5 times JUMP were agitated by Hikaru's obssession with Chester Bennington and Justin Timberlake
Title: 5 times JUMP were agitated by Hikaru's obssession with Chester Bennington and Justin Timberlake + 1 time they did something about it
Author: hiyorin_jump, a.k.a. Hiyo~
Rating: PG for language? I dunno, I don't even remember putting any swearing..
Pairings: None, unless you count Hikaru x Chester Bennington x Justin Timberlake.
Genre: Er.. Humour/Crack?
Summary: Hikaru's obsessions have surpassed Chinen's obsession with Ohno, and JUMP are gonna do something about it. This is my first fic, so constructive criticism is wanted. Badly.
Written for HSJ-thon. I'm a n00b, so I don't know how to shorten the link to HSJ-thon. Help me~ (If it shortens by itself or something like that, ignore that part....
Also, If I used lj-cut wrong, please tell me! I'm a n00b. So yeah.
link: http://spheksophobia.livejournal.com/32316.html
1.
By 9:00 PM, JUMP was exhausted. They had just finished a concert, so naturally, they collapsed right when they entered their dressing room. Yabu saw to it that they all had water, while the others just lazed about. Except for one person. Hikaru had turned on the T.V. and was dancing to none other than Justin Timberlake. Sexyback, nonetheless. The volume was upped to the max, and the members cringed.
"Hikaru, you're not bringing Sexyback, and please turn the volume down. Ryutaro doesn't need to know what that guy's singing about yet" Yabu chided. After all, there were japanese subtitles. Hikaru gave a pout which strangely looked like MatsuJun on a normal day, and switched the channel. Unfortunately, it was Linkin Park. On Music Station. And of course, Hikaru fangirled.
He started screaming, and said something that vaguely sounded like"OMGLINKINPARKCHESTERBENNINGTONYABUPLEASELETMEWATCHITWASABI." And of course, a storm had to come and strand them at the jimusho. Which miraculously didn't short circuit the T.V., where Hikaru had recorded the performance and put it on replay.54 times. The rest of JUMP sat in the corner, shielding Chinen and Ryutaro from Chester's screaming, and comtemplating on how to put Hikaru in a temporary coma.
2.
Daiki didn't know what to do. Everybody had something to keep them busy, except for him. Chinen had ninja'd himself onto Yamada's lap, Inoo was listening to Namie Amuro, Yuto was eating basashi*, Ryutaro had homework, Keito was reading some english book, Takaki and Yabu had strangely disappeared together somewhere, and Yamada...had Chinen on his lap.
Oh. There was Hikaru. He had jacked the T.V. again, this time staring at Chester Bennington on some interview show. Daiki felt a bit relieved; at least he shut up. But since life hated him, it not only left him vertically challenged, it made Hikaru talk.
"OMGDAI-CHANLOOKTHEY'REPERFORMINGRIGHTNOWOMG" Hikaru yelled, and started to glomp the screen. Daiki looked to the other members for help, but they all ignored him. Yuto even started whistling, which made his situation worse.
"Look, Hikaru, why can't you at least fanboy over the japanese guy instead of the bald one with tatoos?" He asked. When Hikaru didn't answer, he figured to leave it alone, and find Takaki and Yabu, wherever they went. Suddenly his phone rang, with a mail from Tackey. How he got his mail address, he would never know.
'Help. Me. Come to dressing room. NOW.
TACKEY SENPAI<3'
Daiki cringed at the heart, and went to their dressing room. When he got there, he was attacked by Tackey.
"DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIKARU. PLEASE." Tackey pleaded, and explained Hikaru's antics while filming Orthros no Inu before he started to sob. Daiki booked it out of there, not wanting to sympathize with a sobbing Tackey. When he got back to the dressing room door, all of JUMP minus Hikaru were outside the door. He could easily hear the loud Linkin Park music that had been cranked to the max, even through the closed door. Yabu broke the members silence.
"When did we say we were gonna put him in a coma again?"
3.
"Hey, hey Keito. Can translate this for me?" Hikaru asked Keito. Keito, being the gentleman that he was, couldn't say no. Hikaru's puppy-dog face almost made him refuse though. He looked at the printed document in front of him. They were Justin Timberlake lyrics again. He might as well, since he had nothing else to do.
When he finished, he set it on top of Hikaru's stuff, seeing as he disappeared somewhere. Keito sighed. Hikaru was worse than Chinen sometimes. He plopped down on the couch, and was ready to get some much needed rest with the rest of 7, when BEST burst through the door.
"FANMAAAAAIL!" Hikaru screamed at the top of his lungs. On the other side of the jimusho, Nishikido was banging his head against a wall.
"They're in english, so Keito, we need ya."
"Sorry Keito~"
"I don't remember any of my english from school~"
Keito gave in, and waited while they sorted the letters. When they finished, Keito picked up one of Hikaru's. It had a package with it, and it was from a girl named Anna (A.N. SHAMELESS SELF INSERTION, I KNOW. I did send him a letter in real life though). In Canada, nonetheless. He tore open the envelope.
"Dear Hikaru, I'm a really big fan! I heard you liked Justin Timberlake, so I went to one of his autograph signings, and asked him to sign an autograph for you when it was my turn! I hope you like it~" Keito finished. He almost wished he read Takaki's letters first, as most of JUMP were now restraining Hikaru. When they couldn't hold on any longer, Hikaru dived for the folder, and pulled out the autograph, which had been laminated.
"Where is that chick? I need to freaking MARRY HER." He screamed. The rest of JUMP started to scream and talk loudly, hoping others didn't hear the sudden marriage proposal that was screamed by Hikaru.
"Hikaru, shut it! If someone heard, you could've gotten suspended!" Daiki whispered harshly. Hikaru ignored him, and danced around the dressing room. It wasn't just the dressing room either. He went to every single junior and showed them the autograph. He went to Johnny-san's office and showed him the autograph. While he ran around like he drank coffee for breakfast, JUMP stood at the entrance to the jimusho, pretending that they didn't know him.
"I'M LOVIN' IT~" Hikaru scream-sang, while workers covered their ears. On the other side of the jimusho, in NEWS's dressing room, Nishikido popped an Advil, while the rest of members stared at him weirdly.
"Dude, I actually feel sorry for you," Yamapi whispered.
4.
Today, the jimusho was unnaturally quiet. Even today, there weren't any screams coming from JUMP's dressing room. They were looking over concert plans and setlists and other...stuff. Well, 9 of them. Hikaru, on the other hand, was moping in the corner.
"Yo chibi, what happened to Hikaru?"
"Orthros no Inu's 2nd episode got a rating of 9.4, and don't call me chibi, TakaGI." After hearing Takaki and Daiki's conversation, the rest of JUMP diverted their attention to Hikaru. He looked pretty depressed, seeing as he was even ignoring the cat plushie conveniently placed beside him.
Here's the thing; Yama-chan stopped OTP-ing with strawberries, Chinen stopped playing with his custom made Ohno action figure, Yuto stopped stuffing his face with basashi, and Takaki stopped eternally ironing his hair. Hikaru being quiet was a rare event, so the JUMP members were left dumbfounded.
"Psst." Ryutaro turned around. Deciding it was nothing, he turned back to the marvel that was in front of him.
"Yo, Taro or whatever. PSSSST." This time, Ryutaro knew something was up. He turned around to find none other than Nishikido Ryo hiding in the doorway.
"N-Nishikido....san?" Ryutaro stuttered. He was scared out of his mind; After all, he was known for his poison tongue.
"Shhh! Kid, I need your help," He whispered. Ryutaro tilted his head in confusion. He quietly walked into the hall with Ryo, making sure the other members didn't notice them.
"Kid, you've gotta do something about Yaotome. He's killed the brains of our filming crew, made Mizukawa-san go insane, and I don't even want to start on Takizawa," he said in one breath. Ryutaro cocked his head to the side again, trying to figure out what was making the cast and crew of Orthros no Inu so agitated, when a scream came from the dressing room.
"OMGCHESTERBENNINGTONITSTHENEWLINKINPARKVIDEOOMGMOVEITYABUCCHI!" Ryutaro and Ryo hesitantly peeked into the dressing room to see all the JUMP members rubbing there heads in pain. The song 'New Divide' was on max volume, and Ryutaro wondered how Hikaru couldn't go through epileptic shock by watching the strange PV up close.
"So, Nishikido-san, what wa-" Ryutaro cut off when he saw that Ryo made a run for it. A small piece of paper was left on the ground, and Ryutaro picked it up.
'Taro, this is what I deal with on set. Please, help that kid. -Nishikido'
Ryutaro sighed, and started to rub his forehead in frustration at Hikaru, like the rest of JUMP.
"Holy freaking MatsuJun, this has to stop..." Takaki moaned, feeling a headache coming on.
5.
Yabu didn't want to risk going into the dressing room. It was unnaturally quiet in there, and it wasn't only him. The rest of JUMP were huddled outside the closed door. They could hear shuffling inside, and since no one else had a key except for them and Julie-san, it must've been Hikaru. After all, Julie did not have any intention of being alone. With Hikaru.
"Okay, we go in on 3. 1,2,3!" They burst through the door in a crumpled heap, with Takaki mumbling something about his hair. The sight scared them half to death.
"HIKAAAARRRUUUUUU!!!!" They all screamed. Linkin Park and Justin Timberlake posters covered the walls, Linkin Park music was blastiong from the stereos, a Justin Timberlake performance was on TV, and Hikaru had jacked Keito's laptop to search things on Chester Bennington and Justin Timberlake.
"Oh, hey guys. What do you think? Pretty cool huh?" He said with a big smile on his face. The members just walked out, leaving him to his little paradise.
"Jeez. Why are they acting like I put wasabi in their lunch again?" He questioned.
+1.
"This has to stop!"
"He's even more annoying than usual."
"The cats aren't working!"
"Inoo-chan's flirting didn't work either!"
"Since when does my flirting work anyway?"
"Can I chuck my straightening iron at him?"
"Can I put my hamster in his pants?"
"I can disguise my basashi under tons of wasabi!"
"I can disguise my strawberries under tons of wasabi!"
"SHUT IT!" Yabu yelled. JUMP recoiled, and their heads drooped.
"Why are you guys so down? We need to do those ideas. ALL of those ideas." Yabu gave them an out-of-character evil smile. The other JUMP members joined in, waiting for the exact moment to strike.
Upon returning to the dressing room, when Hikaru immediately jacked Keito's laptop to resume his fangirling, he immediately felt a source of heat whiz past the back of his neck. A loud crash was heard soon after.
"Dammit, I missed." Takaki mumbled.
"Hey Yuuyan, wasn't that your straightener?" Hikaru said cluelessy.
"Eheheh... Um... I.. was aiming for the garbage.." Takaki said sheepishly. To his surprise, Hikaru didn't notice a thing, and went back to his fangirling. He also didn't notice that the garbage can was right beside Takaki, instead of across the room.
"Keito, hurry and bring Neko-chan!" Yabu whispered fiercely. Keito dashed to where the cat was being held, and managed to ninja it onto Hikaru's lap.
"Aww, aren't you cute?" Hikaru said to Neko-chan. The rest of JUMP nearly fell off of their chairs, upon Hikaru thinking that a cat was cute.
"Inoo-chan! Go! Do something! Anything!" Chinen whispered to Inoo. He gulped, trying to think of what to do. He slowly walked over to Hikaru, adn tapped his shoulder.
"Ne, Hikaru-ku~n..." He said sweetly.
"No, I'm not going on a date with you." Hikaru said immediately. It appears that Inoo's self esteem deflated greatly. Yabu hesitantly patted him on the back, and motioned for Yuto and Yamada to begin their 'fake sushi' plan.
"Hikaru, do you want some sushi?" They both asked, as the two tried to restrain laughter.
"Oh, sure." He took a wasabi covered strawberry and some of the wasabi-basashi as well. He devoured both of them in record time.
"Mmm. This is good! What's it called?" Both Yamada and Yuto fell to the floor in shock. The rest of JUMP appeared to give out as well.
"Hey, whats the matter? Yabu? What happened?" Hikaru questioned. Yabu slapped his forehead in frustration.
"HIKARU. STOP OBSESSING OVER CHESTER BENNINGTON AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. PLEASE." He said, exasperated. Hikaru gave him a blank look.
"Okay." He said, as if nothing had happened.
"W-wait...what?! Butwedidsomanythingstomakeyoustopbutyouignoreduswhenweaskedyoutostopdancingandturnthevolumedownand-"
"Hahah, I was that obessive? Sorry! You could've just said so at the beginning" He said, and grabbed a concert plan. The rest of JUMP didn't know whether to be happy or sad.
"My straightener..." Takaki sobbed.
Note*: Basashi = raw horse meat yo.
I'm done. Holy cow this took forever. But it was fun making Hikaru all hyper lol. COMMENT PLZ. This is my first fic EVER, so I need feedback yo.