a lot to be embarrassed about."
A flush crept up Hugo's neck and bloomed on his cheeks. He knotted the towel more tightly around his waist and concentrated on still getting dressed without having to show anymore skin. At least he tried to, Scorpius was a horrible distraction. "Don't do that! Don't look at me like that and don't...don't open your filthy mouth! Why do you even care? You're not on the Slytherin Quidditch team, you don't even care about the game!"
"But you do," Scorpius reminded him.
"You're a real..." Hugo bit back a curse and pulled on a shirt followed by a jumper, anything to bide time before he would be expected to answer again. He could feel Scorpius' eyes on him and it made his skin crawl. Talking to him was even worse. "Fine," he said finally feeling like a first class coward. "The next game I'll make sure Gryffindor loses."
"And every game after that." Scorpius added cheerfully.
Grudgingly, through clenched teeth, Hugo repeated, "and every game after that".
"You're such a good boy." When Scorpius ruffled his hair, Hugo jerked away and snarled despite the fact that it only made him seem more like the dog he was being treated as. "Now put your pants on, you look ridiculous standing there like that."
Hugo wasn't sure if he'd gone to the library to get Rose off his back or because his homework would give him something to keep his mind busy but once Scorpius had left him alone and he’d successfully gotten all of his clothes on that was exactly where he went. He'd collected a few books for his Charms essay due after the upcoming weekend and struggled to make some decent headway. Just like the locker room earlier, however, the stillness of the library was far more potent than his tepid desire to finish his class work. Everyone there was so studious, speaking in whispers, minding their own business making sure it was a place he'd never fit into, even before he started having such weird thoughts and problems.
Instead of focusing on his work, Hugo found himself staring at Barton Pittiman, a Ravenclaw he’d partnered with in Potions before. He was sitting with a small group of his friends and while they were laughing and talking quietly to each other, the books opened in front of them told Hugo that they were also getting some work done. It wasn’t envy over their productivity that made him stare, though, it was the way Barton was chewing on the end of his glasses that had caught Hugo’s eye. His lips looked soft around the leg and every now and then he would catch a glimpse of a pink tongue caressing the bend that fit behind his ear.
He couldn’t help but wonder if his mouth really was as supple as he thought and what it would be like to feel Barton’s lips brushing over his ear, the sound of his mellow voice mingling with warm breath. He wanted to know what that tongue would feel like sliding down the curve of his throat and over portions of his body far more south than his neck. Sitting up straight and forcing his eyes away, Hugo also wanted to know what had changed that he had started to think that way and more importantly how he could get it to stop and revert back to what he was before, to be normal again.
Realizing gawking in a lovesick way at decent people wasn’t going to answer any of questions or write his Charms essay for him, Hugo knew he wasn’t going to get anything done here like this. Convinced his idea was a good one and positive he could check Charms off his list of homework in waiting, Hugo packed up the books he'd found, checked them out, and took his class work outside where it was sunny and considerably louder.
There weren't too many shade trees left when he arrived so Hugo set up in the cloisters, resting against one of the many arches that lined the courtyard, a book opened up on his thighs. It didn't take him long to decide this definitely had been a good idea. It was sunny and warm and the light, sweet smelling breeze that came up from the Herbology greenhouses made it easy for him to think good thoughts that did not revolve around masculine tongues, torsos, bums, or worse!
Hugo wasn't sure how long he'd been reading, taking notes, and brainstorming ideas, certainly longer than he had at any one time in the past few weeks, when he was interrupted. Vaguely, he heard a distant "Four!" carried on the wind but the subsequent onslaught was a lot more difficult to ignore. He was being stabbed repeatedly and with a shout he jumped and very nearly fell off his perch, swatting at the flock of attackers that had surrounded and charged him. He caught one, crinkling what felt like paper in his fingers.
"Huh?" Opening his palm up in front of him, Hugo saw the remains of a crumbled, lifeless paper airplane. It's still active and alive fellows, like a swarm of Doxies, continued to stab and prick him until their paper noses bent themselves into uselessness.
"Sit!"
The passed order had the remaining assailants dropping dead in mid air and falling down all around him. Hugo looked up, still perplexed, and promptly grimaced in the way of one caught in a place they didn't want to be in but also couldn't be rude in order to escape. Running towards him were a pair of identical Ravenclaw boys, their wide sleepy eyes locked on him. Hugo quickly came to terms with the knowledge that they had seen him and it was far too late to make any sort of escape. He quickly forced his mouth into some semblance of a smile.
"Hey...guys," Hugo did his best to be jovial but it was difficult. It wasn't that he didn't like Lorcan or Lysander, in fact the twins had been a common fixture in his life growing up since both of their parents were such close friends. The Scamander kids were good, nice, generous and forgiving, all very good qualities, but they were also eccentric, strange, and down right creepy in the opinion of his cousin Albus. They were the rare type of people that no matter how much time you spent together you could still never be quite completely prepared to handle them.
While Hugo wasn't entirely sure which brother was which, he had a pretty good idea once he realized that one of them was wearing a uniform that was distinctly not his, mostly because instead of trousers, the twin was wearing a skirt. "Wait...Lysander, why are you wearing a girl's uniform?"
"What?" Lysander's milky blue eyes blinked and he looked down at himself, smoothing his fingers over the gray pleated skirt and reached down to tug up a sock that had slouched over his slender calf while running. "Oh, this. It was all that I had in my chest when I woke up this morning."
Hugo followed Lysander's fingers, noting that his legs weren't clean as he had initially thought, it was just that the hair was so fine and pale it blended in with his skin. When he realized he shouldn't be contemplating another boy's legs, he shook his head. "Why didn't Lorcan just give you a pair of his-" Hugo's words caught in his throat as he looked up and found both twins watching him, well into what was considered his personal space, as if studying him. Had they caught him staring? He hoped his embarrassment wasn't obvious but his face felt hot even to him. "Trousers," he finished although a noticeable silence had already passed between words.
"I don't mind," Lysander answered, carrying on as if nothing was at all amiss allowing Hugo to once again relax. Playing with the ends of his skirt again, Lysander turned a little bit.
"He kind of likes it," Lorcan interjected as if he and Lysander were sharing the same sentence and experience.
"It's airy," Lysander agreed.
"Liberating." Lorcan added.
"Right." Hugo wasn't quite sure what one was supposed to say after that. He couldn't think of any other bloke in the school that would have the guts to run around in a girl's uniform. He couldn't believe the teachers hadn't made him change. It was kind of inspiring, actually. It wasn't that he wanted to start wearing a skirt himself or anything but the fact that Lysander could without any worry as to what anyone else may think or say about him behind his back was laudable. He could think of only a few people he knew with that kind of self-confidence and absolutely none of them were teenagers. He wished he had even an ounce of that bravery, he might not be stuck in his current predicament if that were the case.
"You know this is how people communicate at the Ministry," Lorcan and Lysander had crouched around him, Lysander with no apparent concern for posture despite his present attire, and began collecting the paper airplanes.
Lorcan began unfolding one carefully, smoothing the folds out over the ground. "We just can't seem to get them to behave."
"They're very unruly." Lysander agreed in a soft, lamenting tone of voice.
"Impudent," Lorcan agreed.
"Impetuous."
"Rowdy."
"Headstrong."
"Yeah, I get it, I get it." Hugo held his hand out to stop the twins' tangent and they looked up at him, in unison, as if they had forgotten he was there and were startled by his sudden words. "Er...but why are you, I mean, what are you doing with them?"
"It's just an experiment." Lorcan answered and once all of the planes were unfolded and smoothed out, including the one Hugo had caught, he held a hand out to Lysander who produced a large, heavy looking book from his back pack and handed it over.
"Although I think we might want to try folding them into shapes different from planes," Lysander grinned, leaning over his brother as he pressed the pages in the book. Hugo noticed that when Lysander put his hands on his thighs like that it hitched up the hem of his skirt enough to give him a clear view of his milky thigh.
"Origami is trying, though," Lorcan pressed the cover of the book down on the pages as if he were trying to squeeze the life out of the charmed loose leaf.
"Difficile," Lysander laughed.
"Formidable."
"Hard, yeah, I see." Hugo circumvented them again except when he opened his mouth this time the twins gave him another weird look.
"That's not true," Lysander disagreed, straightening out.
"It's difficult, not hard." Lorcan corrected.
"That's proper grammar." Lysander reached out to pat Hugo on the shoulder gently. "Don't worry, a lot of people make that mistake."
"Oh." Hugo found it impossible to get annoyed at being corrected by either of them, unlike whenever Rose corrected him about similar errors. It was probably because even when the twins were talking to him it still seemed like he wasn't really a part of the conversation. "Maybe you just need to practice," he suggested, a plan that seemed to interest the pair of boys. Lorcan nodded in agreement and passed the book over to his brother.
"That's a very good idea, Hugo," now with his hands free, Lorcan reached out and snagged a hold of his twins' fingers, turning and pulling Lysander along with him.
"I'm going to fold an origami mouse!" Lysander announced, more to his sibling than to Hugo, especially since he was now being pulled away back towards the castle.
"Bye, Hugo," both twins added suddenly, simultaneously, looking back to wave at him.
A little stunned, Hugo had almost missed his opportunity to wave back, sneaking the farewell gesture in there almost last minute. "Yeah, see you guys later!" Watching the pair of them leave, he contemplated their intertwined fingers with a tilt to his head.
There were rumors, all sorts of rumors, that the twins were closer than twins ought to be and neither of them did anything to deter such accusations. Walking around hand in hand certainly wouldn't help any sort of denial and was enough to make Hugo wonder if it was true when he never really had before. Maybe, he thought, it wasn't wonder so much as hope. It would definitely be nice to have someone to talk to about some of the things he was going through, someone that didn't want to black mail him because of it.
After the twins had gone, Hugo was dismayed to find he couldn't get into the same zone he'd been in before in regards to his school work, not with images of Lysander and his thighs dancing around in the forefront of his memory. Although once he looked over the notes he'd compiled and the amount of work he had managed to get done before being interrupted, he felt he'd been productive enough for one day and gathered up his things to leave.
When he finally stepped through the portrait and into the Gryffindor common room he was relieved to see his girlfriend sitting on a couch by the hearth talking with a few of her friends. When they saw him approach they smiled brightly and made quick their escape to leave the two of them alone. The way Abbey looked at him as he approached made it obvious that they had been talking about him. "Hey," dropping his books on the ground, Hugo plopped down on the couch next to her and wormed out of his shoes.
"Hello, handsome," Abbey smiled and promptly took his arm for balance, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. They'd only been seeing each other for a week and a half but still she greeted him in such a manner every time they saw each other even if they had just been apart for a very short time. "I heard the most ridiculous thing about you today." Instantly, Hugo felt the sick feeling of dread creep over him and cautiously looked up at her.
"You did?" He asked gravely.
Laughing, Abbey leaned back in the corner of the couch and pulled Hugo down against her so he could rest his head against her. "Don't look so serious, I won't tell anyone you were caught actually studying!."
"Oh, that." Relieved, Hugo closed his eyes as he felt her fingers begin to comb slowly through his hair. Folding his arms over his chest he weighed the possibilities of taking a little nap right there with her. She would make it easy being so soft, smelling so pretty, and doing such comforting things exactly like this. It made him feel absolutely worn out. Besides, she was a girl and if he got used to these sorts of things maybe someday he’d actually look forward to them.
"It's a good thing," Abbey encouraged, speaking softly as if sensing the sudden change in mood. "Rose informed me earlier today that if I kept you from your studies she wouldn't allow it. She said she'd have to take drastic measures."
Hugo laughed and didn't doubt it for a minute. In fact, he could easily see Rose saying those exact same words. He could even hear the scolding tone in her voice.
"We can talk about that later," she murmured in a low tone of voice as she continued to pet his hair. "Why don't you take a little nap before dinner."
"I just might do that," Hugo murmured even though he was already halfway there. Abbey Harper, he decided, was a perfect girlfriend. She was pretty with long, wavy pitch black hair and a lovely heart shaped face with pink cheeks. She was smart, funny, so far patient, and definitely not a prude but at the same time, he just wasn't attracted to her, although he was trying very hard to be, and it definitely bothered him that he wasn't.
Unlike the stories he'd heard about his father at Hogwarts, Hugo hadn't had any problems getting girlfriends. In fact, he was quite popular in his House and on one occasion he'd even found himself listed as number three on the top five hottest Gryffindor guys on a note passed between girls in class. Of course, just because a lot of women were attracted to him didn’t mean he was attracted to them. Whenever he would start dating someone, things would go well, they would have fun and joke around and he liked spending time with them, but the moment things became serious, the moment one of them wanted more than a snog, everything went down hill.
At first he had thought it was just the girls themselves. He'd always found something wrong with them. They were too clingy or too distant, too conservative or too liberal, too demanding or too high maintenance or a hundred other excuses he'd come up with over time. Only until recently had he begin to wonder if the problem wasn't with them at all so much as it was with himself. After all, any of the personality flaws he’d invented for any of his past flings wouldn’t explain why the feeling of breasts pressed against his chest grossed him out.
Slowly, he became aware of the fact that he found certain traits attractive in his guy friends. He found himself thinking on more than one occasion that his roommates were hot, that one looked good without his shirt on and that other one had a really nice smile, but convinced himself it didn't mean anything. That he could appreciate these things in others didn't necessarily mean he was attracted to them. The idea of fooling around with another guy didn't do anything for him. Sex with another guy and what it would entail was something he didn't think he would ever be able to stand. The only erection he wanted in his hands was his own. Just because he'd tasted himself once didn't mean anything either, that was just normal curiosity. When he whacked off it wasn't to fantasies of naked blokes, that was for sure!
And yet, at the same time, he didn't get off to the thoughts of nude women, either. It was always a faceless partner, bodiless, identity-less.
"Hey," Abbey's soft voice interrupted the path his mind had been traveling down and he felt a slight pressure between his legs as her fingers curled around him over his trousers.
Hugo's eyes snapped open and he bolted upright, shoving her hand away quickly. "What are you doing? Are you crazy?" They were in the middle of the common room!
"It's okay," Abbey assured him with an impish laugh and reached for him with her other hand. "Everyone went to dinner, we're all alone here!" She made contact again and scooted closer towards him, settling a molten gaze on him as she whispered, delighted, "you're pretty hard. Were you dreaming about me?"
Finding himself horrified, Hugo tried to restrain her hands but Abbey was difficult to contain, taking his resistance as a game. "Don't worry, Hugo, I've done this before I know exactly what I'm doing." She assured him and crawled into his lap. When he managed to trap a wrist she pulled his hand away and guided it instead up her thighs and beneath her skirt where it was warm, soft, and a little damp. Abbey made a small little breathy noise of approval and pressed against his fingers.
"Oh, god!" Hugo cursed, his fingers paralyzed and a shiver running through his body. It wasn't in pleasure, it was entirely different and the only thing he could think to liken it to was the way Scorpius Malfoy made him feel in the locker room the other day. Disgust? Please, don't let this be disgust! The room seemed to get smaller, closing in on him as Abbey's moans filled his ears, replaying over and over again coupled with the feeling of his hand pressed against her crotch. He needed to get away and as soon as possible. He forced himself up, shoving Abbey away and regretfully into a table but he didn't care. Hugo swiped his hand away, hiding it behind his back where he could rub the offended fingers clean on his shirt
"Hugo!" Abbey shrieked and this time her hiss was one of pain as she caught the corner of the table against her back. "What's wrong with you?"
'What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?' he wanted to shout back at her but he knew that would only make it worse. She pulled herself up, without his help he realized a few minutes too late, and glared at him both humiliated and angry at the same time. The only thing he could do was stare back helplessly at her. What was he supposed to say, after all? 'Sorry, Abbey, it's just that that really grossed me out. Maybe if you had been another bloke things could have been different'.
"Well?" She demanded again. "Are you going to answer me or are you just going to stand there like a big dumb oaf?"
"Abbey," Hugo lamented when he realized the embarrassment had won out over the anger and tears had began to well in her eyes. "Don't..." he reached for her in an attempt to at least comfort her, he could do that providing she didn't try to shove his hands under her skirt again, but she just pulled out of his reach.
"You're such a jerk!" She shouted and burst into tears finally, running up the stairs towards the girls' dorm.
Without thinking, Hugo chased after her and managed to claim a valiant four steps after her before with a snap the stairs flattened into a slide and he fell face first against them, sliding back down to the ground. "Abbey!" he called after her, having forgotten all about the charmed stairs to keep boys out of the girls' room. When an answer to his call didn't come, he added a pathetic, "I'm sorry!" and when there was still no response he sighed, gathered up his things, and slunk out of the dorm.
NEXT, Part 3,Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 final