(no subject)

Jan 14, 2008 07:24

I think me and sei-kou-ki just collab'd a Lussuria/Xanxus fic.

R for language and Lussuria?



sei_kou-ki:

So Xanxus wakes up to Lussuria cooing at him and stroking his thighs, pinky finger jutting outward as he draws circles on the wrinkles of his plain-but-really-fucking-expensive boxers; and obviously, the only logical thing for Xanxus to do is to SHOVE THE FAG THE HELL OFF HIM and scream a whole lot of nonsense in Italian pertaining to trash and fags and trashy fags, but mostly it's just jibberish. Except doing so inadvertently overturns the breakfast-on-bed set there waiting for him, and suddenly there's this puddle of cereal and orange juice settled in this sea of bed sheets to wade through.

Covered in milk with a grown man dressed in a frilly pink apron on the floor beside him: the tell-tale signs of the start of a really bad fucking day.

Because it doesn't take long for Lussuria to get up from the floor, gushing out apologies and explanations while Xanxus punches some gaping holes in the wall. Xanxus' yapping and yapping, and Lussuria's groveling and groveling, and yet he somehow ends up at Xanxus' now soaking wet boxers again anyway - like his hands are negatively charged and Xanxus' crotched is positively charged and it's only destiny that they should meet over and over again, no matter how hard one resists and the other kind of NOT resists. And he just TUGS DOWNWARD, because that way, hey he's helping the boss and

technophile:

and that's a good thing.

Except his boss doesn't seem to agree with him. Especially from the way he starts shouting again and trying to kick him in the face until Lussuria points out that the boss was going to get changed anyway, and Xanxus can't disagree (but he can still shout and kick, which he does). Eventually Lussuria ends up on the floor again with the fifth or so pair of sunglasses Xanxus has broken this week, and Xanxus storms off into his closet to find something to wear

except he's totally not expecting Lussuria to actually get up and FOLLOW HIM IN (which might have been a mistake on his part) but give him a break, he just woke up ten fucking minutes ago to ANOTHER MAN TOUCHING HIS BOXERS (worse, the boxers which he doesn't have ON ANY MORE) and his morning's been fucked up enough already, and he's thinking why the fuck couldn't they send someone ELSE to wake him up when suddenly Lussuria's hands are sliding up his legs again and there's a voice in his ear telling him how good boss'd look with such and such a shirt on

and WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING ANNOYING FAG and then Xanxus is reaching for the spare pair of pistols he keeps in every single room in the house (these happen to be buried in his pile of shoes) and shoving them in Lussuria's face and yelling at him to GET THE FUCK OUT, GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW, and clean up the fucking MESS you made before I come back out or there will be hell to pay (sorts of hell that Xanxus decides to leave to Lussuria's imagination)

and Lussuria's kind of whining and asking why he can't just get a maid to do it and looking almost excitedly down the barrels of both PISTOLS IN HIS FACE and Xanxus almost thinks this is fucking TURNING THE FAG ON and that just pisses him off even more (and even more than that when he realizes FUCK he's still NAKED) and he just yells something about THE (forty-third or so) MAID (this year, so far) QUIT (again, what kind of maid could deal with a guy like Xanxus), JUST GET THE FUCK OUT, shoves Lussuria back into the room and slams the door in his face -

and when he gets back out, his bed's neat and all the food and plates are gone and Lussuria's standing there in a new pair of sunglasses (but not in the apron any more, Xanxus notes with something that might be relief) just kind of waiting - at least until Xanxus steps all the way out and then Lussuria's going off again about how oh, boss wore the shirt! he knew it'd look good! and on and on and Xanxus just shoves him out of the way to the door and says let's just fucking go.

Xanxus kicks anybody that mentions shirts or breakfast or mornings that day, and nobody knows why, but nobody asks.

character: xanxus, fanfic, character: lussuria

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