Squee and grr: Post #2-GRRR!

[hiyacynth]

Isn’t it life's way? Good stuff happens, and then the crap rears up and tries to suck the joy from life. Then something good breaks through and shines some light, banishing the crap for a while. Rather than mix my squee and woe in one post, I choose to celebrate/gripe about them separately.So, yeah. In many ways, I'm at the happiest spot of my life

Comments

[kjfri]

My god, woman! I'm 'grrrr'ing right along with you. Being somewhat new to this whole stage of pregnancy and hormones and feeling wonky in general, I kind of agree with your acupuncturist friend. I have all my appendages crossed that you are, in fact, with child. Early on for me, my boobs were really sore and then I woke up and felt perfectly fine, so who knows. All I know is I'm keeping you in my thoughts and sending you positive reproductive hormonal vibes. *hugs*

[hiyacynth]

Thanks, honey! I appreciate the good thoughts and appendage crossing.

For my own emotional health--can't take another let down right now--I am working on the presumption that I am not pregnant (though I'll be happy if I'm wrong). My doctor told me to try as best I could to just stop thinking in terms of symptoms because basically any pregnancy symptom can be caused by many other normal circumstance.

Still. A plan is good. I'm all about the plan.

How are you feeling these days?

[kjfri]

no, no - I don't feel right discussing me - let's wait and chat after next week's appointment...appendages are crossed and double-crossed.

[chemm80]

Oh, honey, I am sorry. But I'm glad you were able to let all these bad feelings out in a safe place, here. It sounds like you're doing all the right things to me, but I'm betting that your body is pretty messed up right now. I know it took me a really long time to recover from the miscarriage I had, both physically and emotionally. We did have two more babies after that, though, so... And I don't see how the treatment with your friend can hurt. If nothing else, maybe it will help you feel less anxious. Anyway, we're all pulling for you. *hugs*

[hiyacynth]

Thank you, and then thank you again. It feels good to get some of this out

[chemm80]

apparently doesn't believe or care that challenges and risks go up as you pass 35 (long gone for me) and 40 (waiting for me in December).

Oh yeah. I didn't want to dwell on that, but I can see how that would be a concern for you. Maybe your mom just feels like she'd be making it worse by encouraging you to talk about the bad feelings, like it's allowing you to wallow, or something? Or maybe she just doesn't want to revisit her own intensely bad experience? I don't know.

the friends who have gone through similar situations all have kids now and generally just say, "It'll all happen as soon as you stop thinking about it," which is nice and probably true, but not all that helpful at the moment. I wish I could say I don't get this, because I don't...in that I would never say this to anyone, but I totally get what you're talking about because I heard the same thing

[hiyacynth]

Re: My age. Yeah, I hear you. While I'm not on auto-freakout about my age, I am definitely very aware that the risks in every single area go up, and I'd just as soon get started before the escalate more.

And my mom... She's generally socially awkward and specifically not fine-tuned in her maternal instincts, so I think she's trying to be helpful but just missing the mark. I've gotten used to it and can usually translate her words into what I think she meant by them, but sometimes I'm just like "Argh! Communicate better!"

Anyway, no worries about rehashing. Will vent again if needed *hugs again*

[liptonrm]

UGH! AGAIN! And it just brings me back to how totally fucked up it is that drunk, irresponsible sixteen year olds can get knocked up without even trying but you have to go through all of this bullshit.

I'm glad you have a plan and I really, really, really hope you don't have to put up with this stage of the process for very much longer. Life is so not fair and it sucks beyond the telling.

I love you, babe, and I've always got your back.

[hiyacynth]

Yes! The world, she is supremely injust.

Having he plan to get things back on track is good, but knowing I've got you covering my six helps enormously.

*loves with Skiplike love*

[saberivojo]

I don't know what to say except that I am so sorry you are going through all of this.

You are probably sick of good intentioned people saying this, but don't try so hard okay? Have sex. Have lots of sex. Have fun with it. Do it when it is optimal - do it when it is not. Sometimes I think the stress of trying to get pregnant fucks up your hormones and keeps you from getting pregnant.

I know I am just a bystander but my heart is in the right place.

*hands you fertility goddess totem*

[hiyacynth]

Thanks, hon.

I'm sure you're right, but I gotta say, not working so hard is really, really hard. I've been working on it (ha, see? I have to work on working on it), but I feel like every time I find some level of peace or relaxation about things, something weird happens that throws me right back on the worry wagon.

Still, I'm feeling remarkably zen since I talked to my doctor, and am aiming toward a new, more relaxed attitude once we get my cycle back on track.

In the meantime, *takes fertility totem: sex and lots of it. :-D

[dodger_sister]

I hope you're feeling a little better now and at least you have some things set up to try. Plans are good. I love plans. I'm so sorry the world is full of people who shouldn't be running around getting knocked up (looks shifty eyed at certain family members) and you are having so much trouble. Call me anytime and I will distract you with ridiculousness. Ridiculousness, I say! Also, I shall be posting fic for the sister's birthday and it is of the crack variety. Maybe it'll cheer you up. Maybe it'll make you disown me. Whichever. (I know you don't like RPS, but does it count as RPS if it's really about Jon Stewart? He's not a real person, is he?)