Concrit Post 16

[hmd_me]

How's My Driving?
∞ Comment with all the journals you RP with (and the communities they're from).
∞ Reply to other people's comments (anon or logged in) with constructive criticism.
∞ Learn from the suggestions and profit!

▶ Play nice! Flaming will not be tolerated, and threads with such will be deleted. Save the wank for anonmemearchive/roleplaysecrets▶ IP addresses are not

Comments

[seymourelf]

[seymourelf]

ngl you are awesomeness all over and very strong and even though we are such bros I still get intimidated by it sometimes. But as for what I actually came here to say! I hope some of this is actually helpful, as it mostly consists of me trying very very hard to be objective and not just explode love all over you.

Seymour: Characterization is great, and since you said it wasn't a concern I'll leave it at that. Prose is a little purple with him compared to your other characters, but you seem to have been doing a better job of making that aspect flow a little more naturally with the character. Sometimes it feels as though you don't quite trust your partner enough with scene direction--not one I've experienced myself, just that I've noticed in other threads. OTOH, if it's working for you and your partners that way, carry on.

Rangiku: HER TITS ARE TOO HUGE. REIN THOSE THINGS IN, THEY ARE BLINDING LIKE THE SUN. No but seriously I have no complaints so far. Not too manry from my point of view, unless you somehow consider "mature adult

[seymourelf]

Sh-shut up, anon. I will try to take your comments on board, and I appreciate the thoughtful asskissing criticism very much.

As far as Feilong's fanon goes: he tends to be quite uke and quite tsun and not nearly as explicitly violent as I play him. But then I always seem to go off and ruin canon by being srs bsns + 1000. :/ A lot of the fanbase also ships Asami/Feilong really hard, which I can understand, but it just doesn't work for me.

R-RANTING: actually I kind of always shipped Mik/Fei but didn't... have any... real idea how it worked. Just - LOL YAOI THEY R IN LUV. But playing this Fei against the excellent LS Mikhail, I have carved out a vision of the ship that seems coherent and sensible to me: Mikhail is like all of Asami's advice to Feilong made incarnate - direct, self-motivated, self-interested - with an additional trolly chaser. Fei helplessly loathes and admires him as the unthinkably sexy older brother he should have had. What I don't understand is why Mikhail would ever seriously bother with Feilong. And maybe he

[seymourelf]

I like your interpretation quite a bit. A little too srsbsns sometimes for the source, were it anyone else, but you really do make it flow with him. Considering all of the very very obviously toppish look guys I am a top watch me kidnap and molest this delicious uke things he does in canon, I think your interpretation of him having a harder time with bottoming makes perfect sense. W-when he does tsun you somehow make it both cute as a button and terrifying.

I ship Mikhail and Feilong and Haruki in LS like you wouldn't believe. I never thought I'd be into the pairing in the first place but fuck, you guys converted me and I'd love to see more.

[seymourelf]

Liu makes me happy in my pants. You are doing everything exactly right.

[seymourelf]

Haven't threaded with you at all at LS, but definitely been lurking your Ran. And I love her. I haven't read everything but from what I've seen, you're on the right track.